How to destroy your accountant's reputation

Here is my problem: Gave my receipts to my accountant (slow but efficient last year) in the middle of March, havent heard from him in 6 months, decided to email him...no response. Decided to call him, he says he has been very busy, and hasnt gotten to them yet. Told me it would be done at the end of the week, that he would call me. I called him on last Thursday, he said he has some IT problems and that he would call me by Friday for sure.

Its Monday. I emailed him...but i had a strong feeling to call him. His secretary answered and said he was on vacation for 2 weeks!!! FUCKING HELL. IM MAD. He has all my accountanting papers and all my receipts from last year.

Who can i report him to? How?
I want to ruin this mans career. Destroy him. I dont even want to be reasonable. (well i do want my taxes done) Im so angry that he lied to me.

Please advice...someone...before I kidnap his youngest and burn down his house.

Oh, lying to your face like that is not professional... I can understand you being mad. He obviously did not brief his secretary!

Don't have any advice on the tearing him to shreds bit though...

This is an accountant.
Your fury will leave him cold.
Go shred some paper instead - paper shredders are the new supplier of instant calm.
You could also find a photo of him somewhere, print it off and then bung that through the paper shredder.
It won't destroy his business.
It won't destroy his holiday.
It will make you feel better.

PS He's probably got you an extension until the end of September with the tax office - although late, your papers are likely to go in before the deadline even with his holiday.

There has to been some place where you can go to complain about incompetent accountants!!!
BLAHHHHHHHH!!!Why does everything have to be so difficult here??? I DONT WANT AN EXTENSION - I gave him my papers in MARCH.

You can name and shame .

he isnt incompetent he's just slow and not giving you the service you expect. get him to do this years then change accountant. trying to destroy him is a complete waste of energy, and makes you look like a bitter and twisted.

success is the best revenge, take your business elsewhere next year & tell him why, and tell him you've told all your friends & associates how incompetent he is.

Geez I hope nothing happens to him while hes away, or you are fucked. Ask Scott Watson.

Aye, but obviously get your papers back in one piece before naming/shaming and changing accountants. *hugs*

oh and be careful, accountants can fuck you back too.

the deadline isn't until december, is it?
he's got loads of time

It's interesting this. I quite like my accountant. He was painfully slow, missed deadlines, got extensions, we had the tax office calling us a couple of times with scary demands etc. We got there in the end finally.

I just take this as normal life. Like everyone is always later than they should be, things always go wrong etc. I actually get amazed when stuff happens correctly on time etc.

Actually I realised my whole job/purpose in life as a self-employed person is simply to chase people and fix fuckups.

Once you accept everything is gonna be a cockup it gets much easier to deal with life.

I understand your feelings but you should not even joke this way. Seriously.

Relax and wait two weeks. This is Germany. I know loads of people who, despite strict regulations, don't do their taxes for years and are still happy people.

did mine in march

What is starting to scare me is that I think they actually read the returns etc.

Back in the UK you could do your tax returns for 100 years and never get a query.

Over here they are actually asking questions after the return! Dumb irrelevant questions I might add, but it appears that they are actually reading the returns and querying stuff.

If they carry on in that direction, and still do not stock fish in the supermarkets, me and Germany are gonna fall out bigtime.

Some of us like order in life. I dont know, i thought i was being very easy going lettíng this go on so long after 6 months. I dont pay people to be inefficient. I pay for a service, and i expect that the service is done...in a reasonable amount of time. 6 months is plenty of time. Restaurants...i expect bad service, Telecom...i expect nothing. I can tolerate bad service from certain service industries.
But a professional like an accountant...who is handling my money...no i do not expect shitty service - especially since i spent hours organizing my receipts and labelling them so that it would be easier for him.

i really dont want to harm this man- im just pissed off right now and need to let out some steam. I absolutely hate unprofessional behaviour from professionals.

@farlands - i thought i did them in March too.

if you are really that mad, then i would suggest you go to his office and demand all your paperwork back (right now), leave a letter were you cancel the agreement, if anything is missing etc, you will hold him reliable, breach of trust etc. you can also write that you will report him to verbraucherzentrale or something
accountants are not as secure in their business anymore.

the secretary told me she isnt allow to access the paperwork, that i have to wait until he returns.

what is a verbraucherzentrale? and where can i get to them?

Me too. It's just reality that keeps getting in the way.

order is *hugely* over-rated imo
still, each to their own, i suppose...

I dunno - I am walking chaos, but have finally caved in and brought in help to straighten out my life. (To do lists that were years old, boxes of papers sitting around, strange contracts that needed filing, etc. )

It's kind of weird having only one thing on the desk at a time, but - wierdly enough - I work more efficiently.

Well, let's see if it lasts..

maybe that:
http://www.bstbk.de/

or ask your new accountant (unless you do it by yourself now) what to do. he/she should know.

@ddbug - i once brought showem a fridge magnet back from SF "dull women have tidy kitchens". that sums the two of us up pretty well.

i agree, a *bit* more organised is good, as long as you don't take it too far

I dont think expecting my accountant to do his job qualifies as me being dull?

However, making sure the people you pay to organizing your life for you..so its a little easier to live...well, it would make sense, no? It would just be the smart thing to do, wouldnt it?

Who precisely are you calling dull, Missy?
Life improves dramatically when you can actually see the surfaces in your home.
But I do my own tax returns. Every March in fact.

did you set a deadline? is there an official deadline for your returns?

1. Goto his office and demand you documents back
2. Refuse to pay him, or if you already did demand a reimbursement,
3. Find yourself another accountant, or even better head over to HILO, they are just as good as any $$$ accountant, but are usually alot cheaper (Their fee is based on % of income) Their located all over DE and you might even be able to find someone that speaks english in your local office.

@ Topsy - then I must be the least dull person on the planet. Or was until last month.

@ Katrina - you sound like the woman I hired, and like my best friend, and my mom, and my second in line incase the first woman gives up on me If everyone were as chaotic as me (and I guess Topsy and Showem) it would be scary.

I'm an accountant and I'm not a dork well, sort of. I mean sort of an accountant, not the dork part.

My former employer is legally obligated to prepare my tax returns for the time they sent me to Germany. For the 2004 return, I sent them my info last summer. They filed it A FEW MONTHS AGO. And this is a big 4 accounting firm! Then I got an email week before last that they needed my 2005 info asap because they had to file my return by Sept 15. They just don't get as bunched up about timing here as we do in the US I guess.

6 months is a reasonable time for anyone to get taxes done. If i wanted to wait 6 months, i couldve done it myself.

@ darkknight. Thats the most useful advice so far. Thanks.

How in God's name does any of this affect your everyday life? In other words, what do you care when he does your taxes? I'm happy I have someone to do my taxes for me because I'd be completely and totally fucked if I had to do them myself. Has he actually missed any deadlines or got you into serious shit with the Finanzamt? If not, I don't see why this should qualify as bad service really.

Edit: It can also happen that even if your accountant turns your taxes in on time, the Finanzamt will keep them for awhile. I didn't get my 2002 taxes back until sometime in the 1st quarter of 2005 because the Finanzamt had their heads up their asses.

Can his secretary tell you if the extension has been applied for?

Yeah, if someone was doing me a favour and doing them for free...i'd be easy going too. But when you are a paying a few hundred euros for a service that is not done...trust me, you would have a different view on life. If i wanted an extention or whatever, i could done them myself - but i dont, and i dont have the patience to do it, so i pay people to do things for me...the only thing i ask, is that it is done...and done right.

@katrina, i dont know. I was speaking english and she spoke to me in german, so i have to get someone to call again to get the clearer details. She just keep on saying '2 weeks, Im so sorry, but call back in 2 weeks'

I pay for my taxes to be done as well. I still don't quite see what you're getting your shorts in a bunch about. I suppose you could either try a different Steuerberater next year or give them a go yourself.

I understand the frustration.
I pay people to do things I cannot (be organised) or will not (sew) or am not qualified to (taxes) do properly.
When I do finally get around to organizing a professional to do these things, I expect them to be quick and efficient - as my customers expect me to be in my line of work (the only place I seem to be able to keep my head on)

Yes, but has he actually missed his deadlines or forgotten to file for extensions or similar? If not, then why make an issue of a non-issue?

Anyways- back on topic- how to destroy someone. I don't know- my neighbor poisoned her husband with rat poison a long time ago. This is definitely not something you should do. She ended up in a mental institution.

I think TO has every right to be pissed off, she has called this guy a few times, and he is jerking her around. That is not professional on his part. She took her stuff in March expecting it to be done then, 6 months later she has no idea what is up. I would want to rip his balls off, then force them down his throat too.
I would try calling the finanzamt and asking them if they have any advice. And then start looking for a new accountant for next year.

@Topsy- I must be a very dull person then, as I am extremely organized.

@Jenny_L

The Avg. turn around time for a persons tax claim from the Finanzamt is around 4-6 weeks. It also depends on when you send it in. Sometimes if you send it in late or after the filing time, it gets processed faster. Sending it in on time or at the beginning of the season, will always take longer as thats when everybody else sends theres. Sending it later, goes faster, cause the FA doesn't have a big a workload. Of course this all Depends on your Finanzamt.

I think Toronto is just "having a rant". Works for me. I have the occasional "rant" about Telekom and German supermarkets etc on the forum. Kinda nice way to let off steam. Not to be taken seriously and I bet a tenner she is more chillled already on the issue.

Fair enough. That's fine- it was just all very unclear to me if there was actually any "wrongdoing" involved. Rant away.

Jesus, it wasn't meant as a personal attack on people who are organised - good luck to them.
It was more of a self-affirmation for the likes of DDBug, ShowEm and myself.
Plus, an (obviously failed) attempt at humour.
Humour and organisation will now be added to the list of things I'm a failure at...

I'm still really confused about this - when is the deadline for tax returns? Isn't it December?

In fact I have a quick list of rants with no purpose here:

1. D-Telekom - incompetent cocksuckers.

2. The idiots that designed the .htaccess password systems.

3. The lawyer that put together my new office contract that is totally unsignable.

4. The guys in China that are 8 weeks behind on my manufacturing.

5. The hopeless knobs at my Volvo garage.

6. My suppliers that are currently late with all my stock.

Man...I could go on for ages like this. But actually I am very relaxed today.

Life is just a series of pointless exercises until we drop dead from something nasty.

If you're an employee then it's the end of May. Or so I thought.

Sooner you do it the sooner you get your money though. Most of my mates who paid someone to do it had to wait a year, and they got back peanuts. He made them hunt down all sorts of shit (neccessitating spending heaps of time, taking days off work etc) I mean identifying and finding all the relevant paperwork is the hard bit, copying the numbers onto the tax form is the easy bit! I would pay someone to do the former no worries, but the latter I do quite easily myself.

I recommend doing it yourself.

if you're an employee, you've got 2 years to do it
i've got until Dec 31st 2006 to submit returns from 2004 - have had this confirmed by tax office.

*reminds self to get act together*

Precisely. And it's easier to get down to doing it on a cold, rainy February day than a sunny day in October.

Whew - plenty of time (I hope my "organizator" is not reading this )

the only problem is, DDBug, that I had "plenty of time" to do the 2003 returns, but somehow that time just flew by (you know how it is ) so I ended up missing the deadline...

*runs off to check stack of tax papers for last year actually filed*

Surely there must be some kind of Steuerberaterkammer or something that deals with complaints about registered tax consultants or something, isn't there?