"I will survive" alternative lyrics

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!
Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

Contradictory statement, please rephrase.

that is a classic! thanks for making me giggle!

He He He...I have never heard that before.

Funny stuff .

And about "little weiner" that's an oxymoron .

Interesting. Would you all still find this funny if it was about some girl whose tits were too small or whose arse was too fat?

And what about the ball-bashing game ("wak the sak", adult forum) - would that be ok the other way round too, if it involved men hitting women?

This one was posted by a man. Does that make a difference, I wonder?

That should be posted in the 'Patch for women sex drive' thread, there's a lot of BS being posted by guys, I bet it is all bravado and 'little' sustance...

Yes. Those songs are funny too.

Do your tits hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie em in a knot?
Can you tie em in a bow?
Can you throw em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your tits
hang
low?

Hmm. Tried to read that thread earlier but I got knocked out by the pheromones!

Yes Tiggi, there was a very strong whiff!

Isn't that all women?

Erm... I don't think so. For an oxymoron you need two contradictory terms whereas those two - "little" and "wiener" (not "weiner") - are anything but.

Or eight Chelsea fans

If you have such tits, you can save up on scarves, just roll them around your neck and they'll keep you warm.

Or keep somebody else warm which is by far more fun.

...

All right... I confess!!!

Dafydd does your heart miss a beat when you see this lady?

Looks like she should mate with the Ameglian Major Cow