Scottish phrasing needed

Hailing all true Scots!
I am sending my niece a teddy bear and I want the card to sound Scottish as the bear's name is Sandy. It should be along the lines of:

Hello, Helena!
I heard that a little girl is looking for a soft, cuddly friend and want to introduce myself. My name is Sandybear, Sara and Andrew chose me to join you, your mother and father on your one month anniversary. I promise to love you within an inch of your life, even when you drool on me.
Yours forever, Sandybear

If someone could please paraphrase that by about noon s/he gets a pint next time we meet. Thank you!

Where does the niece live?

I'm not in the least bit Scottish - but this seemed like great chance to try out the Scottish Translator from the site posted by leeza - see how close it comes to the real thing:

"Awrite, helena!
i heard 'at a lassie is lookin' fur a soft, cuddly mukker an' want tae introduce myself. mah nam is sandybear, sara an' andrew chose me tae join ye, yer maw an' faither oan yer a body month anniversary. Ah tryst tae loove ye within an inch ay yer life, e'en when ye drool oan me.
yoors forever, sandybear"

The problem with that translator is that it mixes up all the dialects. I read the scottish output and I would never say any of it cause it was completely East Coast. Plus it all sounds really harsh, not really what you'd write for a wee girl

A very important question. West coast or east coast, highlands or lowlands. Makes a big difference.

R'ite big guy.

Traunwalchen, it's the bear that is supposed to be Scottish.

And where is the bear from, exactly? It's very important, ya know...

Aye, I ken weel. Tillicoultry, then.

I think we should just go for a Weegie accent. Lots of scope there.

Weegie at it's finest!

Awright troops!

Heard a wee wean's lookin fur a bear, well ta da! Am Sandy, no tae be mistaken fur Shandy, but ah wouldnae mind wan! Sara 'nd Andy pucked me tae hing aboot wae you n yer maw n da fur yur munf burfday. I'll pure luv yea tae an inch eh yur life, even if yea slebber oan mae.
Your furever,

Sandybear.

Genious. I would change the Awright troops to 'A'rite big man' though.

My recommendation would be to go for straight English. If you try for written dialect someone might think you are taking the Michael...

With my little brother? Never!!!
P.S. @ JOB: grand, especially the fur-ever.

Thanks again to you all! JOB and wizadora may dun me for a pint next time we meet.