Madeleine McCann jokes

This is just shocking... shockingly entertaining. After all, if you can't laugh at other people's misfortune, what can you do? It's the English way.

Most of the Maddie jokes I've heard are recycled, but I like your limerick. There's something about that five line rhyming prose that can make anything entertaining, even filicide / gross negligence / whatever you want to believe. OK, I'll give it a shot:

There once was a girl from UK
She had such a terrible day
Over-sedated
Then heavily weighted
And sent for a swim in the bay

Damn, I'm going straight to hell. But at least then I'll finally be able to meet the McCanns.

By the way, if anyone is unclear on the definition of "filicide", just look it up on Google:

Comic Booed for Madeline & Rhys joke.

And the joke was -


Which I think is pretty mild compared to some of the stuff written in this thread.

All it takes is a few Daily Mail readers in the audience and jokes like that won't be appreciated...

What are Daily Mail readers doing in a comedy club anyway? Shouldn't they be at home watching Bruce Forsyth?

Depends which night STB - Tuesdays they're mostly out wearing pillow cases on their heads burning shit down.

Haggis Junior is reading the 7th Harry Potter book and just sent me an SMS:
"Maddy ... uh, Moody dead."

I find it hard to believe there are jokes regarding this girl who is missing.
If it was YOUR child, I think this thread will be very painful.

I guess the parents of Maddie will not read this, but then again ...
I find it sick! ( as one who HAS a child).

you're new here aren't you dino

By the by, I hear Jose Mourinho wants to go back to Portugal and never be seen in the UK again. The McCanns have aparrently offered to help.

As pointed out by HellesAngel. This is hilarious.

More.

First it's the supermarkets and now it's the German press. You've not noticed a goosestep slipping in when you walk to the Ubahn have you?

Now that is hilarious. The Sun complaining about the bad taste journalism of other publications.

Its only cos they didnt think of it first.

How about a remake...

or...

These are so sick I am have stich from Laughing

I Agree, the thread is funny but the jokes are sick. Doubt if editor Bob was in the McCann's positon would sit find this funny either, or any other person who thinks that the jokes are funny. But you'll never know some people are sick and sad. Over to you Bob!!!

toytowngermany/sickjokesforsickminds.com

and who cares?

Small minded, in my opinion.

Is it just me???

Via email:


Dear Shona, please note that you spelt "Madeleine" incorrectly. If find it utterly disrespectful of the family that you can't even get her name right.

Second email sent a few minutes later:


Dear Shona, you're still spelling "Madeleine" incorrectly. As for registering on the forum, if you're too stupid to be able to get through the automated validation procedure then I'm afraid your opinion on anything in this world doesn't really count for much. Also note, this website is neither operated nor populated by Germans.

Please can you all stop making jokes at this little girls expense - it is surely a sad thing when a beautiful little girl is taken from her loved ones and people make a joke out of it... I don't find them funny - just sad. :-(

If you dont like them, dont look!

Its that easy!

I don't gain any particular pleasure from watching videos of people urinating or defecating on each other, so if I see a link that says "Weird German fetish involving natural bodily functions", then I just ignore it. What I don't do is click on the link and then reprimand everybody for enjoying something that I don't myself appreciate.

Whether this kid is ever found or not makes extremely little difference to my life. Given that tens of millions of kids die each year from hunger and disease, she is not going to make much of an impact on the population statistics one way or the other. However, the world would definitely be a better place without the condescending, holier-than-thou attitudes of – mostly religious – humourless hypocrites.

I also don't think these jokes negate the fact that it is indeed a sad thing when anybody - beautiful or not - is taken from their loved ones. It's perfectly possible to see humour in tragic situations (yes, the human psyche is THAT sophisticated) and the media circus and exaggerated sentimentality surrounding this one certainly invite it.

One should search for another target for humour.

Tiggi, are you suggesting that if she was ugly we'd never have heard about her? Surely not!!

Kyle.Dürr: Thanks for volunteering!

Why? Its sad what has happened, but lets face the facts the girl is worm food at this moment in time. The parents should get on with grieving and let us all move on to making jokes about something more contemporary. You're not German by any chance?

@STB, I think we should leave it to AJH to clarify whether it would be equally sad and distasteful to make jokes about any of the other estimated 100-180,000 children who go missing in the UK alone each year. Although I expect s/he has probably moved on already and is now busy policing other sites on their behalf, of course, rather than being in any way fixated on this one, media-friendly case.

Yes, someone from Ireland, joined today (Shona, methinks) to tell us all off. She must have searched for a of a long time to find this, as she sure as hell didn't just stumble on it.

Ever considered a career with the Portuguese police force?

They turned me down - overqualified, apparently.

lawl my mate was saying these all last week n the weeks before xD

classic as fuck and i'm british.

Post some more please

i havent heard a good joke or seen a good horror film in ages.

I want my humor

From web viral 'Popbitch'

"The current trend in news journalism is to
let the viewers do the work. But the rise of
photos and videos from amateur mobile phone
cameramen is not without peril, thank God.
One 24 hour news network didn't spot that
someone was sending them in photos of the
London Olympic torch procession and photo-
shopping images of Maddie McCann into the
crowd. Oops."

Thought this would be better placed in the joke thread.

Portugese Police have just issued the following statement, read out by Cliff Richard.

Maddie doesn't live here anymore,
Maddie had a room on the second floor,
Maddie hasn't left no forwarding address,
It's a mystery?

There is one thing I cannot understand about this topic.

Everyone has spent the last 14 pages talking about how raping and killing a child is no joke, and not even funny. But unless someone knows something the police don't know I think you'll find she's neither been raped or killed, because if she had then it would have been all over the news by now.

Everyone makes jokes about death, it's a way of life nowadays thanks to modern society, and it doesn't matter what age they are!

I could say:

Q: When Gene Pitney died his family was told that his coffin would take 2 weeks made from Mahogany
A: But only 24 Hours from Balsa

The title of this topic was: Madeline Mccann Jokes, which means that either most of the people posting here cannot read or they are very stupid. If you do not agree with this topic then go onto something else. It's Simple!

Perhaps she has been raped and killed and they haven't found the body?

As you are new to Toytown I will let you read the many, many forum topics to find out that trying to keep a topic here in topic is much like trying to to find a intelligent cabinet member.

@m-s
Did you join Toytown Germany for the express purpose of posting an unfunny joke or do you actually have something worthwile to contribute to this community?

Q.: How do you call pills to drug little kiddies?
A.: MADDIEcament.

By the way: the McCanns relaunched the new photo for researching Madeleine:

There are some sad sad Bastards about,
there is nothing at all that is "funny" about this poor kids fate.
Why this shit is still to be seen here on TT is a complete mystery to me? The Topic should have been dropped long ago!

Your 1 post contribution to this forum is astonishing, you sick sick individual. You cant even get the English right.

Well, it' s not the child' s fate which is the subject of these jokes, but the curious behaviour of its parents. Or do you really believe, that a computer animated picture which is based mainly on wishful thinking, supposings and specs would be a right medium to find a little girl which disappeared two years ago? In fact, all efforts of the McCanns "to find Maddie" seems to be a camouflage to draw off the attention of themselves being suspects in this case. Or do you consider the fact as normal, that parents will leave their children back drugged in a hotel room in a foreign country without any babysitting person while they had the intention to spend a nice evening with their friends?

Drugged? Any proof? Hope you're rich enough to fund your defence in any possible libel action!

I second Godber's comment. This topic is in the WORST POSSIBLE TASTE and should be removed. What of compassion?

Absolutely agreed. The jokes/comments on this thread are really off the board. This is not an amusing subject.

Well, in fact, that' s good old British sense of humour. So don' t fuss.

Possible titles for the Maddie documentary coming out:

-Gone in 60 Minutes While We Were Having Lunch.
-The Never Ending News Story.
-Catch Me If You McCann.
-Live Freely on Charity Donations Or Another Toddler Will Have To Die Hard.
-Dude, Where's Our 'Cann?
-Everyone Knows What You Did Last Summer.
-Murat: Child kidnappings of Portugal for make benefit glorious tabloid of United Kingdom.
-The Ring

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What's Maddie McCann doing for Christmas?

Decomposing.

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A quick tip for the McCann's, who have spent a million looking for Maddie:

Retrace your footsteps - it works for me when I can't find something I've hidden.

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Have you heard the latest one about Maddie McCann?

Neither has she...

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I know they say that scottish people are tight with their money but you have to hand it
to Gerry McCann, he took it to a whole new level:

1: Saved €10 by not getting a babysitter
2: Received over £1 million to "search" for Maddie
3: Got out of having to pay for a funeral

The rest of ye Scottish have a lot to learn!

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What do Maddie McCann and Elvis have in common?

We all know they're dead, but there are a few nutters who still claim to have seen them.

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I think I've solved the little trick or treat problem with a simple poster on the front door.

A picture of Maddie McCann with the sentence...

'This is the picture of the last person who thought they would try trick or treating here'

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Lisa Stansfield is rereleasing one of her classic songs for Maddie McCann as a request
by her parents:

Been around the world and I, I, I, I can't find my baby.

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Well i'm glad that someone's finally trying to beat Osama Bin Laden at hide-and-seek.

You have my full support, Maddie McCann!

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Did anyone see that computer-aged photo of Maddie McCann where they've updated the
picture two years on to show what she's looking like now? Bit Optimistic I think, I didn't see
one bit of decay on her. Therefore the killer must be an imbalmer!

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Thats what this site needs a German guy telling Brits whats Funny?
I tell you what matey(herve64) ,there is a fucking big difference between humour and just trying to shock people by being as obnoxious as possible! Thats what school kids do to impress each other,it's pretty sad when so called adults have to resort to this kind of crap to gain a bit of notoriety.
It's not Funny, it's not good old British Humour, it's disgusting.
I'll give you a tip pal,don't be led on by the few dickheads who have contributed to this marathon of "Good Old British Humour" as you like to call it,
because I can tell you now,they are a very small infantile group of Heroes.

What makes you the authority on what is and isn't funny?