Nasty rash that itches really badly

Ok, so I've noticed this nasty rash recently that itches really badly, especially at night, and I was wondering what fellow TTers think I should do about it?

Thing is, my girlfriend Petra, from Friedenstraße behind the Ostbahnhof, has told me it's probably the detergent I'm using in my washing machine as none of her other boyfriends has noticed a problem. Petra has a really big heart full of love.

Now, I was thinking, it's only since I'd been seeing Petra a few weeks that this problem started and I've been using the same washing powder as before, so maybe it's her that's changed her detergent?

So, what do you think?

Should I:

• Change my washing powder
• Ask Petra to change her washing powder
• Go to the funny clinic that my workmates advised me to visit?

Sandpaper the affected area with a sheet of 110 wet or dry paper and wash it with a sea-salt solution.

Also buy extra roomy underwear, you'll be walking like John Wayne for a week or two.

I frankly don't see how Petra's washing powder can have this effect on you. Or do you wear her clothes?

It could be that your washing machine is getting a bit old, and not rinsing properly. So my advice would be to get the washing machine repairman in to check out your machine.

You're allergic to Petra. Change girlfriend.

Ask one of the lice to see what they think.

I hope Petra at least will do the decent thing and offer you a refund!

Yoghurt

I suggest you opt for a Hauptbahnhof girlfriend, those Ostbahnhof ladies are trouble.

Scratch it!

Yup, what ER said, definitely time for an upgrade. New flat, new girlfriend!

Or make the hike up to the Leierkasten. They have a daily spray down with disinfectant.

It's definitely the detergent. Soak your clothes in horse urin instead, drip-dry them before putting them on and your problem is solved. Ask Petra.

Is this around your belt line?

Sounds like you may have picked up a fungus. Especially if this rash is on your skin where humidity levels tend to be higher. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifungal_drug gives you the meds that will clear this up rather quickly. Can't speak for Germany but clotrimazole, for example, is available over the counter and got rid of my athlete's foot within two/three days.

Edit: or you can try the sandpaper and sea salt. That'd be more tingly.

Eh??

No I don't think the rash is on his skin. It is one of those rashes on his...ummm...errrrrr...dog's arse.

Go to a doctor. You have no other option. It may be something inoccuous but without a clinical examination nobody on this site is really going to be able to help you.

@ J English

Yeah, I should proofread. Christ, that was awful. Thanks, professor.

Don't tell me you've ever sandpapered-and-sea salted your dog's arse though?

The last couple of posts have totally cheered my evening up

@ bluedave: I know, seriously, I'm laughing (mostly at myself)... and the word "nutsak" (I like to stick with medical terminology) hasn't even been brought into the mix yet.

I say, I say, I say my dog has no nose!

How does he smell?

A lot of things smell worse to pregnant women. It's the morning sickness.

Ha!!

A genuine chat up line for Dave...

"wanna come back to my place and look at my Etchings scratchings Itchings"

I'll give anything a go once mate

Like a skunk sprayed him down.

*sorry couldn't resist*

If it was a warmer time of the year I'd say you've got a case of Lyme disease. I had that last summer. An itchy circle-shaped rash. Went to the doc and had it treated.

Note to self: Get eyes checked - I read "than" for "to".

terrible

Ba-dum Tsch!

Ahthankyou

get one of these and tell her its foreplay

THAT was disgusting.