Dosing a teenager with a suppository - Germany

Can anyone shed any light on a issue that has lead me and my German partner of four years to split up?

My partner, his two children and I went on holiday to Italy 8 weeks ago. His daughters are 11 and nearly 13. The holiday was dreadful, with my partner either letting the girls get away with very immature behaviour or by spoiling them, providing three meals a day, watching over them whilst they ate their boiled noodles and allowing them to demand and get exactly what they wanted and all of them had no regard to my lack of German. I felt like a stranger in hell.

We all got a bit ill, minor stomach upset. My partner asked if I wanted a suppository as he had given the eldest girl (13 yrs) one as she was "seriously ill". She was eating sweets and back to herself that evening. I refused as not too keen on things up my bum.

A few days later the subject of the suppository came up and it seems that he inserted it into his daughters bottom, I was shocked and he knew this but said she asked him to do it as she could not herself?!!! He said I was damaged by my reaction and it was normal in Germany to do such things to children and no big deal. I said surely the girl should have found her own bum at that age and why was it done so secretly and not talked about (until I asked) and why had he not mentioned that this was normal practice to him and his daughters?

I also have a daughter but even at the age of 8 she would have been mortified if her father had attempted to do such a thing.

So we disagreed, he did a private survey on german people, wife, sister and whoever who said it was normal and there was no problem and what was wrong with me. We went to world war 3... he suggesting that I was damaged by my reaction and my telling him that this practice at this age was intolerable and I could not put up with it. The end result is we have not spoken and he totally withdrew the more I questioned him on this cultural difference. So, he was not willing to look at how I felt about this or to discuss if there is something askew with his 13 year old daughter who asked her father to anally insert the suppository.

I would be very interested in opinions and whether I am completely wrong and being an idiot!!!

Without looking at your profile I can guess you are an uptight Brit. Germans are more relaxed about bodies and not as prudish as the Brits and Americans. It is also not abnormal for children not to want to stick things up their own bums.

Do you not think you might have over-reacted a tad?

i like how providing three meals a day is spoiling them or somehow bad to do to one's kids?!!?!?
also, i'm interested in the wife response to you going on holiday with them more than her response to shoving somethign up one of the kids butts.

I'd say there is a problem when someone thinks something like administering medication to a child is sexual. Has something else happened to you to make you assume something innocent like this is inappropriate? Would you allow a male gynecologist to examine your child or is any contact of an adult male with a child deemed inappropriate?

Or is it the fact that the girl is no longer a child? I'm 28 and I wouldn't be able to insert a suppository without assistance (not that it's ever come up).

I'm having a difficult time fully understand this one... the holiday was dreadful because your partner provided three meals a day to his children... and it was dreadful because they spoke German to each other even though you were sat there and expected them to speak English just because you were around? If you've been with this guy for 4 years and obviously knew he had 2 children, perhaps you could seize the opportunity to brush up on your German.

I think, generally speaking, Germans are much more accustomed to medicine administered in suppository form. I don't find that part very strange really. The part about him helping his daughter out... dunno. If she was really sick and needed help, what was he supposed to say? "Oh, come on, you're thirteen already for God's sake. If you haven't figued out how to insert a suppository up your ass by now, you're hopeless." Look on the bright side, he could have asked you to help her.

Thanks for all the replies.. interesting that I am the prudish one??!!
The point here is this girl is hardly a child. If Germans use suppositories as a matter of course then surely they would know how to insert them at quite an early age... different from the Brits as we tend not to stick medicine up our bums unless we are seriously ill and I have asked British people about his and they seem to agree that a father doing this to his daughter of that age is an uncomfortable thought and several people have said that the daughter is maybe young for her age as she asked her father to do it... not something many UK girls would want Daddy to do I think??!!

If she is hardly a girl then she is surely old enough to decide if she wants daddy to shove something up her arse or not!

It was her choice

I have to say that most girls at the age of 13 that i have known would be less than happy about daddy doing that but what else do you do if you need the medicine?

Agreed though that suppositories are a rare form of treatment in the UK.

I agree, I don't think it was right of him to do this, yes the germans have some fetish with suppositories for everything, but heck she is 13! She is a young women, and I won't want my dad putting things in my butt at that age, don't think he even would have.

How else was she to do it if she couldnt do it herself??

Now if he had sat her on his knee for 20 minutes then spanked her a few times, then yes.. I would be a bit shocked

Yes!
Just like the cases in which a little boy hugged his female teacher and the teacher felt sexually molested. The problem lies not with the boy but with the teacher who saw the hug as a sexual gesture! How can you even get that idea with a little boy or girl?! (There was a case like that in the States a while ago.)

I don't think I'd want anyone poking a suppository up my bum... any time or under any circumstances. However, God knows what happened-- maybe she really did feel that horrible that she couldn't manage to do it on her own? I once had a boyfriend get really drunk and high after having just given blood-- it turned very ugly and he ended up passed out on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own vomit. I suppose I should have said, "Eh, you're a big boy, clean this shit up yourself." and walked off-- but he wasn't really in any condition to take care of himself, so I cleaned him up. Maybe the daughter was honestly that ill that she needed help.

Ashlywhatsit-- Over the past 4 years was there ever any behavior that he displayed when interacting with his children that concerned you?

To be fair 13 is hardly a little girl is it? I was having sex at that age ffs

Oh dear I can see I sound like an arse... I didn't mean that the holiday was a nightmare as they needed three meals a day!!! Although it was a nightmare finding time to set the table and rush back home for the next meal and clearing it up and doing it all again a few hours later.. and at appointed regular times, my fault as I should have asked about the girls routines and whether we could change or be flexible around meal times and bed times on holiday.. it seems not and thinking about it in some ways these children are treated like very young children and incapable of doing anything at all for themselves even picking up their dirty clothes so how I expected them to be able to cope with german medicine is crazy..

Just imagine if the father had not been there I would have been wandering the hillside for someone to do the good deed!! i am intrigued to what age this practice goes on, presumably any age is ok then as if Germans have no problem with it then there is no reason to put an age level on when to learn it yourself.. why bother if someone else can stick it up your bum?

I was talking about the hug-thing, the boy there was like 3 or something, maybe even 6, but that is definitely little to me.

I don't think it is that big of a deal if the girl is 13, if she didn't mind (!).