The vent

So after returning from the US on the 15th (& showing my passport in Frankfurt airport) the next day I could not find my wallet with passport, credit cards, various licenses...
So following day turned house upside down. I phoned all the telephone numbers for lost&found in Frankfurt & Hamburg airport plus the Lufthansa central lost&found. No luck. So cancelled credit cards etc, reported passport as lost...

This morning my 18yr son appeared holding my wallet with all contents & said "Happy Christmas". He had gone to his desk to pick up his driving license & ID before driving to his class mate's for a LAN-party. Buried deeper in his desk was my wallet. HOW IT GOT THERE - not him as he never tidies anything away...

At least got all licenses back but have to reapply for passport (expensive!) as its been cancelled...

Beware of women who tidy up & don't know what they are tidying!

Friggin stupid windows Vista!
I cannt unzip my files or move other files because apparently I can't copy from one directory to another if it is on the same data media - grrrrr - but I can't access the temp file with the zip files . - grrrrr- I was hoping to have all my work done before I get back to germany and now I have to transfer everything back to my old laptop. grrrr.

Need to vent about the fact that right now, I am on the phone to one of my brother's "weird" and extremely talkactive friends...there's no chance of ending this phone call on a friendly note now...that dude is driving me mad!! There's a definite reason why he does not use caller ID...he is just painful to listen to!
how rude would it to just put the phone on the table, let him talk and go back to my book?? Or hang up and pretend the line went dead...
*whinge*

Soz for the sudden change of topic...but this thread is for venting right???

*AAAAARRGHHHH*

I am expecting a big big headache in the morning!

Occassionally I go to McDonalds in the morning to pick up a couple of McMuffins. Well, maybe not occassionally, once or twice a week. Hey, I like 'em But isn't McDonalds a FAST FOOD restaurant? I KNOW for a fact that it is or am I just smoking crack? It always was in the past. Everywhere in the world I've ever eatten at one (and that is A LOT of countries). There's a McDonalds in Gross Umstadt, they're fast. There's one in Dieburg too and they're also fast. But the one in Darmstadt? Slower than snail shit flowing up-hill in the winter. They used to be fast, but the last 2 months or so it's been getting progressively worse. Here's my conversation from yesterday (spoken in German):

0658 (McD): Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?
(ME) Good morning. I'd like 2 Egg McMuffins, please. That would be all.
(McD) What would you like to drink with that? Coffee?
(ME) Just the 2 McMuffins. That's all.
(McD) No coffee? Orange Juice?
0659: I ignore drive through attendant on speaker and drive to the window with my 3,60 Euro in hand (I've been here a few times)
(ME) <I pay 3,60> Just the McMuffins. I don't want anything to drink.
(McD) Ok, this will take just a minute.
0705 (ME) <tapping on drive through window> Is this going to take long?
(McD) Almost ready
0710 (ME) <tap tap tap> HELLO??!!
(McD) They're just finished now.
(ME) Let me talk to your manager, please
(Manager) What?
(ME) Why is it that the first customer of the day is waiting over 10 minutes for 2 McMuffins? This IS a fast food restaurant, isn't it?
(Manager) We don't pre-cook anything.
(ME) Do you understand the concept of "fast food"?
(Manager) We don't want to waste money.
0712 (ME) Are those my McMuffins he's wrapping?
(Manager) I think so.
(ME) <grabbing bag from window idiot> You people really are a bunch of idiots, you know?

I've sent an e-mail to McDonalds Germany to complain about the crap service.

I don't know if I should laugh, cry or quit so I'll vent instead. We got the corrected freight bills:

Our telephone number is wrong
The recipient is LLT instead of LLP
The city is down as Austin Texas
The state is down as US

I swear, if the co-worker who ordered these bills weren't pregnant she would be the only person surviving on zero brain cells. As it is she has one but will lose it in March 2008.

Wassup with fuckin' Conrad all of a sudden? I spend one hundred and fifty plus crispy solves in their wall-to-wall anorak filled establishment to get some bits I need for work on Tuesday after some twat on the pavement charged me a Euro for parking in their, meaning Conrad's Customer, meaning people like me, car park. This little freak of asphalt having foisted on my good patronage a parking receipt of the most blood-curdling and spine-tingling, not to mention wardrobe-rattling orange, that I thought, falsely it would turn out, that said magnificently Tangoed piece of paper might return said Euro paid as a regular customer to park in their CUSTOMER Car Park. Management were called to already backlogged check-out girl to confirm such insult, followed for three seconds by eighty or so carefully chosen expleto-adjectives in Southern River Cockney (or two hundred and twelve, if you count the 'F' word) and ending with the phrase take my fuckin' custom to RS Components.

If you want to be a hobby shop for anoraks, be one, if you want to serve professionals, don't, because you can't be all things to both, learn you just lost a customer.

Austrian estate agents? The most laid-back sorry piss poor bunch of tossers I have come across. And I used to be an estate agent, but these guys are to a man CLASS I gold-plated tossers.

Now I understand everything.

It's like... a Jedi Moment.

And Houston, you have a whole billing department so don't go mailing me an hour before I kick off for the year requesting me to prepare your measly little bill because you've played this little game before and then whined (hey, Texans sure as hell do whine!) because the format wasn't what you wanted. You want your bill, you go to Helen Wayte.

@Sin - I used to be lots of other lovely things as well, until I reached my current state of perfection.

But... if you were an Estate Agent, then that means only one thing... YOU are from The Dark Side.

Ugggh, just got "attacked" by some German people -- the little woman in the fur coat hit me twice, and her big, strong-looking son shoved me. Other than being stunned with surprise, none of it hurt. I suppose I did the right thing by just pointing out to them how stupid they were being, but I will probably spend a bit of time this evening fantasizing about what would have happened had I hit back. I think I could have taken them.

My boyfriend passed out about 40 minutes ago and has now missed the midnight kiss and all that bullshit. Happy 2008.

Aargh, bloody smokers on the S-Bahn. Too full to move, so I politely asked them to put it out...and again. Then tried the 'commanding voice', which got their attention, but no result, so as I was wearing gloves, I snipped out their ciggies, only to be hit by a third guy. Luckily I saw it and mainly ducked under it, only a glancing blow, and luckily it stopped at that. Total lack of any word by any of the onlookers, who then had the gall to move away after the blokes lit up again. I did the same, but not without telling the nearest people they should have said something.

One of the smokers had the cheek to complain the ban had barely started. WTF? It's always been banned on the S-Bahn, whether it's New Year or not.

Happy New Year, and welcome to the smoking ban

Wish I had passed out. Instead I have a pocket full of debit card receipts and no recollection whatsover of midnight. Why do they allow people to use cards to pay when they are visibly out of it?

Little fucking Brat!
Stop saying "Warum" all the bastard time I ask you to do something!!!

supposed to be working today, but my fucking entry pass for the building is blocked, despite assurances from the boss and secretary (who are both on holiday until Monday) that it would be fine...grrrr..no worky, no earny...well,I think I might just charge them for it anyway, arseholes

Do you have those assurances in writing or at least an e-mail? If they are verbal they are worthless. Certainly you should complain to them in writing otherwise they could turn tables on you & claim you didn't appear for work...

Just had a call from work and 2 people there got the same problems, passes don't work to let them in and also their logons have expired.

Means i have to go in and try and sort it out.

Was counting on a lazy few days off till next week.

because I had to be at work an hour early today to let a computer guy into the office next door and on my cycle ride to work some asshole decides to park on the cycle path forcing me to swerve around him, knocking me off my bike onto my back and head. I was wearing a helmet but the impact knocked it right off my head. Since I'm alone in the office today I had no choice but to cycle on the rest of the way so someone would be there there to let the guy in.

Guy still isn't here ...

and now it turns out the guy isn't coming at all

My vent:

There are no Targets in Germany.

I am sick of amphibious cyclists who dive from the cycle track onto the road without warning and jump back onto the cycle track when it pleases them. I almost knocked one over. Make up your minds! You are not invincible! I don't want to have your brains splattered on the road on my account.

My work is GONE! It is GONE! The computer has eaten it! I curse it with boils unto the twelfth generation!

*unintelligible sound of mingled fear, fury and despair*

I am not a happy bunny.

Just back from the dentist, so here is my rant. I have no problem with dentists at all and this was my first & last trip to this one:

Dear Dentist,

I came to see you for a filling, not a cleaning & a filling. So don't start drilling where I didn't fucking ask you to drill, okie dokie? And don't keep fucking telling me to "keep your eyes open, it will hurt less". I'd keep my fucking eyes open if you had some fucking safety glasses to keep the spray out of my damn eyes, dickhead. Yeah, I really want your toilet water and my blood mixed together and sprayed into my eyes to make my trip to your hell hole more memorible. Speaking of safety, have you ever heard of wearing rubber gloves? Bare handed dentistry went out with the fuckin' afro and bell bottoms. Don't look at me like a freak when I stop you from sticking your dick beaters in my mouth without gloves on. And don't throw a fuckin tantrum when I request that you put said rubber gloves on before proceeding. I don't know where your nasty ass fingers have been. On another topic, do you see ANY shiney shit in my mouth? No? Are you sure about that? Then why in the fucking hell did you use some shiney shit to repair my tooth? None of my other dental work is shiney silver! Fucking cocksucking asshat! And NO, I do NOT want to hear your political views on Afganistan or Iraq while you have a drill in my mouth. I didn't come to see you for the conversation, fix the fuckin tooth and move on to your next victim, ya prick.

Yeah, I won't be coming back to you.

How can it be that the Munich airport does not have any contact numbers for the airlines represented there? I had to contact Brussels Air early this morning to reschedule a flight, their offices do not open until 9am. The airport was able to give me a number in Frankfurt, same thing there.
And Brussels Air, I have seldom seen a website better suited to confuse and intimidate any passenger in distress or just in a hurry. It took me about ten minutes to find your list of airport desks. Rotten, really. And then the Munich desk couldn't send an e-mail confirming the change. I thought we lived in the age of mass media and communication highways.

American Airlines...

There really is nothing more to be said.

i flew with them and everything went as planned. okay, how could they know that someone would have a heart attack shortly after take-off from FRA, but we were rerouted to Manchester without any fuss. okay, sure, they reduced their holiday schedule from DFW to Austin so, being only 300 miles and a 35 min flight home, I had to spend Christmas Eve in the Hyatt in Dallas since I missed my flight. And okay, so they gave us dinner vouchers for $10 and a meal cost a minimum of $12. breakfast voucher for $5 - my cafe latte was $4,50 (pre-tax). but I got home early enough for Christmas dinner, had a nice comfy hotel to stay in and they even gave me a toothbrush.

flight back was uneventful. my layover in DFW was only an hour! all this for €530!

The stupid amateur Yahoo Groups website cannot even display Umlauts on Groups messages!
They must have given the job to the "new guy". The idiots.
OK the Yahoo groups facility is free. But it doesnt help them to display web imcompetence!

I had an Ikea delivery--need I say anything more.?? First of all, they said they could be there at 7 in the morning. What the hell time of day is that? I'm usually off to Tubingen at 7 AM to drive my son to school because the school here refused my kid, and since Wednesday is the one day that he can't be late (the class is on the bus early for swimming) so my husband had to go in late--yes, folks, for him to leave any later than 6:15 in the morning is late--while I waited for bloody Ikea. "It's a little dirty" says the workman--a little dirty--I'd say so--thought he was talking about the sides---nope, deep rust stains when I turn the damn thing over--plus the stupid legs are missing--and the damn delivery guys KNEW the sofa was missing pieces. Not their problem !THen, I had 60 euro on me--and they couldn't make change!! I am so used to Japan where you could give even the dumpling guy the equivalent of 50 bucks and he wouldn't bat an eye and give you back most of it in change --never had any problem in Japan with delivery and workmen not having plently of money on them--one great thing about that country. (True, the Japanese have absolutely butchered their landscape--if I had to see one more cemented over hill--courtesy of the yakuza -run construction companies I thought I would scream, but by God people carried wads of cash around and no problem!) So I am asking my daughter if she had any euro--and she's STILL at home because the damn Gymnasium system in Tubingen is falling apart and there are no substitute teachers and her regular teacher is on a SENIOR CLASS SKI TRIP--and she says no---and I am running around like crazy for 5 minutes when she finally admits that she had some euro saved for shopping. I was so damn pissed--she saw me running around--I asked her repeatedly--she's 12 in a few weeks--time for a little bit of growing up on her part. Now, this is bad enough but we had the SAME problem last time we dealt with Ikea--missing bits--except that time we were trying to set up our kitchen because this one has NO cupboard space-- I had more usable counterspace in my one bedroom apartment in D.C.--who in the hell designed this house should have been shot--I never would have taken the place except our kids had to be in school RIGHT AWAY since the Admin office had screwed up our papers and we arrived so late in Germany. I think the doctor who owns the place just took her kid out or had the maid open a jar of pickles for dinner--so we were left with boxes and boxes jammed in the kitchen and no cupboards because they couldn't even get a flat shipment order right and then were out of stock--no functioning kitchen for two weeks because of bloody Ikea. I wouldn't even deal with them except the dollar is so weak--thanks Bush, but the economy is still collapsing despite your feeble attempts at propping it up--so Ikea and MDF it is! Luckily I had all the paperwork at hand and dealt with a sweet woman who was struggling with a cold and was having a great deal of difficulty hearing because her cold had made her deaf. So, another week and I will be missing part of my first week of intensive German classes because of Ikea since I will have to stay home--they might as well pick my damn pocket! And I'll bet you anything that something will still go wrong and we won't get the legs or something equally asinine. I think we should just go and get a GD truck from them and do it ourselves since they are such idiots!!

people, if you have an active cold then stay home! Don`t come to me with your green snotty gooby nose, and don`t snort it back, you know where it goes? in the back of your mouth! So, I get to see it twice then! You are plugging up the suction!

Is it just me or were the forums changed around into different sub-forums? I'm confused. Now I always have to look for the forum before I can click it when it used to be sort of automatic before.

Co-worker, stop turning a normal phone call into an intense and therapeutic conversation and then huffing at the person at the other end for not accepting your advice. I am trying to work* and can't concentrate when I have to listen to your psycho-advice twice!
*until I had to come here to vent
note to self: Do not try to talk sense into Haggis Junior on the phone so as not to bug the co-worker in the same manner
EDIT: Dammit, now she's pounding on the desk with her fist, I really cannot work like this!

Cat 1: please refrain from ripping the ties off my apron and eating them whole. I am not looking forward to inspecting your bowel movements for the next few days until said ties are found.

Cat 2: please refrain from climbing on top of the very tall dresser and then trying to walk trapeze style on the top of the open door. If you insist on continuing this practic, please do not lose your balance and fall and if you must fall please do not do this first thing in the morning when I'm still half asleep in bed.

About seven months ago I was told that, in three months' time, I would be starting in a new department. Well, now it is seven months later and it seemed that a rather abrupt decision had been made and I started to pack my office when, oops, oh no, something came up, and now I am back in a holding pattern again. It wouldn't be so bad if I were back in my old office, but seven months ago I was "temporarily" put somewhere to replace someone and most of my office is still boxed up in the filestore because I am sharing an office (with a cutie ). So right now at work I feel like the ugly stepdaughter that none of the relatives want to have. I know there are a lot of politics going on in the background (plus lots of higher management is on vacation), but I wish they'd take their fingers out of theirears and make a decision! I've been floating around in limbo for over half a year now and just want my work situation to be settled for at least the short-term future so that I can get on with it! I am seriously pissed off because I am an intelligent, creative problem-solver who gets along well with people and whose ass should be getting kissed by her bosses, but is not being put to any good use at the moment. I don't think I am good at being a little fish in a big pond...

The cat has found a secret stash of something that makes him gassy. Pungeantly so. And he uses it to his advantage, much too early in the morning.

I just tried to book 3 ticket with LH online via their web using Lastschrift (done several times before) & it claims "my credit card info cannot be processed".

OMG


I'm so glad I didn't have spinach spätzle for lunch

After been in Berlin for a few months now, I went on a tram trip to see the many sights it has to offer because I was getting a little bit fed up (to say the least) with being surrounded by tall buildings. Off I did go on my merry jaunt across town, only to discover that Berlin is just one vast interlacing development of bastard towerblocks. I did some checking out. In Mitte alone, there's over half as many people as there is in the whole of Sheffield, which is numerously times biggger (and greener, and friendlier, and there's more opportunities to be had for work, and they speak a language that's intelligable and not laced with rediculous fucking grammar, and it also got heavily bombed in the war (which we won by the way, not that you'd believe it) but we don't make a song and dance about it). Sheffield is an infinitely more beautiful city than this shit tip I've somehow arrived in (temporarilly, I'll add at this point).
How do Germans expect for anyone to know what they're on about if they don't speak English. It boggles the mind, it really does.
Anyway, Whilst out on my reconnaissance mission, I sat patiently waiting on the tram for the conductor to come and give me a ticket, only to be accosted shortly after by a rather stern looking 'Frau', and her two henchmen (both, might I add, were dressed in brown). I tried to pay but was promptly removed fron said tram at the next stop where we engaged in the most bloodyminded of disussions I've had for a long time. She babbling on in whichever teutonic dialect she had the misfortune to posses, and me in Old English with a generous smattering of broard Yorkshire thrown into the mix ('Thee's' and 'Thar's', 'W'sup wi thi, an what's tha took mi off ot' old booan sheker fooar?'(their trams are rather old)) , neither of us giving an inch. She ended up fining me 40 Euros (pronounced Oyros), the bitch.
Well I have enjoyed this and my well return for another rant in the near future.

Nice wind-up!

Dear neighbor: when my dog pees on a strip of grass you sound really stupid when you tell me to pick up the dog poo. There is a pretty big difference between urinating and defecating, which, even at sundown, can be spotted by observation of the stance of said canine. When corrected about your misconception and asked to identify yourself because you are yelling from some dark window, do not react like a blubbering idiot and talk about the lack of hygiene in urine (which contains no germs or bacteria) and scream about children playing there. Why would a child roll around on a little strip of grass in the middle of winter? If you have such a problem with my dog's urine (and no problem with the rabbit poo and the cat business in the sandbox), maybe you could be active in helping get a place designated for dogs to go to if the rest of the neighborhood is supposed to be as clean as your kitchen floor.

Dear other neighbor: if I take some bags out of my car and leave some of them in my parking space in the parking garage because I cannot carry them all up at once, this is not an invitation for you to tear open the bags, strew the contents all over my parking spot, and walk off with half of them. Some of these things did not belong to me and now I have to explain to my friend that the nice neighbors who hate my dog have no problem with theft.

Wow, looks like you're settling into your new place well Ruthie.

Can't be much fun to find you have moved into anti dog hell.

Unfortunately, I was wrong when I thought evil neighbors were just a problem in my old building. I apparently really bother people by existing. IF I ever purchase another property in Germany again it will be an old farmhouse in the countryside where I can do as I please. Then I will be really naughty. I will go outside in pajamas AND with my hair in curlers. No make-up. I will let my dog run free and lick anyone he wants to if they are on my property. I will walk on the grass despite its apparently being there for purely decorative purposes. I will leave my bike in plain view of the cows, and I will also hang laundry to dry outside. I will decorate my balcony as I want to, not worrying about the width of the grey and white stripes on the tarp. Feeling aggressive today. Very, very aggressive.

Time to move to Erding

Which is exactly why we bought our house!! I often go out in my PJs to put the garbage out.

OK, my vent:

Dumb ass town garbage people did not pick up my Christmas tree on Wednesday morning but they picked up everyone else's. I have no idea why not. Grrrrr.

Dear Pathetic German Grocers,

When I purchase fresh produce from your store, I expect it to be FRESH and to last longer than a day in my pantry. I purchased the 5kg bag of potatoes because you had nothing else, and I needed potatoes. Probably a few might go bad before I can eat them all. However, I do not expect to throw half of them away after two days because they are squishy and covered in mold already. Before purchasing, I checked them very carefully since this has happened before. And you know the stalks of celery that I purchased yesterday? Were they shipped on the slow boat? I was only able to use TWO pieces. The rest were completely rotten on the inside. WTF?

And to all those Germans who say "our produce is sooo much better than what you have in the US", bite me. When I want a Gala apple, I want a Gala apple. Not a Granny Smith. Not a Red Delicious. Not something that's kind of like a Gala. I want a Gala, and I want all of the Galas in my bag to taste mostly the same... like Galas.

I feel a little better.

Dear telecom

If i call you to report my dsl not working, please fix the problem and not simply reset the line! And for fucks sake, don't try and desperatly sell me new products when the existing shit still isn't working. Fucking useless muppets..

How the fuck can my dsl be stable for 4 months and then won't sync and stay sync'd for love nor money,

Useless bastards

Cos i'm gonna be fired at 08.30 tomorrow morning and the person who should be backing me up, having given them a job and looked after them, won't even answer the phone and looks like they may have a hand on the tiller in all this.

It truly breaks my heart, i have never felt so lonely and betrayed ever, even through two divorces.