Sometimes you just gotta laugh: Woman Hit By Lightning While Praying.
I needed a home for bizarre news that I come across.
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Odd news
Weird and wacky global news items
See yours and up you one.
Armless Man Stopped for Speeding
Armless Man Stopped for Speeding
Your tax money down the drain? - Austrian tax collector forgets $28,000 in the men's room.
Are we seeing some kind of trend here? Priest dies in plunge after prayers - Jesuit goes through chapel floor as Roman well opens up
Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God
Got to love them crazy Christains.
QUOTE
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery"
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery"
Got to love them crazy Christains.
@Sin,
that reminds me of a joke :
During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left behind.
"We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat and we'll carry you to safety!"
But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the Lord will save me."
The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later, when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat appears.
"Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save you!"
But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save me!"
The water level keeps rising until the man is standing on his chimney and barely keeping his head above water, and a helicopter, doing a final check, appears overhead. It drops a rope, and the loudspeaker says, "Grab the rope and we'll bring you to safety!"
But the man waves the helicopter away, once again saying, "No, the Lord will save me!"
But the water level keeps rising, and he drowns.
When he gets to heaven, he is completely bewildered. He asks God, "God, why didn't you save me?"
And God says, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
that reminds me of a joke :
:During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left behind.
"We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat and we'll carry you to safety!"
But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the Lord will save me."
The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later, when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat appears.
"Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save you!"
But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save me!"
The water level keeps rising until the man is standing on his chimney and barely keeping his head above water, and a helicopter, doing a final check, appears overhead. It drops a rope, and the loudspeaker says, "Grab the rope and we'll bring you to safety!"
But the man waves the helicopter away, once again saying, "No, the Lord will save me!"
But the water level keeps rising, and he drowns.
When he gets to heaven, he is completely bewildered. He asks God, "God, why didn't you save me?"
And God says, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
QUOTE
She said 'Amen' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire. The 65-year-old Brown said she is blessed to be alive.
ok... is that what you call a "baptism by fire"?
This is definitely wacked.
QUOTE
In an interview this week with Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison, who was just elected as America's first-ever Muslim member of Congress, Headline News' Glenn Beck actually asked the following question:
"OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly. With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.' And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."
"OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly. With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.' And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."
But the funniest part is that the interview was on CNN.
Python Retrieved from American Tank - Plumber saw head peeking out of the toilet
Urrrgh!
Urrrgh!
It's good that the phyton did not peek out of the toilet when the lady was taking a dump.
OK. To give the background. Tara Conner wone Miss USA and then proceeded to embark on a alcohol and drug binge up to the point that Donald Trump had to consider "firing" her.. He decided to give her a second chance and in a tearful press conference she promised to be good and actually fulfil her "desire to travel, and help those less fortunate than herself", or whatever bollocks these brainless bimbos promise during beauty pagents... Well, Rosie O'Donnell was not too happy about Trump's compassion and she had some fiery words for Donald Trump on The View Wednesday morning, calling him a "snake-oil salesman" following his announcement. She also said the following about Mr Trump -
Trump, on the possible lawsuit -
QUOTE
The battle began on Wednesday's show, when a peeved O'Donnell said: "(He) left the first wife – had an affair. (He) had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America. Donald, sit and spin, my friend."
So... Mr Trump fired back HERETrump, on the possible lawsuit -
QUOTE
Taking money out of her big, fat ass is something that would be pretty easy to do...
Here is an interesting news item that gives a whole new meaning to the expression "a legal headache":
Man fights to keep bullet in head.
Man fights to keep bullet in head.
Not sure if any of you are familiar with the movie Snakes on a Plane, but this story a few days ago had me smiling: Passengers Fly Into a Panic Over Stowaway Mice
Mexican sewage divers submerge in murky world
And another oddity:
Bar owner charged with obscenity for mashed spud wrestling event
Hell of a pizza angers church
Court rules in favor of topless protester
QUOTE
Julio Cesar Cu wanted to be an oceanographer but instead he swims through foul-smelling sewage in underground tunnels where the occasional dead body bobs beside excrement and car parts. "I like diving as a sport. As a job I like it even more," he said. "I do a job that benefits a lot of people."
And another oddity:
Bar owner charged with obscenity for mashed spud wrestling event
QUOTE
Rhonda Cato, 48, was charged Monday with misdemeanor obscenity and violating the liquor code after what happened last Thursday at the Palace Tavern, where authorities say patrons grappled in a shallow, inflatable children's pool filled with mashed spuds.
And yet another:Hell of a pizza angers church
QUOTE
Hell Pizza is not concerned by a call by a Catholic newspaper to boycott its products in response to a recent condom mail-out. To promote its Lust pizza, Hell distributed 170,000 condoms, along with explicit instructions on their use, to homes around the country. The Lust controversy broke out shortly before Hell was purchased by new owners Tasman Pacific Foods (TPF).
Last one from me:Court rules in favor of topless protester
QUOTE
The Ormond Beach grandmother, who has challenged the city with topless protests, won another court case Thursday when a judge ruled her breast-bearing demonstration outside Peabody Auditorium was not disorderly conduct.
BERLIN, Dec 22 (Reuters Life!) - Motorists who seem to turn off their brain when switching on their car's satellite navigation system have had a number of spectacular crashes in the past year -- but occasionally they're right to blame the machine.
Drivers obeying directions given by a sultry satnav voice have crashed into rivers, construction sites and roadside toilets in Germany, and had similar accidents in Britain.
Motorists switch satnav on, brain off
Drivers obeying directions given by a sultry satnav voice have crashed into rivers, construction sites and roadside toilets in Germany, and had similar accidents in Britain.
Motorists switch satnav on, brain off
QUOTE (Lifeisabuffet @ Dec 23 2006, 9:27 am) 
BERLIN, Dec 22 (Reuters Life!) - Motorists who seem to turn off their brain when switching on their car's satellite navigation system have had a number of spectacular crashes in the past year -- but occasionally they're right to blame the machine.
Ha ha! I like the quote in the Reuters article:
QUOTE
A few weeks earlier, an 80-year-old motorist also followed his satnav instead of common sense and ignored a "closed for construction" sign on a Hamburg motorway. He hit a pile of sand at high speed but was not hurt.
"I just thought the navigation system knew a shortcut," Volker Heinemann was quoted as telling a local newspaper. His car had to be towed away.
"I just thought the navigation system knew a shortcut," Volker Heinemann was quoted as telling a local newspaper. His car had to be towed away.
Here's some recent police stories from this year's holiday season:
Happy Holidays?
QUOTE
David Allen Rodgers, 42, was arrested Dec. 3 for driving while intoxicated — at the wheel of a float during the annual Christmas parade in Anderson, S.C. According to witnesses, Rodgers sped down Main Street in the Steppin' Out Dance Studio float with 19 people aboard, ran a red light and led police on a 3-mile chase.
Police said that when Rodgers finally stopped, they found an open container of alcohol in his truck. "I made a very bad judgment on my part," Rodgers said at a court hearing.
Police said that when Rodgers finally stopped, they found an open container of alcohol in his truck. "I made a very bad judgment on my part," Rodgers said at a court hearing.
QUOTE
In Ohio's Hamilton County, a pair of 18-year-olds were arrested for using screwdrivers to stab an inflatable 12-foot-tall Frosty the Snowman. "Why me?" asked Frosty's owner, Matt Williquette. "And why Frosty?"
QUOTE
An Oklahoma woman was arrested after she visited the Delaware County Jail with a Christmas card for her incarcerated boyfriend. Police said the card held marijuana, leading to Dawn Smith's arrest.
Happy Holidays?
Santa dons hardhat after mince pie attack
Hand stuck in train toilet
QUOTE
[Santa]was forced to swap his traditional red and white hat for protective headgear after children pelted him with mince pies in Scotland.
Hand stuck in train toilet
QUOTE
A train from Wuhan to Shenzhen was delayed for over four hours when a passenger got his hand wedged in a toilet as he tried to fish his mobile phone out early on Monday morning.
Don't try this at home:
QUOTE
Over a thousand Turks spent the first day of the Muslim feast of Eid al-Adha in emergency wards on Sunday after stabbing themselves or suffering other injuries while sacrificing startled animals.
At least 1,413 people -- referred to as "amateur butchers" by the Turkish media -- were treated at hospitals across the country, most suffering cuts to their hands and legs, the Anatolia news agency reported.
. . .
Three other people suffered heart attacks and died while trying to restrain animals, CNN-Turk television reported.
At least 1,413 people -- referred to as "amateur butchers" by the Turkish media -- were treated at hospitals across the country, most suffering cuts to their hands and legs, the Anatolia news agency reported.
. . .
Three other people suffered heart attacks and died while trying to restrain animals, CNN-Turk television reported.
Ow! That's gotta hurt.
Here's a painful one: Woman Charged with Malicious Castration
Here's a painful one: Woman Charged with Malicious Castration
QUOTE
A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches, authorities said Friday. [...]Rebecca Arnold Dawson, 34, was charged with malicious castration in a fight early Tuesday at a party hosted by the 38-year-old man's girlfriend, police said. [...] Dawson is accused of grabbing the man's genitals. Police said a weapon was not used. He declined to elaborate.
Another piece of odd news; this one from Norfolk, England: Farm worker attacked by herd of pigs
QUOTE
A British farm worker needed hospital treatment after being attacked by a herd of pigs, Norfolk police said Sunday.
The 51-year-old man was knocked over by a sow at a Norfolk farm in eastern England, prompting the rest of the herd to attack him.
The 51-year-old man was knocked over by a sow at a Norfolk farm in eastern England, prompting the rest of the herd to attack him.
And then there's this one: City Settles Flour-Filled Condom Lawsuit.
QUOTE
A woman who was arrested and jailed for three weeks on drug charges for what turned out to be flour-filled condoms has settled a lawsuit against the city for $180,000. Janet H. Lee was a freshman at Bryn Mawr College in 2003 when she tried to take three condoms filled with flour in her carry-on bag on a flight to Los Angeles. Airport screeners found the condoms, and authorities said initial tests showed they contained drugs. [...]The flour-filled condoms were a phallic toy that freshmen at the women’s college would squeeze to deal with exam stress. Lee said she thought the toys were funny, so she packed them to show to friends at home.
Police in England still have no clues leading to the arrest of the pub urinal thief: Police hunt pub urinal thief.
QUOTE
The suspect walked into the Royal Oak pub in Southampton, on the English south coast, ordered half a pint of beer and then made several visits to the men's toilet.
There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a rucksack and was captured on closed circuit television walking out with the bulging sack on his back.
There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a rucksack and was captured on closed circuit television walking out with the bulging sack on his back.
And we mustn't overlook this one which happened about three years back, but the sentence was handed down a couple of weeks ago: Woman Sentenced to Prison for Raping a Sleeping Man.
QUOTE
According to court documents, the man said he found the woman performing oral sex on him as he was sleeping on the couch. The woman however said that she did indeed perform fellatio on the man but claimed he was awake and approved of what she was doing. However the man disagrees and says that the incident scared him and subsequently caused mental anguish and psychological difficulties.
New Underpants Mean You Can Fart With Confidence
QUOTE
New York (Jan 23, 2007) - An American underwear manufacturer has invented underpants designed to hide the smell of flatulence. The Under-Ease pants have a built-in, multi-layered replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool. To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs.
I may have had a glass of wine too many yesterday and didn't get enough sleep, but does this poll look wrong to you?
EDIT: Wrong file type, sorry.
Anyway, the question is: Has suicide ever touched your life?
Yes, family member 29%
Yes, friend or acquaintance 51%
No 21%
EDIT: Wrong file type, sorry.
Anyway, the question is: Has suicide ever touched your life?
Yes, family member 29%
Yes, friend or acquaintance 51%
No 21%
Other than the total being more than 100%, no. Why?
Eggsack-ly. 101%. Struck me as strange.
Social scientists should be made to take up more maths modules in the Uni, and NOT only statistics. I have always thought that these people would benefit more if they had a good lecture in topology for example...
Sword swallower skewers himself 
A German performer with the Circus of Horrors, Hannibal Helmurto (!), who happens to be an ex-tax inspector from Munich tried to get a 4ft sword down his throat but failed owing to a throat infection. This was back in November. His throat is now healed and on Friday 19th Jan he returned to action at the esteemed Beck Theatre in Hayes End, London. There seems to have been no further mishaps.
A German performer with the Circus of Horrors, Hannibal Helmurto (!), who happens to be an ex-tax inspector from Munich tried to get a 4ft sword down his throat but failed owing to a throat infection. This was back in November. His throat is now healed and on Friday 19th Jan he returned to action at the esteemed Beck Theatre in Hayes End, London. There seems to have been no further mishaps.
QUOTE
He also has giant yoyos fitted inside his earlobes and his tongue has been sliced with a laser to ensure it is permanently forked.
His stage show sees him insert huge hat pins through his face then drink water and squirt it out through the holes.
The "self-taught" Bavarian staples £10 notes to his forehead and dangles himself from just two meat hooks rammed through his back.
His stage show sees him insert huge hat pins through his face then drink water and squirt it out through the holes.
The "self-taught" Bavarian staples £10 notes to his forehead and dangles himself from just two meat hooks rammed through his back.
Uncircumcised pupils sent home
BBC link
Two questions here
1. How did they find out?
2. How often are they gonna be getting their cocks out that they'd be bullied?
BBC link
QUOTE
A Kenyan secondary school has sent home 20 boys because they were not circumcised, saying it feared they would be bullied by other students.
Two questions here
1. How did they find out?
2. How often are they gonna be getting their cocks out that they'd be bullied?
That reminds me of this little item from a few days ago: Student Fined for 4ft 'Snow Penis'
QUOTE
Police said Mr Knowles created the snow sculpture on Parker's Piece in Cambridge [England]- near the city's main police station - yesterday.[...]They said the creation was "intricate" and in a "prominent position".
QUOTE (cantthinkofawittyname @ Feb 12 2007, 11:10 pm)
Uncircumcised pupils sent home
BBC link
Two questions here
1. How did they find out?
2. How often are they gonna be getting their cocks out that they'd be bullied?
BBC link
Two questions here
1. How did they find out?
2. How often are they gonna be getting their cocks out that they'd be bullied?
2. I think it's called 'communal showers after gym class'.
I like the uncanniness here: Woman Charged in Alleged Shoe Attack on Boyfriend
This one here in Germany: Teens Turn Out to be Underarmed and Dangerous...
And then there's this one for Valentine's Day: Bathe in Chocolate this Valentine's Day
QUOTE
RIVERVIEW – A Hillsborough County woman was released from jail after she allegedly attacked her boyfriend with a shoe. Deputies say Kari Barefoot, 41, hit her boyfriend in the head with a high-heeled wooden shoe after the two got into a fight about money.
This one here in Germany: Teens Turn Out to be Underarmed and Dangerous...
QUOTE
BERLIN (Reuters) - A group of young German women used so much spray deodorant in the bathroom of a North Sea youth hostel that it set off a fire alarm and brought the local fire brigade rushing to the rescue, police said Monday.
And then there's this one for Valentine's Day: Bathe in Chocolate this Valentine's Day
QUOTE
Hakone, JAPAN - [...] In Japan it's customary for women to give chocolates to men on Valentines Day. But this spa resort in the hot spring town of Hakone is offering a whole new way of celebrating Valentines Day in Japan by inviting both men and women to bathe in a chocolate bath together.
I like this little story: Designated Driver Kicked Out of Florida Bar for Not Drinking Alcohol
QUOTE
MIAMI — A Florida man who said he only wanted to do the right thing by driving his beer-drinking friends instead was designated for disrespect by a bar owner who allegedly beat him up before tossing him, a Miami TV station reported Wednesday.
The above piccy reminds me of the Thewell cartoon "Getting a Long Little Doggie"
I like this story, even if it does sound a bit on the schmalzy side...
Mother Cat Adopts Pup Rejected by Mother
Mother Cat Adopts Pup Rejected by Mother
QUOTE
The tiny pup, named Charlie by Humane Society volunteers, nurses alongside a jumble of black and gray kittens recently born to Satin, who was surrendered to the shelter by an owner unable to care for her.
Awwwww, well that is adorable!
QUOTE
the war is over
oh sorry, i thought it said old news
oh sorry, i thought it said old news
So's this one apparently http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2989459.stm (guess that fits the title of odd and old news)
What about the Kiwi lawyer who protested the court system wearing Alice in Wonderland drag?: Cross-dressing Miss Alice Guilty of Contempt
QUOTE
AP: Feb. 14, 2007 - A New Zealand lawyer who took to wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume in court to highlight an alleged cover-up by the army has been found guilty of contempt.
How weird is this? He thought the owner wouldn't notice?
Groomer Allegedly Cuts Dog's Ear Off, Glues It Back On
Groomer Allegedly Cuts Dog's Ear Off, Glues It Back On
Thankyou for that aero, pissed myself laughing
Don't Eat The White Snow, Either!
Vermont skier misbehaves on the gondola (sorry, no pics)
Dying Man's First Time Granted
Vermont skier misbehaves on the gondola (sorry, no pics)
Dying Man's First Time Granted
QUOTE
In January, a hospice in Britain run by Sister Frances Dominica approved the wish of a 22-year-old man (born with Duchenne muscular dystrophy), who wanted to lose his virginity before he died. The Douglas House hospice arranged for a prostitute to visit him at his family's home, and the man said afterward, "It was not emotionally fulfilling, but the lady was very pleasant." [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-27-07]
Inventor of the remote control dies
Source BBC
Couldn't they just replace his batteries?
QUOTE
Robert Adler, a US inventor best known for the creation of the couch potato's dream device, the TV remote control, has died at the age of 93. He received an Emmy award in 1997 for the 1956 invention jointly with fellow engineer Eugene Polley.Adler earned more than 180 US patents throughout his 58-year career.
Source BBC
Couldn't they just replace his batteries?
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