Unspoken words of wisdom

We can all use sound advice so share those little sayings that no one told you about and you had to figure out all by yourself.

I'll start:

If you have diarrhea, wear green underwear so the skid marks don't show.

Better late than pregnant.

Ok, so I didn't have to figure these out by myself but you get the idea.

If a guy wears y-front ribbed underwear that goes from croth to navel don't marry him.

Surely a guy who wears that kind of underwear would be sounding off alarm bells well before you got to the stage of finding out what kind of underwear he wears!

not always!

Never marry a woman who takes an unhealthy interest in your underwear...

Wine is fine, but liquor is quicker.

If at first you do succeed, you must have done something wrong.

If she's got a pulse , good.

"Too much pants is not money" - Famous Prague saying!

Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed

Old enough to pee, old enough for ... parnell apparently

Once you get to the undies stage it's generally too late.
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You'll never hit the target if your eyes are always on the prize.

Uh what the f**k are u talking about ? That's straight from the Dr. Nick Riviera school of medicine.

My mother put a big a sign above my piano which said "practice only on the days you eat"

I learned that about 67% of mothers helpful advice could be sound, it's listening to all of it and figuring out which parts to listen too thats the trick. now most other people give sound advice about 33% of the time so you might be doing well listening to your mom.

Here's one I heard a lot from my mum:
"If you're bored, it's because you're a boring person."
Edit: Ok yes I admit it, Keydeck, I'm dopey all day long, not just in the mornings. I mis-read the title.

Modified version UA for me at least, "if you are bored, TT server is down!"

Remember, where are you now?

From Homer...

You've tried your best and failed miserably...

The lesson is, never try!

If you talk like a cunt, and you act like a cunt, in my book you are a cunt.

- Mind your language lads, there's c*nt about!

- NORWICH

Thank you for your sensitivity to the ladies DD!

Never go out on a first date with a loaded gun - better?

Perfect...thank you!