The vent

I'm both pissed off and bewhildered at the same time. Hubby forgot or just didn't get around to paying the tax on his motorcycle. It's only a lousy 59 euros so not exactly something that we need to carefully budget. This morning I got woken up by the nice tax man paying a personal visit. Apparently they sent out two late payment notices but I don't remember seeing them. It's possible we didn't get them, actually, since our house has three addresses and the post office keeps returning stuff addressed to our "legal" address as shown on the various official paperwork. I had the same trouble with the insurance people, until we got them to add another mailing address to our policies. Our "regular" mailing address is totally different - another street name and a different house number. Then there's our third address which is exclusively used by the phone company and doesn't show up on any map ever produced, but that's another story and nothing to do with the tax man.

So he complained that he couldn't find our house, complained that the number on the house doesn't match his official records, and told me that we'd have to pay a fine of 20 euros for the late motorcycle tax. But the amazing part is that he remained very friendly, polite, and quite... well... human the whole time! Even laughed and smiled as we chatted a bit. Didn't mind at all when I asked to see his id, and cheerfully produced it while commenting that I was quite right in asking to see it.

So I'm pissed off at Hubby for not paying the tax. I'm still pissed off about having three completely different addresses for our house. But I'm astonished that a pleasant, smiling beamte would come to my home asking for 79 euros. He even thanked me when I gave him cash, gave me a receipt I can read, wished me a pleasant day and shook my hand before leaving.

Gawdammit... just as I was getting used to surly and unpleasant beamte in Germany, this guy has to show up and disprove all my theories about beamte in Germany!

Or maybe he's just the exception that proves the rule? Or else I'm out 79 euros to a convincing con man. Very confusing start to my day.

2 punctures in one week. I'm getting pretty pissed off with this.

my supervisor asked for another draft, but the deadline is 19th of september! in any case I don't have enough time to take into account his comments!!!AAAAAA

Read my fecking mails before you send a shitload of mails to 100 people, you bloody stupid idiot of a shipping line agent! AAAAARGHHHHH.

Fcuking German keyboards.

Watch this from you tube you might enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwzcBZrM3Js

Nobody likes a bully - internet or otherwise.

You can throw your weight around (both literal and metaphorical) as much as you like - I don't give a crap - but you are still a bully.

A thin veil of altruism is just that.

Great, time to cycle home and there's a big fucker of a storm coming. Thanks for that.

Purple means 'I get wet when I'm underneath it'.

If I create a concept for installation, dont just change to your non standard concept and do the installation anywhere you like. fucking consulants. doing mroe than they were hired to do.

sexist pigs!!!!

Fuck you protesters - anywhere! You always harp on about the beauty of free speech and how it is your right, but as soon as someone has a different opinion to you, you chant them down or even attack them. Go have a shower you stinky hippie bastards.

Let's see... I'm 40, old and excessively tired. The bod doesn't spring back like it used to. That alone is bad enough.

Add to that I'm 8 months pregnant, have high blood pressure, gestational diabetes and dependent on insulin. Now I'm told I may have heart problems. I'm seeing five different specialists and have 4-5 appointments per week, every week, sometimes 2 per day, for the last couple months. This is f'ing exhausting at a time I'm supposed to be resting and taking it easy.

I don't have transportation so I'm walking everywhere I go, on a right bad knee and a bad left foot. Nothing to be done for it. This makes for a hilariously pathetic limp and the German staring going into hyperdrive. I hate the staring.

I can't sleep for the last three months. What moments of unconsciousness I do achieve are found propped up on one elbow until it goes numb, with my head on my own shoulder, then turning my enormous bulk over and propping up on the other until I can't feel it anymore. Lather, rinse, repeat. As a result of this it feels like I've popped both shoulders out of joint.

I need to go to the bathroom constantly but when I'm there can't relieve myself of more than a teaspoon or two at a time. I've actually walked out of a bathroom, gotten 4-5 steps beyond the door and had to turn around and go back in. This is especially tedious when you're limping around in public trying to get errands and doctor's appointments done with a preschooler depending on you. The world's sweetest most cooperative preschooler, but still. Thirty-two days to go and I seriously wonder if I'm going to survive it.

I'm behind on my housework in a country that uses this as the number one criteria for judging whether a woman is worth wasting air on. Needless to say I fail and expect my air privileges to be revoked at any moment.

My husband's manager at work is riding him like a rodeo horse, making his life a total hell while simultaneously praising another member of the team who constantly f's up, leaving my husband and a third team member to clean up the mess. Constantly. For six and a half years. My husband is ready to quit his job. It's come down to his job or his health. Last night we stayed up all night talking about it because he couldn't de-stress enough to go to sleep. He went to work this morning after having been up for going on 48 hours because of this a**hole. I told him I will stand behind him leaving this position because it's his life or his job, and no job is worth this. I'd rather be poor with a living husband. I don't discount how incredibly difficult this is going to be, though, and I don't look forward to it, but we'll get through it somehow, I guess. I hope. I just wish there were something concrete I could do to help him.

In addition, our landlord is trying to evict us because he wants our apartment for himself. We've nowhere to go and no money to go there. No one gives a sh*t. Not that I should've expected them to.

On top of all this, our whole fam-damly is sicker than a dog with some kind of flu, and has been for weeks.

I just finished mopping the kitchen floor. Yes, me. Mopped. And what happened? The damned cat walked all over it while it was still wet and so now I have to mop it again!

woof.

right, so you say hello, then tell me all about your kid and the problems you have with the kids mother and that you just told her that you will not pick up the kid tonight even though it was planned for weeks, and it was clear that it would be your turn, and just screwed over her plans coz you want to go partying with your mate that you've just left standing in the street coz you thought you had to tell me all about your EX even though i dunno who you are and then you ask me out for a coffee??? wtf???...

well, do you seriously think that i would go for a coffee with you when all you do is telling me stuff about your ex in the approx 5 min we spoke, sorry you spoke??? you didnt even bother to tell me who you are! why the fuck would i go for coffee with you???

Drunken old German people with nothing to do with your time... PUH-LEEZ, for the love of all that is good and holy, quit pulling my washer out and leaving it in the middle of the washroom floor. And do QUIT separating my garbage can from the pack and sitting it across the courtyard like it has leprosy. WHY are you doing this? Do you not see how difficult it is for me to push the washer back against the wall? What has my garbage can done to offend you?

While I'm at it, it would be really nice if you didn't start drinking at 6:00am then roam around the house tweaking things to suit your bedraggled sense of perfection. When I pass you in the hallway it stings my eyes and takes my breath. You could better use this time washing your bottom, because I can smell it before I see you.

You knit together faster! you f*cking stupid toes

Boss, I really like you and enjoy my job, but when I've sweated and slaved translating a claim in rotten German legaleeze into comprehensible English I'd prefer not to have the results referred to as "turgid". I got the contents across, if you want me to clean up the language as well, say so.

Right good people of Munich. Soon I'll be cycling home and I hope more of you are looking where you are going than were this morning. I know it's wet, cold and raining but that does not excuse you from looking where you are going. I'm getting a bit ticked off with having to think and look for you, it's cold and wet for me too but someone has to use their eyes don't they

Gd Dmn Mthr Fckng DB/MVV personnel. I hope you get freakn run over by a train today for purposely (by your mean nature or by your complete lack of fckng knowing your job) making tons of people miss planes and work today because of your complete lack of competence.

fckwits!

Backed. What a shit-fight getting to work this morning was.

Same here, I had to cancel an appointment with my cute orthopedist. No service on the U3 for 20 minutes, and not a single mumbling word from HQ.

FUCKING NHS YOU ARE FUCKING SHITE!!!!!
50 fucking minutes waiting in eager anticipation for you to perform a medical you promised me was possible last week on the phone for you to fucking turn round and say its too complex for you and you wont do it. this totally fucks up and may prevent me starting my job on time cos you gave me fucking shit information on the phone.

yes im fucking stressed as it took fucking ages to build up to the notion of an old fucking man feeling my balls and sticking fingers up my ass as well as screening me for fucking drugs and the fucking rest of that stupid fucking list I FUCKING HATE THE TWAT THAT THOUGHT THE NHS WAS A GOOD IDEA. CANT FUCKING WAIT TO GO PRIVATE.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOW THE ONLY SO CALLED FUCKING PRIVATE PLACE THAT WILL DO THIS MEDICAL IN SCOTLAND IT SEEMS IS 30 FUCKING MILES AWAY AND NOT ANSWERING THE FUCKING PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thanks to FUCKING nhs incompetence im going to have to fork out 400 FUCKING POUNDS tomorrow!!! FUCKING C*&TS!!!

IM FUCKING RAGING RIGHT NOW!!!

sorely tempted to add a "0" after the "number of glasses of daily alcoholic consumption:" to see if you even FUCKING notice you incompetent FUCKING wankers!!!

No I will not turn it down. It is George fucking Clinton.

People who drive Mercedes and wear hats and have license plates with three letter before the sticker and two after (read: farmers from the sticks) should NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE in MUNICH DURING RUSHHOUR!!! Argghhhhhhhh!

You come to me for advice... You get free advice..

You then listen to the Unwashed and buy what they recomend...

You ask me to make it work for you...

I Stupidly agree to, but you want it in a different place than I suggested...

I stupidly agree to install YOUR chosen item where YOU want...

4 Times now it has caused you problems and I have to come and fix it free of charge because of my warranty service!

Dont fecking ask for advice then go against my 23yrs of Experience!

My unspeakably stingy successor in Lohhof now wants the satellite dish de-installed after all. Where can I get marihuana seeds to sow on the roof instead?

And my landlords helped themselves to the metal shelving and wine rack that I had left in the basement expressly for the successor. Not to mention the box full of gardening stuff (fertilizer, grass seed, etc.). Thieving bastards.

TWAT!

Just fucking think will ya???

PERLEASE!!!!!

Bloody woman's done it again. I don't want to see her, have had enough. She can see how the little thief looks after her. Stupid cow!

Why the hell doesn't the standard Nokia USB cable charge the damn phone from the USB port??? FFS what a stupid piece of design.

The awful awful girls of tonight's Popstars!!! How can it be that one of the got to the next round? And why the hell am I watching that show?

Now I see why - so the bastards can charge 26 euro for a cable! This cable has a USB connector on one end, a diode in the middle, and a 2mm charger connection on the other and those bastards want 26 euro! Here's how to make your own and not be ripped off. Nokia? Thieving bastards

I've got the fucking flu.

I also have friends coming over for the weekend expecting a high standard of debauchery.

Does anyone want to babysit three English siblings? They're guaranteed to cause mayhem wherever they go but they're reasonably housetrained.

Eejit. Why am I such a moron!

You wanker, you funking "local" wanker..

I make one hole in a 50m² wall a hole big enough to put your "pinkie" finger in...

I seal it with "Aussen" filler...

Perlease, do not tell me that it is the wrong filler, just ceause it does not have tiny flecks of polystyrene in it for Insulation....

Please, please fuck off and go calculate the differences in thermal properties of "My" filler and "Your" filler... I needed less than 2 thimbles of filler to fill the hole!!...

You wanker!

Stupid old cows, if you have a dog that lunges towards mine and barks hysterically, do not ignore it but then look totally upset when mine barks back. Just because your dog is the size of a lunch box does not mean you can let it run around acting aggressively.

Not sure it's a vent yet but my mother just phoned to say she got re-married today.

Might turn into one once I think it through and start to feel left out...

seriously, how many times a day do you need to walk your dog? Because every single time I am outside, you are walking your aggressive/annoying/barky/lungy dog past my house. Every time. Go get a fucking job and a life and stop pacing my street with your untrained dog!!

Okay, Mr Boss, so it might well be your job to motivate people to do a lot of work in very little time, but if you go home early again on a Saturday, leaving me with so much shit work to do that I have to run around like a headless chicken to get as much of it done as possible, and to leave the place in a fit state for the regional manager to come a visiting on Monday morning.... I swear I will phone the regional manager straight away, and you can get a written warning!
i might well be the Dep von Dienst, but enough is enough!!!

So we are buying a house in the US and getting our funding from Lloyds TSB offshore. We've had to extend escrow like 3 times now, and since July 31, have been paying $150 per day until we do close. Our escrow officer knows this, specifically, and was supposed to draw up a power of attorney so my dad can sign our loan documents, thus cutting down the time of them being mailed to us, us going to the embassy to get them notarized, and then mailing them back. 2 days later I call to inquire about whether she's done the POA yet, she sighs, no she hasn't. Goddamit- we're paying $150 a day for her to drag her ass?? We get them, have them notarized, sent back via DHL next day, and now a week later they say they haven't gotten them back from us. I send them the tracking info from DHL clearly showing that someone at their office has signed, but as this is Friday, it's obviously not a priority and no one has even emailed me back. Fuck, it must be great when your fuck-ups only cost other people their money, and they still have to pay you.

To the smart ass smoker at Schottenhammel who thought it would be cool to flick his still-lit cigarette into the crowd: Wanker!! You burned a big hole in my expensive dirndl! You are damn lucky it didn't land in my hair! Jerk.

Pregnancy is not an illness! So, because this country puts pregger women on pedestals... you no longer have to work, leaving us short staffed again! We are all booked out for 4 months, now you say, tomorrow is your last day..... and WE have to clean up your mess, as heaven forbid a pregnant women work!

To Herr and Frau Fuckwad on Lufthansa flight from Istanbul to Munich today. The plane is not your jackass kids' playground, and allowing them to run and jump in the aisle for an HOUR just shows what total fucking bleep bleep bleeping shit piss people you are! ARghhh! (The Aristocrats)

Where's that "people who need a punch in the face thread" when you need it?

Fckin printer

AAAAAAAA. was supposed to be in Greece on Sunday morning suddenly got an update. apparenty the flight has been changed to the evening.
losing a whole day when I could be lying on the beach!!!

It's time you went on vacation - I need the rest.
(not the previous poster, someone else)

I can't deal with people cutting in late when you're in a traffic jam but these arseholes who steam up the inside on the breakdown lane are even worse. We're all in a hurry you wankers.

hate people who break arrangements in the last minute
have nowhere to sleep after holiday. have nowhere to put my luggage. now have to rethink and organise evrth through before flying. speechless

Have no painkillers.

Was at the Wiesn all yesterday.

Work in a hospital.

THEY WON'T GIVE ME DRUGS!!!

If anyone comes in here and suggests a nice cup of herbal tea I'm going to rip their spine out and use it to break into the painkillers.

This Rhetorical Quiz has absolutely nothing to do with the evening stroll I just took with my dog around my neighborhood, during which I stopped at a gas station to get a bottle of water and a Maxi King.

It only has two questions.

Question One: If you are an Italian couple pulling into a large, spacious BP gas station to stock up on snacks, do you:

A-- Park in any one of the free parking spaces which is not currently occupied by a large dog tied to a pole

or

B-- Turn on your brights and pull up within 30 centimeters of the Exotic Giant Albino Alpine Fox tied by his leash near the door of the gas station, a shy creature which is, for unknown reasons, afraid of large vehicles with bright lights driving up to his face when he can´t escape?

Question Two: If you are a gas station attendant and a woman standing in line to pay, after suddenly rushing out with a bottle of water and a Maxi King in hand, unpaid, comes back in ten seconds later and straight up to the counter with money in hand but a dog´s leash in the other, do you:

A-- Immediately take the money for the goods which takes 15 seconds

or

B-- Inform the woman that she needs to leave the store because she has a dog?