Using "Du" or "Sie" on TV and in movies

I've noticed this for quite a while - even more since I've been living with my German girlfriend who watches more German TV than I do.

On television or in the movies, the characters on the shows do not use "Du" or "Sie" as people do in real life. I've seen movies where people in their 20s and 30s are out on a date and calling each other "Sie" - or soap operas where an entire work-place appears to be under the age of 40 - and everyone is per "Sie". Seems to be the same, regardless of whether it's an original German soundtrack or dubbed from English. In movies or shows translated from English, it's not till the bloke first kisses the woman that they go by "Du" - and these are recent shows/films. I could understand if they were from the 50's and that's how social conventions were then.

I know it's a trivial point, but it irritates me...

Great spot Hazza. Saw a film once when they slept with each other and the first question in the morning was "Would you like coffee?" but using sie. Quite bizarre!!

what is the difference between du and sie?

Yes, it sounds very artificial. No clue why they do that.

Are you serious?

I actually hate using Sie, find it so impersonal.

one could claim that "Du" is too personal in certain circumstances though

If you hate it, no problem just tell the other person that its ok to use Du.

'cos I dont know what I am doing, I use "sie" a lot.

For instance just started using "du" with my friendly motorbike dealer that I must have met I guess 20 times.

No idea if this is acceptable, although of course have only ever been "ticked off" for using "Sie" when people think I should use "du" - never the other way around.

Got myself in a pickle down at the rowing club. I tried to say "Have you got many people here for 2pm training" when I meant "all the people at the rowing club" as the Sie, not the trainer. (if that makes sense).

So he says I should use "Du" in sports situations - which I kinda knew. But no way was my german good enough to then try and explain I meant the plural you.

Hazza, you live in a "Du" world but the "Sie" world still exists. I am "per du" with very few people here, all of my co-workers are Sie, if I meet anyone new even informally they are Sie until we establish differently. Although funnily enough if I meet someone German but we start off speaking English and then switch to German they are usually "Du" right away. I guess the English takes the formality away.

TV usage sounds stilted to me too. It's more they way "they" think it ought to be than the way it really is.

Which of course I do!

So you "Du" do you?

Hazza, is the soap that your girl watches Verliebt In Berlin?
The main character, Lisa, uses Sie to talk to her sometimes boyfriend Rocco - even when they are having a cosy evening at home, it is still Sie, which is bizarre especially as both are under 30.

I always say "Du" Arsch to a policeman !!
It just sounds better than "Sie" Arsch...

Topic split: Addressing a German policeman as "Du"

Ba doom tish!!

Ja, this bugs me too some times, although I gotten so used to it, it doesn't annoy me as much as it used to.

For example, years ago when I watched the X-Files, I always wondered, would Mulder ans Scully use "Sie" if they were native German speakers - I don't really think so, yet they do in German TV...

Despite being a german numpty - I enjoy people "avoiding" trying to use either word in conversation!

For instance our electrician is pretty much family. He is the brother of my my wife's aunt's daughter's husband - I think.

But it is still all Sie and Herr. English and all that bollox.

I asked my wife why the hell - and she doesn't really know. But she is "du" with the tiler who we don't know from a bag of grouting (and the tiler is older as well!!!).

Ho hum.

Surely if German is not your native tongue, they can not prosecute for using "du" instead of "sie". Any lawyers on here?

I'm sure the exist - but even when I worked in a German speaking office, most of us were per "Du". It was only senior managers and clients that were addressed with Sie. I would also expect TV and cinema to try to be up with the times a little more and try to make some of the characters less stuffy.


It is one of them, in fact - and actually one of the shows that made me start this topic. The other was some crap movie I caught 5 minutes of, when 2 people on a date where still calling each other "Sie".

Too true ER.

My mother-in-law is forever telling me off when I refer to her as 'Sie' and I keep on trying to explain that in Urdu, she would be the equivalent as she is an 'elder' and therefore worthy of that respect. It's so automatic for me to do that, but to no avail, she just doesn't get it. *Must try harder - or speak to her less often*

I'm sure she doesn't get it. If you use Sie to someone you ought to be saying Du to then it's a bit of an insult.

i love both worlds, the Du and Sie and the english You and first name basis.
if i had to chose, i wouldn't know which one.
but i think it also goes with the language and the culture which goes with it. du/sie is way of distinguishing between people whereas in english, the distinction derives from the way you say it, the words you use etc.

I'd keep an eye on her

If I arranged to meet someone I only knew from a forum - oooh such as this one say - down the kneipe, and they were German, and we're both fairly young, then if I asked many things like 'Was bist du von Beruf?' would that have been rude, or should I have used Sie untill they invited me to use du or used it themselves (though they were mostly using English anyway and I never heard a du or Sie out of them). This keeps me awake at night because they never followed up the evening out even though we seemed to be getting along ok.
Hmm, perhaps I should have headed this post up Dear Deirdre.
Double hmm - if the person concerned is reading this then my apologies and how do you feel about getting together again?

@Serenissima. I think Du would be more appropriate in that situation.

I wouldn't think twice about using Du in that scenario.
In fact I wouldn't think even once, I'd just do it.

Perfect protocol: What is actually being said is "What happened last night was probably a onceoff, you're getting a coffee but I don't care if it chokes you, I may also have forgotten your name but who needs it."" Allows you to open the metaphorical window and let in the cold draught of reality without causing a scene.

Warning: Using daytime television to decide how to behave may not be the best strategy, especially in Germany.

whenever i meet someone new at work, it depends on age and position whether i use Du or Sie.
in my private life i use Du for everyone i meet (1st time too) who doesn't look "old" to me. once they have a certain age, i use Sie out of respect and it depends on them whether they offer Sie.
in sports environment Du is the rule for all ages etc.

I like that one. A way of saying it's an ONS so don't get any ideas

I agree, it totally depends on the situation and the people. I mean, people who I should technically be Sie-ing I duzen, just because we 'click' and get on well, so it's a mutual agreement.

However I notice, as Hazza said, that especially when American programmes are dubbed they use the 'wrong' form of address. Even I can tell when it's inappropriate.

I think its a very interesting subject.

Sie and Du is not just based on age, it's to do with personal relationships. My boss and I are on du, other colleagues are Sie with him.

I like the protection of Sie sometimes too, it's not that all English speakers want to be per du.

FWIW, on the gay scene everyone is per du.

@Andrea

Exactly, you are not going to ask a Sie for one for the road.

Although if you're into roleplaying I suppose it does give the question a certain upstairs/downstairs edge.

Anyway feel free to use Aunty Yeti's advice in all situations, appropriate and otherwise.

As MT says the space that you create for yourself in a work situation by using Sie can be most useful.

During my community service where I was in the kitchen and responsible for their well being I always said Du to all of them cos it wasn't a very big deal.

It depends on the person and the situation. I wouldn't be very happy about someone who would call me Du in a O2 or Vodafone Shop. It's a kind of politeness there but if I'm a t a racing track driving my radio controlled car I'd be confused if someone would say Sie.

I further think that it depends wether the person is outgoing or not. I'm prone to say Du to a lot people who are my age even I don't know them.

I would say using Du (especially as I assume they knew you aren't German) was fine and I doubt they have 'gone cold' for that reason. Some people are just a bit like that I think and are interested in meeting up to find out what the person is like in real life but once that veil of 'mystery' is removed it isn't as interesting.

@boomtown

You saying I'm not interesting?!!!

Going from Du back to Sie is a major breach of protocol , so choose wisely, young Jedi's.

This saying "Sie" on a date isn't so far off reality: Scogs and I have been together for almost 7 years, but one night he started talking in his sleep, put his arm around me and said, "Kommen Sie her!".

PMSL !!!

As one's youth recedes things become more complicated as you can't address everybody as Du and you also have to guess people's ages. In most social contexts with people your own age (up to say mid-30s) Du seems to be acceptable. In a professional context, it's safer to use Sie with everybody to begin with as no offence is taken by being too formally initially. And in many cases the distance created by the use of Sie is also important (and necessary).

I quite like being called Du by younger people / shop assistants / students as it would imply that they think I am (still) young. However if an older person immediately addresses me as Du without asking I usually feel it conveys a lack of respect.

Don_riina makes mental note to refer to everone he meets from now on as "sie". Madonn'..

Most people seem to have missed the point of this thread.

Not to ask when people use "Du" or "Sie", because it's been covered umpteen times in other threads.

I frankly don't care how anyone here uses "Du" or "Sie" or how they want to be addressed. I want to know why they don't use "Du" and "Sie" in the same social context on TV and in the movies as they do in real life...

Did you ask him what he was dreaming about the next day?

@Hazza

For the same reason that their faces are biscuit coloured and the walls shake when one of them storms out of the room because Jens who used to be with Katja but left her to open a cafe for left-handed liver transplant victims where he met Sabine who is the secret lovechild of Jürgen who is the sworn enemy of Manfred who harbours a dark secret about Jenni who is the young but poor but succesful but doomed to failure singer in a hopeless band managed by Simon who wants to move to Africa to help poor people.

They all live in one flat and are all per du, except those who are per Sie because of the deep animosity between their families due to somebody spitting in the Nutella back in 1912.

Because for some people it does reflect reality. The largest segment of people that sit at home and watch this stuff are going to be women in the 60+ category and for them this is exactly how they refer to each other. 2 women in my office have worked together for over 30 years, are friends outside work and to this day refer to eachother as Sie. The loosening of this convention is a fairly recent phenomenon.

Verliebt in Berlin probably appeals to a wider audience but anyone who has even tried to watch it will know that we are not it's target audience.

Hold it, hold it! Flawed script! It couldn't have been Nutella, it was only invented in the 1940s. Try using Marmite in the story instead.

You can't use Marmite in a daytime TV show, think of the children !

True, it should be something inoffensive.
(ducks to escape the wrath of Marmite aficionados)

use vegemite instead... it deserves that kind of attention.

or better yet, promite.

in your real life maybe but not everyone's