Top tips for visiting the Oktoberfest

OK, Some people haven´t been before so heres a list of things to do or not.

1. Take enough money to buy twice as many beers as you think you can drink.
2. Don´t take credit cards, driving licence, or other important papers ( you don´t need to carry an ID or passport with you)
3. Try and keep some cash for taxi home.
4. Safe sex doesn´t mean a false name and address!
5. Don´t ride the Big Dipper or other mad maschines after 6 Maß and 2 chicken unless you are wearing a puke bag strapped to your face!
6. Do have your hotel, house or crash address written down and on your person, it´s no fun sleeping on a bench till you sober up.

Please add your suggestions, funny ones count as well.

Girls, don't walk through "the pit" in the hofbräuhaus tent with a bra on that you actually like.

Avoid the so called "Italienisches Wochenende"

#2 Carrying and producing ID on request of the cops is REQUIRED. This has been covered many times before. Now what passes as ID depends on how nice the cops want to be. Offically its Passport only for Foreigners, but you may get away with your countries ID card or Drivers license. If you don't want to carry your passport, then atleast carry a photocopy of the Picture/info page.

No it´s not, you must produce the doc at cop shop within a set time limit. ( But lets not detract from the subject in hand)
But a photo-copy is a good idea.

Don't sleep at the "Pennerhügel" behind HB and Hacker-tent. You are sure to get pickpocketed there while sleeping.

True, for Germans and EU citizens living in Germany, but not so much for Foreigners, or non-EU citizens.

- Echoing sea-king- I keep my emergency cash tucked away somewhere safe but not very accessible...so 1) I don't lose it and 2) I don't spend it. (I could tell you where, but I'd have to kill you)
- If you want a seat in a tent, get there early.
- Avoid pissing off the beer wench. No tip, no more beer for you.
- If you are wearing a dirndl (or skirt), wear rape protection gear. I wore spandex shorts under my dirndl just in case...
- Do not panic if you cannot find the ubahn...you will find one eventually...or worst case scenario you will bump into the after wiesn party at the Hacker Pschor (former Bavaria Bräu) OR a nice man on a motobike who claims he will take you to Hauptbahnhof...but goes in the wrong direction thus prompting you to get off said motorbike at the first stop light you see at taxi stand at (for example)

Girls, don't go anywhere alone. I was, albeit not viciously, attacked last year coming out of the ladies' room. The attacker lived to regret it.

I had no idea that happened to you! Did you yell at him?

I chased him into the men's room with about 30 other Italians watching and laughing their heads off. And called him a f***ing idiot for all to hear.

Generally speaking, don't sleep at the Oktoberfest.

Eating is not cheating.
Pace yourself.
Take a phone card and your most important phone numbers on a business card: do NOT rely on your mobile still having batteries or indeed O2's network
Control pants are a bad idea, seriously. Only pornstars wear a thong under a dirndl (and not for long in the films either).
When asked to vacate a reserved table when you have no reservation, do so quickly and without being a cock about it.
And above all:

Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

If you're using the U-Bahn, get your return ticket before you go drinking:

1. It stops you accidently spending your home journey fare.

2. You don't want to be queing up for a ticket with a load of drunks trying to figure out what ticket you/they need.

Don't rely on using the ATM at the fest ground for your cash, the queue can be huge!

Arrange a time and place to meet your friends somewhere before you get to the grounds. Don't assume you will be able to find people using a mobile phone - they are useless, especially in the tents!

Also, do not take more clothing than you need, as once you take off your jacket and leave on a bench or under a table it can soon get swiped or forgotten at the end of the day.