Advice on how to deal with an alleged stalker

no, I just never give out my own number to a guy I met, I get his, and call him, if I have no intentions of seeing him or wanting to make up excuses why I cannot go out, then I give the number of another place, he will get the message when he calls.

No I was thinking of that scene. Quite funny and has nothing to do with you. In the scene the guy calls around 20 times the same night he gets her number at 3 AM.

I did give my number, yes.
Not that I need to justify myself, but since I apparently need to "reexamine how I deal with people", here you go.
I was out salsa dancing on vacation with my girlfriends and we met a group of guys who were dancing with us. We were only in town for a weekend and the guys wanted to meet up possibly the next night to go dancing again. I gave my phone number to one of the guys as we had loads of fun with them. They didn't call the next night - not a big deal as we decided to make other plans anyhow. Left to go home on Sunday and no word from them.
Monday I started getting phone calls from one of the guys in the group - who is not the one who I gave my phone number to in the first place.

I wouldn't call it stalking as he is not harming me or scaring me in anyway. He is not lurking around corners and showing up at places where I head out to as we don't even live in the same state. He only knows my first name and my cell phone number. Apparently he liked how I danced and became smitten, who knows?

So yes, I do know the "code" of not giving out my phone number to people who I am not interested in seeing ever again. I was interested in seeing these people for one more night of fun dancing as I was on vacation.

Besides, if I wasn't interested in seeing someone again, I would not give them a false number, I would just say "no thank you".

Answer the phone tell him politely to go fuck himself...

Giving someone a false number seems really mean to me. Not to mention underhand. What's wrong with just saying you don't give out your number? Then they can give you theirs if they want, and that's that. No false hopes. Honestly, can you imagine waiting a couple of days to call someone, really excited that it might be going to go somewhere, and then getting the local McDonald's?!

what? so, its better to give your real number that can be traced to a guy you have no intentions of talking too!

No, you politely say no thank you so that he knows you are not interested in the first place. She is saying that it is mean to give a fake number if he is really interested in you and gets his hopes up thinking that you are interested in him as well only to find out that you gave him a false number.

Just say you are not interested when he asks you for the number if you are not reciprocating the interest.

Exactly, thanks Daisy, that's just what I meant. And if you can't deal with saying upfront that you are not interested, you could also just say you don't give out your number (as though it's a general policy) rather than handing out numbers that are not your own.

Stalking Summary


A quick google of stalking in Germany led me to this link (legal translation is not my forte and I have not had coffee yet but basically)

As is already the case in many western countries, an anti-stalking law was passed here (in Germany) in November 2006 (paragraph 238). Stalking is defined as when a perpetrater follows, harasses or even theatens and attacks the victem for weeks or years. The constant stalking results in the victems often becoming extremely nervous, occasionally living in fear and panic; ...

Goes on to say this may lead to more problems and to send in a few euros for the rest of the article.

Just saying.

Might be worth you sending a few euros then you can find out what steps you should be taking next.

What ever you do, do not let your Stalker drive you crazy.

Stalking is for wierdos and immature nutters.

Let us know if you do get good advice!

I don't know why this guy is acting the way he's acting but I think he likes you. Maybe you should give him a chance and see what happens ? He might turn out to be a cool guy afterall.

Why would anyone want to get involved with someone who is that creepy? I had a stalker in high school, glad I got it over and done with while it only involved following me on breaks, hiding behind garbage cans and writing 'I love cabbagefairy' on his stomach. Ended up dating his best friend, that sure pissed him off

Totally agree.

Tell the geezer to sling his hook and break off all contact.

You deserve better.

un oef is un oef !!

I hope the OP is no longer being stalked over a year later!

I'm not sure she ever was in the first place. People use that word far too easily when they just mean someone's being persistent, paying them unwanted attention or pestering them a bit. Real stalking entails rather more than the behaviour in post 1, unfortunately.