Flatmate wants money from my visitors

Ok,

so, I have two friends from Canada staying with me for about two weeks. I live in a flat with a roommate and I share half the rent.

My roommate tells me she wants 30€ PER WEEK, for EACH person because they have a shower, use the toilet and the dishwasher (dishwasher, once per week), OR she'll kick them out.

Now first, is 30€ per week right? Does someone seriously use this much water in one week? And second, am I not allow to have friends stay over (in my room), what are the rules?

I have never had this before with a German, or Canadian roommate, none ever cared about people staying over, but this other roommate, is going crazy. I find it ridiculous. No mess at all from us and non stop complaining. Anyhow.

What fun.

Thanks.

seems kind of extreme to me, but if the other person is the main renter, then maybe you need to talk with her. That is an extra 120 Euro, nobody uses that much water and electricity.

Seems pretty unreasonable to me. Sharing a flat is all about give and take...does she never expect to have guests?

There are no "rules" for this and I have honestly never heard of such a thing in any country I have lived in... so far . I would try and come to a compromise with her in any case, so she feels that she won't get ripped off on the water bill, but the figure she has quoted seems excessive.

that's just absurd. going rate is a couple drinks down at the pub for the flatmate, a couple warm and friendly conversations, and a big thank you - and maybe a small gift from Canada (like a bottle of maple syrup).

Nobody who has friends who might want to stay for a few days would ever behave that way. So no, she never expects to have guests. Sorry, you got yourself the room-mate from hell

Now is a good time to look for other WGs ...

your roommate does seem to be handling this badly and unreasonably but I know if I was sharing a flat with someone and they invited two friends to stay for TWO WEEEKS I'd probably blow a gasket too. A few days maybe, one week at a stretch, but a whole fortnight is a long time to have someone else's friends foisted on you. Try and see it from your roommate's perspective and perhaps sit down and talk about it. Maybe you could come to a compromise and travel somewhere with them for some of the time rather than spend all the time imposing on your roommate.

Some truth in that as well.

What nationality is your roommate? Things might be done differently where she's from.

That said, I think that your friends could offer to contribute something, especially since they are staying for two weeks.

take her/him out for a dinner instead, just paying cash and its way to much at that is just so uncivilised. who ever it is is anal. sharing a flat always has this sort of thing going on. thats the whole point, you get to meet new people and by doing so get free accommodation from where they come from (ie canada). do onto others etc...

or move flat.

I think two guests for two weeks is also too much. then again, im an old crotchety bastard.

hell, more than two days, even for my own guests, and I'm climbing the walls and wishing they were gone

So this has been discussed while they are here? How much notice did you give her that they were actually coming? You will probably find that she is mad at the sudden invasion of privacy and this is her way of venting her anger

Even if it's a long time to stay, it's no reason to demand €120 Euros from them for staying. I agree, the situation could have perhaps been handled better, maybe we need more details from RH.

By the way, she has someone else staying in her room for a whole month and is charging her too, so the whole 'blow a gasket' thing is rediculous as well.

She SPECIFICALLY said, they must pay for the 'water and electricity they use'.

And as for the warning that my friends were coming, she knew more then a month in advance.

Well, if she's charging the person staying with her, she probably figures it's only fair that yours pay too. The difference being of course, they are your guests. Guests don't pay, period. Guests can clean up, make dinner, buy dinner, buy drinks and buy presents, but they don't pay.

Maybe your friends will get a better deal if you draw up an 18 page, notarised contract.

So much per sheet of toilet paper, so much per flush, so much per five minutes of showering with the following temperature parameters, rent of portions of the breakfast table etc.

I think you will find that it's the small gestures, like weighing your guests before they use the toilet, that will bring everybody together in a joyous celebration of flatsharing.

Yes, and we haven't been here most of the time anyway. We're out almost all day and this new person (the one living in her room) is the one who will move in when I leave here in November.

glad I don't live in your flat RH. Think I'd go nuts with all these longstay guests hanging about.

so your roommate has kindly (and maybe stupidly) let her move in to her room fora few months before you move out. Don't you think it was a little insensitive to invite your friends to stay for this long given *that*?

I'm guessing his friends booked their flights long before the new flatmate showed up. And it's not R-H's problem who his flatmate decides to share rooms with, as it shouldn't be for her either.

does she get sex often, this chick? utilities for both would be maximum 20 euros per week. if she"s charging her friends too then i guess its ok, but it is something she should have cleared up before. it"s incredably bad form to dump that on you when they are already there.

@BTC, why should RH be sensitive about the stupidity of his flat mate?

Don't quite understand how its relevant...

Couldn't agree more. Try to find another room-mate. This is just sick. Good guests always try to give back rather than take-take-take. But if I still shared a flat and my room-mate asked me for money cause my friends were visiting: I'd flip. And I have plenty of WG-experience. So this is not normal.

its just the thought of bringing two friends to kip over in a shared flat for such a great length of time. At any normal time I would not do that to anyone else and I would hate to have it done to me. It seems more insensitive to me because your roommate is already having to put up with an invasion of privacy from someone else.

But then I have this thing about my privacy - back in London I had a lodger and I felt continually invaded ...

Its a bit odd anyway that she is having RH's replacement living in her room in the meantime, that is completely different to having friends to stay.

Btc, I could never have lodgers either, I have enough problems with my own family being in the house!

Bell, you seem to be great with assumptions. She was showing the room for the past 2 weeks.
She knew they would come a month BEFORE they came. She then moves someone in before my lease is up.
and I'M RUDE? What the hell are you talking about.

Continually invaded eh? Are you a heavy sleeper Bell? Or did your lodger look a little like this:



Just kidding.

2 weeks is a fairly long time, agreed. But it's only 2 weeks, not frigging months. It's not insensitive to have friends come and visit you from overseas.

It sounds like the roommates invasion of privacy is self inflicted and she is taking it out on RH. You should point this out to her, different kettle of fisch etc..

my lodger was actually a good friend and we get on fine now that he is my tennant. But while I was living in the house with him, I longed for the evenings when I would come home and he wouldn't be sat in the sitting room watching TV. I knew I was being completely unreasonable but I couldn't help how I felt.

@RH

okay, your roommate does sound a little strange and yes moving the next person in without consulting you is outrageous. Don't envy you though, that kind of conflict going on in the place you live must be no fun at all.

Nope, fun is a word that doesn't exist here. We have that elsewhere. Great, isn't it?

fantastic. Vorwiegen toileting.

I think *almost* all my flat mates have had guests stay. One, an american, had both her parents stay for a week and a half. Recently another had two friends stay for a week.

I was always given good warning and we never had a problem. That is how it goes when you have guests. So I really don't understand where this person is coming from.

Guests normally don't stay for two whole weeks. I have to say I sympathise with your housemate. It sounds like you currently have five people living in a 2-person flat, which is far from ideal. Considering how much accommodation costs in Munich, I would say that €30 per week isn't unreasonable, especially if it improves relations with your flatmate. However, this may not be much of a consideration if you are moving out at the end of the month anyway.

think i am with STB here...2 weeks stay in a flat that is built for 2 and doubling the people sounds like a head ache, pay up the €30pp and then look for a new flat if you need to
btw €30 per person per week is very reasonable

Ok I actually disagree here. I think yes if you are renting a room to someone and they have guests for two weeks it is a bit much, however it sounds a bit like this person is trying to reduce the cost of her normal rent and using this as an excuse. so we have three extra people staying in a 2 room flat and she is charging 30 euros per week for each. Thats ninety euros! two weeks for that and its one hundred and eighty euros! Thats three hundred and sixty a month?!? Three hundred and sixty and month for electricty??? sorry I don't care how many craps and showers people take a day that is crazy!

On the other side it's just poor show. When you let this person know that the guests were coming did she tell you oh thats all right however against the nuclear power plant and water plant we commision to accomadate these guests I will be charging an extra thirty euros pro head pro week. If not tell her blatently to fuck off.

Was your flatmate clear about these financial expectations when you informed her you would have two guests? If not, fuck her. Perhaps it is a culture difference as well, but when you invite someone to stay with you, in general a fee is not required. The fact your flatmate is charging her friend makes her catty and cheap...and the fact that she thinks one person consumes that much electricity and water each week makes her ignorant. Do you have a meter that somehow differentiates the utilities each of you consume monthly? Doubtful, unless the hot water in the shower turns off after a certain amount of time like it does in my flat

Drinks, dinner, sound sufficient to me...but then again I am a American.

OK. So she has someone sharing her room until you move out and is charging them? Well, you are entitled to a drop in rent as there are more people sharing the apartment, and the money that she is charging your friends is to be divided between you and her. Play it by her rules if that is what she wants.


Eh? That's a new one

Speak for yourself. You're from the UK, your friends can come for a long weekend anytime they want for cheap. Guests from Canada can come once a year to once a lifetime and spend a lot of money simply on airfare; they will stay longer.

How much is your deposit R-H? Because I doubt you'll see much of it at the end of November from her when you move out.

It's true that 2 more people will use up more of the household items, whether toilet paper or electricity. So I'd say it'd be fair of them to go shopping to restock the place once or twice, and maybe take you out to dinner and bring your flatmate a bottle of nice wine or something. But again, paying is too much. It's not the amount that matters, it's the fact that they are guests.

I find it weird that she would charge your guests. I agree with Showem, long distance guests stay longer. Would she charge you if they were your parents?

I think you should find another flat. If not, make sure you charge her for her guests too!

Is she poor or something? Desperate for money?

She just sounds like a tight misery guts who doesn't understand the concept of friendship or hospitality. Good thing you're moving out.

Don't let her charge your guests. Tell her that is uncivilized. Tell her that you will pay their "fee". She asks for water and electricity usage. After your guests are gone, ask for the water bill and electricity bill for the last time that TWO people were in the apartment on a regular basis. Then compare it to your month (after the fact, of course). Agree to pay the difference.

Tell your guests that you plan to work it out with your crazy roommate later. Don't let her tell them that they have to pay.

Oh, and then dispute the charges based on mental anguish and and offset it with your hourly rate of consultation of TT of said subject. By then it will be November and you will be outta there.
You didn't pay a deposit, right?

Well said..

How did these free-loaders expect to get away with free accommodation?

I suppose it was just two weeks whilst the Ofest was on... Getting home drunk, making a noise etc.. Tea coffee, toilet roll, warm water etc.

Find me anywhere else in Munich that you can get that rate for the ofest season?

I suppose it would have been different if they were her mates..but they aint, so tough!

on a side note, I had 3 guests stay with me for the world cup... they used more hot water in 6 weeks than I used in 18months...

So, the measly sum of 120€ is upsetting you?? Get an evening job and try finding the real world!!

Or I should rephrase that to Grinner being a tight misery guts with no understanding of friendship or hospitality!

Smiley or not... piss off!

Feeling a bit grumpy today...?

Flatshares and guests staying is always a problem and as intimated by a few here already, even if they are your own guests it can get old very quickly.

I think it's harsh however to actually charge them a rent and would agree that presents brought with them and a couple of meals and sherbets during the stay should suffice.

I had originally considered that 2 weeks does seem excessive but then was brought up short by Showem pointing out the difference between Brit visitors and our colonial cousins travelling much further across the pond. That said, financial outlay doesn't register on the human tolerance meter

I don't know about you all, but the reason that I have friends is to enjoy their company. I would never image to try and make things even.

If she is German, she should be a representative of Germany and show kind compassion to foreigners that are experiencing her "culture" and "country". Blah blah blah... I am not going to get into being a diplomat, but we all represent our culture and country at all times.

My last roommate was from Columbia, and her family and friends would come and stay for months on end. It is just part of their culture to do so. When would be the next time they would get to experience and "enjoy" something that is educational and fun. But it works both ways though too, now I have places to stay when I go to Columbia.

It is not about freeloading. It is about spending time with your friends and family, whilst learning about something different.

@R-H charge her for the international experience, say 30€ a week for the time period should suffice for the constant cultural experience you are giving her. Where else can she learn about your culture on a daily basis. Charge her.

I assume you share costs such as electricity and water anyway?

If so, then tell your flatmate that you expect half the money of her guest and you will pay her half the amount (€15) for your guests and keep the other half for yourself. That way you will be paying a total of €15 a week as one of your guests and her guest cancel each other out.

How can she take rent from her guest and your guests and you don't see a cent of either?

In fact as your flatmates guest is staying longer - insist that this guest share the €30 between the 2 of you. Why is your flatmate entitled to the entire subsidy of her own guest?

Alternatively, tell your flatmate that as she is receiving money from her guest and keeping it for herself, you will be charging your guests and keeping that money for yourself too.