Letting her down gently

None of which are strictly 'must' reasons for marrying. Why marry at all in fact? (tax and health insurance I guess)

Yup, I can understand you really mean that, and that's exactly what I'm sure was putting this guy off just telling me to get lost...but it doesn't help in the end. I have been getting more and more clingy and calling him all the time, then getting annoyed at myself for doing it...and still he couldn't bring himself to say it to me. It really, really doesn't solve anything.

I know it's difficult to do, but you will feel better about yourself afterwards for respecting her enough to tell her the truth.

Well the girl is from a sort of Asian Family where its common for the women to marry young like 20.. but shes 26 and im 24

i'd marry her then. do you realise how difficult it is to find a women who wants to do this? there are suicide bombers in heaven who'll feel cheated when they look down on you.

aggh but you're 24. loads of time yet. dump and find new girl.

I disagree. You're still going to let her think that there is a chance of you getting back together. If somebody wanted to dump me I would rather they say that I'm just not the one.

you make it sound like they are the sort of ultimate characteristics in a woman

Wow - I thought at that age it was understood everyone is just a shag buddy?

no i didnt mention cooking and ironing. i dont think thats possible.

ah ok, fair enough I guess.

i dont know what it is, but i've always had a thing for asian girls

Send her a link to this thread, maybe she comes back!

Now that was me, the eternal optimist talking.

Anyway, don't lie, if possible. Only if necessary. Dump the 3 weeks' girl and enjoy your life. Relationships, women and sex are not everything. Maybe if you got some social life, you'd feel easier about all this... you are too young to settle, don't stress over it.
Try to get in touch with your ex, she might be worth it, still!

Good luck.

is it more for the physical characteristics or the (percieved) stereotypical cultural aspects of "asian girls"?

when it comes to physical qualitities, you like what you like. but be careful with the cultural aspects - while there tends to be an aspect of women being submissive in asian cultures, this does not mean that women are passive. I know some philipino girls that could kill you in a heart beat, and i know some chinese girls who are very skilled with ropes and whips. Even so, if you like the typical roles that women play in asian societies, you better educate yourself on the roles that men are supposed to play (i.e. you may be expected to be responsible for the well being of the entire extended family). and yes, these comments are based on stereotypes, personal experience and stories, and I do not claim to be an expert on asian societies / cultures.

oh, and regading the psycho girl: boil your bunny ahead of time.

ps. I'm in Singapore for work at the moment. you would love it here, 666.