Agape - the celebration following a German wedding

Ok the Sektempfang is the pretty much the same as an Agape... which takes palce immediately after the ceremony and takes place wherever the cermeony is. At the one I have been to, no food was served...just Sekt, OJ, and Water. If they do have food, it will just be small things. It allows people to mingle and congratulate the newly weds before going to the actual reception, or dinner or whatever they have. The closest thing I can think of is the cocktail hour at weddings in the US (just alot smaller).

Thanks Erdbeere. Now I know we're not being invited to the full thing, which is just fine by us.

In the US, in my experience, you often (but not always) have a cocktail hour while the couple finishes up the receiving line and photos, followed not much later by dinner. Both events together are called "the reception," especially if they're held in the same place. You can just be invited to the cocktail hour/cocktails/cocktail reception/champagne reception, but in the US that is often interpreted (if not intended) as a bit of a slight.

But in Germany we usually get invited to the church, and then a cocktail reception after, with finger food. Dinner is a few hours later, and they tell you specifically that you're also invited to dinner, and often give you ideas on how to spend the time inbetween.

It seems surprisingly common here to invite people just to the church and a short cocktail reception afterwards, but to tell them outright that they are not invited to dinner, especially in the case of work colleagues or people you like but don't really know all that well yet. It usually seems well-intended but not always. To me, it either says "we might really like you someday," "we work together and I want to be able to talk about my wedding without feeling guilty in front of you," or "you don't smell, and we know you have money, so please help us fill the church and bring us some of your money." I'd probably find it much less tacky if not for all the raffles and games that usually take place during these short receptions.

It's a bit weird as my understanding of Britishand German weddings has been that as the day rogresses it becomes less and less formal and the crowd larger.
So I don't understand being invited to the ceremony and then the formal drinkies but but not the even piss up.

Here is a YouTube video "Hochzeit Agape" which shows what it is.

i have been to wedding last year where my family was sent an invitation for the church and the sekt afterwards. that was perfectly ok for us my mum knew the mother of bride but not well enough to be a member of the wedding party. ... (i would have felt out of place at the 'piss up' as i haven't seen the bride or family in over 10 years)

I think I'm th opposite. I'd only want those closest to me to share in the actual wedding ceremony but would be happy to invite all and sundry to the reception in the evening. Really it's just a big party where the more, the merrier.