The vent

After filling in two New Hire forms by hand (with 4 carbon copies each) HR tells me sweetly, "Oh, we don't use them any more, we use the forms on the server". With all sorts of abbreviations intelligible to HR only ...
Well, they have to complete them, I'll just give them the personal info. Then I'll go sharpen some pencils and send them to headquarters so they can poke themselves in the eye.

me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks me thinks Aaaaargh !!!

From our friends at urban dictionary:


And anyway it's methinks ffs.

peeved of Stratford,
W. Shakespeare

Just been told I've got to return to that hell hole in Switzerland called Basel. 4 more weeks. Argggghhhhh.

Methinks the boss deserves a sharpened pencil

Hayfever on the 15th January !! Just got back from a wonderful week skiing and return to streaming eyes and uncontrollable .. a-a-a-atchooooo!! Shit ! fucking global warming - I want snow and pollen-exterminating ice from now until April.

Auditors...I hate Auditors!

I hate the fucking shallow, unhelpful, snide, deceitful twats I work with. That's it.

i want to kill someone!

It's the weekend and I have a raging headache without having been out drinking with friends until 3am. not fair!

I went to a tupperware party and spent too much money... and still didn't get everything I wanted.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE IN MUNICH FOR TEN YEARS AND NOT LEARN THE FUCKING LANGUAGE?! Not two years. Not five years. A FUCKING DECADE! AND THAT IN A JOB WHERE YOU COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS!

And then off to suckle at the public teat...

woof.

Is there a "Family Life" Vent? If you don't have kids, feel free to skip this one.

My toddler is driving me MAD MAD MAD. I am trying very very hard to be patient, as I know she doesn't feel up to snuff. She has a cold. And maybe some little stomach bug too, based on three bm's in short order and a red butt, albeit not full-fledged diarhea. Three bm's within a couple of hours is a nightmare as she is so rebellious when I try to change her diaper. And she did NOT want to take a nap today. NOOO. NEIN!! NOOO. Shriek shriek shriek. Did I mention she woke me up at 4 am wanting to get up? I gave her some milk and told her it was still night-time... So I finally got her to nap around 2:30 --which means I can't take her to playgroup, so I don't get as much time to recover my sanity this afternoon. Ok, with the red butt I should probably keep her home anyway. But I PAY for playgroup whether she is there or not and I NEED the time, to pay attention to my new-born. She has been sleeping a lot today, but can I be grateful for that, nooooo...I am worried that she has the stomache bug too and also anticipating a hellish evening/night of her maybe being awake and fussing. I am operating on a severe sleep deficit between the baby's nighttime wakings and the toddler being up at 4am and at the moment I just have KEIN BOCK!!! Ok, I think the baby is waking up now. Must go rustle up my maternal instincts and coo at her as she has been ignored all day.

Sympathies... took me a minute to work out what a bm is though. what do you call the other one?

ok, actually I usually call it a poop, but bm for bowel movement seemed less graphic! The other would be pee.

fuck wank bastard cunt arsehole twat arsewipe bastich bollocks bugger cocksucker motherfucker prick piss tosser whore leaching bitch.

demands the question. You OK? Can't find your velcro gloves and a heard of sheep just danced past the window?

FUCK THE MVV!!! A bit of snow, and I end up standing at Leuchtenbergring FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS waiting for the S2 with no information about when it might come!!! So I give up, call work and take the FUCKING DAY OFF because I'm FUCKING FREEZING to DEATH!!! My feet are NUMB, my face is FROST-BITTEN and then the FUCKING BUS won't even take me home because it's shift change, and the new drivers are stuck elsewhere. So here I am having walked home, THREE FUCKING HOURS after I left to get to work and this is costing me a days VACATION!!! !!$$%&%$§&''##!!!$$%&%$§&''##!!!$$%&%$§&''##!!!

pisses me off that everyone is fucking late today because of a little snow! Fucking whimps. Its only water for gods sake. Everyone is complaining how cold it its, when it snows its actually warmer out. If people would learn to fucking dress for winter they cannot bitch about.

Some people just do not know how to drive in this weather. Beware of women driving yellow cars!

My whole house smells like poo!!

A little while ago me and my neighbours had a sewarage explosion which covered our gardens and made the houses stink for days. THis all started with a smell which was reported and ignored. They are always out clearing the drains of the school opposite, so me and the neighbours think there is a longstanding problem with the drains near us because of the school.

Yesterday I got home and the house stunk, moreso, the utility room and downstairs loo. So I rang Welsh Water (sewarage dept) and explained the situation. The conversation went well until he said "ok, we will have someone out within 7 days to take a look". Are you fucking kidding. So I stayed calm and explained that surely under the cirumstances they could make it a bit quicker as wouldn't it be better and more cost effective to err on the side of caution and take a wee peek down the poop pipes then have an explosion and have to returf three gardens again and pay compensation for the inconvenience of people having crap in their gardens for 3 days! Answer: apparently NOT. Policy is a 7 day turn around for a smell unless the person he passes it on to deems it necessary for a faster action, and I'm not even allowed to speak to the person that does the deeming! FFS!!!

But I ain't giving up!!!

I do wonder if I attract the stuipidest fucking customers on the planet sometimes. I have enough to sort out without stupid arse questions like:


Yeah like fucking sure. English website, prices in fucking pounds, English fucking address - but we only sell products that work in Russia. Like fuck.

And that is the tip of the iceberg. I have people asking if they are "electrically powered or otherwise". Like fucking what sir? Steam powered fucking lightbulbs?

Shit there are some dumbarse people out there.

So, what, there are around 3 million police living in and around Munich? The city can spare a band of merry spelunkers to give 150 cavity searches at The Garden on a Saturday night, but they can't spare a couple of cops to direct traffic at the corner of Würmtalstr. and Saurbruchstr. when the traffic lights are ausser betrieb. Which is the greater public safety risk: a few club kids blissing out on ecstasy or several hundred cars trying to drive in contradictory directions in the same physical space?

What kind of numbskull sends an important contract as a .jpg/Photo Editor document and downsized 40% instead of Acrobat or anything regular sized? Frigging waste of time copying the 15 pages into Word and printing 100% from there. Incompetent bastards from the Southern Hemisphere .

I work with idiots who cannot understand a very basic concept of our job. It is not difficult but our company inists on hiring people who are underqualified and need to look at EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. aaargh

Why is it in this land where customer is supposed to be king, a patient gets such inadequate service? On Saturday we get told to come on Monday at 8 a.m. for an EKG. We get to the hospital but it is such a maze that it is impossible to find the right department. One needs to know the lingo -- 'pre-op' and 'same-day-surgery' in order to even be able to ask for directions. Then in every department there is a form to fill out about allergies and prior illness etc; can't they put it into their computers?

They do have staff however to call the night before the surgery to say that they are making a 'courtesy' call. What they want is to make sure that the patient pays 699$ before surgery the next morning. Now I sure hope they operate the correct arm.

Aaarghh... Some people! Were they always this stupid or did they take lessons? I'm amazed they made it past puberty. It's like they were beaten with the stupid stick and goofily kept asking for more. Stupid, stupid people.

My coworker snapped at me today for no good reason whatsoever and if I weren't a pillar of composure and self-restraint I would've cracked the glass bottle of pop I was holding across the side of his head. But in the end I decided to just walk away and secretly flip him off once I rounded the corner.

I fucking hate it when my plans go wrong and I have too much work to do and I end up letting friends down...

Off to look for one of these...

Wife, DynoRod,£600,Popgoesthefuggingweasel.

Stop staring at me! I mean seriously, STOP. I can feel your eyes boring into me, and I know you're dying for me to look up from my laptop and make eye contact with you, but I absolutely refuse. Why do you people feel the need to stare? I'm fully clothed, not even wearing anything sexy, my hair's held up by a pencil and I'm wearing earphones which slightly resemble hearing aids. WTF? Go back to work! Don't you have some fucking spreadsheets or something else to look at? No, coughing and hacking loudly is not going to get my attention either. Didn't you get the message when I pointedly ignored you at the cappucino machine earlier? Even though you dropped your spoon on the floor and subsequently bent over to fetch it and banged your head against my upper thigh? Did you think that was subtle? It wasn't. Just like staring isn't subtle. So stop. Please. Thank you.

I am quite busy enough without MORON customers like this.

Click on the link here and take a 5 second look at the page:

http://www.androv-medical.com/product.php/46/0/

This is the email from the customer:


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I get this shit all day long.

Just got a call from a French woman to tell me that the room I booked in Marseille for Oct 5-8th is not available, after she called yesterday to tell me they needed a credit card to guarantee it Aaargh. This is after I booked a room on places to stay.com in downtown marseille & then decided to check the hotel website as the name didn't sound familiar & lo & behold no hotels with that name on the accor website, I did a search & discovered it was in Avignon only a 100km away

got two really sore finger tips today after the nails got torn off whilst doing DIY stuff. grr! they look manky too

I hate it when you buy something in the Ads on TT then they dont fucking work properly and it cost you time and effort to put the thing right!

Fuckers!

Fecking Yahoo! Every mail from every deceased African's dictator's wife/mistress/illegitimate son, promising me pots of money lands in my inbox.
But if someone sends me an imp. doc it is marked as spam and goes directly into my Bulk folder. I waited the whole of today waiting for a specs doc from a client and it didn't turn up. (my corp mail account was acting up but that is another rant). For some reason, I decided to clear my Bulk folder and guess what has been sitting right on top waiting for the last 6 hrs ...

Why oh bloody why does Britain always come to a stand still when it snows. It hasn't even snowed yet and Reece has brought a letter home from school stating that it might snow tonite and it might be up to 15cm so the school might be closed tomorrow and therefore I have to listen to the radio in the morning to hear if it is

ARGH!!! Cunts! Cunts! Cunts! The fuckin' lot of them. Fuckin' Auntie. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity, fuck! BBC fuckin' Controller? Wouldn't piss up 'is arse even if 'is cuntin' kidneys were on fuckin' fire! This is a fuckin' matter of national fuckin' importance. Fuckin' bollockin' fuckin' cuntin' fuckin' BBC and their fuckin' naffin' arseholin' bastard cuntin', "We're [awfully] sorry [you turncoat traitor expat livin' outside She-who-can't-even-speak-properly-might-be-a-bit-Jerry-anyway's realm], but the [cuntin'] BBC regrets that we cannot [fuckin'] broadcast live [fuckin'] football comment[fuckin']ary to you [so fuckin' there, nery-nery-THWWWWWUUPP!!!]. Bomb Shepherd's wankin' Bush I fuckin' say! Fuckin' nuke the bleedin' wankers. Blood red eagle cuntin' anythin' resemblin' any fucker fuckin' workin' for Auntie fuckin' BEEB. Slit their fuckin' backs right fuckin' open, reach in and fuckin' grab those fuckin' feeble cuntin' lungs and fuckin' smear the fuckin' things over their bastard naffin' cuntin' bollockin' fuckin' backs. Then fuckin' shout in their cuntin' bastard bollockin' faces. "FUCK MY DAY UP AND I'LL FUCK YOURS!" I WANT MY FOOTIE! I fuckin' have to fuckin' babysit. Jesus Mohammed, Oy-Vey, Buddist-Christ! Surely those fuckin' putrified streaks of lathered piss at Broadcasting cuntin' House can bollockin' do fuckin' somethin' for a father bein' a fuckin' proppa father. Cunts the fuckin' lot of them!

Arseholes!

*Sin is slightly miffed

Cunts!

Sad how a German cannot open a topic here without someone assuming I am trying to "fish for compliments" on my English skills or whatever. (Yes, dimmer, this is about you!)

Won't make that mistake again. Maybe I should just start posting here in German, because my mere posting in English might constitute "fishing for compliments".

Haha, this thread is indicative of so much. Thank you all.

Mariposa, deep breath, chill out and don't give it a further thought. Tis all nonsense anyway.

Thanks, I've just had an awfully long day, little sleep, and ungh...

Ah but doing so is against the Forum rules, and would get you an Insta-ban

Yeah, that was my next thought and so I decided against it.

Instead, write in the incoherent jibber-jabber that most other members use. You'll be grand.

Mmmhmmm I'll try...

I saw someone wrote in Italian earlier... is that person Italian?

Yeah but he was told, that's bad m'kay.

FFS a couple of inches of snow and Wales has come to a standstill. Schools are closed and the streets are like a ghost town!!! All flights delayed...and the only cancellation at the moment is the same flight I'm supposed to be catching tomorrow . So fingers crossed and please pray we have rain!!!

Oh No!!!

still have a fucking headache from my meeting last night, couldn't sleep, so I have gone to OBI to pick something up for the office (as the fuckheads I work with that all live in the area and have cars wouldn't never think of using free time to do something for the office, and I have no car, but need to take 2 buses to get the OBI). Organized my book shelf, and am being brutal about chucking out magazines (I am a junkie).

Common people with no manners or terrible manners are insufferable.

There are 10 poxy centimetres of snow in stoopid England and my friend's flight has been cancelled and so now i have a whole long weekend to rethink. humph. It's beautiful blue skies here in France and I even have my office window open. double humph.
england blows.

i seem to remember flights being cancelled from Munich a few days ago when we had less snow.