I need some female company

well Ulysses it might help you to actually then read my statements as I clearly support the idea of simply wanting a F**k buddy and had no issue with the posting.

Oh but wait I am a woman...so can't possibly really believe that

@Jack...exactly

Ulysses, I think we are talking at cross purposes. I wrote:


I have nothing against people just sleeping with one another, no strings attached. What I do have a problem with is people speaking about the opposite sex in a discriminatory manner, whether male or female, portraying them as pieces of flesh and nothing more. You see a lot of this in advertising. This does have an effect on the psyche of people. I have experienced it myself and have heared it with my own ears.

I used the word misogynist for sure, but I never called Grinner a misogynist.

@ cabbagefairy
I couldn`t agree more

Actually, I knew that and therefore it wasn't meant as an attack on you. I was simply developing your statement.


So it's ok to sleep around no strings attached, but it's not ok to talk about it? When you have a one-night stand or a shag relationship, it's all about the flesh. There're no emotions involved. As long as both are consenting, I see nothing wrong with it.

No PM from me, I'll wish you good luck right here and now.

I actually thoughKay had read my first post... but maybe she didnt...

As I said.. I never intended the term "Elder flower" to be offensive..

I would Like to appologise to the ladies that I have offended... This was NEVER my intention! EVER!

Sorry.

G

_{Edited the removal accusation was needed as I have cauht up with all related threads!...}

In theory this is great when you don't think about consequences. The problem arises when people who do not think this liberally as yourself start seeing women behave the same way as men do and start using words such as SLUT to describe a women who is living her own sexuality in the same way men do. Men are never called sluts for being sexual. If you travel as a woman to certain countries, for instance to certain Muslim countries, you as a Caucasian woman are very often treated by Muslim men as sluts. I have even been "explained" this by a Turkish Muslim man. The girl on the porno cover is most likely to be nude Caucasian. For some of them that means we Caucasian women are de facto sluts and that it's perfectly ok for them to sexually harass us, hey, we probably love it.

In general I believe that as soon as you take away dignity and as soon as you see a person as being below you in some way, it makes it easier to commit a crime against that person. That is the reason why in most of Africa, Asia, Latin America and the Middle East, crimes against women are not seen as something that serious.

It's ok to talk about it, but it's not ok to talk about in a way which sounds like you think a person of the opposite sex is worth less than you.

Good luck Grinner! Remember cooking is the key.

But then there's no consent on both sides now is there?


Now where did you read that he thought his fuck buddy was worth less than him? Why must you always read things into everything people write?

@G
1. I read the post already this morning
2. I wasn't offended in the least by the term in question

I actually thought about it a bit today (I just moved my comment to the right thread, btw). It's not always easy deciding how to refer to people in a certain age bracket; I just think that "elder" is not a particularly fortunate term (makes me think of village elders, to be honest ). As for a similar term, "elderly", I'd use it to describe people of retirement age or older (not those retiring at 40, mind you!).

This post is great Sunday entertainment, thanks

Ok.. I have to appologise again..

This is the original topic that has been re-opened...

I am totally lost now..

Ho hum..

G

Wot? What's this about consent? Was this the topic of debate?


Ulysses, my final attempt: Many women on this forum were offended by this. If the good lord put you on this planet as a man, I guess you can't
understand it. Many other women on this forum weren't offended by this either. But please accept that the threads, yesterday's and today's, did come across to quite a few women as sounding misogynistic or putting women down or turning women into objects or making women feel discriminated against. Even if you can't understand how we women could possibly feel like this, just accept that some of us do.

Offended with no reason, they're reading into the post what they want to read, not what was written.

I don't think it's wanting so much. If you experience discrimination a lot, you end up seeing many things which other people don't see and being a lot more touchy about these things than other people who don't experience discrimination a lot. I read a lot and cannot shut my eyes to what reality comprises for the majority of women on this planet.

It's not like Grinner has grabbed some woman by her hair and dragged her into his lair for a good fuck session against her will for crying out loud. He's trying to find a like-minded member of the opposite sex. How can you compare him to rapists and situations where there is clearly no consent?

Bingo. Some people are actively searching for it in places where it's not

=

a.) Rape is about power, not sex, so that topic is absolutely out of place here on this thread

b.) Lavenderrain complains that Grinner objectifies women, yet with the next breath tells him to go to the gym because no woman would want him in his shape. Isn´t she then also guilty of objectifying men?

This is counted as an offense if only said by a man.

Very confused by the reaction to this post (did not get an opportunity to read the first post nor the PM, so may have missed some information which may have formed some of the subsequent posts - for this I apologize)

I originally read through Grinners post quite quickly and then continued through the replies (as one does). After reading some of the replies, and not really understanding where the venom was originating I decided to have a look at Grinners post once more.


I am looking for a Female friend

I am 42 and a chubby fucker to say the least

I am looking for some companionship

.. a drinking buddy,

a fuck buddy if things are good..

I am not looking to go for a romantic walk to the lake nor a candle lit diner at the local pizza shed

... If this happens, then so be it! (yes I know I am a romantic!!!)

Having had a few GFs in the past, so I am no longer in a possition to offer you a "pure white" "tall and handsome" geeza

I am a fucking wreck.!

I will tell you no more about me as many of you know me personally or at least in real life! So you know what you are getting

Compare me to a Pineapple if you must.. hard and abrasive on the outside.. soft and sweet inside!!!

My life is quite good and my social life is what I make of it!...

Please dont take this as an "I am desperate" sort of posting, as I am not!

It is written as I have a big gap in my life that needs to be filled..

You wanna at least meet for a drink or a pizza? then drop me a PM

So, this is what I read (my own perspective, no one else's, not speaking for anyone else - let alone the male population)

Grinner says he is looking for 'a Female friend, companionship, a drink buddy, a fuck buddy if things are good' & that 'I have a big gap in my life that needs to be filled'

- Please note that that it was a friend, companion & drinking bubby that Grinner said he was looking for before he ever mentioned wanting a fuck buddy (& only if things were good). He feels that there is something missing in his live and would like to change that.

Grinner describes himself as 'I am 42 and a chubby fucker to say the least - no longer being a pure white, tall & hanesome geeza - a fucking wreck - hard & abrasive on the outside.. soft & sweet inside'

- To me this was saying 'this is what you'll see from the outside but theres a softer inner shell if your just willing to delve a little bit deeper'

I still am at a loss about the origins of all the venom. I guess we all see things from our own side of the looking glass & are affected by it in our own way. I guess only Grinner really knows what hes saying in his post. Good luck to you , & I hope you get to fill that gap in your life.

Spot on.. Green!

Couldnt have put it better myself...!!

G

It's not actively searching and it was hard to miss. As I also said in one of my first posts on this thread, a lot of stupid comments have been made towards women on this forum in general and it's getting very tiring to read. A few of us said we find it troubling. The fact that we got talking about this on the Grinner thread, making it seem like it was only due to what Grinner had posted, is unfair towards Grinner, but on the other hand has the advantage for him that many more women would possibly notice this thread hence increasing his chances of getting lucking. I wrote from the beginning that it wasn't so much what he had said, rather a general trend I have noticed on this forum.

Furry muff, but that should be for another thread.

I am pretty sure this is a spelling mistake here - just worried about how to correct.

objectify (v.) To present or regard as an object:“Because we have objectified animals, we are able to treat them impersonally� (Barry Lopez)

In a real sense, objects hold no meaning and they offer no emotional sustenance; Objects hold no meaning and Grinner holds no meaning in the women he pursues which is a clear definition of objectifying. By chosing women as a "fuck buddy" he choses to treat them impersonally. Timmeh you asked to clarify how this particular post denigrates and objectify women, in my opinion, the overall tenure and tone of his missive is denigrating to women by these points: It's evident in his post this is a manifestation of his own lack of self-esteem and self-confidence and seemingly his lack of confidence in his ability to interact in a more wholesome and respectful relationship with women, hence is the reason why he only seeks a fuck buddy. It's because of these characteristics that he seeks to objectify not only himself, but women as well that he's seeking with his post. Based on what he says his expectations are(fucking, eating pizza and drinking beer) there is no depth, which is also a reflection of his objectification of himself and again the women he seeks, which is denigrating. In essence, he displaces everything that he dislikes about himself into the kind of relationship that he is seeking. So basically, it seems how he defines himself is how he defines his relationships. Superficial at best. It could be because Grinner doesn't know who he is as a person is the reason why he choses to objectify women and seek these superficial relationships. Because if he knew who he is as a person, than he probably would have more to offer of yourself and probably would expect more from the women he seeks. In my opinion, this is one of the most potentially dangerous kind of relationship for a women to be involved in with man who thinks very little of himself and subsequently her as well. I just think we should be trying to connect on a deeper level with people and in more meaningful kind of ways. I think we should not allow our own dysfunctional pathology to be dsplaced upon someone else and use them as a fuck buddy to try to enrich our own empty lives.

Oh Brother English, I do admire your wit. It should of course be getting lucky, silly me, call it a Freudian slip.

Good post, Lavenderrain. We aren't talking about seeking a relationship here though. I thought Grinner doesn't want a relationship, just a fuck buddy. I don't think it's the right thing though to analyse a person's weaknesses like this on an open forum, on the other hand it explains your line of reasoning very well and Grinner specifically asked to be discussed. Grinner, if you want us to stop we'll stop. I anyway have to still do some work so I can't hang around on this thread for much longer.

I agree with Green. don't know what all the fuss is about. Can only think many women speaking here may have had a bad experience being a fuck buddy :-)

I think its nice that Grinner was honest and upfront about what he wants and I guess he knows only what he wanted people to read into it...but I for one wasn't offended, thought it quite brave (if its not a wind up) to post it here.

And perhaps he is not looking for someone that would be super sensitive anyway.

I am sorry for being late. I just want to know when Grinner is going to cook for all of us to apologize?

With posts like this you'll most definitely be 42 and single too. Trust me. No guy wants this sort of high-maintenance. Let go of your psychology textbooks and live life a little. It doesn't have to be this complicated. No one likes psycho-analysis either. there too many 2 quid psychologists running around as it is. And drop the big words. They do nothing when the rest of your post is riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes.

That's a rather interesting conclusion to draw. I have never felt the need to be nor have I have had to be anybody's fuck buddy. Interesting to see how differently we all think to one another. I agree with you though that there has been way too much fuss about this, but for Grinner it's good publicity.

Frankly, I wasn't going to go any further with this until Timmeh asked me to clarify and that's what at least I attempted to do. Regarding "a relationship" being fuck buddies is a kind of "relationship' albeit, a very superficial one. Regarding what Marie said, No, I haven't had any experience being a "fuck buddy" and to all the women and men who appreciate being "fuck buddies" more power to you.

Grinner, I truly do wish you all the best in your pursuit.

I think I've said enough (or perhaps too much) and this will be my last post on this topic.

LR- where did you get your Psychology degree? Have you met Grinner to make such assumptions about him? Have you ever had a 'fuck buddy'? Everyone wants someone to love or to love them back, some people don't have the time or the patience to deal with high maintence relationships, so casual sex is the easiest. I admire Grinner's honesty and putting himself out there. We have all gone thru lonely times, and sometimes waking up next to somebody that you know you don't have to ever see again, works for some. Not everyone can do that, but you are harshly judging someone you have never met.

In fairness to LR though, if you do want to try to understand why a person would want said things, a person who refers to himself as having major problems and feeling empty, why not try to analyse somebody if you did study psychology? I wouldn't have posted the analyses here though, I would have kept it for a f2f conversation if anything. She had her reasons though, she was asked to explain why she thinks what she thinks. I am quite sure though that Grinner isn't an empty person.

I have to say I am a bit shallow in my judgement of people based on their spelling abilities. I am always amused by the spelling mistakes that slip through LR´s fingers, especially "weiner" when referring to a certain male body part...Also a very proper term.

No that is not neccesarily so...that is your interpretation as one who admitedly has no experience with them. They can also be friends one has rich relationships with, but whom you might not choose as a life partner. It is a mutual understanding.

There is nothing superfical or degrading about being open and honest about your motives and desires, and being respectful enough to the other person to let them know where you stand.

It is when you don't do that, that you remove the power of choice from the other person, and that, to me, is the real crime.

well said

I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman being 42 and single. To many a woman being single is a blessing.

Really. That explains the plethora of dating agencies and websites then.

So, I have a pile of clothing to iron, anyone up for a homemade dinner sometime this week?

well, i offered a dinner out but no one replied

boys, give us some time to clear our calanders first.

I really really don't like the term 'Fuck Buddy'. It does seem to denigrate anyone entering into such a 'relationship'. I mean really, it sounds so cheap. Like these people wouldn't give each other the time of day without their clothes on the floor. I think this unfortunate choice of words it the main problem here and it probably doesn't even accurately describe what Grinner really wants. 'Friends with Benefits' would be a term most women would find more acceptable.

@panama - what are you cooking?

Kat, I said I wasn't going to say anything else about this topic, but I just to tell you your post made me howl with laughter. That's absolutely funny stuff...Friends with Benefits, You are so politically correct.

And he's got a huge heart, the big soft bugger. Plus he's been a real pal to me over the years, sure, he's a rough diamond but he is still a diamond.

Good luck pal, she's out there or you'll have fun while you look!

I like the term "friends with benefits" but surely "F%&$ Buddy" is closer to "Benefits without the friends bit"...

Grinner, despite maybe using an unfortunate choice of words, albeit in total honesty, I reckon there would be plenty women in Munich of your age group (its also my age-group) seeking something similar. Maybe not exactly the "FB only" bit but certainly the rest (somewhere I read that 50% of Munich households are single). I would also bet my pants that there are also many of both sexes in relationships where they would only love to have a chance at being single...

I've never been to a U-30 party, but hear from many sources that there is a high turnover rate and judging by the increased number of them advertised there must be something in that.

Best of luck...

Lad one thing to also remember...being single is not a bad way to go. I was single for easy over 20years due to being an emmigrant, a drinker , continually moving and being an ugly bastard to boot.

Being abroad will limit a mans chances simply due to the fact you dont belong here and it will be hard to get off with a local.

I know married men who would cut their arms off to be free ,single and 42 in Munich.
As regards a fuck buddy I can recommend Hansa street at fifty euro a pop for relieveing stress. (Westend tube)

Another well tried and tested option is take one month off and get over to Thailand and or Cambodia, tons of totty and you will be happy to be single when you get back !!!

Man you got no worries .

If he takes the asian route you suggest then he'll probably also be posting in topics about Urologists that haven't used gloves. He may also end up singing songs whilst sharing a cell with Gary Glitter and I reckon there couldn't be much worse than that...