My German boyfriend hasn't told me "I love you"

all Germans are engineers - they all ought to be anyway

there are no cheap flights to Mauritius...either Emirates, British Airways, Air France or the cheapest Lufthansa/condor!!

I will be in Germany in May, but right now in MAuritius

Personal experience Honest to boot, but not so elaborate on the emotional side

Heh, mine is too...or at least his degree is...funny.

I stand by my comment, it doesnt have to be a single flight, pick locations that are in the middle and you can both afford, if neither of you can make an effort at this stage...then i think you should change you title to will this relationship survive

I live in the US and my boyfriend is Bavarian. (and yes! the long distance thing is really really hard)

My boyfriend told me that he loves me fairly early on, and then stopped saying it. That bothered me and I asked him what was up. He explained to me that he feels (and many of his German friends feel) that we Americans say "I love you" too often and it loses it's meaning. "Ich lieb dich" holds a lot more meaning for him, so I know when he says it in German it really means something even deeper. Now he tell me that he loves me a lot because he knows that I like to hear it, (and I know that he means it) but if your bf is anything like mine, he takes those words seriously. Maybe your guy really understands the importance of those words, and is making sure that he really means it when he says it.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

not everybody has super job flexibility or cash flow to do that either. Germany to Mauritsius (sp?) is not a 1.5 hour flight like back to the UK.

Gotta agree with that. I'm in the opposite situation; My girlfriend is in Bavaria and I live in Florida (although in Munich very often these days). Can't give you any advice about the initial 'I love you's but something I've found to be very important when you don't see each other all the time and have to communicate via sms, im, etc; is that it's very important to make a point of telling your mate about your feelings much more often and more directly than you might do in person. W/o seeing each other you don't have all the little visual clues that tell you where your partner's head and heart are at. The distance also messes w/ your head and creates insecurities that probably wouldn't be there otherwise, so the direct reassurances make a big difference.

Possible explanation: He doesn't love you.

Date American men! I love everything except yams. Absolute rubbish yams! And yes, I have tried yams as well as rubbish and they are absolutely the same.

Does remind me of the book I read probably 35 years too late "He's just not into you" - apparently women over 30 read it and go "aha!" and women under 30 are still in denial...

BD, you didn't know? Today is the official "Imabitch about my boyyyyyfriend today" day.

BD, lifeisabuffet- i thought every day was fair game to be annoyed with one's boyfriend/relationship/lack of either/ etc etc etc

Well Mouse I am also unloved, I feel you.

you feel for her? or you feel her...?

Perdido, you're not unloved. if you are come visit me in Milwaukee (where the unloved go to die)

nah, that is Saskatchewan!

Ohh sweetie, but a lot of people from TT like you. If it makes you happy, here: "I muw you"

hmm... perhaps it's becuase half the time when i read Saskatchewan it comes out as Sasquatch.

but anyway.
why don't you talk to him about it if it's bugging you so much? perhaps he doesn't feel the same way as you do, perhaps he's scared of his feelings, or perhaps many things...

Maybe he's getting enough where he is ....

I think she should dump him and start dating a new guy.

hook her up with Perdido?

What are you insinuating Bluedave, enough umm... exercise/entertainment?

Maybe she should dump him, but not for a new guy. She should ditch the relationship if it doesn't meet her needs, but not just to replace him with a new guy.

Horizontal jogging?

way to be supportive and not freak her out more! that's prob the last thing a girl in a long distance relationship wants to hear!

Hmm, now, if she hooks up with Perdido, her love life will become really colorful...

Sorry mere, trying to be realistic/objective

Whenever I consulted a male buddies for love affairs, they always gave me realistic/objective advice. I guess guys know what other guys are up to.

no need to apologize, i was just saying it's not what a girl wants to hear. it could be true. i know of situations where it has been true.

objectivity is good.
okay 5 min and i can get out of here (i feel bad though from lunch on i haven't really worked) ciao!

But seriously, a guy has to show that he loves you and not only "say" that he loves you. Think about it. Is this really what you want? Is this relationship making you happy? If the answer is no to both questions, it's about time you move on. Trust me, there are many more great guys on this planet besides your boyfriend.

Seriously, what is the point in asking a bunch of strangers whether your boyfriend loves you? It's not even like the majority of us are german either. You haven't told him you love him either. Here's a revolutionary idea - talk to him.

You...
are...
a
great...
catch...

Generally speaking long distance relationships are hardly ever easy. They take great amounts of energy to keep the fires burning, and the wheels turning. Communication is the biggest, and most important factor. Without it various problems ensue. You start to feel like you are no longer a part of their life. Often without any reassurance that things are still the way they were when you were together, insecurities become greater. When the phone calls begin to subside, you start to wonder what could they possibly be doing that they can't call you. Could it possibly be that they found someone else? Questions like these start to race through your mind, and a great deal of anxiety sets in. It's at times like these when you really have no clue as to what is going on, that communication is necessary. You must express how you feel, ask them what's going on, where the two of you stand. Sometimes, when you do this it makes the relationship better. On a personal level I have found that long distance relationships have worked well for me. Actually when my wife and I were a couple I found that the further apart and the longer apart we were the better I felt.

Dear all, during the tensive discussion, We just found more important info:There’re many people feel unloved, and they plan to move to Milwaukee and die there together; and some people use their personal experience to prove the great rule again ‘long-distance relaionship is difficult’ and some people affirm it works; and also there is a big discovery of that men’s memory is surprisely better than women’s.See this:
; and we human being is very creative, now one of option we human being suggest is ‘dump the bf’ before Ms.Mouse figure out if her bf loves her or not(sounds she loves him...)

Wonder if Ms. Mouse would talk to him or continue to 'guess'?

Seriously, I have a French penpal, he told me he never said 'I love you' to any of his girlfriends, the word of 'love' is only ready for the one whom he really has the exactly feeling for. But since French is different from German, so just ignore what I said.

Ok, dear all, pls continue!
Ding, ding, ding, Round 2!

German men are known for their coldness...I think that is why I get along with German women so well, being a laid back and happy go lucky type from Miami, doing little things like cooking and cleaning for my lady in return for hot sex. I am quite a magician in the kitchen. Some of the best women I run into in Miami are often German women on holiday.

@ InvestorClass
Doing "little things" in exchange for hot sex? There's a word for that you whore monger!

Also magic in the kitchen is gay , ask Riina.

Hello everybody,

well i must say thanks to mere, munich, lifeisabuffet and everybody else who have been really supportive. I've got quite some insights and much general views of people from all over about my particular case. And i realise that 'i love you' is just a word when you say it but a state of being when you live it. Actually the past week has been really hectic and I was not able to be in constant communication(emails and sms) with my Boyfriend. I flew to Singapore and was soooo busy with work and he flew to belgium for work also. But, i realised that he does care a lot for me, even when he was at the airport he sent me messages and told me " i realise what i've missed all this time and its you that I want with me" and it made me feel good.

And all this time i was so busy and unable to reply to his sms and was partying with other people and other guys flirting with me, i realised that my german boyfriend counts the most for me. He called me yesterday and we talked and maybe he hasnt told me he loves me but i know he has feelings for me and he is also making an effort for this long distance relationship to work. And deep inside, we both want it to work coz we want to be with each other and its gonna be pretty soon, hopefully by May

yay! just stay positive and keep in mind it's hard, but if you care then it's worth it. (and it seems like you need to show you care 2x as much since you never see them).

umm.. by may? it's may today...

end of May, hopefully!!!

that's the deal normally with long distance...pretty hard but can do

don't worry about it... I had been dating an Austrian like 2 yrs before he finally told me...but when he finally told me, I knew he really meant it...and now he's my husband so...

Im not alone then...

some guys are just different from others!!

you mean some guys are just more difficult than others...

thats a good one..

it doesn't really depend on the culture how a man reacts, ask him if he loves you, maybe he's too bashful to tell you!

No no no!!! When a woman asks a man if he loves her she's lost. She looks pathetic. She sounds pathetic both to him and her. Its a relationship killer.

Don't ever ask "Do you love me?". It has to come spontaneously or it hasn't come, and never will.

OH SO TRUE! If you HAVE to ask I think you already know the answer

oh hell. i think i would have freaked out. then again, my ex told me after 3 weeks, which was ridiculous, the one before that, after 4 months or so, this one needed 6 months and I was like "hello, do you love me or not?"! but i seem to think that it is a german phenomenon that they don't use the "i love you" as frequently as we Englsih speakers do (at least Americans). for me, if i don't hear it, then how should i know it's true?

so back to the poster? are you here now? how is it going? has he said it yet?

Yeah, what I figured out so far is that Americans say the three magical words more often or sooner than Germans and then don’t really mean it. But also from my experience it takes British guys even longer to say “it�

I am German. And I was much faster than my indian girlfriend saying it at first. But it is really a personal thing. Some people just won't ...