U-Bahn Emergency Buttons - Ever pushed one?

Job offer: U-Bahn Driver Wanted
Sole essential qualification: must be a miserable fcuking bastard

Was on the 16:14 U4/5 pulling out of Karlsplatz yesterday evening. Some drunken old fool boards the train but isn't quite quick enough. Gets himself stuck in the doors. Remembering what I read in the papers 4 weeks ago about how you have 9 seconds from the moment you get trapped to the moment you are accelerated into the wall at the end of the platform and have your limbs torn clean from your body, I quickly pressed the emergency button.

Doors opened again and the old boy thanks me for possibly saving his life.

Fcuking bullsh1t traindriving c*nt comes over the tannoy, "yeah and so why did you push the emergency button when there was no emergency?" in that sarcastic Bavarian tone of voice that they do.

Well, duh! Because it may not have been an emergency at that very moment but 9 seconds later it could well have been!

C*ntz!

What do I care if someone submits themselves for the Darwin awards? I don't! But I'm not gonna allow my inaction to be held responsible for their death!

A cleaned up version of this msg has been e-mailed to the SWM. Any response will be posted.

In the meantime, anyone else ever pressed the emergency button (Notruf)?

You forgot to add - must sound completely pissed when saying 'Bitte Zürruck Bleiben'

Well played there though.

No, but I know someone who likes to pull the emergency stop levers on the escalators...

nope, but you did the right thing. Definitely.

Not a particularly interesting reply. No need to translate is there? Everyone should learn German anyway.


"Wir freuen uns, wenn wir Sie auch weiterhin zu unseren Fahrgästen zählen dürfen."

Like as if anyone has any choice. "Which Munich U-Bahn network shall I used today? Oh, I know, I think I'll use the MVV. They have a good reputation for safety".

good job old chap! you saved the mans life! they didn't fine you did they?
hey, at least they wrote a nice reply and pretty quick too. my hero!

Had you been anywhere else in the world, you would have been awarded some kind of bravery award, with television appearance or something. I got stuck in the doors before, and it's certainly not a pleasant feeling after reading the article of the poor man who was chopped a month ago.

Nice going!

I was on the U Bahn once when a guy on crutches fell in front of me whilst climbing aboard.

His crutch slipped down between the train and the platform. I was behind him and grabbed him under each armpit before he hit the floor.

But he never looked back at me. I think he was drunk.

You never know, you may get one of those "Cavalier d_ Strasse" awards. Wife got one last year for saving a little old lady at a bus-stop, but that was with CPR and all.

>> "Wir freuen uns, wenn wir Sie auch weiterhin zu unseren Fahrgästen zählen dürfen."

Well, it's better than having them write "Owned."

Last April, a number of us were down skiing in Garmisch for the day. Apres ski, we decided to have one too many pitchers of margaritas at Sausalitos b/f catching the ride back.

We hopped on the 9pm train: me, my coworker, and this Russian guy we met up with. My wife and the wife of Russian guy's boss (still with me?) stayed right outside for a last minute smoke.

Well, the train out there didn't give a "Bitte zuerruck bleiben" or notification that it was time to go. The door just shuts and off the train goes.

Quick thinking Russian guy grabs the e-brake and the train stops. Right as he starts to pull it, this German woman freaks out and screams "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

The train stops, the girls get aboard and the German be-yatch starts screaming at us. Once she learns the Russian guy speaks the Deutsch they end up having a furious battle. She kept crying that she's been at work all day and now she'll be late going home.

The conductor/train driver/whomever comes back to find out what's up. German lady totally rats us out and starts pointing fingers. The Russian guy smoothly says, "I dunno what she's talking about, one of the girls had her hair caught in the door."

Eventually we get under way until about 5 stops later I see the cops on one of the platforms! Three of them storm in and start giving everyone grief. The Russian guys tells the cops the same story while they're glaring at him but they let us go. The scary part is that the Russian guy is here under shady circumstances with a doctored passport.

And the German b*tch? She got off 3 stops after we left Garmisch!

It was totally our fault the girls missed the train but there was no reason why the German woman had to be such a tw*t.

Anyhoo, nice work possibly saving the guy's life Herr Warner.

I cannot believe you managed to extract an *APOLOGY* from a *GERMAN* !!!

well done on all accounts!