Ice breakers

Ok, so i was chatting to a young lady of my acquaintance last night and we somehow got on to the subject of how to engage someone of the opposite sex in conversation upon first meeting them.

The general consensus was that guys have a much harder time of it in that we have to utilise an initial scattergun tactic of lots of different subjects to learn what topics of conversation a lady might be interested in, handbags, shoes, travel, fashion, restaurants etc etc etc

For the women however it is really easy, talk about anyone of 3 subjects and you have the guy's attention immediately :- Sex, beer and football / sport, additional to that may be cars or other hobbies but the big three topics still stand.

Would you agree with that or am i just being shallow and chauvinistic ?

We've had the thread about chatup lines but this is a bit different, how would you normally go about opening a conversation with someone you are attracted to ? and i don't mean " get your coat love, you've pulled "

Dave, if you ever started talking to me about handbags, I'd think you've gone off the deep end. You and I talk all the time- about all kinds of things. Would it be different to talk to another woman you've just met?

points for trying, but if a guy knows more about shoes than i do... or ANYTHING about women's shoes at all... unless he's al bundy or works in the industry... that's suspect

Yes, also if a guy started talking to me about shoes I'd think one of three things:
1. He thinks I'm so stupid that the only conversation I can carry on is one about footwear.
2. He thinks I'm high-maintenance and shallow.
3. He's trying too hard to get laid.

Edit:
4. He's gay (or just extremely meterosexual)

Whatever springs to mind.

edit: That wasnt helpfull. Erm, I guess a comment on the place we're in. Just to start "shootin the shit" as an American friend of mine would say.

No 3 Jenny, No 3

Theres heaps of things that arent specifically male or female and everyone can talk about, but theres only a few things you can really start a conversation with a stranger about, and usually it has to do with the circumstances where you are meeting, like if you were meeting at a linux users group meeting you could talk about linux shit, if you were meeting at the sauna you could talk about that.

In the pub though, fuck knows... "So you come here often" sounds cheesy, I would probably stick to the weather and then move on to religion and politics, but hey I suck at this, I usually wait until theres a reason to talk to them or they talk to me.

If your a smoker its easier, just borrow a lighter, and when they reach into their handbag you can look inside and get clues on what to talk about next, like there might be a book or a lucky charm or something inside. (Ok so im obviously not an expert on the inside of chicks handbags either, which i am quite happy about thankyou!)

What? You? Nah.

Aw, that's not really fair. I wouldn't consider dave to be chauvanistic. Not really. And most definitely not shallow.

Excuse me I just farted. I really do hope it doesnt smell too bad.

My favoourite is the Viz Sid the Sexist.

"Ya divvent sweat much for a fat lass"

Even better just throw some Ice(Not too hard) on the table break it and say "There´s the ice breaker"..atleast u have her smiling... :-)

pure class !

Do people really have a hard time talking to strangers? I've never had that. Maybe it's because I talk too much - but I don't ever recall really struggling to have a conversation with anyone. There's loads of stuff to chat about.

He's not joking. He really would.

@JL
Starting one can be tricky, that first opening sentence, but once its all underway I am usually pretty comfortable too.

But your a chick, you dont have to start it.

Just be yourself, smile and try to get her/ him to smile with you. And don't try too hard. Weather, religion and politics seem like sure showstoppers.

Actually my usual one is "so are you here with Toytown?"

Another Ice Breaker

He : "How much does a Polar Bear cost?"
She: "Dont know n dont care"
He: "I dont either but i know it weighs enough to break the ice"

Psmith, if anyone ever said that to me, I would hit them over the head with the nearest heavy object. I find that physical contact is actually the quickest way to break the ice.

How about

(You) "Are you waiting to be served?"

(Her) "Yes."

"Wow. You wouldn't if you were drinking what I'm drinking."

"Why, what are you drinking?"

"Mine's a pint, thanks for asking. I'll be sitting over there."

Have you met people? The ones that aren't brain-dead illiterates are usually a$$holes. And those are the ones who actually have something to say. Sometimes talking to a stranger is like pulling teeth. Particularly in this country, I've often found myself having said something only to met by a blank stare and silence. It takes every ounce of reserve to keep from saying, "Right. I've finished talking, now you speak. This is how conversations work." At that point, we're well on our way to the 9th concentric ring of smalltalk hell: the weather. Talking to people you don't know is brutal, thankless, empty work.

Edit: Almost done with another soul-sucking week at work. I'll be chipper next week.

"Talking to people you don't know is brutal, thankless, empty work."
Yes, and some of us should really be paid lots more money to do it for a living.

I'm with Kza, the venue you are in is usually a good starting point. If it's packed, you can talk about that, if it's hot, you can talk about that. If it's packed because of some event taking place, you can say something like, "Boy, I never thought so many people would come out to see the Pope, did you?" or vice versa. If the service has just been snotty to them, you can sympathise. If the roof is about to cave in, you can warn them. It's not hard, just requires a bit of imagination.

Apparently people decide within the first few seconds whether you are attractive to them. If they don't talk back I suppose it is safe to assume they do not find you interesting. Their loss then

Well, there's your problem right there, UpQuirk. You've been hitting on Germans. Ok, seriously though- Germans do sometimes make absolutely horrid conversationalists. I was thinking more of the English speaking crowd.

Edit: Yeah, Showem's right. Trying teaching "Conversational English" to a group of German IT geeks.

Man : " I shouldn't be drinking this cocktail with what i've got "

Woman : " Why, what have you got ? "

Man : " About 2 euros "

I'm referring to conversations in general, not trying to chat someone up.

OMG, Dave! You tried that one on me the other day in the Outland!

Edit: @UpQuark- Yeah, I know. I'm just teasing you. Sorry.

Yeah? Im sure it probably has mostly to do with what you said to them in the first place. What did you say? Ending your speechs with a question helps prompt the other party to respond I find.

On a slightly offtopic tangent i see that Kza has not only passed IW in the post rankings but is indeed starting to pull away from him

Kza remembers quite a bit from those how to seduce women websites. He's right, a question is a big psychological thing for someone to ignore.

Its been one of those weeks

EDIT: Showem you remember far too much too, but since I dont need it anymore, I shall share the wealth (WARNING: This is powerful stuff). Your still not getting my panty melting playlist though!

"Hey, lady, did you ever have your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?"

Yes, ask questions, but also try not to ask only questions where you'll get a yes/no answer. Or if you do, follow it up with an open question.

"What do you do?"

"I'm an engineer"

(Yawn) "Oh really? Do you like it?" followed up by "How'd you decide to become an engineer?"

NOW, if your conversation partner fails to respond by asking you similar questions, abandon ship. It's hopeless to try to talk to someone who can't follow up with their own questions.

Kza, I'm not sure of when I'll next be in need of a whole playlist of panty-melting tunes, but I know where to turn if I do.

Yeah, Jimbo complained about my memory too I recall...

Open your mouth, and let shit just flow baby, flow. Ooh yeah. Flow. I'm talking flow baby. Forget stupid lines, basically forget trying anything. Why talk about handbags and shoes or shit, you know nothing about it, and women do. A bloke trying to talk about handbags and shit is like somebody trying to strike up a conversation with a nuclear scientist with the line "so, atoms. They're well small eh"

I always just open my gob and spout shit about whatever train of lah-lah land thought is running through my brain at that particular time, and I never have much probs talking to strangers. Get alot of people screaming and running away quickly, calling the police etc, but well, you know, people react differently.
Anyway, if its things to talk about you need, I would today suggest:

1 - cheese, nice or well nice?

2 - what if people were made out of potato, what do you think that would be like?

3 - so, atoms. They're well small eh.

For those interested in this fascinating subject you need to go and read a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss. He spent 2 years as a "pickup artist".

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/...=UTF8&s=gateway

The expression for what you are seeking is "chick crack". These are subjects that the girls in theory like, and yet for the average guy is like pullling teeth.


From the observer article here:

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/st...1565502,00.html

Now I do not at this point wish to hear from all the intellectual girls on this forum who say "Oh god, I hate astrology". This is of no interest to us. We are talking about average girls in the street, of average intelligence, and a better than average chance of dropping their drawers on a first date - that is the TARGET market in "The Game".

I have no friggin' idea why girls believe in fortune tellers and shite like that - but I know plenty that are well into the subject.

Whilst very drunk with 3 Lions a while ago I actually struck up conversation with a stranger to settle an argument. My line?

"So - do you remember what kind of car Bergerac drove?"

She did as well. 3 Lions was right. (a 1947 Triumph 1800 Roadster btw)

When I first met Inflatablewoman, one of the first things he started talking about was spray cheese. And it made me really like him, firstly because I love spray cheese, but secondly because it was funny and interesting.

Oh yeah and in the book - it does say to avoid all the obvious cock subjects like what you do for a job...they are like sooooooooooo dull.

I think spray cheese was on page 23, but I need to grab my copy back to check.

I think JE has got it just about bang on, i've also met loads of women who love the old astral instruction, never understood why ?

Unless you are a spy, or a jet pilot.

It was the first thing that came to mind. La deee daaaaa.

or a photographer. Tried that in Ibiza multiple times and it worked pretty well.

Being a lawyer however is a bad first line.

I have already decided on my "alter ego". I am gonna be a "Test Rider for KTM, based in Austria, but travelling the world for testing in different climates etc".

Just the correct degree of exciting-enough-but-believable.

With luck they have never heard of KTM, so an excuse to crap on about Paris-Dakkar offroad racing etc. I also know "just" enough about the subject to make it work.

Damn - if only I was single, younger and better looking I would be fighting them off with these skills!!!

Haha, the job talk reminds me of my youthful single days. Conversation had already been initiated, but had slipped to the question of "What do you do?" quite quickly. I made a bet I could guess what they did within 3 guesses and that they wouldn't be able to guess what I did in 20. Guys were easy because they were all over as engineers or programers. I was a lifeguard at the time though, so they never got it. I usually put a bet of a drink on it. Never went thirsty.

I always go with the travelling dolphine trainer thats looking for work.

What about:

Do you like fruit? Fancy a suck of my cock then? Its a peach.

Do you like flowers? Get your two lips (tulips) round me cock.

Do you like chicken? Suck me cock, its foul (fowl)

Do you like jewelery? Suck me cock, its a gem.

etc, etc.

When I was in my 20's and working in the city I can remember the "work" topic cropping up so I said.

I am one of these three, take a guess:

1. Dustman
2. Work in McDonalds
3. City Broker

No ****ing surprise they guessed wrong - twice.

Tuca nicked all those from Viz!

I brought ancient Viz comics from Brtitain. Can't open them yet as my kids will tear them to bits or the youngest might eat them!