Odd news

They have urged them to get tetanus vaccinations before they flagellate themselves and are nailed to crosses, and to practise good hygiene

Sometimes people repeat the penance year after year, like the fish vendor who will be nailed to the cross for the 15th and last time on Friday to give thanks for his mother's recovery from tuberculosis.

Einbruch in Bogenhausener Restaurant
24.03.2008 In der Nacht vom 22.03.2008 auf den 23.03.2008 schlugen unbekannte Täter die Scheibe eines rückwärtigen Fensters das zu einem italienischen Restaurant in Bogenhausen gehört, ein. Im Inneren der Gaststätte durchsuchten sie Schubläden und Behälter nach Bargeld. Anschließend begaben sie sich in den Weinkeller und entwendeten insgesamt neun Kartons á sechs Flaschen Rotwein der Marken "Brico del Luelone", "Montalcino" sowie zwei Kartons Campagner "Brut-Rose" und ca. 150 Einzelflaschen Rotwein der Marken "Solaia", "Ornellaia", "Tignanello" und "Masseto". Der Gesamwert der edlen Tropfen beläuft sich auf etwa 10000 Euro. Anschließend flüchteten die Täter, wobei sie aller Wahrscheinlichkeit nach ein Fahrzeug benutzten mussten.

...raped by the slow moving Australian marsupial at his home...

Bill owns a company that manufactures and installs car wash systems. (Magic Wand Car Wash Systems, just in case you want to buy one.) Bill's company installed a car wash system in Frederick, Md. Now understand that these are complete systems, including the money changer and money taking machines.

The problem started when the new owner complained to Bill that he was losing significant amounts of money from his coin machines each week. He went as far as to accuse Bill's employees of having a key to the boxes and ripping him off. Bill just couldn't believe that his people would do that, so they setup a camera to catch the thief in action. Well, they did catch him on film!

It's Queensland's own version of Clean Up Australia Day - except much more unpleasant and a whole lot wartier.
Nationals MP Shane Knuth wants to hold a day dedicated to ridding the Sunshine State of public enemy number one, the cane toad.
Millions of Queenslanders would be asked to roll up their sleeves to remove the warty pests from their backyards and beyond during the proposed "Toad Day Out".

"Basically we need ... a special day that Queenslanders, especially children, could all play their part, very similar to Clean Up Australia (Day)," the Charters Towers MP said.
Participants would be encouraged to put the toads in their fridge before euthanasing them in the freezer. They would then be disposed of at a specially set up centre.
Mr Knuth, who last year proposed a 40-cent-per-toad bounty, said both state and federal governments had to seriously consider such a payment as part of any toad hunt.
"I would like the opportunity to present this to (Prime Minister) Kevin Rudd," Mr Knuth said.
"This is not pie in the sky stuff. This is reality."
Mr Knuth admitted to "belting toads with whatever I could get my hands on" in the past, but said cricket bats and golf clubs would not be allowed.

Now I know they always say to get their early to get a good looking one, but...

Camel beauty pageant

BBC: April 7, 2008 - The BBC has received complaints after Anne Robinson asked a contestant to feel her breasts during a celebrity charity version of The Weakest Link.
TV wine-taster Olly Smith felt Robinson's breasts after referring to the 63-year-old presenter as a "full-bodied, expensive red".

Guinness received information that Mr Martin, whose real name is Pierre Jean Martin, told NHS staff that he was born on September 1, 1913, not 1906, as he now claims. A senior adviser to the world record company warned Guinness officials that Mr Martin “appears to be a fake, and more so, one being exploited by his company, which is using him to promote their services�.

Boy Assaulted With Hedgehog

Only in New Zealand

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-1312052,00.html

Man charged with attacking teenager with hedgehog.

They had rehearsed the piece only once, but already the musicians at the Bavarian Radio Symphony Orchestra were suffering. Their ears were ringing. Heads throbbed. Tests showed that the average noise level in the orchestra during the piece, “State of Siege,� by the composer Dror Feiler, was 97.4 decibels, just below the level of a pneumatic drill and a violation of new European noise-at-work limits. Playing more softly or wearing noise-muffling headphones were rejected as unworkable. So instead of having its world premiere on April 4, the piece was dropped. “I had no choice,� said Trygve Nordwall, the orchestra’s manager. “The decision was not made artistically; it was made for the protection of the players.� The cancellation is, so far, probably the most extreme consequence of the new law, which requires employers in Europe to limit workers’ exposure to potentially damaging noise and which took effect for the entertainment industry this month.

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.
Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader!"
Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."

A Roman Catholic priest was last night missing in seas off Brazil after trying to break a record for flying with helium balloons.

Vous Pensez: April 22, 2008 - Designer Erik De Nijs, has stitched together this eye catching pair of “Beauty and the Geek� jeans. These “modern shaped trousers which are often worn by youngsters..� are the perfect solution for Googling quick exits while running from the fashion police.

Kinshasa, Republic of Congo (Reuters), April 23, 2008 - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Broderick Lloyd Laswell, who is awaiting trial for murder, dropped to 22 stone (140kg) after eight months inside the Arkansas prison.

He claims his vision has gone blurry while trying to exercise.

...

Laswell has filed a federal law suit complaining Benton County jail does not provide inmates with enough food.

BAD AIBLING. Zweijähriger fährt mit Bobby-Car zum Tanken
Am Freitag, 18.04.08, gegen 13.00 Uhr, staunte ein Angestellter der Shell-Tankstelle in Bad Aibling, als ein 2-jähriger Junge ohne Eltern bei ihm ankam und sein Bobby-Car auftanken wollte. Einer verständigten Polizeistreife zeigte der Bub dann den Weg in eine benachbarte Wohnsiedlung, den er mit seinem Bobby-Car zurückgelegt hatte. Dort wurde er von den erleichterten Eltern in Empfang genommen, von wo aus er sich in einem unbeobachteten Augenblick „zum Tanken auf die Reise machte“.

The Daily Mail: May 1, 2008 - As miracles go, it is hardly in the same league as turning water into wine. But Michael Cartwright was still pretty impressed when Jesus appeared in the foil wrapping of his cider bottle down at the pub. [...] Mr Cartwright, a taxi driver from Darlington, noticed the extraordinary image while drinking with a group of friends at his local, the Tanners Hall.