Marriage still the best choice for kids

Guardian: Marriage still the best way to play happy, healthy families, says study

Oh Dino...maybe I am just in a bad mood but you are somehow starting to irritate me with your hidden (not) Christian agenda.

Sprry, I did not mean to upset anyone. But just saw this "national statistics" and wanted others to know...

Well thank you...now we know. Thank "God" for all of those reliable statistics and surveys. I shiver to think what the world would be like without them.

Yeah.
We all pick and choose what we want to support

I looked at the actual statistical analysis on the official site of the Office for National Statistics. All I saw was factual information ..funny there was no mention of in-depth, psychological analysis of the families and their "level of happiness and health". Odd...perhaps it's best to look directly at the statitics and not a journalist's slant...

I love the title: Marriage is still the best choice, for kids..

"still?" marriage has existed for eons but rights for children have not. Marriage most certainly not help the lives of battered children or of children in third-world countries or in some lands where the children are sent by their married parents to work in factories.

Please. Marriage is an economic arrangement and does benefit the children, IF the marriage is a happy one. Which mean, *gasp*, that happy parents make happy kids..a marriage certificate has nothing to do with it.

As I said, we find "evidence" of what we want to say.
Nothing will convince us unless "you" hold my opinion.
Or I hold your opinion.

"...according to an analysis of six years of government data on family life..."

"...The analysis, published yesterday by the Office for National Statistics..."

I think they are making it up...

Dino, point to the analysis..tell me which statistic PROVES that marriage is always best for children's level of happiness and health. Would a child of married parents be less likely to suffer from leukemia?


and??!! I could analyse my bum for six years and come up with a theory on global warming and the happiness of goats living in the Alps.
This reminds me of older "analytical facts" that claimed that women were happier and healthier if they stayed home and had children. riiiiight...

As I said, we find "evidence" of what we want to say.
Nothing will convince us unless "you" hold my opinion.
Or I hold your opinion.

I don't need to prove it nor am I going to say otherwise.
When people spend time and effort analysing such data, officially, and come up with some conclusions,
I don't go and ask for proof, unless a majority of people disagree, then something is nor right...

I just will say that there is this survey/study results, and you can accept or reject.

That is simply the Truth.
And Truth is Exclusive.

So, by your logic here, if your kid is doing bad a school, just go down to the Standesamt, sign some papers and that should solve the problem? Or do you have to do it in the Church, so your invisible sky giant can bless your child so he/she does better? Please explain.

@saint,

So I assume you would not also believe this then, without PROOF?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/02...h.ap/index.html

You make me laugh.

If it was that simple, Life would be wonderful aint it?

No if you actually think a bit, you would know that it is a cause-effect situation.

It is generally true that marriage has its benefits as apposed to not being married.
And these benefits are for the family life stuff ( like happier kids, more belonging etc).

I also want to say that being single has its benefits, but in other areas like independence, ..etc

Co-habiting, I am not sure what the real benefits are, but I think shere should be some, but they are not in the "family enrichment" areas ( obviously) and hence not the best for the whole family, including kids. That is the point of the survey.

NOTE: I do not claim that this is always true. But in General it must be.

Oh joy, another pointless discussion on the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Please explain the direct benefits that signing a piece of paper gives you and your family over not signing a bit of paper. It's probably not far fetched to say that children grow up better when both parents are around for them while they are growing up. When people are married, they are most likely both going to be around. This is however no different to other people who choose not to marry but both take an active interest in their kids.

The survey is a crock of shit. Of course it is going to "show" that kids in married couples grow up better on average than ones in a non married situation. The group containing non-married people will contain a proportion of people who are separated and whose kids don't get this aforementioned support from two parents. This brings down the statistics of the non-married half, which otherwise contains responsible and healthy family groups comprising of non-married parents who are together, and also non-married parents who live apart but take an active role in their kids lives.

Do the parents grow up better?

Marriage is NOT about signing a paper only.
It is about a relationship that has both joy and pain.
And yes, being around and being COMMITED, for better or for worse, is a strong statement that the married couples send to the kids.

I am both against co-habiting and Divorce, in this sense, since both are cop-outs.
( Just ignoring credible reasons for divorce for the moment, since we are talking in a 'General' sense )


If I understand this correctly,
Yes, Both parents "grow up" better when they are in a COMMITED, lifelong, relationship than in an UNCOMMITED, "any time quit" mentality ( including divorce), with Pre-Nap agreements ( where we love our stuff more than each other ) Scenario.

Marriage is what you make of it, as is being in a non-married, co-habiting relationship. The fact is, marriage is just signing a piece of paper. What value you put on it after that is up to you, and you don't have to get married to put value on a relationship.


This is only because you have been brainwashed by your outdated religion.

If marriage was just signing of paper, if you lose the paper, I assume you are no longer married.

Please...
Likely that you are not married, because your wife will beat your head if she knew this ( assuming you are male).
It is about a relationship dear.

I assume that your Job is also just signing a piece of paper then. It probably has nothing to do with doing a job well and having collegue-relationships.


And you have been brainwashed with ...with...ah nothing I guess...Empty then...

Divorce is a copout where one or both parties do not want to work it out and share the pain needed for the marriage.

So you admit marriage is pain then.

Sign a piece of paper and then have to go through pain for the rest of your life. Good system this.

Is there anything without pain?
Our Jobs? NO.
Our Families? No.
Welcome to real life.

You see, this is exactly what my point is.

We all live in a world of pain and suffering and also JOY and happiness.

We cannot only pursue OUR happiness. It just does not work.
We also have to think about others around us including our families, happiness and joy.

Marriage "pains" are far less compared to the Pains and resutls of Divorce or Other forms of cop outs.
( And these marriage pains are actually ways and methods that help us to Change Ourselves, so that eventually we become better people . The earlier we quit, we repeat the same issues over and over again ...I say = stick to marraige and work it out! )

That is the Truth.

It's clear you say that time and again Dino

If I'm in a job where I can't stand getting out of bed and hate every minute of my day I find a new job.

i wish...

Of course then... if we were really concerned with the well being of children, we wouldn't allow straight couples to raise them...

Children raised by same sex couples fare better

This guy wouldn't know the Truth if it bit him on the arse. It's as fine a display of trolling brain washing as i have seen for many a day.

This thread is making my

Ok, it's like registering a car then. You sign a bit of paper and the authorities note it down.


Well, we agree on one thing. It's about a relationship, not about marriage.


What does this have to do with anything?


Exactly, I am brainwashed with nothing - completely empty of brainwashing.


Your comments probably sound pretty naive, hurtful and frankly stupid to someone that is in an abusive relationship. "That is the Truth".

Why do you keep capitalizing the word "truth" when it's not at the beginning of a sentence? Did I miss something after seventh grade English?

It's because he/she/it is a silly fucker who thinks that capitalising the word makes it more powerful and meaningful. It's like putting 'Fact.' at the end of a sentence.

It's all the same bollocks that we heard long ago from Psioni.

well you could easily invert the argument and could say marriage is a cop-out, as you could argue that co-habitees actually stay together because they want to and are committed, whereas some who marry perhaps only stay together because they are officially married or (in Germany and countries that enforce joint taxation) for tax reasons, which presumably isn't so healthy. i.e. if you are both committed why feel the need to create a forced bond

This is exactly the point.

If you are commited, why not show it to the world, legally, as that is the legal means still?
That is the purpose of the marraige ceremonies as well, to show the public that one is "taken"...
Indeed also the reason why it is often asked if there are any objections in the ceramony itslef...

If you are commited for life to someone, why not show it ? Why are you scared to take that step ?

Who are you to tell other people how they should show their commitment to each other? Go ahead and throw a big wedding if you want, but to judge someone and to infer that they are bad parents because they have not done some ceremony is ridiculous and is just showing your intolerance.

My tuppence: dino may be a silly ass, but he has a point. If you're committed to someone, why not be committed to someone? Anyone who's been through a divorce knows that marriage is than a silly ceremony or a piece of paper. It's a binding contract (oh how binding!). Getting divorced is the emotional and financial equivalent of a colonoscopy with no anesthetic and that's the risk you run when you sign on for a marriage. And that matters.

You know however… everything you said can be used to make an argument for the opposite (see the time limited marriage thread). Basically, doesn’t it show you love someone more if you are still with them when it is easy to leave?

Started to type a carefully considered response, but then thought better of it. The answer to your question is no, because I love my wife and no one on Earth loves anyone more than I love her.

Putting all that aside ... meh. Get married, don't get married. Go to church, don't go to church. Whatever, man. Or as Mike Royko once put it, "Couldn't we just arm wrestle for a beer?"

Not really.

It shows someone you REALLY love them more, when you give your life for their good in exchange for nothing, even if that means
you give up your rights in marriage.

Fuck me sideways with a porpentine.

Agreed... can't we just get back to Avocados?

But if you truly give a shit for the person it isn't easy to leave no matter what the bitch says or does.

Why show the world, when the only person you really need to show what you feel, is the only one that really matters?

So he/she can prance about in a nauseatingly smug fashion, cocooned in self-congratulatory social superiority, until he/she slips in the steaming pile caused by my own projectile vomiting.

Which would be nice

Just in case you have forgotten, we live in a Society.

Marraige ceremonies are about display as well as celebration.
Why invite and have fun/joy with friends and family if only that matters is you 2 .
Exacly my point: We get so "selfish" we think only we matter.

It gives great honor to your partner when you PUBLICALLY express your Love and Desire for HER/HIM in a ceramony...If you did not know.

All other kinds of affection that is privat, can be in your home.

Oh, and next time, please reject your award ceramonies as well and just ask for your graduation certificate to be mailed to you...

I'm sure if we tried we could make this thread more juvenile

This dino guy has obviously never been through the divorce shredder that would surely mangle his rosy glasses.

I'm sorry, could I have that reply in English please, with your return address in Cloud-F**king-Cuckoo-Land. Like reading the verbal equivalent of a shart.

I am sure you understand the message.
Maybe you have no real answer, so you pick on my poor english.

Did someone say "juvenile".?

Nevermind.

That is your assumption. BBoy.

Divorce shredder or not, there still must be some faith left somewhere with regards to the opposite/same sex if we still continue to pursue loving non-platonic relationships.

As for children, as long as both parents are respectful and kind to each other, it doesn't matter if they are divorced, living together, or married. Children need their parents' happiness in order to have their own.

As for marriage, it is about sharing a special moment with the people you care for. Whether that's only your partner, your friends/family or the whole world it doesn't matter. There's nothing wrong with celebrating a moment of joy (the love that we all wish for ourselves), and whether that lasts one month or 50 years, at the time, it is the utmost.

Funnily enough, due to being out of the country, I did just that.. do you have some fetish for ceremonies?

Don't forget to send a postcard when you arrive in the 21st century.