Faking it at a party

Right now I am hiding upstairs at my boyfriends birthday because I have had enough of trying to pretend I know what it going on. I have my booze and chocolate so I should be good for a while. Does anyone have any tips on how to act like you fit in when your german sucks and you cleary are not part of the friend group?

These things always just make me homesick as I miss being able to actually talk and know what people are laughing about!

just do a streak through the party

hahaha that would at least get someone to notice I'm there!

It sucks because I'm normally quite a party person.

If you want to attempt to be nice, try the smile and nod technique. Either way, have a few more drinks. Don't bother laughing at their jokes. If anyone asks you why you're not laughing, just look at them and say very dryly, in English, "Because it's not fucking funny." Or you could go downstairs, throw out a very provocative political statement about supporting the war efforts in Iraq or similar, then run back upstairs and barricade yourself in bf's room- with ample supplies of alc and chocolate.

Lol maybe I should mention this is a group of 18-20ish year old who all know each other from school and the like...wa-hoooo.

Does your boyfriend realise you're not enjoying it ???

Yea but I dont want to ruin his birthday so I sent him off downstairs to his friend..ooo theres the doorbell, goodie more german buddies

you could drop some acid in their drinks and then piss yourself laughing at them all hugging the walls and stuff

or just chuck some in mine so at least I won't be bored

ohhh ask him if you could invite a 'couple' of English speaking buddies and then post his address on TT

I'm in Miesbach at his place. Yep party central in this town!

Always also invite some people who will speak English with you. :-)

AHHH I can hear people looking for me! HIDE!!

Yea I tried to bring some buddies but there is an all you can drink party tonight, bit hard to compete with!

that sucks.
hang in there and remember it's his bday it sucks you're not having fun, but it's his day. i know i'd feel bad if i knew my boyfriend wasn't having fun at my bday and consequently my fun would go down with it. he knows you're not liking it, but put in the effort for him since the bday is about him.

what? where?!? all you can drink? why didn't you go?

You could introduce party games. Do you know any dice games? You might be able to win some cash. I find German dominated parties to be extremely, painfully boring. Are they drinking cocktails? Germans always seem to be impressed if you can mix them a mean cocktail. And if they're only 18-ish, they should be able to speak enough English to at least make you feel welcome ffs.

Yea I said I'll be down when they finish the shisha because I don't like smoke. Until then I'm working on getting so drunk I won't care what language they are speaking

Your profile says you are 19 as well. I think you may have more in common with them than you realize. It is easy to feel a little intimidated with a crowd speaking another language. They may be just as intimidated by you...lol Just relax, talk music...be the DJ for a while, talk about where you are from and how much you enjoy Germany (even if you don't)...it will take some time...but you look like you can handle it!!!

see! that's the spirit!
have a competition with yourself seeing how much you can drink before they're done-- you'll be golden by the time you need to go and if you drink so much you want to pass out (or "sleep" as i prefer to call it) then you'll have an excuse to go hide again upstairs without ruining his night or feeling bad for ditching. tomorrow morning you can say it was all done in the name of love.

You should have a little fun with it. Give your man some sexy looks, rub his back, whisper hot suggestions in his ear & anything else that you know that would really turn him on. This should make everyone a little uncomfortable. Just remember, if you can get past tonight you do can be more selective about what & who the two of you hang out with.

Good luck

Many many years ago I got invited to a party and they started various games - one involving tongue-twisters in German. I'd had nothing to drink as I was "taxi driver" & they were most put out when I won...

Go Girl, I used the "I need to get drunk" excuse earlier because of the thunder & lightening ... I think you need it more ... A bit of "Dutch Courage" never did anyone any harm ... and anyway, if they're all about mid-20s they'll speak English (from Baywatch or A team) ... Go on ... Introduce yourself to the non-Shisha-stoned ones and ENJOY !!

i don't have alot in common with this lot as they are ummm..let'S say their idea of a party to me is a quite night. And any attempts at drinking games gets me a stern warning about how much of an alcaholic I am!

This is good advice. I wouldn't make it too obvious to the others- but I think if you get him worked up enough, he might try to get people out of there a bit earlier so you two can enjoy some alone time.

Careful about drinking toooooo much-- the last thing you really want to be known as is "that crazy foreign girl that puked all over the balcony"

grow up, stop faking it, and suck it up! Not what you wanted to hear, but FFS, its one night of his life, its all about you? or is it?
Stop acting like a spoilt child and go down, and learn some german? or are you going to hide the rest of your life?

Oh yea jsut thought I would add it's his parents house. I'm thinking of getting smashed and practicing my german on them

Oh Carm have some sympathy for the poor lonely kiwi would ya! I've met them all before so I have run out of the usual 'hi I'm from New Zealand' stuff. And na can't hide forever I'm running out of chocolate.

how long have you been here? you didn't step off the plane yesterday? oder?

You need to make this a challenge for yourself. Set a goal for yourself- like try to find out three things about each person. You need to make the party interesting. You can't expect them to make it interesting for you because, frankly, they don't sound like they're capable.

Nope over a year. They just drive me mental! Whenever they speak englisgh to me they just speak like it is a joke and I just can't be arsed playing along at the moment. The drinking is working though! Shall venture down again in a bit.

oooo I like that idea from fallenangel. Yea I just went to find some lemon juice at the moment there is about 15 people standing in the kitchen doing nothing.

Anymore ideas of fun things I could try when I make it back down?

You could try to make one person laugh. That sounds like it'd be a good challenge. You could think of one German word that you would need to try to somehow fit into a conversation-- or even a whole sentence. Will try to think of some examples.

okay, how would you feel, if you threw a party, and he went upstairs chatting on some chat forum and wouldn't come down and meet your friends?

I've met hsi friend heaps of times. Not my fault if they won't talk to me.

Here's another challenge- try to keep someone engaged in conversation for a certain amount of time, say 5 minutes or 2 minutes or whatever-- no matter how boring they are. The tricky part is to be sure to ask questions that do not allow for a simple yes/no reply.

not if you hide!

Haha Thanks Fallenangel you definatly cheered me up a bit. Might even go try out some on the dirty german phrases that were translated on the other thread.

OH my, reminds me of the time I was reading an article and I wasn't sure why they used the word "Vogel" when referring to Marilyn Monroe - I was in a (gay) cafe waiting for my bf at the time and just asked the guy at the next table. Man, did that fluster him as he tried to explain what they meant

Exactly, Cabbagefairy. But it will be more fun for you if you try to slip the phrases into conversation and make it sound like you are being completely serious.

Or you could come up with some bullshit random stories to tell people. I was at a German party once and some guy asked me about a scar I have and all I said was, "Knife fight... I don't like to talk about it." and then walked off. He wasn't really sure what to say. It will definitely give you something to laugh about.

Right I'm off to try some of this stuff out now! Godd luck to meeeee!

Good luck!! Let us know if you have any success!

Someone I know used to always say "Ja, ja, genau" although she actually was only understanding half of it. But it kept people talking, thinking it was really interesting.

But you should not be afraid, just go there and say whatever comes out of your mouth, even if it's not perfect or even more or less good german. It gets better with time.

I also found- in the beginning when I had a hard time understanding people- that being honest with them and saying, "I really wish I could talk with everyone more- but I'm still having a hard time understanding everything/expressing myself in German" scores you considerable points and people will make more of an effort to help you out.

I think sometimes if you're just sat there not saying anything, people get the impression you're being a snob or that you're not interested in them- and maybe don't realize you're really just struggling with the language.

That's right. We had a similar discussion a few months ago here in TT. Same setting: someone new to Germany, I believe it was Dresden, and with a German boyfriend. The advise given was on the same lines of what FA just mentioned. Just talk, be honest, say you don't know the language very well, and then keep talking. If you hide, or say nothing, they will think you think you are better/superior and thus don't have to talk to them.

Or get drunk and start everyone playing wii I am the fishing master!!!

meh if you had something like a wii around what were you complaining about. bet you ended up actually having fun didn't you?

Yea it was fun, well it was amusing to watch two of his friends strip off and dance in the kitchen :S

male or female friends?

Did they play darts?

Were they related?

Glad you had fun, cabbagefairy.