Dosing a teenager with a suppository - Germany

Interesting discussion. I just couldn't help but comment on the play of words about the "end result".

I think there's a big cultural gap that you're dealing with and sounds like some trust issues as well. Maybe dealing with a man with children is just not for you as this kind of relationship can be extremely challenging? From what I've read that you've posted it sounds like it could be more than just the "suppository" that's a problem for you.

Coming from a country where homosexuality was illegal, never having been to an English public school or having a British politician in the family I too was unacustomed to foreign objects being pushed up an arse.

However, after having children here I was taken aback when confronted with my sick child (baby) and suppositories, assuming it would be painful for them. It does seem the norm here in Germany. I currently have a 13 yo daughter and I would never see the day that I would have to administer medicine anywhere else other than the talking end. But maybe its my upbringing...

Thanks, there are lots of issues here I am sure but I remain unsure if german teenagers are happy and relaxed that the parents anally medicate them for minor ill health problems... in fact I reckon most children over 8 or 9 years would dread this invasion and it is a disabling practice that is not necessary in any sense... teenagers should be enabled and families should put boundaries in at some point, I thought it was natural for children to cover up and become independent by this stage of life...
it is very weird... I am sure German and UK teenagers are not so different but this case seems to say they are very disimiliar!

hi Eurolvol

you say family life is not for me!!!

You are right with that family set up!!! No thanks.. l like to enable children, not control them,,,oh no no not nice at all

I thought I read that you said his daughter asked him to do that? Using suppositories is very common here in Germany and if she didn't feel comfortable in doing it for herself, then she asked her dad is what I thought you wrote. Now this is what I can't help but wonder, if she had asked you, if her father wasn't present, would you have done it for her? The second question is, if her mother was there and inserted the suppository would you feel any different about this being done for a teenager?

I also would like to point out we were in Italy... on holiday... a break from routine,,,,,,, so to keep to a strict schedule and not be spontaneous and maybe... swim late at night or eat out ( WE WERE IN ITALY) ,, these girls are 13 and 11 years not new borns... I am not sure bland life has to be family life does it?

I do think the majority of German teenagers would not want that kind of medical assistance from their fathers, but exceptions confirm the rule, right? And she did ask for help as you said. I really would not think that she did it with any intentions besides wanting help with a medical procedure.

And feeling the need to cover up... I don't know, I definitely am not comfortable with running around naked at home, but I do think it is natural if you are (and I do wish sometimes I was more comfortable with it/myself). Actually it would seem more natural to be than not to be, even though it is more common in our society not to be. Feeling the need to cover up has nothing to do with becoming independent in my opinion, and a lot more with insecurity, and what is taught to us from the very start to be normal and appropriate. And those are things that vary from society to society and from family to family.

Three meals a day and regular bedtimes is normal for kids. In Germany, it is also normal for any age kid to walk around naked in saunas and at places to swim in the presence of everyone. You I think are in culture shock. As for the suppository thing, I think you are also being a bit anal.

PS: You don't take a holiday from parenthood and family responsibilities.

Could the underlying problem be you resented the fact you had to share the time you spent on holiday with your boyfriend with those two obviously needy young girls who were vying for their dad's attention just as you were. Furthermore, what I've come to know for sure is you learn the most about people when you travel with them. So could it be you saw the closeness of him and his daughters and felt some resentment? Surely, your issue is really not about a damn suppository, is it?

Turning this inside out, I think there may have been the slightest feeling of displacement when you had to experience a developing "woman" getting the attention of your mate of four years in and around her privates.

When's the last time he gave you an orgasm?

Now that's asking for way too much information . So you're suggesting that maybe she resented her boyfriend being this close to his daughter and felt sheer jealousy?

Yes Lavender Rain My ex partner told me ( after I complained ) that his daughter asked him to do it as she couldn't,, he told her she must
have the suppository,, I think she had no choice,,,,as she probably thought his diagnosis was correct and she was " seriously ill".. cannot think why he would be so negative over such a quick short half day of nausea but then if the car window is open despite 25 degrees he gets a bad neck from the "draught" so seems illness is looked on somewhat differently too. I though it was funny and wimpy ok until this episode!!
I also would have thought it bizzare if the mother had done it as I would have wondered why the mother did not show the girl how to insert the thing.. surely a mother would say.. now your older you need to do it as you are a big girl now !!
I am unsure if the mother does it,, I think the younger child does it herself so it appears this behaviour is not equal across the family and he certainly does not do this to the elder girl of 21 years.. he argues that this daughter is more needy and requires more attention and she has some behaviour difficulties but i think this does not help her and she is in puberty and a father should back off at this stage to protect the growing child and to set clear boundaries for the future.

I spoke with a English doctor and he would not do this to his children unless it was extemely necessary... he thought the girl should not have received this suppository for being slightly under the weather for a morning,,, it should have been left for a day to naturally sort itself out, his wife and children are not dealt with by him and the subject should have been open and my ex partner should have told me what was going to happen in front of his daughter.,he believes if it was natural and no big deal it should not be a secret at the time but open discussion and made light of... it would have seemed more relaxed if ex had verbalised his intentions prior to doing it,

I know we are english and anal or obviously not anal!! Maybe teenagers just are not bothered who does what to them,, or fathers just are not bothered what they do to their children as they believe it is for their best intentions?

Maybe they did not keep it as a big secret from you, just did not find it important enough to mention it to you? Why does he need to verbalize his intentions to you prior to doing it?

I am not English and you don't have kids do you?

Ok, let me make sure I understand what you're saying. So are you saying you expected your boyfriend to present himself and his daughter to you and discuss the fact that he was going to administer the suppository for his daughter and elicit your support or approval prior to administering it?