OK, Some people haven´t been before so heres a list of things to do or not.

1. Take enough money to buy twice as many beers as you think you can drink.
2. Don´t take credit cards, driving licence, or other important papers ( you don´t need to carry an ID or passport with you)
3. Try and keep some cash for taxi home.
4. Safe sex doesn´t mean a false name and address!
5. Don´t ride the Big Dipper or other mad maschines after 6 Maß and 2 chicken unless you are wearing a puke bag strapped to your face!
6. Do have your hotel, house or crash address written down and on your person, it´s no fun sleeping on a bench till you sober up.

Please add your suggestions, funny ones count as well.

Girls, don't walk through "the pit" in the hofbräuhaus tent with a bra on that you actually like.

Avoid the so called "Italienisches Wochenende"

#2 Carrying and producing ID on request of the cops is REQUIRED. This has been covered many times before. Now what passes as ID depends on how nice the cops want to be. Offically its Passport only for Foreigners, but you may get away with your countries ID card or Drivers license. If you don't want to carry your passport, then atleast carry a photocopy of the Picture/info page.

No it´s not, you must produce the doc at cop shop within a set time limit. ( But lets not detract from the subject in hand)
But a photo-copy is a good idea.

Don't sleep at the "Pennerhügel" behind HB and Hacker-tent. You are sure to get pickpocketed there while sleeping.

True, for Germans and EU citizens living in Germany, but not so much for Foreigners, or non-EU citizens.

- Echoing sea-king- I keep my emergency cash tucked away somewhere safe but not very accessible...so 1) I don't lose it and 2) I don't spend it. (I could tell you where, but I'd have to kill you)
- If you want a seat in a tent, get there early.
- Avoid pissing off the beer wench. No tip, no more beer for you.
- If you are wearing a dirndl (or skirt), wear rape protection gear. I wore spandex shorts under my dirndl just in case...
- Do not panic if you cannot find the ubahn...you will find one eventually...or worst case scenario you will bump into the after wiesn party at the Hacker Pschor (former Bavaria Bräu) OR a nice man on a motobike who claims he will take you to Hauptbahnhof...but goes in the wrong direction thus prompting you to get off said motorbike at the first stop light you see at taxi stand at (for example)

Girls, don't go anywhere alone. I was, albeit not viciously, attacked last year coming out of the ladies' room. The attacker lived to regret it.

I had no idea that happened to you! Did you yell at him?

I chased him into the men's room with about 30 other Italians watching and laughing their heads off. And called him a f***ing idiot for all to hear.

Generally speaking, don't sleep at the Oktoberfest.

Eating is not cheating.
Pace yourself.
Take a phone card and your most important phone numbers on a business card: do NOT rely on your mobile still having batteries or indeed O2's network
Control pants are a bad idea, seriously. Only pornstars wear a thong under a dirndl (and not for long in the films either).
When asked to vacate a reserved table when you have no reservation, do so quickly and without being a cock about it.
And above all:
Click to view attachment
Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

If you're using the U-Bahn, get your return ticket before you go drinking:

1. It stops you accidently spending your home journey fare.

2. You don't want to be queing up for a ticket with a load of drunks trying to figure out what ticket you/they need.

Don't rely on using the ATM at the fest ground for your cash, the queue can be huge!

Arrange a time and place to meet your friends somewhere before you get to the grounds. Don't assume you will be able to find people using a mobile phone - they are useless, especially in the tents!

Also, do not take more clothing than you need, as once you take off your jacket and leave on a bench or under a table it can soon get swiped or forgotten at the end of the day.

Great thread idea SK. Should be sticky-ed to the top of the Oktoberfest page.

Wear semi comfortable shoes (particulary if you end up roaming around town for hours in the wee hours of the morning, you need to be able to walk), it gets boiling hot inside the tents, so knee length boots and tights (though stockings ok ) will end up being too stifling.

Ditto to taking more money than you will need and hiding it away...

EDIT: Obviously those fashion tips above are only for men...

Don't argue with the Beerangutan ladies bringing your beer, the ones with the stretch arms and dour demeanours. They will always have security on their side, her word against yours, so if she does her own rounding up, grin and bear it. No matter how sober you are or good your German is or well meaning Bavarian mates backing you up, you'll quickly find yourself hamstrung by some Balkan gorillas and outside the tent. With no beer. Think that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes: "Face it girls - I'm older and I've more insurance".

From my very personal and humble experience: before start drinking, check where the "pissoir" is and calculate approximately how long it takes to get there.

If you are meant to be going to work the next day, do NOT drop into a bar on the way home "for just the one" or a club "just for an hour".

Unless you are going off with a gang of mates somewhere else afterwards, I try and leave as the music stops, around 10:30 ish so you can stagger to the U9 and get on the train before the rush.
Doubly important if you entertain ANY hope of getting a taxi.

after reading all these, does it really worth just for couple beers if you live in munich?

The earlier the better!! And even earlier than that if the weather is crap outside, as the tents fill up quicker.

I, personally, will be attending the first day (as I do every year), and I plan to be at the door of the tent by 8am. (No, that's not a joke.)


Of course, not all women do this. In fact, some women have been known to lose their undergarments during a day at the Wies'n.

it's not just for the beers, it is a great anthropological experience.

Yes of course unless you're some miserable cheapskate bastard who moans every year about the prices and the crowds and the atmosphere like...

Check the Wiesnreport from the Bavarian police, here
very enlightening, very amusing.

If you have to bring house keys with you, safety pin them to the inside of your pocket. I bring just the house key and pin it under my skirt...twice (just in case the first pin opens).

Yep, 8AM on Bräurosl Sunday for me too.

I'd suggest the following:

1) Ladies, don't take a handbag/purse if you can help it. If you do, then take one you won't mind losing and only fill it with the bare essentials. A boyfriend with pockets is often a good alternative to a handbag.
2) don't take any nice jackets or pullovers. These are likely to be lost or nicked. If you are planning to spend the whole time in the tent, then you probably won't need one if you can withstand the weather on the walk from the Ubahn to the tent.
3) Ladies, high heels and sexy boots look fantastic, so don't worry about that you'll be spending a lot of the day on your feet, ignore the pain and look the part
3) don't leave cameras, mobile phones or any other valuables lying on the tables.
4) try and make sure you have plenty of cash before you arrive at the Wiesn, the queues at the cash machines and always a nightmare there.
5) on the first saturday, there is no food or drink available till after the Anstich. Most tents allow you take a picnic in. I'd suggest only taking throw-away containers, plates and cutlery etc, othwerwise prepare to lose anything you take.

If you just drink beer at Oktoberfest and go home when it finishes at 11pm, you are pretty much going to be just fine the next day. If you add any schnapps to the equation or go somewhere after it's over to keep partying, you are very likely to feel pretty crap the next day.

Be prepared for crowds. Big crowds. Lots of people. This still seems to suprise and scare some people.

It will be loud. You won't be having a quiet chat with anyone. You won't hear your mobile phone ring. You likely won't even feel it ring on the vibration setting. So check it regularly for messages and don't bother trying to hear anyone on it. If they need to communicate to you, get them to send a message. If you time it right, your friends and family will be amused to hear you calling from Ofest, but not if it's the middle of the night for them.

Don't take a big expensive or even little and expensive camera unless you have a very good plan of how to look after it. Things quickly go missing from tabletops. Keep it in a pocket that you know it won't fall out of or on a strap around your neck.

Keep out of fights. This means don't start them and if someone else is trying to pick one with you, walk away. A fight gets you kicked out of a tent and really puts a damper on the fun of your evening.

Go with the flow and have fun.

On the subject of mobiles, don't try texting your friends after you've drunk copious amounts of beer, they will keep them and show you what jibberish you wrote at a later date!

if you're going with a group, take a list so that you don't get half way up the a9 to freising in the minibus-taxi before your remember that you've forgotten edwin. oops!

Take condoms.

Ladies, if you are expecting a call or SMS wear your moby in your cleavage so you can feel the vibrating alarm. That's what Dirndls are for.
Guys, be inventive.

If you are standing/dancing on one side of a bench keep an eye out for the other side. If people start falling off/down/forwards/backwards you are going to go as well.

Use your vouchers. Not all tents/breweries redeem them after the Wiesn in their permanent locations.

Ditto some others: After Wies'n parties are a bad bad bad idea - it's possible to drink enough at the Wies'n, and then best to just go home. Too much of a good thing and all that.

If you see people starting to fall, grab your Mass and that of your mates so none of the beer-y lovliness gets spilled.

Plan ordering carefully. If a waitress has some mass going don't put off getting one becasue you still have 2 centimetres at the bottom of your glass.
Could be ages before she gets through the crowd again.

Yeah, MAKE WAY for the Bedienung, you'll get brownie points and there's someone along the way whio is gasping for that beer.

Pace yourself with radlers (beer, radler, beer, radler, radler, beer...)
Bringing a condom is a good idea (it's pretty darn easy to get drunk and happy)
Don't snort snuff from strangers (why on earth would you snort random powder into your nose?)

What about peppermint flavoured snuff?

Gentlemen, if you expect us to wear the sexy heels be prepared for the whining about sore feet and the demanding of foot massages

Sure, no problem! My favourite pastime anyway ( One of them) . Actually you should be whinging about not getting one off me, cos I´m good!

Semi comfortable shoes don´t have to be unsexy! As ER said, just no point being in pain the later stages of the night!

Or staggering just a bit tipsy in stilletos over cobblestones and twisting your ankle.

worst thing you can do imo. at the wiesn, you never know what you step on, you have to able to climb benches up and down etc etc etc. comfortable and you don't mind getting them dirty.

American college frat jocks into high jinx: There's a section for you guys in the Bräurosl on the 1st Sunday.

If you plan to buy souvenirs (especially breakable ones), don't do it on the same day you're going to hit the rides or the beer tents. Make a special trip for shopping only.

Don't pee in a secluded place in the trees, or you might look up to find some weird yugoslavian dude leering at you.

Don't worry about buying a return ticket. They'll never check! Its the Wiesn after all!

Dont take a rucksack containing a digital camera to the Oktoberfest. Leave it safely in the S-Bahn carriage on the way there. You can collect it the next day at the Hauptbahnhof lost property office. I did!

I was, of course, addressing the law abiding readers of this forum.

But I don't remember a thing officer! Where am I?

Remember to pee before taking a long S-Bahn trip home. Six litres can build up quite a head of pressure!
Who was it that was totally busting and finally had to let it all go that time? It ran all the way down the middle of the carriage. He didnt seem to mind having soaking wet trousers though.

six litres?!? after 12 years I'm still a beginner...see you in another 12 years.

If you get there early, and take it steady you can manage 6 litres. It helps if you spill a bit though!

One night, right at the end, wriggly-worm-Stuart asked me where the bogs were. it turned out he hadn't been at all during the evening and had had 6 litres! Where had it all gone? in his legs? He admitted he was bustin'. Crazy scotsman!