Munich nutters - freaks weirdos and craziees

I encountered my first German nutter today on the U-bahn, between Sendlinger Tor and Innsbrucker Ring. He was of average height, pretty skinny, with short brown hair, a red top, light blue jeans and brown shoes. He first drew my attention when he "giggled" while glambering onto the U-Bahn, but I initially thought it had been response to someone else. Not so! He continued to giggle/gibber (not quite sure which) on and off for a minute or so, before moving into his "conversation" phase. By the time he got off the U-Bahn, it had turned into a full-blown one-sided conversation, and it took all of my willpower to keep the mirth from my face.

People sometimes talk about how the Germans stare at people. Well in the UK nobody would ever dare look (let alone stare) at a nutter. Not so over here! This one guy walked to the door to get off, and while he was waiting for the U-Bahn to slow down he turned around and stared the nutter full-on in the face for several seconds. I don't know how he managed to keep a straight face!

Anyway, if anyone else sees (or has seen) this nutter or any other wierdos then please post your story here as well, as I'd be interested to hear what else he does.

There's a nutter who hangs around near Münchner Freiheit. He's a black guy who carries a guitar with one string. I reckon everyone who regularly goes to Schwabing has seen him. Sometimes, if you're really lucky, he'll serenade you with a twang of his guitar, and some tuneless mumblings.

Ah yeah, I've seen him before as well. He's pretty amusing, and certainly a few cards short of a full deck - but this new guy was a raving nutter!

I've seen that guy on the U3/6 too. I still haven't decided what language he speaks - it seems to be a mix of english and german, spoken badly.

It's Italian. Although I'm sure he speaks a little English and German too.

Yes, I know him. Black as the ace of spades, spikey grey hair, permanently pissed as a fart - usually with a can of Lowenbrau in the back pocket of his jeans. He tries to serenade unwitting teenage girls on the U-Bahn with his singing and guitar playing - which incidently isn't all that bad.

He's often seen trying to perform at Mama's Kebap House too, but is persistently turned away.

Isn't all that bad? How can his guitar playing not be bad when the bastard thing only has one string on it?

I don't think the guitar always has only one string. You must have seen him on a bad day Spud.

There's another borderline nutter that I see regularly traveling north on the U3/6 line from Marienplatz. He's a fairly large, young guy, say 20-something, who always listens to his walkman wearing HUGE earphones. He's a trainspotter type with a trainspotter's anorak. He sits on the U-Bahn with a large grin on his face and half mutters, half sings - presumably to the music that he's listening to. But he constantly changes the tape over and switches it with other tapes that he has in his trainspotter's handbag. Anyone else seen him?

Nutters seem to be U-Bahn line specific. Unfortunately I've never seen this one of Aquatic's because I never travel that line.

Has anyone seen the guy on the U3/6 that looks like a grown-up version of "Smudge" from The Beano?

Spud, by this Smudge-like-character, you don't mean the scruffy dude who sits outside Karstadt at Munchener Freiheit with his ghetto blaster playing dodgy Bavarian folk songs do you? He trys to sell all sorts of crap, fluffy toys, signed posters and the like. He's definately not a character, just a loser. The Munich Gestapo should have cleaned him off the streets and sent him to Dachau long ago.

Is it possible to be a part-time nutter?

I need a regular job to pay bills, etc. Come 5pm, I could get on the U-Bahn, ride around in circles, mutter to complete strangers and argue loudly with myself.

Hazza, I'm sure you would make a wonderful part-time nutter.. but how do you intend making it pay?

Well I might get a few cents here and there - maybe the occasional half-eaten sandwich. You'd be surprised what you can find by rummaging through the bins.

That's why I just want to be a part-time nutter, so I can have a regular job during the day and just supplement my income as a nutter.

Well its worth a try, if anyone can make money being a professional, part-time nutter, you can.

I think I should feel insulted

Hazza, Have you ever gone onto public transport and purposely acted strange to observe the reactions of people? This used to be an assignment in psychology at my university. I went out once with my friend while they were on assignment. Great fun to see people's reactions.

On a side note, I was in Barcelona recently, and my favorite street act was this man dressed in a gorilla suit. He walked around La Rambla sneeking up on people and then saying "meow". I sat and laughed, laughed, laughed at people's reactions for 20 minutes. Sorta mean, but all for harmless play.

Anyhow Hazza, I whole-heartedly support you becoming a nutter. And btw, can I come along and watch?

Not really a gibbering nutter this one, more of a silent nutter. I wonder whether anyone else has seen him? He's a youngish guy, late 20's to early 30's, clean and shaven, wears blue jeans, white trainers and a tracksuit top. All pretty normal so far. But get this, he also wears a baseball cap back-to-front with a mobile phone clipped to the peak of the cap. Dark sun-glasses, and - and this is the freaky bit - a cigarette sticking out of each ear. Not a cigarette *behind* each ear, but actually sticking straight out. And not only that, but stuck to his nose is a smallish piece of paper, like a till receipt or something. He sure looks like a complete nutter. I've seen him twice. Once taking the U-Bahn (U6/3) and once walking down Leopoldstrasse. Everyone struggles not to look at him and smirk. Small children just stare.

The thing is, I'm not sure whether he's actually clinically insane or whether he's just some kind of bizarre amateur performance artist? Maybe he's simply trying out Hazza's rules about doing precisely the opposite of normal behaviour? Or maybe he is on the same psychology assignment as Bee?

I was walking into the U-Bahn station at Westendstrasse this morning when I heard some weird "whoooeeeii" noises coming from the platform area. I thought to myself, it's probably just some kids messing around, and ignored it.

However, when I got to the platform there was a woman there walking up and down with her arms out in front of her, like a b-movie zombie, making the noises.

She continued to do it until the train came, then got on and kept doing it -- "whoooeii... ich bin der Stadtsgespenst... whoooieee".

I think I was the only one having difficulty keeping a straight face. All the other passengers were just sat there, stony-faced, staring at whoever was sat opposite...

Was she wearing her underwear on the outside of her pants Spud? If so, she's the same nut fuck who likes to hang out on the telephones at Marienplatz and have loud "conversations."

Hoddy, no she wasn't wearing her underwear outside her trousers. She seemed fairly normally dressed. For a German anyway.

Today seems to be my day for nutter-spotting. I saw another on the U-Bahn this evening:

I was on the U2 on the way home from work when a woman got on at Sendlinger Tor, talking to herself. My internal nutter-alarm immediately kicked in, quickly scanning the seatage in my vicinity to check for any danger of her sitting next to me...

Fortunately she chose not to sit in the vacant seat next to me, probably thinking "fuck, I don't want to sit next to him", but sat in the 'booth' on the other side of the aisle and proceeded to talk to the guy opposite her.

To my complete and utter astonishment the guy responded, and by the time the train got to Hauptbahnhof, which I feel I must point out is only one stop away, they were having a full blown conversation! By the time we got to Josephsplatz she'd managed to drag the guys in the other 2 seats into it, and by the time I got off at Scheidplatz I'd had to put my book away to be able to concentrate on what was going on...

I couldn't work out all of what she was saying -- she had a really fucked-up bavarian accent -- but it was something about her wristwatch. The guys answering her seemed to be normal and saying normal things.

That's the first time I've seen that happen. Normally people just completely ignore nutters.

I saw the guitar playing nutter in Rotkreuzplatz the other day. Seems he hangs out in more places than just Schwabing

1. Has anyone seen the 35ish woman who circles the fountain in Marienplatz. I've seen her a few times now when trying to enjoy a pizza slice or a pastry by the fountain. She circles round and round staring everyone in the eye saying over and over again 'Beten ist wichtig'. She's like a bad nightmare of my mother...

2. I think I saw the 'Smudge' guy mentioned earlier, a few nights back on the S-Bahn west from Marienplatz. People were not just staring this time though: he sat down in a seat, and the other 2 people in the 4 seater stood up and walked away. He chose another seat, same reaction. By the end of it he had cleared every seat in the carriage! (well only 4 were occupied) He eventually wandered in my direction and I said a 'Na, wie geht's?' to him. Frigtened the shit out of him I did. I don't think anyone had ever spoken to him before. He fucked off into a corner, eyeing me suspiciously.

Reply to (1) .. yes I have seen her. I was in the photobooth at the Marienplatz U-Bahn on Monday taking some pics for a visa to Kenya when I saw her sitting on the edge by the stairs .. she was indeed muttering 'Beten ist wichtig' to passer-by's. For a minute she started yelling some incomprehensible things, maintaining her scrouched over pose with legs crossed.

I once saw a German comedy show where two guys dressed as polizei were measuring the length of people's socks and telling them they were below regulation size. Saddest is I can actually believe it!!!

Anyone seen that bloke that goes around dressed like Jesus? Long white (well, dirty grey) kaftan thing, sandals, wooden staff, longish hair, scrawny beard. The only thing he doesn't have is the crown of thorns and holes in the hands.

I've seen him a couple of times near Muenchener Freiheit. Does he live there? Or is he just going there to buy bread and fish?

Might be the same bloke I saw hitching a ride on someone's catamaran on Starnberg this summer. Nice enough chap, very talkative. Don't see many eccentrics round here so it is good to know all Germans are not conformist!

... life is so much more interesting when you don't take your medication.

OK what about the two gays who look like brothers (or sisters now that they've obviously been taking hormones to grow breasts) who ALWAYS wear hot pants and skinny tops regardless of whether it's like bleak midwinter or sweltering summer. Any one know what I'm on about?

And secondly, maybe this is just me but I'm sure it's not. Has anyone else noticed that perfectly normal people have no qualms here about rummaging in bins? Christ knows there's no way on god's green earth that I'd stick my hand into ANY bin in England. Any takers on that?

I've seen the 2 guys you're talking about, Karambos. I've seen them a few times, mostly around the Sendlinger Tor area. They'd look like the girls from ABBA if it wasn't for the moustaches.

I've seen those guys as well, but not recently. They always went shopping in Tengelmann near where I live.

chuf_nut

I have often seen complete stragers ask for jobs(lifting, basic numpty work) from people in the UK.

But one guy came up to me a few weeks back and asked if I had any IT web programming vacancies?? He didnt ask me where I worked or what I did, he just asked for this job. Do you class this as a Munich Nutter?

No more than the guy who asked me while I was walking down the street if I spoke English and if I could translate a 20 page technical document for him by the next morning for a patent application. Actually, he must have been a nutter, because he accepted the outrageous sum I said I would charge him. And he paid with a cashier's cheque.

20 pages in one night. Jeez. It must have been serious money. And you must be fast...

A guy once stopped me and a couple of mates in the street because he'd heard us speaking english and wanted us to check his CV and job application for a job in America.

It might just be me, but I consider someone who does that to be a borderline nutter. I mean, I wouldn't just go up to a german in the street and ask him to check my Lebenslauf, or whatever...

Was on the tram home from the office before going to the TT party,

Got on the tram, looked at this guy sitting in a block of 4 seats. Sandals, socks, green cords, huge bum bag, yellow vest thing on... thought not gonna sit there. and so for 2 stops no-one sat there. Everyone got on, saw him and walked pass or stoof.

Then he got up pulled out his MVV ticket inspection card and stuff and started checkign tickets!!!

Maybe they are nutters, or are they MVV ticket instpectors??

Pootle

Nutter on the U-Bahn this morning. He was already yelling at the top of his lungs when he got on. Continued for a minute or so. Then sat down and mumbled to himself the entire time. When he got off, he stood up and yelled again.

Well if I'd known you were there I'd have spoken to you instead of myself.

Has anyone seen my camel?

Ok, I haven´t been here very long, but I did see a nutter at the Seehaus Biergarten a couple of weeks ago. So, when someone has drank as much of their mass as they want, they deposit the leftovers (obviously still in the glass!) on a particular table for the purpose of helping the staff to clean up. This nutter kept his eye on the slops table and ran over there to grab the deposited leftover beer. If a larger beer was then left on the slops table, nutter would return ´his´and pick up much fuller one. Everything seemed to be working out well for him until nutter 2 turned up wanting to play the same game in competion with nutter 1. Moral of the story - as a customer, finish your mass so as not to encourage this type of nutter behaviour.

I've seen those two nutters at the Seehaus myself. Nutter #1 wears a shabby old blazer and has about 2 teeth and isn't very slick in disguising his behavior. Nutter #2 is obviously higher on the pecking order cause he will run off #1 and he stakes out a table at the very back and makes himself look like he's out enjoying a beer whilst reading the paper. The staff are in on it too. They leave partially filled glasses of beer and plates of old food for them on a particular table.

Finally, the perfect way to avoid having to waste drinking time by walking all the way to the less-than-immaculately-maintained bathrooms: simply piss in an empty glass and let one of these nutters dispose of it for you. Ingenious.

What's with this sordid fascination with mentality ill and/or homeless people? Talking about ranting, the posts in this thread read as gleefully libertine, even in humor. Damn, you could paint a picture of intolerant bigots when summed up in total...

Unstable, desperate, ill, addicted humanity as entertainment; FFSGAL.

I remember seeing a film in which a rich guy was violently mugged and left under a bridge, then a group of lads came along, mistook him for a bum and beat him to death, like any nice boy would.

Now isn't that a lovely story.

Terrible people these homeless. Apparently they can turn you to stone just by looking at you!

Don't know why this comes to mind with the current weather but...

Have any of you ever noticed the drunks at Seehause? I regularly see two of them. Sauntering around and trying to look casual while picking up 'dead' glasses! I can't believe how well dressed they are.

One seems to randomly run into the bushes to have a conversation with himself. I just can't get over the fact that his jacket was newer than mine. Probably a millionaire.

Zo... Have you seen him, got and pics? Which other gartens have 'regulars'

Could it be one of these guys?

thank you randy... mental illness is a brain disorder. making fun of 'crazy' people is like making fun of someone with cancer. both groups equally deserve our empathy.

I encountered a nutter in outland last night, weird füka. Kept ordering pints of guinness and then pouring about 5 jägermeister into the pint before walloping it back. jibbering to himself in the corner. even weirda after his 8th pint. felt sorry for him in the end, shoved him in a taxi dunno where he went .

I got home fine thanks!

if someone wants is nutter fair play on them, as long as they are not violent that is. look at the average person on a underground train. boring straightfaced and quiet. i enjoy the fact that some people are in a "world of there own" when your sitting there at your desk or job, dont you drift away lol .

Jesus likes to take the S4 from Pasing at 8:35ish every weekday morning. Seriously. He has a long brown tunic, a beard, sandals and a stick. He doesn't sit down, but walks up and down the train non stop. Come to think of it, I've never actually seen him get on or off though... he just seems to appear and then disappear again...

There used to be a weird woman at Hbf who crouched down in random places saying nothing and then sprang up and ran about screaming for a few seconds before going into the crouching position again. Very entertaining to watch whilst waiting for my train.

Sadly she has not been there for quite a few months now

she works in my office now.