German toilets, the "lay and display" design

Right then,

Wife to be and I have just this minute had the following argument:

I pointed out the obvious superiority of British pans over Deutsch crappers.

I hate the smell you get which occurrs cos it just sits on the ledge, staring at you. In a British toilet it slides down into the water and doesn't smell.

Jeremy.

I'm pretty sure that the normal german toilets use less water... although I think the new brit toilets are also pretty efficient. I reckon that's the reason why they're normally these "poo shelf" devices. My bog doesn't have the shelf!

With most german toilets you can control how much water is used by pressing back on the panel/lever thing to close the valve. On british ones, once you've pulled the lever there's no stopping it, and the entire tank is released.

The downside of german ones is that in most cases the cistern (that's the tank that holds the water) is built into the wall behind the tiles. That means it's not possible to open it up to disinfect it, fix the mechanism, add a couple of bricks, etc.

My grandparents have had a dual flush toilet (short or long flush) for more years than I can remember. What's the diff between that and the German system?

If you've eaten a lot the night before the ledge can render your ride on the porcelain bus an experience needing of more paper than should be necessary imo. As I eat a lot I am happy to say that neither my shitter at home nor the one at work has a ledge. You must just be unlucky Jeremy.

You're right Spuds, nowhere to stash the drugs when you can't get to the cistern.

Blast!

The following is an excerpt from an article I wrote a few years ago on this topic.

The title is: "The Continental Shelf"

The idea of a shelf in a toilet means, in practical terms, that you either defecate very small turds like rabbit pellets or if you’re a person like myself who eats a lot and therefore lays large logs, you have to balance precariously with one hand on the toilet roll holder and one hand one the bath and lever yourself upwards inch by inch so that you can release the pasty. Otherwise you end up with piles and conical shaped shits where you’ve been forcing it against the porcelain. Either way, you inevitable end up with „Bremsstreifen“ (skid marks) along your inner thigh as the last and usually the sloppiest bit of the turd does „the scrotum scrape“. All this first thing of a morning coupled with the fact that whichever f*cker did say "yes" to the blueprint of "The Shelf" decided to add insult to injury and put a lip on the shelf and a pathetically weak flush that simply will not move the turd - no way. this means that you have to reach inside the bog and shift it with your hands. You have to wash your arse, your hands and the toilet. Stupid stupid stupid Appalling idea.

I don’t consider it taboo to talk about poo and I’ve asked a few Germans why, oh why does this phenomenon occur. The usual answer is „Well its practical if you want to take stool samples“.

Now. I, myself have a hereditary bowel condition which means that I probably have to take more than your average samples. Chefs, people who cook professionally, have to take I think three samples a year to be checked to make sure they are not passing on cholera or something. But your average person on the street - let me ask you a question. How many stool samples have you ever taken? I’m afraid I have to say, that even if I had to take a stool sample every time I dropped I would still prefer the old „turd in water“ model any day of the week. I mean it’s like a car with square wheels. The answer’s no, isn’t it?

Although these totally inconvenient toilets are becoming more and more rare, they still represent shit design.

The traditional brit crapper anytime.

karambos

I agree. I don't think I've ever given a stool sample in my life. I hate the 'viewing platform' toilet.

BTW, anyone seen

www.ratemypoo.com

Here you will find a range of exquisite thrones from around the world replete with defecatory exctract from a plethora of ethnic (western generally) digestive tracts.

Enjoy this after your lunch not before

http://www.poopreport.com/

I wish I had a German toilet here in the UK. The British toilet splash a lot.

I personally love the korean toilet seat that my parents imported and installed. The thing is heated so there isn't every that cold shock upon sitting down. It has a bidet like function that washes your bum in various streaming jets of warm or cool water (depending on your preference and there is a "massage" mode as well) and then it has a blow dry function to finish off. It's the basic model so it doesn't have the music, lights, or air freshener fragrance modes like some of the fancier models do.

I think it is very important to have the ability to inspect what you poop. "You are what you poop" as the saying goes, and if something should be going on that you should know about, you have the chance to clarify it ASAP. And since the German's call it a "Geschäft"...one should be able to admire ones work.

The bad thing about these toilets is that they are just so unsanitary!

For one thing you have to flush 3-4 times to get most things away. Plus you would think rather than the 'bitte brusten' signs they would just buy better designed toilets.

If things aren't moving the way they should, perhaps it's due to a serioius lime scale buildup. Scrub the thing and soak with vinegar. After moving into the new flat I discovered that the turlet was cracked and asked specifically for the "display" type. They installed the small rear hole type instead. Still less water usage but this one's splashy. I'll admit to a bit of shock the first time I encountered them, but I quickly grew to prefer them. Among other reasons, there's no backsplash.

woof.

Slavoj Zizek has some interesting commentary about toilets:




[img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/143/349095397_778e0da517_o.jpg[/img]

Sliding is still 'crappy'. You have to clean it after each use. Where's the convenience in that? In a US toilet you clean it once a month or even less if you have one of those blue water thingys.
Vote US. This is why we call it a toilet 'bowl'.
Found this photo.

The amount of water in a US toilet makes one misleadingly think that splashback is increased, however it's actually the opposite, as one ends up easing the goods gently down into the water from close range. Smooth.

The second type is the worst as the drop is extremely high which means that anything larger than a pebbleshit (copyright Eddie Murphy) is going to generate copious amounts of urine-laced splashback. Unpleasant.

The third one is disgusting. I fail to see why anyone would want to see their stool on a platter? Reminds me of these vomit-inducing toilets you get in trains.

What about some other types to condend with?

- hole in the floor with feet on either side, common on French service stations about 20 years ago

- basin to sit on, but still just a hole in the floor underneath, as seen on trains in the UK until recently (not to be used in the stations!)

Anyone else read this article recently?

Shouldnt that be "bitte bürsten". Or do you mean "Bitte Brüsten"?!?

I lived in a WG a few years ago with some Germans and the toilet in the apartment was like the one in the second illustration. When I asked my housemates why on earth it was designed like that, they said that the shelf was the "presentation plate" (can't remember the expression in German) and was for the convenience of examining one's stools, should one be so inclined...

Lay and display?

I call them Flush 'n' Brush

cuz that's what you always have to do.

Do you not get the other types without a 'shelf' in more modern places? maybe they were disigned that way because of the pipes or whatever...
Don't remember anyone I know in Germany having a 'shelved' toilet, but I remember having one at home when I was small.

god what i hate about these toilets is the stink of them. regardless of whether they have been flushed or not there is an overwhelming stench of stale urine that makes me want to gag everytime i am near one.

somebody told me that the toilets are designed that way because the germans eat so much pork that it´s necessary to have it there so they can inspect their poo to see if there are worms moving in it.

yuck yuck yuck.

What a lovely thread.

www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000212.html

:lol

Some great posts on this thread...

I believe, according to evolutionary theory, an idea that is 4% better only has a 2% change of becoming the new dominant/accepted idea. This is why different ideas become dominant in different areas of the world (fragmentation).

In Europe the dominant idea for a toilet became the one that didn't splash, and in the US it became the one that had least cleaning effort/shit for show.

The thing is, once ideas become dominant, it takes a long time before other (better ideas) replace it. This may take even 1000s of years. That's because, as said, if you would design a toilet 10% better than any toilet ever, it would only have a 5% change of actually making it to the dominant new toilet design. Sometimes we revert to worse ideas.

And as it is impossible to invent toilets that are 200% better (100% chance of becoming dominant) - this discussion is quite futile.

OR WOULD YOU RATHER PREFER THE FRENCH TOILET??

[img]http://www.capdagdefrance.co.uk/Pictures/French-turkish-toilets.jpg[/img]

Le poophole-in-the-floor. Now that's retarded!

Oh thanks for reminding me. The "Campsite Special" where you quickly learn not to wear your flip-flops.

That's nothing. Try Japan.

If you're planning to travel to a French village, Turkey, Japan, or most of Africa, you'll want to read this.

woof.

Awww how cute!

The shelf toilet is much more common in Austria. I hate those damn things. One ends up throwing toilet paper on top just to postpone the stench.

I hate the normal steep German toilet because who wants to have to scrub EVERY damn time with the brush! If I would try to scoot forward to hit the water instead of the wall, *something* would hit the front wall of the damn bowl. Grr.

US toilets rock.

Sort of like putting carpeting in British home bathrooms (so nasty) vs tile. There's still people putting it in new-build houses! Became a loyal slipper wearer in the UK, no way I was going barefoot in there.

I hate lay and display toilets. Normally, when natural things happen, you can't smell it. With these things, my god. Need a gas mask or something! Then the whole having to flush half a dozen times. Gah.

I hate the fact too that in Hannover train station, it's more expensive to have a sit down than a quick tinkle in a urinal. I'm growing me a penis.

Yeah, thread-worms one of the more common variety...

Up North (Hamburg & surrounds) I don't see what is claimed to be the "standard German toilet" as in posts #1 & #20.

They all look pretty bog-standard to me (oops).

But I do remember living in Munich (Ottobrun) 40 years ago & being amazed by the shelf-toilets with the high-pressure flush mechanism.

HEM I am not sure if it is really a regional thing. I think my grandmother had a lay and display one (in Munich), so does a friend of mine in Heidelberg. I also had one in my first place in HD. But not in either of the places I've lived with my parents (six toilets, all in/around Munich) nor in my second place in Heidelberg.

Never lived up north but I am pretty sure my relatives there do not have the lay and display kind. I wouldn't bet on it though, cannot say I pay too much attention to these things.

I think it has a lot more to do with the age of the building / toilet than the geographical location.

Worst case scenario: you end up thinking you've caught a VD because you keep catching the end of, well, you know what, on the 'Duftstein' that depite you hangin g it on the side, works its way to the middle with every flush, and the corrosive nature of the freshener block has a caustic effect...

(or so I've heard...)

Well as this is a popular children's book www.hnabooks.com/product/show/6287 - perhaps it's something ingrained. I think it's a general thing that people the world over are obsessed with their bowels. Fart jokes are universal, the French seem to live off of laxatives if their pharmacies are anything to go by. the UK has more types of bog roll than you can poke a shitty stick at and the high priestess of poo - Gillian McKeith

It just manifests itself in different ways in different countries

Ich sitze wie Adolf H. hier
die Braunen Massen unter mir
Bad joke, I know.


My solution: Place sheets of toilet paper to cover the shelf/plate/platform. Go on with your business. Flush clean.

i really don't know how to use this poop shelf thing, can someone explain it is me? i flush and the water hits the poop and splashes out of the bowl. i asked my girlfriend to tell me how i works but she wouldn't take me serious.

Try putting the lid down.

Anyone having lived in Munich for a while (perhaps Germany, I dont know how widespread this epidemic is) will have noticed the unescapable 'ledge toilets' around the place. Whether at work, in bars or in individual homes, these contraptions have been causing me an undue amount of grief as I lie in bed at night... mainly revolving around the question: Whats the point?

For those unfamiliar with these amazing inventions, they consist of a toilet with the flush hole at the front and a ledge the size of the rest of the toilet behind it. An interesting idea I grant you, if looking at the results of your defecatory efforts is a favourite habit of yours. This is not the case for me however and I have only been able to come up with negative aspects to them, namely: hard to flush, need to brush everytime and more porcelain -or whatever they're made of- needed in the manufacture (therefore not more economical to produce).

Someone please tell me that there is a reason for this shape of toilets other than the poo gazing one... please!

Topics merged by admin

Lay and display

that link has way more info than I could have hoped for. Thanks Keydeck!!

My lovely boyfriends often comes out of the toilet with little snips of info he feels he needs to share with me. He has also apparently discovered if you cover the little shelf with paper you eliminate the brushing, and getting stuck. Aint boys wonderful??

My only advice, based on experience gained 10 years ago in Vienna, would be that before pinching off a loaf onto the aforementioned shelf you ensure that the pipes in your building haven't frozen, thus leaving you with no flushing capability.