Your friend goes for your prospective job

Again, The Vent provides a topic worth expanding on. Thank you, Just G, for the input.
You tell your friend about your good luck landing an interview for a great job, and he/she goes out and applies for it him/herself.
How much consideration can you expect from a good (!) friend in a highly competetive job market? I have shifted some of the answers to this thread as well, I hope the OP's are d'accord,

The man's an arse, end of !

By all means go for a job after your mate has secured his position but not before, he needs a slap as i said before.

I would rethink my friendship! Your true friends are happy for you to have an interview or a new job, they don't go and score an interview for themselves.
Now, its different, if you both see and ad, and both call, but if you tell your friend you got an interview, and then they call, that is... well, trying to be polite here backstabbing snake.

Gordon says: "Canis canem edit"

(But then he's a cnut isn't he?)

Totally agree with Carm. It's a really low thing to do and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that.

I can't be bothered to go back and read the comments before the split, but the question really turns on when the friend applied for the job. If he/she found out about it independently and applied then no problem, may the best (wo)man win. But if they found out about the job from you and then applied, the I think you just determined one person that is certainly not your friend.

I need a cool signature like badoggie, how would you write the sound a dolphin makes. Nevermind, it can't be that cool.

I would feel seriously let down by this "friend", especially if he/she got the job and I didn't. I have encouraged friends to apply for jobs before, but never one that I had in my sights. If the ad specified that they were looking for applicants (plural) for positions (plural) I might tell him/her right away. But probably not.
@ dolfan: Read Just G's post, that's all there is.

Tell me about it...

When I first came to Munich I was living in the same building as a couple of other people who came out to Munich with me. One boring night when fook all was happening one guy came round to my flat and we started chatting.

When he came round I was casually talking about what I was going to do for my final year project when I got back to Uni. Low and behold what do I find now? It seems like the fooking fat little fuck is trying to rip my idea!!!

TBH im pissed off but not concerned because I’m going to fooking own him on the day when we have people from industry come to visit the Uni.

AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK YOU FUCKING FAT, JAW CHOMPING FUCKER!!!

yeah, I help friends out too, advise or let them know about jobs, but if I was to go for a job, I wouldn't want any of my 'friends' going for it too.
I have a good friend that is aslo a Dent. Hygienist, and she is only working 1.5 days a week, so, I do help her out to find part time work, now, if a great full time offer came along, I would apply, and interview and get it, before I tell her about it. Not that she would stab me in the back, but she is hungry, and would love more work.

This happened between two friends of mine and Friend Number Two got the job. Fortunately for her, Friend Number One is very forgiving.

I can't really support all you nay sayers as my missus told me about a job she was gonna apply for and I snuck on in and stole it. I am all class. Oh yes.

If you are going for a job and your friend gets it over you after hearing about it from you, then it means two things. 1) They were the better candidate and 2) Tough and look for a new job.

Dont be bitter, congratulate them and learn to keep yer gob shut next time.

And 3) They have very little regard for your friendship and put their own interests first, even when it means betraying your trust.

As for shutting up next time, I like to think I can confide in my friends without them using that information against me. But I'm starting to realise that's probably quite naive.

I remember once when I was going for the next level at the Bank I worked in and so was my friend/colleague. For this it was still a regular interview as external candidates could also apply for that level. The interview technique at that time was STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result). There were several interviewers and my friend at that time was booked for her interview with 2 different people than myself.

Anyway, later that day after my interview, I was called to the Personnel Office as their was a discrepancy with my with my STAR's, turns out someone else had exactly the same ones. Oh yes, the btich had stolen mine from my drawer (they were written down in a special style), obviously thinking that as she was being interviewed by different people nobody would notice, turned out we were interviewed by the same people for some reason.

Obviously I said to Personnel they were mine and they said it would be investigated further. Later that night the girl rang me to confess what she'd done and and the cheeky bitch asked me if I would say that I had let her use my STARS as then we would likely just be reprimanded, however, if I said she had nicked them then she would probably be fired. Some people are so unbelievable!!! What stuck in my throat more, was that I had spent a whole evening with her the week before helping her with her STARS, even though there was only one opening.

The stupid thing still bothers me. Not because I cannot get a job or so. It is his right to do so but it is simply not done. So what I figured out to do is the following. I will patiently wait till Monday when all is over. If he gets it and I don't than I will appply for a job way over him and get him fired.
You might wonder why I would not go straight for a 'higher'job but that is simple. I have a small company that I am starting up and just want an engineering job on the side. Never the less if the game is played like this I will show him how it is played.

Well its roughly the same as not chasing a woman your friend is interested in. Legal, but not something done between friends.

This is obviously not a nice thing to happen to anyone but consider a few things here.

You might not have got the job anyway...

Perhaps we should consider the feelings of "the friend" here. Sure it is not a nice thing to do, but how can we know the motivation of this friend.

Would you begrudge your friend from applying for the job if, say for example they were being harrassed at work and didn't feel comfortable talking about it and they were so desperate to leave that they were applying for everything?

Would you still be angry with your friend if you knew that they were on the brink of being fired at work (for some reason) and were desperately seeking a new job.
Losing all your income entirely can be a pretty strong motivation.

These are all possiblities and maybe it is the case that "their needs were greater than yours but you just don't know about it"

What a wonderful friendship you must have had... I can see why he really valued your friendship.

That is not a friend and probably never was.

Its an interesting problem and I've been through the same thing once a few years back. My mate got the job. I was gutted for a bit, but wished him well. However we both applied at the same time and knew about it. Personally if a friend was applying for a job and then told me, I'd just have to wait my turn for the next one to come up.

Whatever the outcome, the "friend" in your situation will have to live with himself. I wouldn't personally waste that much energy and time on proving a point, however pissed off I was. Life's too short.

Exactly.
You might never have got the job anyway and then there would be two of you moaning about your careers.
The variables of might are just way too big there, of course, the other person should be open and honest about their intentions too. Maybe it is the deceit which grates?
The presumption was there that it was claimed territory by you, your pal might never have known how you felt, unless your feelings were explicit.
Never had it happen to me with work, have had it happen more than once with a gent, the other woman went bananas/obsessive mentalist, indeed some still are, but hey, the variables of might were too big and the guy voted with his feet etc. and took the bigger, better deal. Have been on the receiving end too, not great but those are the chances you take in life.
Be gracious, suck it up and live with it - you can't put reservations on things like that, tables in restaurants, yes, jobs and people? No.
Did the person steal your job/love/identity/whatever? No, you just missed going through a potential door, how can someone steal something from you that was never actually yours?

Ooooh. The variables of might is a fabulous phrase I just made up. I like that.

For those of you interested in the end of this story.

I decided to pull back for the position wanting to see his reaction. Which turned out to be that he took the job. (thought he would also pull back to show loyalty)

So that was a good time to end the friendship. Got the better job, get paid more and have a longer contract but most important and like already mentioned here. I need to learn to keep my gub shut.

Greetings from Zurich.

Are you saying that you got the better job? I hope so. As for learning to keep your mouth shut, perhaps it's more of a question of considering whether you can afford to regard your coworkers as your friends. I came to the conclusion that it wasn't a good idea.

I am sorry to hear that, JustG.

No sorry feelings needed. I like it here pretty much and afterwards I can say I am gald it went the way it did. Mind u I woudl not have said that at the beginnen of the thread :-)