Funny literal translations - Germany

Can anyone help? I am trying to help organize a Christmas English lesson based on bad translation or funny direct translations. For an English group. The problem is that I have a few but my memory is so bad that I can’t remember some of the better ones. I have things like “water rooster� as a translation for wasserhahn, “going downstairs� when standing at the top of a mountain, or “taking a machine� at the airport.

What are peoples favourites. I thought it might be nice to share some of the better ones.

I like the Austrian Post website, English version. The about us section might be what you need.

Under four eyes - Unter vier Augen
Up goes the post - ab geht die Post
Backside Monkey's castle - Aschaffenburg
Equals goes it looose - Gleich geht es los

& the best of all (at the end of each month)

"My go-stop is over meadows" - "mein Gehalt ist überwiesen"

You could even dig out the "lecture to the Oxford Union" by Gerrard Hoffnung
(BBC recording from 1954 I think) with the title "French Widows" with
the memorable invitation from a Tryolean landlady offering holiday
accommodation: "I am not so good in bath - I'm superb in bed"

One German colleague said recently to an American colleague "Don't go me on the cookie" (geh' mir nicht auf den Keks).

My office is apparently more vulgar. The guys always say "Es geht mir auf den Sack". Um, I think you can figure that one out.

Ausziehtisch* - strip tease table
*drop-leaf table

I love that reference to mail carriage, so wonderfully old fashioned.

My German ex- once said, "Yes, I know it's chilly. I'm going to wear a sweater overneath this blouse."

"Overneath?"

"Yes. Overneath it. Just like the blouse is underneath the sweater."

I was howling with laughter and actually rolling on the floor as she became more and more irritated while insisting it was a word. After all, it only makes sense that if you have an underneath you must have an overneath. She looked through every dictionary in the flat and when she finally conceded, she still insisted that she was still right to use that word and English just forgot to put it in.

woof.

Overneath - great new word.

I shall now start campaigning to get it into the dictionaries.

there is a joke/cartoon book called "English for runnaways" - Englisch für Fortgeschrittene. Really funny book, maybe you find it somewhere.

Now can come what wants (Uschi Disl).

which led me to this site: http://www.slapped.de/funx/denglisch.php

One I love to use is:

'This is me totally sausage' - 'Das ist mir Wurst' - 'I don't care at all'

nothing falls into me - es fällt mir nichts ein

Funny Fortune Cookie

My all-time favorite: Now empires it me but! - Nun reicht es mir aber.

The restaurant near work used to have its menu in English on their website. One day we were offered, "Deep fried citizen. With that potatoe snow." I think they were talking about burgers. At least I hope so.