Feeling out of place and massively frustrated

I don't like the cigarette butts or dog shit, certainly the graffiti tags on and inside of buildings is depressing but I still don't consider Berlin dirty compared to NYC, Paris, London...there are things I like and don't like here but no big city can be all things to all people, can it? Maybe you should try the Zehlendorf/Lichterfelde area--it's clean and quiet and doesn't feel much like Berlin at all.

I was just trying to stay lighthearted, my sense of humor is something that remains intact, well, if it can be called a sense of humor. But that too, is an opinion or an observation.

Ok, we've all griped about certain aspects of living in Germany. Comes with the territory of living in a foreign country. Especially one where you may not know the language. But if you hate it here so much, why don't you just go home?

What about trying another neighborhood? Spandau is kinda isolated & spiessig .. in my humble opinion.

mom's apple pie.

sometimes to read back, don´t do americans sometimes think that they are always right too?? but then again, not to start a fight. and if you are looking for a perfect place to raise your child, move to asia... :-P

That's the first time I've heard that, but each to their own.

Why is it that whenever I come on here to find out something useful I always end up reading shit like this?

I'd be curious to know what you were looking for that lead you to this thread. Or did you simply like the look of "Feeling out of place and massively frustrated" and thought it might just contain what you were looking for, but after reading through it decided that it was a load of shit?

I pretty much knew it wouldn't contain any info on toddler ballet classes from the start but my topic of choice wasn't really leaping off the boards at me...

Ah, if only you were in Munich.

Really? I've been lead to believe that culture thrived in East Berlin. Maybe they referring to the graffiti, dog shit and broken glass. It's mostly piss artists round here.

Always? Really?

What a difference a couple months makes...

what a waste of time to check out Toytown and read some meaningless complaints about dog shit and not being able to buy asprin at 2am. if you can't appreciate berlin for it's significance and what it has to offer then you're probably just not cut out to be here. and if you are hanging around here just for the money, then man are you ever in the wrong place. realize it's not your country. if you can't handle the graffiti, dog shit on the street, cigarette smoke, germans who are more right than you, bureaucratic inconveniences, lack of american sports, unsatisfactory television and radio programming, cheap beer, and too much vacation time then go back to rochester, where you will find plenty of sympathetic ears there in her antiseptic, clean and crotchless suburbs replete with 7-11s on every corner and big parking lots in front of the local wallyworld for average uninspired fatheads to park their bloated life support systems in. gag me with a loeffel. whiners and wussies go home! berlin is soo sexy!!!

Theres no such thing as a "meaningless complaint" Without them nothing would ever change. You can sit back and enjoy whatever shit life throws at you and call it a rose...fine. Thats your thing. Not mine. If something, or many things piss me off then I like to vent and then I also move on and make the best of it. My family is happy here, it's just me not fitting in. So if I can hold out for a better life for my family right now, then it's worth it. As for Rochester, when did you live there?

complaining can anyone and in many forms, .. suggestions, advice, is what we give. So let live...

Erm, yes, wise words indeed...

When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not, hmm? Hmm.

Bottom line is time is always fleeting life is forever slipping away. You could be worse off.

What good fun to check out TT and read rants and raves like this! Well here`s mine:

I lived in east Berlin for several years and I too had my fill of dog shit, grafitti, skinheads and "neo"-Nazis, whining Obdachslosenzeitungsverkäufer as well as drunks, beggars, accordian players from eastern bloody Europe and other numerous assorted loony tunes and nutcases every bloody day on the U and S Bahn in that city. Not to mention having to tolerate rude "Berliner Schnauze" left right and mitte. And I too would much have Wallymart to Rewe, Aldi, Kaisers. Give me a decent 7-11 anyday to any of that eastern block style "Kiosk" shit with alcos, mad dogs and nutcases hanging around them that Serviceland Deutschland provides.

I feel better now

I like the accordion players...

I like your rant much better, thumbs up!

I feel better now too. (and your rant WAS much better then mine)

You are the ONLY one. Trust me...

Did you not read the part where he expressed his frustration about being a family man in Berlin?

The man is (mostly) frustrated about school systems and the German governments' uncanny ability to stick its nose into seemingly every aspect of the people's lives.

Not about the lack of bars where you can snort a line of coke out of the ass-crack of a 17 year old Thai boy, which is something fairly significant about Berlin, and I'm sure one of the reasons you find the city "soo sexy!!!".

Spot on!

I read this thread with some laughter because of course some of it is true. But hey, I am from San Diego and I can tell you it's not what people might think from a longshot!

I am in Berlin to have my first child and will be taking classes. My husband is back in the states working until mid Oct so if anyone wants to meet for coffee or just chatting about life here vs. US (or wherever you're from) please send me an email. I am in Schoeneberg but can find my way around the city pretty well.

Trish

I'd much rather hear an accordion player than a tuneless old hippie with a guitar.

well when I first moved there it was the early 90s, with the reunification and East Berlin just starting to emerge from the Ice Age of the last 40 odd years. The place seemed bizarre, almost surreal with the drab crumbling buildings, the grey drably dressed people, the lack of any consumer culture, the strange cars on the street and so on. And on top of all this you had to add the general "Ausländerfeindlichkeit" and "neonazi" thing hanging in the air as well as the visible leftovers from the Stasi time - the Arbeitsamt for my area was housed in part of an old Stasi headquarters.

Although on the one hand it was an interesting time to be there, the place also had a mildly sinister ring to it. And I wasnt the only one to think this, a Polish guy, living in West Berlin and working at the same West Berlin company as me said he always used to dread having to transit through East Berlin and East Germany to get back to - Communist Poland, saying with a shudder "es war finster!" (= it was sinister - East Berlin that is).

Plenty of places in Eastern Berlin gave me the creeps back then - Alexanderplatz, both above and below ground - that connecting bit that runs to the Prenzlauer Berg U Bahn with the old GDR shops along it was still intact last time I was there (a few yrs ago), not to mention Ostkreuz - a real grot spot, the streets and alleyways around that S-Bahn junction seemed like something straight out of Dickens London. That Lichtenberg station, especially the underpass to the platforms, as well as charming quarters like Marzahn and Hohenschönhausen... All gives me the willies! Nightmare, nightmare...

They should make a film about it, how about: "Nightmare on Alexanderplatz"...

That`s one reason Im glad to be out of it and over in Western Germany. Ive had enough eastern Europe to last me more than one lifetime!

Hi if you want to meet up im always willing to meet new people :-) and i work in schöneberg

I lived for years in Ocean Beach, San Diego. True, the "endless summer" weather is missing here but the spirit of what I experienced surfing for years under the pier there does not leave me. What I don't miss at all are the bars where some goon sits at the door demanding to see your ID no matter how obviously older than 21 you are. Nor do I miss the "No life east of the 5" attitude (although in some ways it's very true). Nor do I miss the patriotic fervor of the religious right (in America in general), or the hordes of amped-up soldiers who have just hopped off the boats after running roughshod over the middle east (specific to SD).

Diane, I don't do coke and I've never gotten so cozy with anything resembling the ass crack of a 17yo boy here or anywhere else. Your comment is classless and way off base. Too bad you're so bitter. Maybe you should try some other bars. try living further east. The vampires of Prague will feast on your virginal gentility and you'll wake up limp and teary-eyed for want of the annoying accordion players of Berlin.

Outside of TT, most of the people I've met in Berlin are stoked to be here, or at least they are stoked about what they are doing here. Then I go out somewhere and meet some foreigner (surprising to me, often American?), with such negative energy, no clue about why they are here, no enthusiasm, doesn't speak a word of German, etc. and it's like this opaque jerk is just trying to suck it all out of me, as if I'm the fool for being positive. Such terminally jaded people roll in and either transform themselves or wash out again. It's a question of values and ability to live.

Berlin, such a rough and nasty place. Ha!

What a great post! Thanks for highlighting the best of what Germany has to offer.

Seriously though, just about any city or town in any country in the world can pull you down. I left New Zealand years ago and despite what everyone says about how great NZ is.. I don't want to go home, yes its great - I know!! Thank you. I like it here. Its not perfect, not at all but there are always two ways of looking at things, I lived in London for a few years and after getting shot and stabbed (ok ok that was part of my job as a street weapons tester) decided to try somewhere quieter and Germany is just that. You don't really have those problems in Germany. Berlin at its worst - you can still wander around at night in relative safety. There are a million places on Earth you could probably call better, its all a question of what you want. You want a banana plantation and hippie lifestyle then head off to Goa or Sri Lanka. You want the worlds most dangerous, pollutant and overweight society then sure head "home" to the states. Yeah I know I know... you can't bundle a whole nation into one bag and the same applies here.

Yes the bureauacy is on nightmare levels here, but that my friend goes back to 1945 when a system of government was set up in such a way that the system could not theoretically be abused again. Discussed to death - yes maybe. But not more. Sure we all hate the GEZ but somebody had to employ the thousands of out of work Stazi when the wall came down and the GEZ was the perfect cover.

The grass is always greener on the other side..

Please take a better look at the posts and posters' names. Diane was not the author of the comment in question.

My comment was this one:


Thanks Kay, now that I think about it biting people's heads off for no reason is a very 'Berlin' thing to do!

I felt exactly the same way Rick, 100%, I was here the first time around in 1994 and I still have nightmares of those days, being dark skinned just added to my problems, the place has changed a bit but not enough for my liking, some people prefer the olden days, that's what attracts lots of people to this city, THAT history, but some like us just don't see the appeal, give me Paris or London any day! My husband is from the east and he's also glad that those grim GDR days are in past, he is not a fan of East Berlin...

Agreed Berlin has changed enormously since the 90s, most of all eastern Berlin, and i think thats a good thing. Im not saying I didnt enjoy my time in Berlin on the whole, and I dont wish to trash the place wholesale. It has a lot to offer, only most of it isnt in the economics or career area. Its a great place to spend time if youre a student or a 20 year old looking to party for a few years. But beyond that - options are surprisingly limited for what is a capital city of 3 and a half millions in an 80 million sized country. And I find a lot of the attitudes prevailing there amongst some of the locals even now sadly inappropriate for a capital city of that size.

Cookiecutterville?

Sorry Diane for the misquote. "trippdigital"

It's ok

Such is the English language that the word shit can mean a number of different things. I am impressed with the support out there but mostly I end up reading shit like this.

I grew up in the US but English was my second language & culture. I married a German. We live in Berlin. I get really frustrated, too, by a lot of what I have to deal with to live here. But I nevertheles think it's impossible to be an American family living in Germany. You have to be a German family that comes from America. Otherwise it's nothing but misery, and really, nobody needs you to be a hero and suffer through your existance. If you don't like it here, then go home to the US and be a happy family guy who can show his kids by example how to live a full life and get the most out of his surroundings.

[rant] It's definitely an annoying place to live at times, but it seems that so many American ex-pats that I meet are so negative and utterly without humor about every non-American aspect of German society that I wonder what the hell they are doing here. Why bother beating your head against the wall, expecting some romantic Berlin experience that does not exist? It seems that these people are frustrated because they're expecting the world before their feet in any direction to magically Americanize. [/rant]

LOL! I guess the translation of this post is= Ausländer raus.

You can be a happy family anywhere. You don't have "fit" in with some group. What matters is your life is good and you are happy with your own life.

Nah, that's not how I read it. It's more of a call for some people to make an attitude adjustment, I think.

Yes @ Fallen Angel. My point is that you can't live an American life in a German country. You have to go to America to do that. If German life is unpleasant for you, then you should leave because it will never be American enough for you. That's just reality.

This I think is the smartest message in this thread

To the OP, I feel your pain. Although Munich is a clean, beautiful city... I sure miss being able to go to the local store at 2am on a Sunday to get milk for breakfast and maybe pick up a fishing license for $10 because its suppose to be a nice day and I'll take the kids fishing. Brought all my fishing gear over here but have to pass a crazy freakin exam in order to get a license (like $150+), then I have to get another permit to fish in each area, depending on who's jurisdiction the lake falls in. I have to take a day off every couple months just to get shit done 'cause everything is closed by the time I get off work.

I think Americans are so bothered because we come from a place of convenience and we're used to having everything at our fingertips. You come here and its a struggle to do the most basic of things.

Anyway, back to enjoying the wonderful weather in Germany today. Jacket anyone? Umbrella?

L8knight

I know what you mean, I am an avid fisherman and brought a bunch of gear with me as well. Went to a tackle shop to get started and nearly passed out when they went through that long, complicated list of what costly things needs to be done to simply fish.
I also went through the same stuff with my diving gear. TUV wouldn't safety my tanks stating that they didn't understand the safety stamp...every other country in the world recognizes the safety stamps except Germany. Now I need 400 EURO for new tanks!
Is there even a German word for "convenience"?

Fribble - right on.

lots of people come here because they want to specifically live in berlin, and they have their reasons. Many of these people end up loving it and are willing to put up with the lack of convenience. Then there's the others who are here because they have been sent by their job or something else, they seem to be the ones who complain about everything.

I'm still trying to come to terms with his 'reduce tax on petrol' rant.

Absolutely the funniest thing i've read this year. He was joking, yea???

stop moaning and go live in the uk for 5 years...
you´ll soon be back here with your tail between your legs.

At least stuff works here. like transport, doctors, hospitals etc.

I´ve 2 small kids, very little spare cash, and wouldn´t want to be anywhere else.