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Odd news

Weird and wacky news items (non-Germany related)

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FuzzyTony
Vodka-Fuelled Fisherman Wrestles With Shark

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A fisherman fueled by vodka caught a 1.3-meter (4-foot) shark and wrestled it onto a jetty on Australia's south coast, suffering only small tear marks in his trousers, media reports said on Friday. Phillip Kerkhof, 41 [pictured below], caught the bronze whaler shark by hand on Monday after he spotted it chasing squid lures near the jetty at the tiny seaside town of Louth Bay in the South Australia state.

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FuzzyTony
Pensioners Attack Thief With Peas

Friday, Feb 16, 2007 (Bolton, England) - Two plucky pensioners foiled a chip shop robber with a bowl of mushy peas and a pan of boiling hot water, a court heard today.

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FuzzyTony
This poor old guy in Sweden seemed to have missed out on something important that happened in back in 1967:

STOCKHOLM (AFP) - A 79-year-old motorist in Sweden who hadn't driven to town in more than 40 years told a court he was stunned to discover that the country had switched from left to right-hand traffic -- in 1967.[...]The man, from the small town of Holmsjoe north of Karlskrona, told the court he had not driven in Karlskrona for more than 40 years and was unaware that Sweden had switched to driving on the right side of the road in 1967.

Tsk-tsk

Elderly Motorist Stunned by Switch to Right-Hand Traffic - in 1967
Mariposa
A duckling was born with four legs
Kay
She obviously doesn't lack practice:

Rebecca Johnson, 24, (...)

Mason, Johnson's fourth child, was doing well.
Bandu
Mason Matthew Parkinson


Johnson had just gotten out of the car at Highlands Hospital in Connellsville and was still in the parking lot

That explains Masons family name
DoubleVision
The beer launching fridge built by John W. Cornwell.

Have you ever gotten up off the couch to get a beer for the umpteenth time and thought, "What if instead of ME going to get the BEER, the BEER came to ME???" Well, that was how I first conceived of the beer launching fridge.

Video here: Beer Launching Fridge

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i_love_marker_ smell
News from Scotland.

Makes you think about the intelligence of people running the country:

"Prisoners demand their own pants"

Inmates of Scotland's largest prison have complained of being forced to wear dirty and ill-fitting underwear, according to a report. Barlinnie prisoners told inspectors that they were given prison-issue underpants, socks and vests which could be stained or not the right size. The overcrowded Glasgow jail is the only one in Scotland to ban prisoners from wearing their own clothing.

Chief inspector of prisons, Dr Andrew McLellan, said the issue was a concern.
"You have to take what you are given," he added. "The underwear might fit or it might not, it might be unstained or not.

Concerns raised

"I think it's a very important thing if you don't get a chance to wear you own underwear. We have seen underwear which has been washed but I wouldn't call it clean."

The inspector called for personal underwear to be issued to individual inmates and suggested that prisoners were also allowed to wear their own clothes on occasions such as family visits. Mr McLellan also raised concerns that too many fine defaulters were being sent to the prison, despite a Scottish Executive pledge to reduce the practice.

Prison inspectors found more than 10% of inmates at Barlinnie were serving time for failing to pay fines of less than £300.
Barlinnie, in greater Glasgow, is regularly more than 40% overcrowded, housing more than 1,400 inmates compared to its design limit of 1,018. But under new plans defaulter numbers in Scotland's jails could be cut by 3,000 per annum. Mr McLellan said it cost more to keep a defaulter in jail than the amount of the fine. He also criticised race relations in the prison.
Barlinnie has 41 ethnic minority prisoners - the most in Scotland - however inspectors found that the Race Relations Monitoring Group failed to meet often enough. The report also highlighted improvements at the prison, including the ending of slopping out and the upgrading of living and working conditions.

Viable alternatives

The First Night Centre aimed at new prisoners was particularly praised as inspectors said the experience of arriving at Barlinnie for the first time could be "terrifying".
A Scottish Executive spokesman said it recognised that prison was "not necessarily the best place for someone who has failed to pay a fine" and insisted it was working hard to find alternatives, including supervised attendance orders. "What's more, we have introduced summary justice reforms that will see the creation of fines enforcement officers," he added.

Barlinnie was found to have held 1,525 inmates on one occasion between April and July 2006, with remand prisoners suffering worst from overcrowding. Last week Justice Minister Cathy Jamieson said she was keeping prison numbers under review and that two new prisons were in the pipeline.

Barlinnie governor Bill McKinlay said a working group had been set up to consider complaints over prison underwear.

Article Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotlan...est/6398929.stm
Uncle Nick
There's one major problem with the beer launcher, when you open the can the beer would probably spurt out all over the place!
DoubleVision
Swiss Accidently Invade Liechtenstein

Zurich, Switz., 3 Mar, 2007 - What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein. According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

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Swiss soldier
sarabyrd
Portuguese Man Leaves Fortune to Random Strangers
Falschparker
Meanwhile, in Craggy Island, Father Ted is reading his local paper...

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Allershausen
One of only 12 of the Bugatti Veyrons has had a crash in England. The thing that made it odd for me is this comment: Surrey Police said the luxury car was driven by a man who had a male passenger with him. Is there more to this than meets the eye?
minga
Teenager leaves "deposit" in German bank!!

http://uk.reuters.com/article/wtMostRead/i...654634420070307
first-time-caller
Got this from the Galway Advertiser

"A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,� the local court heard last week.
Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.
Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,� she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?�
Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek� had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.�
Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit� which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.
McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. "
cantthinkofawittyname
'Elf' lingerie thief found guilty http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6430683.stm

During the three-day trial, the jury heard that Boyd wore a disguise of a blonde curly wig, reading glasses and a beany hat.

He armed himself with a knife before stealing two sets of bras, pants, suspender belts and stockings from the lingerie shop on the Lisburn Road.

sarabyrd
I read this five times and still don't know if the Süddeutsche Zeitung knows something we don't or if they are just plain ignorant:

Baby von Mexiko in die USA entführt
Lubbock - Einen Tag nach seiner Entführung aus einem texanischen Krankenhaus ist ein neugeborenes Baby gesund aufgefunden worden. Das vier Tage alte Mädchen wurde am Sonntag im benachbarten US-Staat New Mexico entdeckt, wie die Polizei in Lubbock mitteilte ... AP
Quelle: Süddeutsche Zeitung
Nr.59, Montag, den 12. März 2007 , Seite 9

So, get the headline: Baby abducted from Mexico to the US. Then: One day after being kidnapped from a Texas hospital a newborn baby has been found in good health. The four-day-old girl was discovered on Sunday in the adjacent US state New Mexico, according to the Lubbock police. Ummm, it's been a while since Texas was part of Mexico.
woolleym
Got this from the Galway Advertiser
<snip>
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. "

I don't know what worries me more, the fact that the guy did this, or the fact the Ireland has a Law called "Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837" that can be used in these situations. (perhaps it is still on the books in the UK too?).

edit: turns out this is a joke story , oh well...
_Gonzo_
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6441461.stm

hmmm..
Uncle Nick
Could make quite an intersting story by deliberately misquoting:

...ambassador to El Salvador ...was found drunk and naked apart from bondage gear.
Reports say he was able to identify himself to police only after a rubber ball had been removed from his mouth.

The incident, which happened two weeks ago, has renewed calls for a radical overhaul of the way Israel appoints and promotes its diplomats.
FuzzyTony
Village Toilet Held for Ransom

EADT - March 16, 2007: Residents in Westhall, near Halesworth, have been baffled by the disappearance of the white porcelain loo, which had proved something of a talking point in the village. The toilet was found in a nearby ditch a fortnight ago and since then it had taken pride of place in the centre of a 'T' junction, filled with flowers and a St George's flag. But yesterday, just as it about to feature on BBC Radio Suffolk, the toilet went missing. It is now being held to ransom.

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The ransom text message for the return of the Westhall toilet.
the Boy From Bozlem
ok not that odd a story but i think its worth a mention just because of the picture

Woman defies Chinese developers

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Sin
Cooking up a storm.

Ingredients: 1 stick, 1 hornet's nest.

Insert stick into hornets nest.
Stir vigourously for 10 seconds.
Run.

The Last Confessions of E. Howard Hunt
PES
Keith Richards: 'I snorted my father'
LONDON -
Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all. In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.
"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Greetings from Jerusalem.
Katrina
BBC News
Nelson Mandela has said he was not offended that a councillor "blacked-up" to attend a fancy dress party as the former South African President.
Brian Gordon, a councillor in Barnet, north London, was reported to the Commission for Racial Equality.

But a spokeswoman for Mr Mandela said he thought the prank was quite funny, only commenting that the councillor's choice of shirts was "rather awkward".

The best bit - the bloody great big badge with "Nelson Mandela" written on it.
*howls with laughter*
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PS Since when has Sin been on Barnet Council?
Yeti
Ashes to ashes.
fun to funky,
me da's up me nose,
says Rolling Stones junky.
DoubleVision
Dentist Denies Urinating in Sink

BBC Wednesday, 4 April 2007 - A dentist accused of urinating in a surgery sink before seeing a patient has said he was "cleaning his teeth" as part of his normal routine.[...]
Following evidence given earlier by dental nurse Claire Pygott, who said she saw the dentist using a surgical sink as a toilet, Mr Hutchinson said he had cleaned the surgery X-ray machine, which he said would normally have a strong smell of ammonia - similar to urine - when washed.

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And...
Belgium to Impose Tax on Barbequing to Fight Global Warming

BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) - The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.


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PES
This ain't as odd as it is sad: Florida police arrest activist for feeding homeless
MIAMI (Reuters) - Police in Florida have arrested an activist for feeding the homeless in downtown Orlando.

Eric Montanez, 21, of the charity group Food Not Bombs, was charged with violating a controversial law against feeding large groups of destitute people in the city center, police said on Thursday.

Montanez was filmed by undercover officers on Wednesday as he served "30 unidentified persons food from a large pot utilizing a ladle," according to an arrest affidavit. The Orlando area is home to Disney World and Universal Studios Florida.
FuzzyTony
Woman Falls Six Stories Into Pile Of Crap

Sky News Wed. April 04, 2007 - A woman survived a fall from a sixth floor balcony when a pile of poo broke her fall.
"She landed in a 20cm thick heap of excrement," the Kuaibao tabloid newspaper gleefully reported.
FuzzyTony
And yet more crappy news. This one from New Zealand:

Human Waste To Plug Extinct Auckland Volcano

Auckland has come up with a novel plan for getting rid of hundreds of thousands of tonnes of human waste - use it to fill one of its many extinct volcanos, then turn it into a regional park. [...] The next eruption from within that field was likely to form a new volcano, rather than come from an existing one, Dr Smith said.
"I think it is pretty safe."
Kay
False fax allows US prison escape.

A prisoner in the US state of Kentucky was mistakenly freed after a phoney fax ordering his release was sent from a nearby grocery store. (...)

The fax ordering his release claimed to be from the state supreme court, but was riddled with spelling errors and had no letterhead. (...)

The prison's director said their policies do not require them to check the source of faxes.

"It's not part of a routine check," said Greg Taylor, "but certainly, in hindsight, that would perhaps have caused somebody to ask a question."

Mr Taylor said spelling mistakes are common on court documents.

No comment.
Moonboot
Deep Pain Pizza. man chops his willy off in front of terrified diners in a pizza parlour.
Janx Spirit
BA edits Branson out of in-flight Bond movie
Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:31PM BST

LONDON (Reuters) - British Airways has airbrushed a scene of arch-rival Sir Richard Branson out of its in-flight James Bond movie "Casino Royale", sources close to the company said on Monday.

Reuters

Jesus, they are so anally clenched that they fart above the range of human hearing...
Kay
Deep Pain Pizza. man chops his willy off in front of terrified diners in a pizza parlour.

... a pizza parlour called "Zizzi", which (though with one, not a double 'z') means "willy" in French.
Punchbear
Top Italian plastic surgeon Dr Nicolo Scuderi said of the operating technique: “We don’t know how much sensitivity and function will be regained.�

In fairness, if he's managed to lop his lad off in the first place, function and sensitivity are pretty low priority on his list of things he expects of his penis. Nutjob.
Kay
Nutjob.

You mean he also... never mind.
Katrina
Yes it is wrong to laugh at the mentally ill [s]or to use words like "spastic" or "mong" even though I still do[/s], the level of possible puns in that story and what the hell the copywriter's first draft must have looked like are the funny bit.
The name of the place being "Zizzi's" for one.
Trying not to use the term "pole-chopping Pole" would be another.
Which makes you realise that being a newspaper editor, even of The Sun, is probably more difficult than you think.
Punchbear
By "difficult" you mean "less funny", yes, no?
Katrina
The original copy will turn up eventually - but it is a news story and one shouldn't really incite the PCC. Well, not all the time so stuff gets sneaked in, especially as picture captions.
sarabyrd
Sexually Frustrated Sea-Elephant Attacks Surfer, Pitbull on California Beach

Keary Sorenson of Sebastopol, a former surfer who volunteers for government and nonprofit agencies in Sonoma County, says that soon after the bull first appeared, he tried unsuccessfully to mate with the (much smaller) female harbor seals. Then, last year, after trying again to mate, he turned violent and began to kill. This year, he is staying around well past his usual departure date at the end of March, and now has started to consume his kills.
...
Last month, the seal bit the leg of a surfer in the ocean after the surfer fell on the animal. The bite caused no serious injury.
Then, on Easter, he attacked a pit bull, a 10-year-old female named Sativa, while the dog was being walked on a beach below River's End Restaurant & Inn in Jenner. Angel Garcia, exercising the dog for a friend, was tossing a stick in the water for it to retrieve. Kathie Lowrey, who lives nearby and was outside washing her car before going to church, saw the dog emerge from the water, drop the stick and begin to shake off droplets of water. "I saw the elephant seal come out of the water like a torpedo, angle down on the dog and land on him," said Lowrey. "Somehow the dog wriggled out and turned and squared off with the seal." Erinn Flaherty, the dog's owner, said Garcia told her Sativa barked defiantly at the seal while Garcia hurled the stick at him. Garcia then escaped with the dog, which suffered a puncture wound the diameter of a quarter in one thigh.
rich_mole
Just saw this on the BBC news website. A little strange:

A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London restaurant.
Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.
A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.
The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.
Katrina
Sometimes, your mum really was telling the truth.
The Times

A schoolboy who climbed over a fence into a crocodile enclosure and taunted the animals with sticks and a catapult was dragged into the water and eaten.
The nine-year-old, whose family name was given as Liu, and three friends sneaked into the crocodile park at the Silver Beach holiday resort at Beihai in the southwestern Guangxi region on Friday.
The children shot at the animals with catapults and beat them with sticks.
cantthinkofawittyname
From the croc story

a city zoo cancelled its “Animal Olympics� after shows featuring boxing matches between kangaroos and their keepers, bears fighting and riding bicycles and an elephant tug-of-war drew unwelcome publicity

bears riding bicycles!! wtf?!
Keydeck
You've never heard of that?

Bear on a bicycle

FuzzyTony
Grandma Finds Condom in McDonald's Bag

AP, 26 April, 2007: Wellington, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed to find a condom in a happy meal gift pack bought for her 7-year-old granddaughter at a McDonald's restaurant in New Zealand, local media reported Thursday.

Boy Gets Toilet Seat Stuck On His Head

Sky News: April 26, 2007 - [...] Firemen came to the two-year-old's rescue after he was taken to their station in Braintree, Essex. The boy had put his head through a small trainer seat and it was stuck fast. "His mum had tried to get it over his head but couldn't budge it so she walked him down here and asked us to have a look at it," said firefighter Chris Cox.

And of course one from America's finest news source:

Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.

The Onion: April 26, 2007 - [...] The U.N. has issued a strongly worded whatever denouncing someone or something presumably having to do with the vicious explosive things that raged across this, or shattered the predawn calm of that, or ripped suddenly through the other, killing umpteen innocent civilians in a Jerusalem bus or Beirut discotheque or Fallujah mosque or whatever it was this time. [...] In an attempt to increase public support of whatever the fuck it is he thinks he's doing, President Bush trotted out the same old whoop-de-do you've heard over and over at a solemn-yet-resolute speech attended by soldiers, or religious leaders, or firemen, or some mix of ethnic-looking people from one of those countries.
Aelfwynn
Residents of the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) are wondering how long it will take to remove a disused Boeing 737 that has been abandoned in a busy road.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6620461.stm
sarabyrd
D.C. Judge Sues The Pants Off South-Korean Dry-Cleaner
asking for $63 mio damages for missing trousers
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