Feeling out of place and massively frustrated

Go Steve! I love it here, all my German bands play here at some point and no I'm not a 20 year old that wants to party, I'm (nearly) 32.

32

a nipper then.

God I wish I was 32 again...

see me play here, www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzbZDUXhtRQ

4 weeks ago, a week before I moved here

have a nice free day, if you´re not working tomozz

Steve

no free day im working...

Steve what would you know your here four weeks! the guy is here five years.

But to the original poster (forget ur name Scuba), its been nearly two months since your first posting, would you just leave already, ur pessimistic look on life is pissing me off!

The one thing I would agree with though, is Fuck do they think they are great, and its funny cos they are not at all!

Danny, I lived in Germany before for 3 years, so I´m well qualified to answer. I don´t believe I need anyones permission to post a reply here.

But I agree with you, original poster, go home.

I'm from San Francisco so the general dirtiness and raucousness of the city doesn't get to me so much, and I know from various experiences that the bureaucracy here is nothing compared to more eastern countries. However, I'm not trying to raise a family here, so I'm not in a position to judge how difficult that may or may not be. The one thing that seems clear to me is that after five years, there's no "rediscovering Berlin" possible for OP. What was at first annoyance and irritation has compounded over the last five years and there's most likely not gonna be a cathartic moment of Maybe It's Not So Bad After All, and would you even want to have one if you could? Then there won't be this incredible relief when you eventually leave.
What I wonder is, what did you hope to achieve posting here? Just blowing off steam? Actually looking for a way to appreciate Berlin? Needing agreement? I hope that, at least, your kids aren't having as rotten a time as you are. Maybe even if you move back to some prefab suburb in the states, it will have given them a different perspective on the world, so in the future they can appreciate lives other than their own.

I posted here because I thought it was time to wipe off some of the candy coating that some people give this place. Sure someone from the UK (Europe) would love it here, same smoke infested alcohol soaked culture and only 45 minutes away by plane. But those who I meet (including many Germans) seem to have far less nice things to say about Berlin then positive. Of course, those I meet are family oriented folks so not your run-of-the-mill Toytowners.
On Thursday, for example, the finanzamt accidentally froze my account because some beamter was simply too lazy to run some paperwork two floors down. That they can so easily freeze my money is one thing, but to do it accidentally...well what can I say. I know, stay calm and accept it. But maybe I don't want to accept it, there is no reason that I should.
My post has received a lot of response, some strongly disagreeing, some supporting some of what I say. I did apologize at the start because I knew that there are many who would get pissed off. I don't fit in here, that's clear, and I accept the opinions of those that do. But I can't stand the "all is well" attitude when certain realities exist. Maybe my situation is extreme, maybe I just have bad luck here, maybe I'm too sensitive or tight assed, maybe it is just Berlin...I don't know, I just have a very hard time here and had to say something about it. Isn't that what forums are generally about?
Everyones first response is that I should "go home". I would also say the same to someone who whines and bitches as much as I do.
If it were that simple I would, and when the time is right, I will. Until that day I will have to play the role of the masochist and suck it up as best I can.

@ Scuba: It's interesting that you talk about perceptions of Berlin in extremes, only: either it's perfect (in which case it's a candy-coated denial of reality) or else it sucks. In other words, it just sucks, and people who think it's ok don't know what they're talking about. My point was that, in actuality, people who are more or less well-adjusted here generally do see the negative side of life in Berlin/Germany, but they don't waste energy winding themselves up and compounding their misery by comparing it to another city on the other side of the globe. I don't think your situation is extreme, or that you have bad luck, because it isn't really about luck at the end of the day.

Whine and bitch as much as you want, blow off steam, hate the town you're in, who cares. The more you do it, the more I'm glad I don't have your attitude.

@Scubated,

You have your rant. I have said it often in TT if people are allowed to make positive generalisations then other people are allowed to make negative generalisations. As we sit, there will be Germans in London complaining, Spanish in Italy complaining, Brits in Sydney complaining... in fact expats around the world loving it and hating it... So what...it is part of travelling and being an expat.

I had my account blocked also by the financeamt even though they had sent me the wrong bill and I was waiting for the correct one. They were not that one bit bothered... bastards...

I tend to think Berlin is shit - if I had a chance between Berlin or London I take the real thing...real thing metropolitan, cosmopolitan, energic, scruffy city than some Eastern Europe poorer version with less redeeming qualities.

Stanford - an anti-Berliner... and Ranting fan.
The mix of views is what makes up the world non-should be shut down...

"Sure someone from the UK (Europe) would love it here, same smoke infested alcohol soaked culture and only 45 minutes away by plane"

err, but cheaper, safer, better healthcare...

Just go home, and don't be so effing patronising.

Blah de blah de blah.

Absolutely excellent post from the guy and all credit to him.

He knows that established ex-pats will tell him to piss off but still took the time to post his concerns and personal experience.

Maybe just the wrong city my son? try Munich perhaps?

Anyway, good luck.

Move to portsmouth and see why I moved here!

Your wrong there Steve you need my permission, always!! Especially when your going to say stupid things!

Half the reason there is so many posts on this thing is because all places are different. So great you might have lived in Germany for a few years, but not Berlin that’s my point!

Now stop being stupid and enjoy your week!

OK - so I've just come back from Berlin and I'd love to know where this mythical mountain of dog crap is because I walked all over and compared to London the streets were very clean ( that goes for the cigarette butts too and drunks - I'll admit that there is alot of graffiti )
Oh and London is not how you think of it either. I saw a pretty clean city, with transport that worked and a real community spirit - you know people weren't afraid to give their kids freedom for example

It sounds to be as if nowhere in Europe is where you want to be - you are not going to find anywhere that has the North American lifestyle that you so fondly portray. However to alot of Europeans that would be the hell that you think Berlin is - working all hours, no decent healthcare for the poor, half the population obese.

To enjoy living somewhere else you have to embrace the differences - some are good and some might not be so good but that's all part of the experience - and you are lucky to have the chance to live in another country - make the most of it. Oh and for the record it seems that Berlin might be bringing in anti smoking laws

Oh yes and give me Berlin any day - it's a forward thinking city - unlike London where everyone wants to sit on the past and recreated fake victorian buildings and people are the 4th fattest in the world now because they're too bloody lazy to walk anywhere

danny boy

bog off.

And enjoy your week.

I'm at my UK house preparing for removal tomorrow, I just went to the local baker for a bun, high quality produce I can assure you.

Not.

Has brought in anti smoking laws, which will come into effect in 2008. I fear they won't be enforced as strictly as they could be (see any S-Bahn station), but things certainly have got much better over the past couple of years.

(I was in the UK the other week and was very muched impressed with the efficiency that smoking has been banned there).

Shame no one in pubs or bars can be bothered to come outside and clear up the cigarette ends though at the end of the night - I hate having to make my way through a snowdrift of butts on a Saturday or Sunday morning

you non smokers are never bloody happy are you?! LOL

Ex-smoker actually. I'd rather sit in a non smoking section of a bar with smokers over the other side than wade through piles of crap outside. Anyway outside I'm still getting lungfuls of crap from all the traffic because most people here are too idle to get up off their fat arses and walk.

Well I have to agree with you there, much less traffic here than in London at least

I think all you frustrated americans should go home to Roxville, or whatever it was called where the original poster came from. Never been there but it sounds like Lynch's Blue Velvet without Dennis Hopper... Yawnorama...

Suprising how one persons idea of paradise is anothers of hell...

I don't get why people would only ever talk about Münich as a German alternative to Berlin.
I think there are a lot of other beautiful cities different from Berlin. Hamburg or Frankfurt could be good options too..

I've only been a member of TT for a short time but it surprises me that on a site for ex-pats people go for the jugular when someone posts about their "culture shock".

Didn't everyone have a difficult time in the beginning?

When we first moved into out house I was shocked that the place had been stripped bare by the previous tennants. I didn't know that was the way things were done over here. No light fittings, toilet seats, the kitchen contained nothing more that an old and very stained sink. They had taken the keys to the window locks, took out whatever made the shutters electric instead of manual, and (my personal favourite) took the rollerblinds from the attic windows...they couldn't manage to get one of the rollers out so cut the material off and left the roller jammed in there, I could go on... At the time I was gob-smacked but over the years I have come to think of the whole situation as hilarious.

It took a trip home for me to realise how good our life is here.

I didn't have a difficult time, I couldn't wait to get here and when I go visit the UK I cant wait to get back! Of course if we all felt the same we would all be very boring right?
hugs and happiness to you all

I had the unfortunate opportunity to step in dog shit last Friday night in Berlin. So I can relate to how you feel. Imagine this scenario... You're all dressed up and out on the street heading for your party spot when you feel that oh so familiar soft gooshy feeling under your right foot. Not to your surprize, you've stepped in dog shit. Now you're stressed because it took you 45 minutes on the U-Bahn to get to where you are and it's too late to turn back for a fresh pair of foot covers. And you've got a wad of poodle poop flopping around under your foot as you make your way down the streets of Berlin. You're afraid that once you get to where you're going, the stench eminating from the sole of your foot will turn too many heads in the wrong direction. If this sounds like you or sounds like it could, in the future, be you then I have some advice for you, instead of getting frustrated. Now, you've got some options. You can scrape your foot along the ground like some half drunk sailor and hope that by the time you've reached your final destination, the shit would have worn off. Or if it's been raining, you can find yourself a nice shallow puddle for which to bath the sole of your shoe in. Kind of swoosh it back and forth and in circles. If it's in the fall then always walk where the leaves have fallen but be careful that not too many of them stick to the bottom of your shoe because that will give you away. Sand is nice and can be used for it's abrasiveness to wear down the residual crap that exists in between the treads of your sole after scraping your foot along for a couple kilometers, dancing around in puddles, and swashbuckling your way through heaps of fallen leaves. Do not by any means attempt to manually remove the stuff from your foot with a serviette, or paper napkin of any kind especially if it's my hand you intend to shake once you've reached your place of rest. Another tip... wear flat shoes that have shallow treads. See you on the street.

With regards,

Robert

This post is absolutely outrageous! My friend, you are the epitome of the interculturally ignorant and the best thing would be for you to just toss off back to the USA and never leave again. This is exactly the kind of American attitude that makes Europeans want to vomit.
Iain

Because he got shit on his shoe?

Hmmm, i'm a bit confused too. What exactly did he say that was wrong? I thought it was quite amusing actually.

He had the cheek to say that german dog shit should not be removed with a serviette.

The joke went right over your head. Read the original post, then read mine and maybe you will see the humor that I intended.

Robert

Perhaps the joke slipped somewhat due to the 120+ posts between yours and the target of the humour.

Although to clarify, I was referring to Ian's rather than your post. Yours was amusing. Phucknose what his was about.

At least he's considerate enough not to shake a person's hand with the hand he's used to remove dog shit from his shoes. I can really appreciate that.

Lets just get this clear...Americans clearly do not belong in Europe.Stunned and completely lacking in any form of intelligence outside there own little world,there ability in languages is zero and capacity for change is minimal.As for stepping in dog crap...whats yourè problem...uhh its just dog crap...get used to it,and watch where you step.I have been here for 5 years and have never stepped in it.

Yeah, eh, of course, that's right, it's only digested dog food. What's so wrong with that!

Wow. It went way, way over a lot of peoples heads.

someone is going to post about Marmite. ooops.

This far exceeds the limits of my cognitive capacity. Guess where I'm from ?

Unlike your own masterful grasp of the language, naturally.

best part about living in Spain: no one cares where your dog shits, worse part no one cares much about anything.

Berlin must be in another universe becuase in the west outside of the bahnhof, everything was neat and orderly.

BTW where's the "kein hunde klo" signs I see (or saw) everwhere

Since when are UK citizens in the aggregate rivals of the Dutch in foreign language ability?

To be truthful, no!

Gentle Jim: take it down a notch. There are plenty of Americans happily living, working and integrating in Europe

Sunny said it politely, I'll say it directly. You are indeed an ignorant fuckwit.

Um, being kind here, but is there any chance that gentlejim was making a (rather ham-fisted, admittedly) attempt at parodying the occasional anti-American sentiments found on this thread, rather than being an ignorant fuckwit? Jim, state your case.

Toytown, oh Toytown, how have you brought such a community together! A place where you can be misinterpreted, cut down within seconds, and cannot express your thoughts or feelings without someones anal opinion.

I know you people would never talk to eachother faces like this, and I guess that's part of the point, but seriously . . . come on people. Chill out a bit, unwind, and let people have an opinion.

My penny for the day.

How exactly do you know this?

I guess that LJM22 has never been to a TT event here in Munich.

Keydeck, you're bored, right?

There would be ony one way to test that and that would be to get into the real world and talk to people with this kind of dialogue and see what the reactions are.

Just trying to remember what I called Pootle on Saturday night - refresh me Keydeck?

Cock-blocking Welsh cunt if memory serves.

Although there was a lot served, so I'm most likely wrong. Twas a hilarious little moment in time at any rate.