The vent

first day back from my exhausting three week long business trip and the first bit of mail I open is a lawyer's bill to the tune of €2,000. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr f*ing lawyers.

f*ck b*stard w*nker!

Just been to Ottobrunn "Isar Center" which is supoosed to be a shopping centre. Edeka was closed for refurbishment meaning it's only possible to buy sunglasses, lipstick, birthday cards & other such useful non f'ing edible shit. I came away with a leberkase semmel & a vanilla cake thing from the schnell imbiss outside. Next I find Lidl a short drive away so I think cool I CAN do some shopping. Like fook. After walking round that shop umpteen times I came to the conclusion that they don't sell butter (believe me I looked) & had to compromise with some low fat cheese spread thing that might just do the trick! There was other stuff I wanted too but gave up.
Then the bint at the cash till got fooked off with me for giving her a 50yoyo note. Some f'ing bird nearly rammed me in her car in the car park then some old f'ing granny away with the fairies decided she was gonna walk her trolley in front of me at 2cms per hour & got fooked off with me for beeping me horn at her in an attempt to bring her back to this planet. Bollox is all I can say.

Rant over. Now who was it mentioned Outland and alcohol later . . ....

Eastern European snowboarders - tossers.

The dumb blonde bitch jibbering in some slavic tongue who crashed into me, screwing my knee today - I hope you die a slow painful death, preferably after you've lived once more under an evil totalitarian regime and have undergone some sort of 1984 style rat torture.

I hate you, hate you, hate you. Bitch. If I ever find you then god help you for your reckless, incompetent, dangerous snowboarding.

Did I mention that I hate you and your crappy 1988 dayglo 'boarding' gear? Just because you can afford to travel to Austria to board doesn't mean you should. I really hope you are from Belarus and the KGB equivalent there takes you in for 'questioning' now you've been to the West.

And as for your companion wearing some sort of Stalin-esque moustache who mouthed off at me as I was laying on the slope - you can f off too. I hope some sadist pulls every hair from your tasche, slowing and deliberately using tweezers before stuffing a pillow with them and suffocating you to death. Bastard.

And no i haven't had anything to drink...yet.

Have some Russian hot chocolate. That will make you feel better.

new rant: there's a bloody mosquito in my lounge and I am watching him and I know he will some how eat me as I sleep, but I can't kill him because it's bad karma, and I can't jump, and I have an ice pack on my knee.

It's the waiting that's killing me.

I slept in a weird position last night and had my arm all twisted up under me and now my elbow hurts. And I've been up for an hour now and it's still not getting better. I believe I may have permanently damaged myself.

stupid stupid stupid monday.
so many people have accessed a workstation i use for some special stuff that i cannot find a really important file. i was supposed to finish the project tonight, but i can forget about that... can we please turn back the clock to sunday???

bastards bastards bastards cheap fucking bastardy vandals

Some fucker has broken into our work's Sportsverein cupboard (locked in a locked room) and damaged our sports gear and stereo.
An inventory is being done now and it will get reported.
As the stereo wasn't stolen and all the aerobic CDs were gone through, it is suspected that potentially another club broke the cupboard to "borrow" the equipment.
Cheers fuckers - who suffers? Our club members. That's Mitarbeit for you. As club treasurer, how I love to spend our members' money on absolute avoidable crap like this. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My boss seems to be blind to the fact that I have a life of my own and why the hell does she have a phone if she is not going to use the f%cking thing!!!

Last week I had one of the worst weeks of my year so far. So I go to bed last night all optimistic about how surely this week can only be better... and wake up with a migraine, an urgent deadline, a deluge of customer queries, crashtastic Microsoft doing its worst and absolutely stunning incompetence by people who really, truly ought to know better, all wasting hours of my (unpaid) time.

Yes, the urge to scream is strong within me.

But it would only hurt my head.

Monday: Vent time

My coworker and almost friend hasn't talked to me in almost a week, although we sit right across from eachother she completely froze me out all week long. I finally had enough of it today and confronted her with it and apparently a couple times last week she had said good morning and I had either not heard her or was engrossed with whatever I was doing and didn't respond. Instead of doing the logical thing and either a. getting my attention or b. asking me directly, she thinks the appropriate course of action is to stop talking to me (which is completely impossible because we are working on a lot of projects together).

Yes, this is the same woman that has to open the window and stick her head outside EVERY time either of us prints something on out printer.

Grrr. I work in a looney bin.

EDIT: I should add that she has even admitted that she knew I didn't do it on purpose.

ugh. when people cannot organize their lives so i don't have to work stupid times (random chunks which prevent me from seeing people!)
tomo- 7am-10am, 2:30pm-3pm, then perhaps 5-6:30pm.

i need the logic explained to me behind not getting home to pick your kid up between 2:30-3 when you are at a stable and just hanging out (no scheduled riding class just there hanging out) and need to be back at 3 to bring your kid someplace anyway so why not pick up your kid on the way to bringing her to the party!??! also, why not organize so your aupair only has to work one or two chunks in the day and not randomly.

today I would like to ask my boss/customer to open his mouth wider too - so that I will hurt my knuckles less on his teeth when I ram my fist in there.

...time to accept a cut in pay to go somewhere I else, I fear...

I think it's cool that the ladies on here continually gripe on and on about fellow female co-workers as if they're psycho ... i almost feel like im developing breasts here with what im reading (ill let u know how that goes ... been wantin 'em for ages) ... which just goes to show that women are grand in general to work with but every couple of 'em or so and you'll uncover a real nutcase

FUCK EVERY GODDAMNED ONE OF YOU FUCKING KRAUTS WHO INSIST ON OPENING THE FUCKING WINDOWS IN WINTER AND MOANING ABOUT THERE NOT BEING ENOUGH OXYGEN! DIE! DIE! DIE!

woof.

I have a colleague who called in sick to work because of a 'cold' on Monday, Nov 13 and said he would be sick all week - how does he know this? Secondly, on Friday, the 17th, he wrote that he's feeling better but he has a pain in his calf so he is unable to work. WTF? He has a 'pain in his calf'? So get on some crutches asshole and get to work. You sit down all day, why do you need your legs!! So very German! Take a couple of painkillers and get to work!

And, because of his absence for 2 weeks(!!), our the rest of us are working like crazy to pick up his slack and get his shit done on time.
Jerk!
However, it has not gone unnoticed by management

The health insurance company wrote to tell me that healthcare is getting more expensive, yadda, yadda, yadda, and my premiums are going up in the New Year. By 12%.

But I've only been in their scheme for three weeks (oh, ok, 23 days now). They haven't even sent me their stupid little health insurance card yet. Gah!

Föhn.
That one word should be enough. Not only is it unseasonable, I mean, this is the end of No-frigging-vember, it's time for frost and fog and snow winds and Glühwein, but it's got to my eyes, it's too bright and my eyes are swollen and I have to go shopping looking mysterious in my sunglasses.

My vent - women drivers in Munich. Where do they freaking learn to drive?! Today, again, too irritated to explain and I've said enough already.

I have been a woman driver in Munich for 21 years, learned to drive here and never caused or was involved in an accident. The first thing we learned was to keep your distance in front and to your right and left. Works like magic. Blame bad driving on the Föhn.

The annoying row of Germans behind us in Cinema last night who didn't shut up (talking in German) for the whole length of Casino Royale (which is a long film) despite my constant dramatic glares

Why didn't you just tell them to shut up? (In english of course)

someone else did but it didn't stop them. you're right though, I should have scolded them too. next time I'll be a more assertive Moonboot, might even throw some salsa at them for good measure too.

Go to the foyer and inform the ushers. They then come in, flash their high-beam flashlights in the talkers' faces and request them to either shut up or continue the conversation outside. Worked for me when I was ushing 25 years ago.
DHL **§"=??(/!!!^^} - I was expecting a package from Amazon so I stayed put until about 10.30am when I took the garbage down. The janitoresse saw me from her balcony and handed me the package which had arrived around 8.30am. She said the delivery guy swore on his granddaddy's grave that he had rung my bell and that no one had answered/was at home.
I have sent a complaint to DHL, lessee what they have to say.

They got nothing to say. They never do. Don't waste your time. Complaining about DHL is as useless as pissing on a forest fire. I caught a fucker dead to rights as he was taping the "You weren't home when I came" card to my door. No apology, no nothing.

The cards are often filled out in advance. Dropping the card instead of the package saves the driver time and all undelivered items get passed on to the Post workers.

woof.

aghh frigging internet connection is too damn slow!!

I can't find my friggin' KEYS! This means I can't go anywhere

But you're a mother- what makes you think you should be allowed to go anywhere anyway?

Who the fook ever thought writing code using pictures and no text is a tosser!!!

LabVIEW is gay !!!

Glad I got that of my chest, well sort of

My ex wife is fuckling me around again about picking the boys up. Always a game and full of shit. I'm supposed to be playing squash tonight with my other son & now I might not be able too. I even bought my stuff back from Munich so as to play with him (for the first time!) & now it doesn't look like we'll be able to. Excuse me while I say something. FUCKING GAME PLAYING SLAG WHORE BITCH FROM HELL. Sorry for that

You can't get root-beer in Germany. That's really worth venting about.

I have a can in my fridge .

i can't for the life of me make decisions! grr

also, i cannot remember the name of a program i worked with and i need it so i can finish my stupid resume so i can start writing cover letters and applying for jobs- arghhhhh

Big time pissed off aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhh;aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhh

... at myself.

Old wankers, driving old Mercedes cars...

And they always wear them fucking stupid twatting Trilby hats
kUNTS

ahhhhh tomoro i have to stay home in my time off for the second time this week because the kid got sick...now i cant go xmas shopping so my pressie will be home in time for xmas grrrrrrr and on monday i couldnt go caus the stupid kid stayed home caus he couldnt sleep because it was a full moon...like wtf!!!oh and because i had to make him 4 breakfasts today instead of 3 before he decided it was good enough for him to eat ahhhhhhhhh

This weather is killing me. No light at all. Drizzle drizzle darkness dampness soggy shoes damp nose frizzy hair no light, no light at all, how will I survive another year is this place? This is hell, only Finland can be worse.

Poo poo poo!! Just got myself settled on the couch with a glass of wine, packet of doritos and salsa dip. And I can't open the fucking jar!!! And no one is home

Run the lid under hot water, should loosen the seal.

my Vent
fucking TV programs that you have to turn the volume up to here what is being said...then when some sort of action happens you go deaf and the noise vibrates the bloody floor boards it is so loud
grrr

WAAHHHHH - My hairdresser quit - and I can't find him. And I have weird hair and he was the best.

my only vent in the whole wide world right now is Easyjet... do not be fooled they are not necessarily the cheapest option for flying! yet they seem to think they are. for the ENTIRE journey from my house in munich to my house in oxford Lufthansa is cheapest and they even include a smile! Easyjet on the other hand treat my luggage better!

ARGH to airlines and the stupid cost of flying.

Some girl went up my arse the other night at the lights , details were swapped and all that crap. And tbh I wasn't really bothered that much as she only dented my bumper a little bit and it actually matches the one on the other side, so I thought as it's xmas and all that and the fact that she was driving a car worse than mine I wouldn't bother taking it any further.

Well anyway, just tried to ring her to tell her not to worry about it and the bitch has given me a dodgy number. So she can go fuck now and I'm going to get myself a nice new bumper from her. See, being nice just doesn't bloody pay!!!

says the serial door-slammer

Fucking Expedia. Bunch of cntus... So I am trying to get a trip to Europe organised in January so I do the standard SFO to Munich search and get top deals for 450 Dollars... Anyhoo, I select the flights THAT ARE ADVERTISED at that specific price and what happens? Expedia checks the price and comes back saying it has now gone up to 2200 USD. ARSEHOLES!

OK, So I can get the deal on other dates but they are not ideal at all. Well I guess that is what you have to put up with if you want the bucket fares... Sigh...

SÜPER-DÜPER-RANT:
To the unspeakable asshole who fucked up the palette parking spaces in the garage at work, take a good long last look at your snazzy black BMW convertible because when I'm done with it you'll think a whole class of Nordic school children has been practicing runes on the doors and has used the fancy leather seats as target practice for long-distance puking.
Oh, and I will also pass on the taxi receipts for ANY times I need to use the car including shopping tomorrow until you and your snazzy black etc. have been airlifted to the roof of the Olympic Stadium and left there as a perch for the seagulls.
Oberkunt!

can you explain exactly what hes done? oh and i think the above word is rather cool.

I found out whose car it is, he said the palette was kaputt when he parked on it. "So", I asks him, "have you notified the janitor yet?" - "No", he says, "that's why I put my card under the wipers, so I can move off the palette if the owner turns up." Chefoberkunt ©
P.S. The palette moves sideways on tracks so that parkers can access their spaces behind the palettes. But they're not moving.

Continuing the theme of unsatisfactory ends to the week...
Had a bid in for a piece of business with a major Hessen company. Worth Eur200k next year to my firm if we won it (and 100k to me personally).
Many bidders.
Made it down to the last 2.
Heard this afternoon that they really liked my proposal (oh no!)...but I've won second prize - ie nothing.
Bummer.
Time for a beer.

Why dont some fucking numptys understand what the booking list is for in the washing machine room?

idiots!