Literature in the throne room

OK, so, apropos nothing, i just visited the little boys room and noticed my book laying by the bath.

So, what's your favourite bog time reading? Do the ladies go off to the loo clutching the latest copy of Hello or OK magazine? Do the blokes head there with the Sunday paper? ( I do )

So come on, what's the TT answer to rustling papers in the traps at work?

By the way, it seems to be a tradition not observed in German loos, why not?

oh god, don't have time to read, get in, get it out, clean up, flush, wash hands, use room spray. No time for the daily news.

I like to read a copy of The Economist when I'm in the little room.

Here's something interesting: A Treatise On Toilet Reading; and Books in the Bog.

This is something I've never understood... why on earth would you want to linger there reading? There are so many nicer places for it! Loads of people do it though, so I guess I'm missing something?!

Gotta read on the throne. Tis the best place for it. Currently alternating between Maxim and Sun Tzu's "The Art Of War". Both quality bog time reading.

But why? What makes it so special? I just don't get it.

I think we have an IKEA catalogue in our bathroom.

Tiggi- maybe its just a male thing?

I usually daydream I am a B-17 bomber pilot. Thank god there is no co-pilot.

That could be an interesting theory.

I can't really answer for others, but in my house- the only room where you have any chance of getting some peace and quiet is in the bathroom. So sometimes it just nice to lock yourself in there for awhile and mindlessly thumb through a magazine, etc.

Nah, I've lived with women who've done it. One even took cups of coffee in there with her! Still don't understand it though, never have.

Tiggi, you're not supposed to understand, you just need to accept it.

* mental note: do not get coffee with Tiggis friends...

yeah, soaking in the tub is relaxing, but, having a dump that takes time to read a chapter of a book is just too, well, bizarre. But then again, I grew up in a farm house with no plumbing so, you wanted to get in and out of there fast.

I have to agree. I don't really like to dawdle in there. Then again, I have been known, on occasion, to pick up whatever toiletries are lying within reach to read labels when I'm in a little longer than expected... But never enough time to read a book...

I don't get it either. I never do it but recently I thought i'd see what it's all about so started taking a book or sommat in there with me.

Sit down, open the book, start reading... *splash*, done. Do I just sit there having finished my deed and just keep reading?

It always feels too weird so I just finish up and leave.

Maybe its cos I grew up with no heating or insulation or windows that keep the draft out. You get in and out as quick as you can for fear of things going numb/falling off. It's what you are used to I guess.

Thats nowt..Thats Bloody luxury!

We had had to walk 3 weeks to me grandmas to use her toilet, carrying a bucket of water to flush with after and they only had Izal Medicated Paper!!

Softies

Tom17 we only had a plank wi a hole in it.Nowadays its a luxury to have a door wi a lock on it face of pressure realese

It's not just a male thing, Tiggi. Has a bit to do with the knowledge that you're alone and undisturbed, and something to do with getting into the right frame of mind for a successful achievement - distracting the head end with pleasurable reading matter so that the other end can get on with things undisturbed. (I'd say "going with the flow", but ... I won't.) There are also lots of books/mags that are too trashy to read properly (and too embarrassing to be seen to be reading), but which have that combination of trivia and entertainment that makes them great for visitations (e.g. Viz, trashy whodunnits, Ireland's Own magazine).
Would draw the line at coffee, though, although there was a character in a Beckett novel who took a coffee laced with brandy into the smallest room with her.

I read what she reads!

You had a whole toilet? You lucky bastard! When I were a lad we used to have to dig a hole int' ground...

_{Cue Yorkshiremen sketch}

I like to peruse that leftie, pinkie, commie magazine the New Zealand Listener

Biker porn and the Economist, leavened with the odd perusal of whatever book I'm reading.

Now that is sick, considering the role your olifactory sense plays when imbibing nourishment.

I have the extensive volume "Just The Words" by Monty Python in the upstairs toilet where I tend to spend more time, the downstairs toilet housed a collection of limericks for a while and now features a guide book of Nuremberg. Toilet time is the only time I can count on spending on my own (unless one or two of the pervy cats slip/s in before I lock the door) and I enjoy it to the full (regarding reading, no other context).

I ALWAYS read something on the throne, but normally its via web browser. I take coffee to the bog, smoke reefers there, play guitar, read stuff - its a brilliant place. I' ve said it before, but I even sit whilst pissing when I am home, so I can enjoy some extra sitting-down stuff. I prefer to shit at home of course, but I get paid to be in the office, so of late, I've been shitting there aot. I generally read the BBC sports news.
At home, I can sometimes crouch on the crapper for so long that I loose all feeling in my legs. Bloody great to sit on the thomas.


Wash your hands??? You posh poncy flash tart. Jesus H on a donkey, are you so lame at wiping your own arse that you "miss" with the paper, and get poo smeared all up your arm? If anything, my hands are dirtier before I let one loose. You need to get yourself to the countryside where you have to touch horses and stuff, and you are constantly covered in grime.

Why read in the loo when you can play mini golf? From the people who brought you the Gentlemen's Ball Scratcher now present the Potty Putter:




Dang! I gotta get me one of them!

Has no one ever heard of 'Uncle John's Bathroom Reader'?? It is designed for toilet reading...short stories, one liner scraps of useless information, and towards the back of the book...the longer stories for those pluggeed up days...

Jesus, you women and your completely rubbish bowels. Blokes* never have this "plugged up" problem. Personally? I could shit to order. It is really, really, easy. Man, sometimes I'll take a shit just because I am a bit bored and fancy something to do. Bloody women.
"oooh, I really need a shit, but there's nothing coming through" - what??! If there is no shit coming out, then clearly you do not actually need a shit. You are all rubbish at shit.

*As in proper blokes, that drink loads of beer, and eat all proper food like. Just thought I'd add that, in case some faggot fucking vegan teetotal tosspot 'bloke' wanted to reply with a "hmmm, akshoooooally, I am a man, and I only do a really tiny, hard, 2 cm long compacted poo once a month. Normally when the moon ís full". FAAAAAAA...GOOOOT.