I'm thinking of moving to Germany for love

Hello Guys,

I am new to this site. I have read through a few posts to see how people find living in Germany.

Ok, heres my story: Basically I fell in love with this girl whom I met travelling around East Asia. We have been together now for 10 months... we spent 3 months travelling, shes spent 2 months in England and I have done a few visits to Germany (1 1/2 months in total). So at the moment it is a long distance relationship, she has however just started university in Koln. I find it very hard to deal with the distance, especially knowing it will last for 4 years. The solution, go over there and join her.. or put up with the odd lonely days. She is willing to live in England once her studies our finished.

Have many of you left your home country for love? To be honest I do not have much going for me jobwise. I did a GNVQ in media, a HND in music production and DJ-ing, my jobs have been call centre or office based.

Is it easy to find work in Germany? I speak very little German but am keen to learn.

I am very tempted to jump ship and just give German life a go... Maybe do a Tefl course, DJ at weekends or something.

Is anyone been or in a similar situation.

At first I despised the Germany contingency... but after going there and mingling, they are actually nice people. Of course I find their tashes, ginger beards weird to handle.

If any of you could give me an insight to your stories, why you fled home, or advise or routes I could take? Any advise would be much appreciated.

Kind regards

Reilly

Not really, we all left for money

Welcome to Germany and have a nice time with your love.

Lots of people have come here for love. Some have even stayed for love.

Sounds like you don't really have what you might call a 'steady' job in England so what do you have to lose?

Give it a go my son.

I am doing the same thing. Next month I leave the US to go to Germany for love. He is the breadwinner and I don't have much going for a job here, so it makes more sense to go to Germany then for him to come here.

As his family and my family said, we are still young and you only live once. If you are not attached to your country and have nothing really keeping you there go for it.

As my grandmother says, if it fails at least you have a once in a lifetime experience that you would have never gotten before.

Let me get this straight, you dont have much going for you at home jobwise? You got a girl who you love and I presume, actually wants you to move over even though shes going into her party/uni years? Nah stay in the UK it will work out in your favour. Seriously what the hell are you waiting for?

Someone to tell you its a cake walk and that sure youll find a job you love no problem? The reality is youll move here, get frustrated with the language, some of the people/customs, and the job search, and your relationship might suffer for it. On the other hand, you'll get a chance to live here, learn a new language, meet some great people and give your relationship a real time shot. Save your cash, take some german lessons, and keep an open mind. Your relationship might or might not work out but in the end, you'll gain from the experience.

And if all else fails, you can always go back home knowing for certain how things worked out rather than sitting in your call centre wondering what the hell would have happened if you actual bellied up and took a shot.

I'm not in Germany just yet... I still have the pleasure of English humour for a while yet... its a months notice aswell if I decided to jump ship.

As Shakespeare said 'If music be the food of love THEN GET THAT MAN A DOUBLE CHEESE BURGER!!'

My job pays good, but its not me. I do worry about my future in England little alone in Germany.

What do you reckon, follow my heart? If it doesnt work out...theres always easyjet.com/backtotheagencies

What are you waiting for?! Hand in your notice and book that flight. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Follow your heart...I am!!! "It is better to loved and lost then to never have loved at all"

Moulin Rouge?

I stayed for it having commuted between Manchester & Hamburg for several years on a university
research project and then decided to move out for one year, then another. Then met the girl.

23 years later

ehh maybe I thought it was one of those old English guys who wrote it...then again literature and poetry were never my thing.

I have seen a few jobs for English speakers in call centres in Köln so it's worth getting a written reference from a previous employer and starting to search for work. Köln is not a bad place to live and you won't really know if you like it unless you give it a go.

Hello Rielly~

I am an American woman living in Munich...for love. I left Portland, Oregon after meeting a man that was in Portland on business, and he was living in Munich. We did the long distance thing for 2 years and it was time for one of us to make a move, or give up the idea of ever having a real relationship. I did have a good job, lots of friends, and was happy in my life. I had visited Munich several times, and really liked it, but I was nervous about not speaking the language and not having a job lined up.

I'm not going to lie to you. It has been difficult! I love being here with my boyfriend, love Munich and it's ideal location...but it's been a struggle finding a good job and making friends. Now the good news...I wouldn't change my decision for anything! I have definitely grown as a person, am learning German, traveling to nearby countries, (and some not so nearby!), and I am happy in my relationship.

My advice is, if you don't have much to lose in coming here, and you have your lover waiting for you, give it a go! German's are friendly, most of them speak English very well, and there are jobs to be had. Since you weren't in your dream job, you may not mind taking what you can get when you first get here. It was difficult for me because I was making good money. As an expat with minimal german skills, you most likely won't find a job as VP of some company, but you will find something. Just get to learning your Deutsch!

Good luck!

PM me if you have any questions.

Go for it, Reilly! If you don't give it a go, you'll spend the rest of your life asking yourself, "what if?"!

The majority of my English-speaking friends here came for love, or stayed for love. We are not all necessarily with the same ones now mind you, me included, but we are still here and settled with locals! I came over on a one-year poorly paid contract intending to move on or move back afterwards - 18 years later and I'm still here!

Hi,
My German wife and I married in Asia, where we were both working when we met. After our child was born, we left for Germany, where she had her regular position to go back to. It took me a while to learn the language and get a job and yes, there were difficult times, but like the Germans say, Aller Anfang ist schwer - Starting out is always difficult.

They say you'll always regret the things you never did more than the things you did.

For more info of how things went and how they're going, you can click on my profile.

i'd say go for it. since she's willing to move when she graduates, you have a limited time that you'd have to stay in germany to be with her. maybe you won't want to leave at that point but at least you'll have the option to move as a couple then. in the meantime, you'll have a chance to really get to know her friends and family and experience her culture. sounds like a good deal to me.

i moved to germany to be with my wife and as much as i have sort of a love-hate relationship with the country itself, i don't regret following my heart and i'd do it all again knowing what i know now. but that's just me.

no one can say what the future will bring for you whether you move to germany or stay in england. it sounds like you don't have much to lose by taking the risk, so what's holding you back?

It's always a hassle moving, particularly to a country where you don't understand the customs and speak the language but it's worth doing. I have no regrets leaving Canada for Germany and then for Spain. You don't like you can always move on. Personally I think the biggest hassle is learning the language, I never really mastered German and now I'm struggling to learn Spanish and I really really really should be doing my Spanish and not wasting my time here!!! But this is way more fun!

ok no more fooling around back to language lessons

Yep, good luck to you all. I'm sure it'll go fine and be the right decision. If soemthing does go wrong you're only an hour flight from being back home.

Moving from say Auckland to Berlin for love, that might be a different story...

So basically you're surrendering to the pussy then?

No man , you're alone , the first person that's ever had that experience...

when i read the topic title what i thought was that this is such an "awwwwww..." thread so I skipped me morning cake!

I simply have no idea how others experiences regarding them moving for love will help you or aid you, are you looking for validation of some sort or that you seek examples that in a materialistic world people still move around for love.

If you wanted to know how life is here and blah blah...then its perfectly ok, but you want to move for love and ask peoples advice!!! HA.

If you love a person enough, move...you could always make money one way or the other but may not find another person like the one you have met! There is always an excuse for not doing something and they are easy to make up.

I'm another one who left my home country for love (last September). Ok, I can speak German and only moved after getting my qualifications and a good job, which made the move very easy to be honest. But the motivation was 100% for love, the fact that its fantastic here is a huge bonus! I wouldn't think twice about doing it again either.

You have so much to try in life, you'll gather plenty of experience and expose yourself to a different life and culture here - this can only enrich your life in general, so go for it. Even if the relationship doesn't last in the long run, there's no shame in giving it a try for a few years and then heading home at some point. And you might even end up staying for the rest of your life, like many have done! Take it one step at a time, get over here and make the most of this opportunity. Keep working at learning German, it will pay off. Then just see how it goes, don't worry about what you will be doing in 5 or 10 years - you can think about that after being here for a while.

I'm another one who moved for love. I had a great job, great friends and I lived close to my family but when he said his contract had ended in the U.S. and he had to go back, I said 'what the hell, why not? I can always go back home to Boston.' I didn't want to have a lifetime of 'what ifs' What if I had gone to Germany? I never have to ask that question.
I had no job either and spoke really no German. It was tough being so far away from my normal life but now, after 5 years, I have a life here and none there.

Just do it - what do you have to lose? If you don't go, you could lose the love of your life.

I would definitely weigh the pros and cons before you decide to come here. Moving to Germany is an adjustment, to say the least. What will you be doing while she's studying? What kind of job will you get? How will you be able to adjust to the German culture?

Somebody that I know left his home country to come here to be with his girlfriend, with the intention of going back when she was done. Now that she's done, she wants to stay here but what he wants to go back.

Contrary to "popular" belief, you need more than just love...

that is actually your first mistake thinking she'll be done with uni in 4 years. the average university degree takes at least 6 years (11-12 semesters) to finish (knowing too many German students, 7-8 years). or is she at a Fachhochschule? then she'll need around 10 semesters. or is she doing a bachelor's degree, then she'll be lucky to be done in 8.

the thing is, even if you did move over here, would you be willing to tolerate her student lifestyle for 4 years? if she's just starting uni, then she is very, very young. and most of her friends will be too. how old are you? are you willing to wait & put up with it?

Elfenstar made a good point.

To give you my personal POV, I moved here but had the full support of my bf. He paid for food, shelter, etc as I learned German. Took me 7-8 months to be fluent enough to not make a fool out of myself at a job interview and to be able to put together abstract concepts and thoughts without stumbling. He helped me with an endless amount of paperwork so I could stay here, something else I couldn't have done without his support.

If you want to move here, ask yourself if you're willing to take on a hell of a lot of frustration in getting set up here if she is too busy to help. Also be aware that one of you is making a new start here and the other is trying to study with an income (I presume) that isn't astronomical. This will not make your situation easy.

If you still think it's a good idea after reading my pessimistic post, then go for it!

You can always move back if it doesn't work for you.

I'm in a similar situation. Against my better judgement I let myself fall in love w/ a wonderful woman 1/2 a world away in Germany. She can't leave Germany for another year, until she finishes her masters, and I can't leave the US permanently b/c I have a good career, assets, etc.

So, in the meantime, we've worked out an arrangment to mitigate the distance somewhat. Luckily, I have a job where I really can work from anywhere as long as I have a fast internet connection. She and I have an apartment together in Munich, and I still have a residence in the states. I end up being in Munich about 50% of the time. Certainly not ideal, but it beats the hell out of only seeing each other for a few weeks at a time every few months (which is what we did for the first year together).

Now I've thought about just ditching everything and moving to Germany full-time, but there are definate obstacles to consider. The first and foremost is the practical matter of finances; do you have a fallback in the case of distaster, or being unable to find a suitable job? If she's in uni, she's not going to be able to help you financially if something bad happens, and you won't have your network of family/friends there. That's one of the big reasons she's moving to the US after graduation; I can support both of us while she finds the right job (although it hurts my pride a little, she'll probably be earning more than me in short order once she graduates).

Something else to consider is just how marketable you are in the job market. In the US, I'm a well-paid professional w/ good experience in my field. However, my academic credentials are lacking by German standards (only a B.S. and not in my field). Nobody cares in the US due to my experience, but Germans place a huge emphasis on your acedemic credentials. Also, by not being fluent in German, it's another big strike against me. Ask yourself how your credentials might be viewed in Germany in terms of a job. Are they so strong that you can be assured of finding a suitable job w/ little chance that you'll find yourself with a financial shortfall?

Now with all that being said, sometimes it's ok to do something stupid or crazy for love. As someone mentioned, life only presents so many opportunities and it's up to you what you do w/ them. Just don't let it blind you to the practical realities of life. Maintaining two households has stretched my finances a lot more than I'm truly comfortable w/ but I'm happy to do it b/c I'm stupid in love, but I did make sure I could actually do it w/o completely compromising my (and hopefully soon to be hers as well) future in the doing.

Well I have a similar story.
I'm English, but my parents moved to Australia about 5 years ago.
After I finished studying in Aus I went to spend some time in the UK working and staying with family etc.
I went on a small trip to Germany and that was when I met my girlfriend.
We saw each other whenever we could, but only ever for 1 week at a time which was heartbreaking as you can imagine.
This went on for a year until I had to go back to Australia.
She came over once during her summer holidays and then I went to Germany for a few months the following year.

After about 2 years of saying goodbyes at airports and always being apart etc, she finished her abitur and then came to Australia on a working holiday visa which was great, finally we could be together longer and not worry about one of us having to leave soon.
After that we both went back to Germany where we are now...

Well, except I'm actually in the UK for 2 weeks for my brothers birthday! ha!
I've only been here for a day ( it's the first time we've been apart for longer than a few hours in almost a year!) and I miss her so much

I haven't had much luck finding a job here, but you'll have a lot more opportunities in somewhere like Cologne.
I really like Germany actually, being back in the UK just seems bleh! So dirty and expensive.

Anyway, I'd say go for it!
A lot of long distance relationships fail for obvious reasons, but if you can make it through the tough times it will only make your relationship stronger in the end.
And Germany's not so far away anyway, what have you got to lose?

You mentioned that she's a university student. Sure, it's easy for one to tell another to go for it...but am I the only realist/pessimist in this forum? :-\ How will you support yourself? Have you enough money saved up until you're able to find a job? Does she also work? I hope everything works out for you guys.

Just do it! heck it's hardly far! My german bf is moving to New Zealand with me when he finishes school and we don't really have any plans or financial backing apart from let's just go and we can figure it out there. As everyone has said what have you really got to lose? Guess it all depends how much of the adventurous sort you are

@ reilly
I came for love, left for hate, and came back for myself. The latter is what I would advise you to do.

good luck! i haven't read everything here, but I really do NOT like this topic!

I did too, lasted about half a year, for some reason I stayed though. Took me 7 years to find the right woman, with a few shorter relationships in between. It was worth holding out...

How do those of you who have done this not question if the other person cares as much as you do (since you left where you were for them and not vise versa)?

I guess it depends why you are moving there and not vice versa, Like my bf has to come to NZ because I don't speak German very well so my standard of life over here is nowhere as good as it could be back home, and he speaks fluent English. Or one may have a better job than the other, more family attachments... I couldn't do what he is doing though so think that is awesome, although to try and make it more fair I have said I'm open to coming back for a few years every now and again.

Edit: offending post removed. Might re-post if mere starts a new thread for that question then.

Errrm , do it or don't ?

This has been turned into a thread for laxative challenged people ffs

That's good advice, Marty.
Heck yeah, you're young, go for it and all that.
But bear in mind that in coming over to join your gf you are putting pressure on her. IF you don't find work etc etc then it's all to easy to get into the "I came over here because of you and now life is shit" kind of attitude, which is a bummer as far as the relationship is concerned.
Only you know what stage your relationship is at, only you can make the decision. End of.

how old are u and how old is she? If she is below twenty or around very early twenties, i'd consider twice.

Good point, didn´t think of it at the time. I think at the time I just wanted to get away, just wanted to be somewhere else. I may not have been thinking completely logically. "Seemed like a good idea at the time" - sounds weak, I know...

I nearly spit coffee at my LCD screen but thankfully I have incredible self control. Moving to another country for a partner is a foolish thing, if it does not work out, what then? If you are moving for money its another story because money gives unconditional love .

Eh, you go home again...or you stick around and see what else is available. Tis hardly the end of the world.

eh, if the TT experience is indicative it will last about 13 months and you'll probably be boozed out of your mind and cheating far before that.

Guess I'm a big fool then. It is even more foolish to go through life saying 'what if'.
If it doesn't work out then, duh, you go back home.
It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

doesn't sound like a nice scenario.

Hi there!
I'll tell my tale brief. I'm an Australian, and it was there I met my boyfriend. We met in the middle of Adelaide Mall (he'd only that day driven in), shared a weekend, and then he left to see Melbourne as per his original plans. We talked a week on the phone, thinking it crazy, before I jumped plane (without telling a sole for fear of jears) and landed in his lap in Malbourne. I spent a week there with him before reluctantly flying home. And then, another week later, when his travel mates had flown home, he flew back in Adelaide. We lived together for five months. I am young, he is younger. I kept him hidden from my parents for as long as possible, which was a long time! I was half way through my last year of uni when he left. Five months apart, I finished uni, and jumped straight onto a plane. I lived with him and his family for a little over four months. It was horribly painful. Now I am working in Hamburg, two hours drive away from he. I think things were better between us back home, but our relationship is strong. I came in winter, and I hate the cold, so only now, here in Hamburg, am I beginning to acknowledge the beauty of this country. I don't speak German, and I have no spare money to take a course. This is a niggling problem between us. If I had known I'd be living with his family for so long (he promised before I came to move out) then no, I probably wouldn't have done it in hindsight. It put a lot of strain on everyone involved. When we met, we said we'd take it a day at a time, and thats what we did, until we became totally attatched to each other. We still won't make definant plans; definant plans make people wary and uneasy. I think your lucky being in the UK, your so close alread to Germany. It's not so easy for me to get home. I have found work - it took a long time and great perserverance, but he who seeks finds! So the long and the short... Providing you won't be living with her family, and she won't expect perfect German pronounciation one week after arrival, I say do it. Nothing ventured nothing gained, and it might be your opportunity of a life time! Cheers. I would sound more upbeat if my guy was here with me... but 2 hrs apart is a damn sight better than 26!!
Steph

Oh dear - if you think that the last "Winter" was cold wait until a real one comes along. I grant you it was as dark as usual but cold for here is wasn't...

O golly, sorry people. That was longwinded and over informative. I guess I needed to remind myself of what I've done and why...

Ah yes well that's what I was told, over and over! I have a return ticket for the 5th of Nov though. (Necessary for visa). So I'll b back frying in the heat before it gets too cold fingers crossed...

Given the sunny weather take advantage of 1st May and get out into the countryside.

There is quite a lot here & its quite picturesque with the bright yellow fields of oil-seed rape...