Amusing literal translations

@ MikDickinson: Nutte, not Nutter
You don't want to teach these guys wrong.

Alter Hase = old rabbit. Someone is an "alter Hase" when they are an old hand at something.

I like the German word for a moustache: Schnurrbart

It sounds like it should be a purring beard ( as in der Bart schnurrt wie ein Kätzchen )

I found the word Laufhaus the other day. Never heard it before, but I lead a sheltered life. Horizontal jogging, I suppose.

I´ve noticed people say "Dicker" to animals as an endearment. Fattie?!

It´s not a translation, but a misunderstanding on my part: I have, for ages, heard an ad on the radio in which a man wishes you a good "saff" Abend. I always wondered what that was -- something to do with saufen? But then I actually listened carefully and realized we were being wished a good "surf" abend in the internet.

Laufhaus = brothel link to wikipedia , the 'laufen' part apparently because the punters wander through the corridors of the house, chatting with the prostitutes in their rooms, and perhaps engaging in their services.
Not that I'd know anything about that

I remember laughing out loud when I heard das Zahnfleisch (gums) for the first time. It translates as tooth meat.

auf dem Zahnfleisch robben - to seal (crawl) on tooth meal

Haha, that is one that made me laugh the first time I heard it too!

A friend and I were having a rather frank discussion the other day, and on the subject of... well, male anatomy, he explained the German equivalent phrase of "growers and showers".

"Ja, man nennt das Blutschwanz, oder Fleischschwanz..."

"Yes, one calls that a blood-penis or a meat-penis..."

Oh, and of course the fact Schwanz also just means "tail", has always amused me. There was a time on a school bus when my exchange student was very alarmed to hear someone talking about cutting off his English exchange partner's "tail"... Of course, he was just talking about this boy's rather long hippyish ponytail...!

I like how the German phrase for growers/showers makes just as much sense as the English one, just from another perspective.

Not sure if this is the right place for this one but I was looking to buy some flowers and through interflor I can buy some called womenizer. Interesting idea.

Cheesy I know, but I always liked the adult personal ad "Pferdeschwanz gesucht, Friseur egal."

Looking at websites of instrument making schools, I came across a couple of terms I didn't know, like Handzuginstrumentenmacher. The last two parts are pretty clear: instrument maker, and I knew that Hand means hand, but was pretty certain that "zug" meant train, so I figured I had something wrong, and ought to check it out in my handy-online dictionary, babelfish, and got nothing. So I separated instrumentmacher, which I already knew,from Handzug, and got this: "Pull knob more instrumentenmacher"

not being entirely certain as to what that meant, I decided that I would translate a couple of other words I wasn't too certain on:
"In bundesoffenen Landesfachklassen 3 Jahre a´ 2 x 6 Wochen im Klassenverband mit Orgelbauern "
which came out as "In federalopen national specialized classes 3 years a´ 2 x 6 weeks in the class federation with organ farmers"