I have a phobia of socialising in German

So I've been a loiter and occasional TT poster since Feb when I arrived in Munich... and it's actually starting to get a little depressing. I've been here for half a year and don't really know anybody, my only real friends are the four kids I look after- and trust me, as nice as they are (or sometimes not), there's not much insight into life going on in their tiny brains. My main problem is that it turns out that I'm extremely shy. I never knew this back home because I've never had trouble making conversation. At first I put it down the the language and being in Germany, but now that I have a small understanding of German I'm still completely mute in social situations. Even sometimes when everyone is talking in English. Whats the matter with me? And what can be done about it? I'm getting a little sick of my own company.

I sound like a whinger don't I? Why don't I just go out and meet people? bahhh.

You forgot to mention you like Puppies.

Put down that pretzel and pick up a beer or three!

yeah I know- I only posted because I'm sick to death of my pathetic self tonight. I put it down to the rain.

Oh and BirdBrain- puppies are lovely. I love puppies!

Classic case of alien abduction, I mean whoever heard of a shy Australian, you'll be admiting to a disliking of beer soon?

Get out of the house and get down to some TT event, the Tuesday night lunatic support group is probably the best. Sure they are all mad and nuerotic and covered in hair but you can talk to them and they will talk back. You may not understand most of what is said but after a beer you'll find that even the most obscure of mumblings take on a crispness and relevancy normally only found in Polynesian poetry or the writings of James Joyce when he used to be a software documentation editor.

If nothing else you may wake up the following day with a hangover or you may have met one or two people who could turn out to be great friends and help you change your Munich experience, and I mean that in a totally non disaster type way.

Remember nobody knows you here so you can completely reinvent yourself. Look at me, back home I was an obscure smartarse, but now I'm an obscure central european smartarse. Life can change so much.

Pathetic self? God, you need an infusion of self esteem now. Forget the beer, do shots!

Yes alcohol would be helpful. Time has come to unleash my charm and sophistication on the TT public.

I guess I don't know what your problem is. You are young & blond. What more could you ask for?

A bio-diesel unicycle?

The TT public is standing at attention awaiting your charm and psychosophistication.

Ok- so any advice on which event would be the least confronting to attend?

TT drinks or Curry night are always a good start to get to know some new people. There are alot of events out there. This sunday is another Photography competition. Good luck in coming out of your shell.

try Expats in Silver Hats II @ Hofbräukeller. Just dont tell anyone

Well, I guess the TT orgy night is out.

probably say no to the orgy... possibly the aliens will re claim me if I attend the Expats in Silver Hats.

I will PM you the address to the orgy, but don't be surprised if only one other person shows up.

Glad to see I am not the only one

nothing is "wrong" with you. you are just having a difficult time. happens to the best of us. good thing is that you recognise it and want to change the situation.

Ok- so thanks for all the replies, I feel much loved, and plan on taking the plunge. Hopefully see ya somewhere in the near future. You'll know its me because i'll have this 'agghhh is everyone going to attack me' look on my face.

Practice your war face, see "Full Metal Jacket". It's a lot like TT, except for the helicopters, guns , snipers and the uniforms. Otherwise exactly the same.

Agreed with tbfb, come on down to Expats In Silver Hats, great crowd and very friendly.

sounds like you've found the solution to your phobia in one--or more--forthcoming TT events, but i'm curious about the cause of the phobia. i've often found myself in similar situations and i've been in germany now for 6+ years. language is less of a hurdle, but as you mention, the mute-ness sometimes strikes in english environs as well. funny. i think as foreigners here, we do spend a lot of time in our own heads, in internal conversations, and it becomes difficult to come out of this shell even when surrounded by warm, fuzzy, welcoming english-speakers. i'm sure there's some socio/anthropological explanation for this, whatever that maybe. at least you can take comfort in that you're not alone in feeling this way!

You could try and get an account with MySpace, and use the "Browse" feature (Country: Germany; Postal Code: 5/10/20 miles from 80331, thats the Munich city centre) to find people your age living in Munich - plenty of them there, and the best: you can use the website in English Just look if there are some people you could imagine to hang out with, and write to them in English - they will most likely understand it

You need four to Tango... hmmm oh well...
But to tackle down that social phobia I would sugget you do not start with big TT events but just meet three four people. If you are feeling shy, few people will be less intimidating and you will find you are interacting with them more naturally. Once you regain confidence move forwards, but start small.