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Weird and wacky global news items

Toytown Germany > Discussion forum > Themes > Special
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HellesAngel
Don't read this before breakfast, or too shortly afterwards - Face Eating Tumor Grown by Wacko Jehovah's Witness
sarabyrd
eurovol
Brilliant. laugh.gif When I was working in catering, our competitors within the same convention center landed an account with a Jewish group and for their holiday dinner made some absolutely beautiful and tasty crab meat stuffed pork chops. At the last minute (the fucking redneck idiots), kind us traded them our Cranberry Chicken that was reserved for the staff working our party for their stuffed pork chops. Price-wise, we got 4:1 on that deal.
Schotte
man cuts off penis in restaurant

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england...don/6586879.stm

is Zizzi a chain? i have a feeling ive heard or seen them before, but cant even picture what The Strand looks like.
Kay
Man spends four days trapped in toilet:

QUOTE
A man spent four days trapped in a toilet after the door handle broke.

David Leggat, 55, was unable to raise the alarm after becoming stuck in the toilets at Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club in Aberdeen.

Mr Leggat had no mobile phone or food, and used tap water for refreshment and for heat. (...)
AshleyM

Eco-friendly kangaroo farts could help global warming: scientists say


SYDNEY (AFP) - Australian scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say.

Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas.

People are next?? ph34r.gif
bidul
Tree man 'who grew roots' -This one is rather horrible, don't look if you get freaked out easily..
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml...12/wtree112.xml
Mariposa
A retired teacher in Scotland got trapped in the bathroom at a bowling alley for four days. When someone finally found him, he said:

QUOTE
At least there was a toilet to use. The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,2225312,00.html
sarabyrd
ummmmm, Mariposa:
QUOTE (Kay @ Dec 10 2007, 6:55 pm) *
Fallen Angel
Dresden man chugs liter of vodka at airport security check. unsure.gif

QUOTE
...he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo.
Instead, he chugged the bottle down — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function...

rolleyes.gif
HellesAngel
Here's one that's only odd because the politician is honest, straightforward, and not at all faux-repentant about being handcuffed to a pole in a strip club wearing just his underwear when he did nothing wrong at all, just had a boisterous boys' night out. British public figures always feel they have to make cringing public apologies or explanations for this type of stuff.

Edit: I removed the misleading bit I posted about the other guy's wife...
NOFXmike
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotlan...ast/7145026.stm

A mechanical cow that breaks wind on the hour has become Edinburgh's latest tourist attraction.
Mariposa
QUOTE (sarabyrd @ Dec 12 2007, 9:57 am) *
ummmmm, Mariposa:

Yeah I just now saw that, didn't mean to double-post.
PES
Japanese Monks Stage Fashion Show

QUOTE
By MARI YAMAGUCHI
The Associated Press
December 15, 2007
Japanese monks and nuns hit the catwalk in Tokyo on Saturday in a bid to spread Buddhism among younger people in this rapidly aging society.
The fashion show opened with a Buddhist prayer set to a hip-hop beat at the centuries-old Tsukiji Honganji temple, where nearly 40 monks and nuns from eight major Buddhist sects showed off elaborate robes in an effort to win back believers.
Five monks from each school walked on the runway, then chanted prayers and wrapped up in a grand finale with confetti resembling lotus petals.

eurovol
German girl misses stop, jumps from speeding train and lives.

QUOTE
Nuremberg, Germany - A German schoolgirl suffered only scratches when she jumped from a fast-moving train after learning she had missed her stop, police said Saturday.

The 12-year-old landed in a bush and was able to walk home, following Friday's incident between Nuremberg and Ansbach in the southern state of Bavaria.
PES
Eurovol, we had that yesterday.
Lavender Rain
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/1...s.ap/index.html

Dead bodies are stolen from hospital morgue in Vienna and thieves try to "sell" them via email.
HellesAngel
German police impound Gadaffi's son's Ferrari. They really are brave...
PES
I know...
Kay
Here's the latest proof that size does matter: Giant knickers put out house fire.

QUOTE
A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire.
Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton pants were a lifesaver when they were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Meryl Gardens, Hartlepool, Teesside.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out.

But the quick-thinking pair used the Marks & Spencer underwear from a pile of washing, doused them in water, and threw them over the fire.

Mrs Marsey, 53, said: "My £4.99 parachute knickers have come in handy for something. We've had a good laugh that they were a bit like a fire blanket."
sarabyrd
An alternative to dog bites boy: Dog eats yeast dough, gets dead drunk

Dingo, a three-year-old Labrador living in Austria, ate half a pound of yeast dough with disatrous results: On his arrival at the vet's office he had a blood alcohol concentration of 0.16% and could hardly stand on his own four feet. Further complications were serious flatulence, diarrhoea and a stench like a beer tent, as the dog's disgestion caused the dough to ferment, producing alcohol.

Well, at least he has a source for hair of the dog ...
Allershausen
Canadian drug victim sues dealer

From the BBC: A Canadian woman has successfully sued the dealer who sold her an illegal street drug that put her in a coma.
righter
Brilliant...

What he's dead???
sarabyrd
Swearing to be banned in St. Louis bars
Bavaria is fucking lucky with its wimpy smoking ban! Some damned mud-for-brains city councilman in St. Louis with a fucking krout name (I mean, what decent person in the U.S. of A. is named Richard Veit, only a marble-balled bastard with German ancestors can get away with that!) has introduced a bill to ban swearing in the city's bars.
What kind of half-assed idea is that? When I hit the bars on my weekly quest for shit-facedness I don't want no fucking pansy krout Councilman censoring my vocabulary.
P.S. There is no information regarding the prohibition of swearing on the sidewalk outside the locales.
FuzzyTony
Allentown Man Charged In Two Homicides

QUOTE
Jan 26, 2008 - Allentown police had suspected William Torres of dealing drugs in the city. But an undercover narcotics investigation yielded much more, and resulted in Torres, 21, being charged early Saturday with two counts of homicide.

Now look at this photo of him being escorted by the police:

Odenwalder
Looks like a stone cold killer to me. The slippers are especially threatening tongue.gif
FuzzyTony
Attention, all units! Be on the lookout for...

Maine Man With Flexible Face Wanted On Domestic Assault Warrant

QUOTE
The Smoking Gun: January 30, 2008 - Police in Lewiston, Maine are seeking your help in the apprehension of Robert Morin, who is being sought on a warrant charging him with domestic assault. Morin, 39, is pictured in the below mug shot...

Lavender Rain
A man in England lives with his dead roommate for 10 years ohmy.gif .

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/0...a.ap/index.html
Sin
US police 'dumped paralysed man'

It wasn't me who entitled the piece US police 'dumped paralysed man'. It was Auntie. OK?

And my question is, HOWTHEFUCKINGHELLDOTHESEPEOPLEGETTHEFUCKINGJOBINTHEFIRSTPLACE???

*Takes a moment to calm down

I mean. Imagine you're a taxpayer and you're actually paying with YOUR money for this level of intelligence?

You are? huh.gif
Ruthie
unbefuckinlievable
Odenwalder
Pretty fucked up that it happened.

They aren't "US police" because the US doesn't have a US police. They have Federal Marshals, and it wasn't them. This is some backwards ass Florida country sheriffs stationi.

But yeah, those idiots need to get some mental health assistance.

Now my question, how can a quadriplegic man with minimal use of his arms drive a car?

QUOTE
Brian Sterner was tipped onto the floor of the Florida police station after being arrested over a driving offence.
Allershausen
QUOTE (Odenwalder @ Feb 14 2008, 7:46 am) *
They aren't "US police" because the US doesn't have a US police.

The US doesn't have police? No wonder the crime rate is so high! It's funny though, because whenever I've been to the US there seem to be policemen all over the place.
Odenwalder
States, counties, and cities are responsible for their own police, smartass. Federal Police doesn't exsist in America outside of the US Marshalls. But they are not a typical enforcement agency, either.
Sin
I have a question Odenwalder.

Who's money pays for these monkeys?
Allershausen
You do realise that nobody cares how they are organised? They're policeman, they're in the US, therefore they are US policemen. The rest is just fluff.
Sin
Might as well give 'em all Tasers then and let them loose to rampage around the country's kindergartens.
Odenwalder
QUOTE (Sin @ Feb 14 2008, 8:30 am) *
I have a question Odenwalder.

Who's money pays for these monkeys?

State taxes in one form or another (unless the states are federally funded).

QUOTE (Sin)
Might as well give 'em all Tasers then and let them loose to rampage around the country's kindergartens.

If that's what it takes to improve education and keep kids in school & off the streets tongue.gif (that was a joke, haha)
Odenwalder
QUOTE
LONDON (Reuters) - Police in central England are hunting for a badly scorched would-be copper power cable thief after finding a hacksaw embedded in an 11,000 volt power cable Saturday night.

Wow, that's a fart smucker.
Sin
QUOTE
The thief, who also left a lit blow torch at the scene, is expected to be badly charred, spiky haired and not exactly the brightest bulb in the socket.

I disagree entirely. He/she's probably still glowing.

The sad thing is, it's probably some poor child of a pikey.
Katrina
BBC article on Sleeveface - some very clever pics here. Very clever.

Related topic: Sleeveface - fun with LP covers
Sin
Thanks bobD. Another bookmarked website. smile.gif
Sin
Veteran Loch Ness Monster Hunter Gives Up

QUOTE
Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

huh.gif

QUOTE
Robert, who has also composed Broadway musicals, is regarded as the cream of the crop.

Yeeeeeaaaaaaas. I bet he has.
sarabyrd
Is The British Government Geography-Challenged?
For two consecutive years, Newcastle-under-Lyme receives funds intended for Newcastle-upon-Tyne - and refuses to give them back.
Malcolm Spudbury
Man in girl's uniform terrifies students

QUOTE
NIIZA, Saitama Prefecture--A man wearing a girl's school uniform, make-up and a wig was arrested after shocking students and then trying to blend in at a high school here, police said Thursday.
makkadman
Häagen-Dazs Funds Effort to Identify Why Honeybees are Disappearing Worldwide

"Ice cream manufacturer Häagen-Dazs is worried about the unexplained collapse of honeybee colonies around the world. Häagen-Dazs spokesperson Katti Pien says that "almost 40 per cent of the brand's flavors are dependent on bee pollination and could be threatened by CCD". Known as Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD), no one has yet been able to verify what is causing this “apiarian apocalypse�. Usually only queens, eggs and a few immature workers are left behind while the rest of the colony mysteriously disappears."

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