The vent

aargh...the whole company intranet and our email has been infected by some virus which is sending out "buy Viagra at special rates" offers repeatedly...my mailbox and others is completely blocked up and i cannot click on the link to buy the viagra at cheap rates either...blocked by the firewall

I'm tired and want to go home!! Why do these ultra long working days exist??

The one frigging day this week I can sleep in as late as I want and I'm up before 6am, unable to sleep. Life is just not fair sometimes.

Pouring down rain and cold ass temperatures in the middle of summer!!! It's bloody AUGUST for crying out loud!!! Why does it feel like April??? What happened to the beautiful summer weather from prior to my vacation??? Bah humbug.

you know I was soooo excited about going and getting my hair cut and they managed to get me in right away and its the only reason I was excited to get up this morning. ALSO, I am always always always staying late at work and the lady knew I had to leave on time to get to this hair appointment...THEN she keeps me late late late and then I got lost and didnt have my phone because I didnt have time to go home first and get it, so then Im wandering around trying to find this fcking place and NO ONE can help me and NO ONE knows where a phone book is and so I missed it and now its going to be another week before I can get in anywhere...

IM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!

Why are all the taxis that pass you by full when you are wearing the wrong shoes that make your knees hurt and you just cannot walk the 5 mins to the next U-Bahn? Not to mention the facts that it's raining on a Friday evening after 1.5 hours of overtime.

Someone has been trying to saw through a metal pipe for the last 10 minutes in my courtyard. If they don't cut through it soon, I might go down there and break it in two pieces using their head.

Eeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhheee
euhheeeeuhheeeeuhheeeeuhh

Can't sleep and I need to wake up at 6:30!! aghhhhhhhh!!

words like "wellness"

Incompetence. I am surrounded by it! My minions, my underlings all are shit, making my life hell. grrrrrrrrr

After procrastinating for the last 3 months about asking for a raise, I finally asked and he gave me a lousy 75€ a month! That's after 5 years with no raise!

I'm now in a bad mood because I ripped open my little bag of Mini Babybel cheeses only to discover that I accidentally bought Babybel Light cheese. Low fat food is crap.

Got woken up by the doorbell 3 times this morning which put me in a shitty mood for at least half of the day (ok technically it wasn't morning). First time was the postman randomly ringing one of the buzzers (to be let into the building). The second time (half an hour later) was someone delivering a package and the third time (half an hour to an hour after that) was someone ringing the buzzer to our apartment door. I only got up to answer that one as I thought it would be one of the neighbours - instead what greeted me when I opened the door this time was the sight of a gypsy with two kids muttering stuff in romani (I presume), sticking her youngest child in my face and trying to force her way into the damn apartment because some dumb arse (probably the package dude) left the door to the building open.

un-be-fucking-lievable! There's one washing machine in the basement and there's a load in, and my basket's there obviously waiting to be next. I've been checking every ten minutes so I can get it in as soon as the other one's done, and I just am on my way down the stairs and and a lady comes up and says "Sie werden mich bestimmt schlagen" and tells me she's just put -- ANOTHER load in. Oh it's just Kurzwäsche! Oh FUCK! Ach ja ich bin so spät nach Hause gekommen und ich habe schon Dreckschlangen in der Wohnung -- yeah and I have NO NEED of clean clothes, I don't care if I smell, oh and I get home early every day and sit around until the machine's busy because I like to use it when someone else has just finished and I don't mind waiting either and it's TEN-THIRTY AT NIGHT ALREADY AND THE DAMN MACHINE WON'T BE DONE UNTIL MIDNIGHT!

Next time I'll take a book down and sit next to the machine to read until it's done. FUUUUUUUCK!

Speed traps and the wankers who set them should be publicly flogged

Cunts!

Have lost track of which country I'm supposed to be working with today, consultant at the bank is annoying me with the fact that he is actually incapable of doing his job... and the new guy I've employed started today so I have to smile and be nice.

Sorry, but I just have to SCREAM! and this seems to be the right place.

Much better, thank you .

I am having a really bad fucking day.
I have a feeling it could turn into a very bad week, extending on into a very bad next month.

why the fuck do all gp's close in august? i try the ones recommended by tters and they are shut. the ones recommended on the answerphones are bloodfy shut too or operate stupiud opening times. goddammit. don't they want my (well, bupa's) money? i'm hurtin' here!

This damn storm one minute, the next minute sunshine, the minute after that: downpour, bloody weather is really getting on my tits. FFS why can't it fucking stay one way for at least half the day so that I don't have to cart my whole damn wardrobe and wet weather gear with me when I leave the house of a morning only to have to strip it all off then put it back on ... then take it all of again ... then put it back on again ... (repeat at least 20 times). Not happy.

oooh 'the vent', perfect.

i'm still registered as unemployed here despite not getting any money from them. so i received a letter the other day 'inviting' me to an interview this morning at 7.45 to discuss my situation. it stated that if i was no longer unemployed, i could phone and tell them this.

so i turned up this morning at 7.45 and told the guy on reception that i'd been invited in for a 'chat'. he seemed rather confused by the letter and asked me if i was still unemployed. he then tapped away on his computer and said that was it. said."what? what about the chat?" oh no, i just had to go there to confirm that i was still unemployed, no chat, nothing. "so why couldn't i have phoned?" no answer to that one. at this point i snatched the letter back, crumpled it into a ball and hurled it at a nearby bin and stormed out.

what the hell was the point dragging me in there for that? arseholes, absolute arseholes. somtimes i truly hate the mindless bureaucracy in this country.

Aaargh I'm so sick of my office being freezing every single day. It's nice weather out for a change and I'm wishing I brought a jumper in because it's so cold in here

Arghhhhhhh bastards !!!

They've taken the trouble to give me a load of really good shortcuts on the server to previously designed parts which would make the project so much easier / quicker / cheaper to complete, excellent !

But now the stupid bleeding idiots won't give my guys logon access rights to the drive that contains these folders !

£%)y*)*%%*())^))^)^)(y")&&^%rr GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So I get this all singing, all dancing fancy job as manager of IT. Start working in Frankfurt to sort them out (no manager for 2 years so it's a bit Chaotic), then sort out Munich, Zurich and Vienna. Great thinks I. Almost 27 and doing quite well.

Then I turn up. The so called "German Work Ethic" seems to have missed my Tuetonic colleagues completely. They turn up when they want, and fuck off home when they want (but always being very careful to do their 7.8 hours a day) leaving the whole fucking support department totally unmanned.

So I go in and say "ok lads, we're having a shift rota". One of them screams his tits off and runs off to HR claiming I'm making excessive demands. Pissed off HR girl "summons" me to the office for a bloody interrogation. The other colleague (who REALLY needs to use more deo') just shrugs his head and carry's on regardless of anything I seem to say.
In the next meeting with my Bosses, I put my proposals across and they seem quite happy about the whole thing. Woo Hoo. I mention the issues I'm having and then get the power to re-write these bastards Job specs. Who's the fucking Daddy now? So finally getting that one sorted out, and we all seem to be getting on ok.

Then I get another phone call from london. They need to do a reuters upgrade for somebody. Not a issue normally, but the guys who package all the apps can't seem to release one single fucking peice of software without missing something out and completely screwing up peoples machines. So tonight, I get to sit here until 2am in the fucking morning if the status bar is to be believed, just to take a backup image of the traders machines.

I'll get home tonight, hopefully get a couple of hours sleep, ready to be back in the office for 6 AM ready for another 14 hour day, because I can't be sure that my guys will turn up.

On the plus side, finally got the rules and regs for putting somebody through a disciplinary. Popular I won't be, but getting them to do their Jobs I will.

All my mates are going on a booze cruise and I can't go...no fun watching them all getting legless and me being the only sober one. Bloody antibiotics!!!

...and i am just so damn frustrated...everything right now just sucks!!! aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Fuck just went down to the basement, for the first time in a couple of months, and my padlock was missing off the wooden cage door! Nothing stolen though as far as I can tell. They really tried to get it open too, there was blood on the metal part that flaps over the loop the padlock goes through and on the wall next to it, and they damaged it too, the loop is twisted just enough to prevent the flap closing over it enough. Since nothing was taken, and they left the lock damaged I can only assume its personal, only people with an apartment key can get in there so it must be a neighbour, and the only neighbour I have even talked to recently was this racist german bitch who passed around a petition, full of made up bullshit and racial abuse, to get this nice old russian guy kicked out, which succeeded, and we didnt sign it. (Although we were the only ones judging by all the signtures on it). And she was pissed off at us. Cant really say its her though, no evidence.

Vodafone are fucking cunts, because they wont answer my emails or my postal letters about trying to terminate my contract.
TKK health insurance are fucking cunts because they wont answer letters that I have sent twice now trying to sort some shit out.
Tiscali are fucking cunts because they charged my internet 3 times on my account this month.
The bank is a fucking cunt cos they wont reverse 2 of them.
Deutsche Post are fucking cunts cos they dont deliver mail, you post something away and it just vanishes, and half the shit I am supposed to receive never does.
Germany is fucking backward cos you cant just go online and sort eveything out with a few clicks you have to fill out forms and post them away only for the horse and cart to get lost somewhere, or deal with cunts with a vested interested in ignoring your fucking mail.

Had another one of these MORON fucking customers on the phone, complaining that I had not sent their order. I ask for their order number - they do not have. I asked for their name - does not come up on my system. I ask them for the order date - does not come up on my system for them. I ask for the value of the item - does not match our sales price. I ask for their Worldpay payment email - they do not have. I ask for our email confirmation - they do not have.

I say "Are you sure you ordered from us?". Absolutely they say. So we carry on fucking about, and I say "dont wish to be rude, but sometimes people in the past when I have these problems, have ordered somewhere else etc".

She goes to her online banking and says. "Yes, you debited the £20.02 on the 1st September", and I say "Company Name on the transaction" and she says SOME COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FUCKING COMPETITOR.

HOW FUCKING STUIPID ARE THESE PEOPLE!!! Not an isolated incident - I get about one a month. Braindead labour-voting-sun-reading dipshits.

oh time for a whinge. we went to the hospital on sunday for my wife to have her ctg scan as the baby's overdue. the maternity ward is right next to the a&e section and there were the usual bunch of people who appeared to be suffering from no accidents or emergencies (just like when i went in having exploded by cruciate ligament and had to wait 4.5hrs for all those people who had a bit of a sniffle and couldn't wait for the doctor on monday).

so we're there again today for the same scan and i said to my wife that i bet a&e is virtually empty because now they can take their sniffles to their doctor. tada!!! totally empty, not a single person in sight.

thus proving my point that these people waste the doctors' time and hold up those in need of real accident and emergency treatment because they can't wait one bloody day. effing hypochondriac leeches!!

here is my vent of the day relating a java support chat between myself and Mcafee customer support, sometimes I really do believe some people just do not listen to what is being said:

Please wait while we find a technician to assist you...
You are currently at position number 2 in the queue.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
You have been connected to Mcafee Support.
Mcafee Support: Hello , thank you for contacting McAfee.
Mcafee Support: Your case number for this chat session is 2######
Mcafee Support How can I assist you with your McAfee software today?

Me: hello, I have a problem with an installation of INTERNET SUITE 7

Mcafee Support: Okay.

Mcafee Support: I would be glad to assist you. Can you please elaborate the issue you are experiencing?

Me: I have bought a new laptop and wish to install my copy of INTERNET SUITE 7 on it, everything installs fine but when windows xp sp2 restarts, the system hangs, it would seem to happen when the privacy service starts,

Mcafee Support: Okay.

Mcafee Support: Are you referring that your system hangs after installing McAfee software?

Me: yes the system is an acer aspire 5100, running XP SP2 German, the os and language are the same as my old laptop ( a Hp) I reboot after install, as requested but the system just hangs when the privacy window opens

Mcafee Support: Okay.

Mcafee Support: What is the RAM size of your system?

Me: 2GB

Mcafee Support: 1. Let me know the Processor speed and Total Physical Memory (RAM) of your computer by performing the following steps:
a. Click Start ---> click Run ---> Type MSINFO32 and Click OK.
b. This will open System Information window.
c. The Processor and Total Physical Memory (RAM) details should be available in the right-side pane.

Mcafee Support: Let me know when you are done.

Me: processor is an AMD Turion 64 x2 TL50 duo core 1,66GHz, ram is 2GB DDR2

Mcafee Support: Okay.

Mcafee Support: Do you have any third party Anti-virus program installed on your computer other than McAfee VirusScan?
Please check and confirm. Do you see any third party anti virus like Norton, Symantec, Live Update, Live Reg, PC Cillin, Trend Micro, Panda, Platinum, Secure IE, ZoneAlarm, BlackIce or Freedom, Lava soft, Webroot SpySweeper etc. under Add/remove programs?

Me: No I have installed a free 3 month copy of Norton Antivirus so I can safely access the internet to talk to you, but the INTERNET SUITE 7 was the first software I installed

Mcafee Support: Okay.

Mcafee Support: In this case, you need to uninstall Norton Antivirus first, as it is conflicting with the McAfee software.

Me: NAV was not installed when I installed INTERNET SUITE 7 it did not come preinstalled, I have since installed it so I can access the internet to safely resolve this issue

Mcafee Support: but the presence of Norton Antivirus is conflicting with the McAfee software.

Mcafee Support: Please uninstall Norton Antivirus completely then reinstall the McAfee software.

Me: It was not installed when I installed INTERNET SUITE7 so it was not there to conflict with it

Mcafee Support: There might be some remnants of the Norton Antivirus that are creating the problem.

Me: it was not there in the 1st place when I installed, so there cannot be remnants, this problem is nothing to do with NAV

Mcafee Support: Is the Norton software currently installed on your computer?

Me: yes, but I am not currently trying to install INTERNET SUITE7 as it makes my laptop unusable, so until I can find out why it does this I will not reinstall it, which is why I am talking to you

Mcafee Support: it is a requisite that you uninstall the Norton software, so that you can install the McAfee software on your computer.

Me: sorry i do not think you are listening to me, until I find out why it makes my computer hang I cannot install INTERNET SUITE7 or will uninstall NAV, INTERNET SUITE7 stops my laptop from responding so I cannot see what is causing the problem

Mcafee Support: Alright.

Mcafee Support: Do you have any previous version of McAfee software installed on your computer?

Me: no it is a new laptop

Mcafee Support: the only way out is to uninstall the Norton software from your computer, this should ideally resolve the issue that you are experiencing.

Me: sorry but you are wrong NAV WAS NOT installed when I tried to install and configure INTERNET SUITE7, NAV is not the problem, I think I will have to resolve this without your help, goodbye,

Jeez I get stressed and pissed off just reading that, Jellyone!

Curiously I have been having a similar conversation with the support from Pinnacle Systems.
You could almost substitute "Pinnacle" for yours & get same conversation.

Its OT but in a nutshell: new PC, Pinnacle 10 installed from CD, patch 10.6 installed.
First video file read out of camcorder. The scene display has 6 out of 44 WRONG
in that the scene piucture shows last frame of previous scene rather than first of current.

Same file read by Pinnacle 8 ON AOTHER pc is perfect!

So I describe situation & they ask:
1) Are audio & video drivers current (rubbish since scene recognition has to be pure software9
2) Did I have other software running (Viruschecker) - of course I'm not daft...
3) Did I have older Pinnacle on system - NO

Next round: they suggest I deinstall & reinstall Pinnacle. This sounsd just like
making the customer work to keepo him occupied & maybe go away.

Current state: I challenged their arguments & offered to sennd a data DVD with the evidence.
Silence since Sunday

I am absolutely fucking furious - so much so I just had to hang up on the Head of Maths from Alex's school telling him I'd ring him back when I've calmed down.

Alex got a D in his maths GCSE and obviously at the time I was so disappointed as was he because we knew he could have done so much better. On his return to school he decided to do a resit to up the mark. Whilst in the maths resit class yesterday in transpired he hadn't been given a piece of course work to do as he hadn't been in the school at that time, however, it was obviously the schools responsibility to make sure he had received this before the final GCSE paper was sat. After a bit of investigation today I have found out that had he done this piece of coursework he would have easily got a C even possibly a B.

Of course the Head of Maths just called me absolutely horrified and full of apologies but I really can't fucking speak to him at the moment!!!

Frankly I have enough to be getting on with - without more fucking redtape over here.

I am attempting to get my UK Ltd company registered here for VAT. What a drama. Every time I give the accountant some relevant paperwork - he wants more.

Today I have decided to photocopy, fax and email every damn piece of information I can get my hands on. I have worked out that the German system for registering something or someone is to totally FLOOD the frigging system with useless irrelevant crap and out of date paperwork, so that some faceless numpty can stamp it and keep his job.

And why does my fucking laptop keep freezing and beeping. It is looking for a bluetooth thing that isnt there, I have disabled every fucking bit I can think of. Shitty buggery fuck wank.

I'm having a lovely day thanks

The s8 to the airport was completely full today, which meant I had to stand in my really uncomfortable shoes with about 40 lbs of books in my backpack. Then, when I finally did get a seat, I wound up next to this couple who, it seemed, are in the midst of mating season. I don't care if you want to cuddle and kiss on the s-bahn. But they were smacky kissers. Loud, gooey, lovey dovey, smacky kisses... . It was worse than listening to someone smack their gum. Get a room, ffs.

Aghhh, I should have learned more german during the past two years. I got dismissed by a potential employer cause they need very good german and mine is still not that good.

Argh!! I was plannin' on headin' to de Wiesn this afternoon, but with the storm brewin' outside, threatening to run over me boots, I probably won't go. Too much swabbin' of vestments to bother. Yet I has a strong hankering to visit Ofest and this storm is leaving me heart even blacker.

The landlovers who scare easily at such water will not be willing to fare such weather - ye should go and brave the winds and rain. Just like home, arr!

I wish more people would remember to use the BCC field in their frigging emails so I don't get total crap from random sources.

First cold of the season. Grumble, grr, cough.
And in proxy for all the families trying to take advantage of the lower prices at the Wiesn today: F***ing Rain! Same thing happened last week!

I have just spent my time cleaning up after my man... putting socks in the washer, cleaning his breakfast plate etc etc, I had this out with him the other day and he said 'you told me to sack the cleaner'. I never met this cleaner she moved on before I arrived in Munich, I'm sure he didnt have her pick up his socks..

I think this falls under domestic abuse

Last night my boyfriend went to Oktoberfest with some guys and said 'I am only going if we have like 2 mass and a half a chicken because I do not want to get drunk'. I said 'well, don't miss the S1 back to Oberschleissheim'. He says 'oh no, just going for one or two'. At 11:30 PM he calls, obviously drunk and says he's walking to the Sbahn and getting on the train. At 1:45 am, he calls again and says 'the S1 isn't coming! It said it would be here in 1 hour, then 40 minutes and now it says 'wait for further messages'. No S1.

So, I had to drive all the way to Hackerbrucke from Unterschleissheim to pick him up at 2 am and lost an hour of sleep and didn't sleep well for the rest of the night.
So, I'm pissed at him and at MVV for not posting that the S1 was not running last night or at least having people there to inform the Wies'n visitors that there is no S1!

Does this 3rd world country not have cabs?

I mailied an invoice and about 14 pages of administrative forms (which I hate and are a waste of time- but are needed by the school in order to pay me) to one of the schools I work for. And since I was in a rush and they needed it mailed right away, the company where I was teaching said they'd stick it in the post for me. That was 2 fucking days ago and now the school is calling me in a panic because the shit hasn't arrived yet. And it was the one and only time that I didn't make copies of the stuff because it was all so rushed to get it in the post in the first fucking place.

Stupid fucking attendance lists where people have to sign them at the end of class. It's just a stupid fucking ridiculous amount of additional paper for me to keep track of. And when you're teaching 13 classes a week, that really fucking adds up to a lot of shit to keep organized.

And you know what the best part is? I'd bet 50 Euros the school is going to turn around and tell me they can't pay me without first receiving the paperwork.

I'm burnt out and need a fucking vacation.

I've just sent the timesheet out to 15 people for september's hours to be filled in and sent back to me, simple little excel file, type in some numbers and send it back, 10 minutes yeah ?

Nope, i know that this relatively minor yet important (if you want paying ) task will be the bane of my life until at least lunch tomorrow with all kinds of stupid questions and unbelievably badly filled in forms coming back from so called professionals

There, i feel better now, getting it off my chest before the shit lands

I ordered "potato skins" the other day at a Mexican restaurant and when the food came - they were only deep fried potato wedges - HUH!!!

So..I picked up the cubs today from kindergarten. I parked my car in front of the kindergarten, half on the curb, which is my and most others parents habit. Then, while I was struggling to the get the little blighters in the back of my rented 2 door car, a grass cutting tractor pulls up on the opposite side of the road and starts shouting "Hallo!" to get my attention. I tactically ignore the voice knowing he's about to lay into me. He proceeds to start telling my back that the village recently put into some a traffic calming and I shouldn't and park my car here. (I couldn't see any connection, myself. Plus he was the one who was blocking the traffic) Anyway, I managed to not give him eye contact and gave him a rousing "Hau ab, Ã?rschloch" when I drove off.

But despite my best efforts his ranting has really got to me. I wish I could cope better with this kind of confrontation. I always get so wound up for hours afterwards thinking about it.

Do you think burning his pets would be a suitable counter measure?

I am poor, skint (which is the same ) live in a concrete box and have no idea if I shall ever get another job in my sad life ever again . But, am I unhappy , fucking right I am . Bastards all of them ( Add favoured hate person or persons here.) But I do like my lunch-hour I must say.