When I was a kid, one of the highlights of the year was sitting on the sofa with either me old man, or my stepfather watchin' the FA Cup final. It became a religious event in the Englishman's psyche. I always hated watching with my Gooner stepfather. Poor little 9 year old me getting endlessly ribbed with Charlie-Poxy-George because I had backed the losers, Liverpool in '71. He slayed me when Bobby Stokes beat United in '76 (the last time I cried over a football match), and The Arse beatin' United in '79 was the last FA Cup final I could bear to put up with from him after the shit I'd given him over Ipswich stuffin' The Arse the year before.
Watchin' with me 'ammer of an old man was always much, much more fun. Especially 1980. He was 40 and I was 18 - Trevor Brooking downed The Arse. My dad thought he'd died and gone to heaven. There were copious quantities of bubbles blown that day, I can tell you. Brilliant! The last time I sat with me old man to watch an FA Cup final was when Liverpool beat The Arse 2:1. I'd really like to be with him this year because his beloved Hammers are there, and because it may be the last chance, but I discovered today that he might not be up to it. He's been taken ill again with recurring heart problems. I can't afford it anyway.
So I'm askin' if there is any other Englishman out there with a 3 or 4 year old kid, with access to a telly and the game, but not in a smokey bar, so that I can sit with my son and initiate him into one of the spiritual things from home.
Anybody?