Integration of TT newcomers from all walks of life

I have spent the last five months on "Toytown" trying to get to know people and attending Toytown events surreptitiously. I have refused to disclose my online name in these instances because I felt who I was in reality, rather then my online persona, was more important. The result has been zero interaction from other TTers. Is disclosure of my virtual identity a prerequisite for my interation? I would hope that some of my own particular Irish estovers have not made this a reality but often it seems as if it heralds the truth; a double disclaimer. I think the integration of the Britboard offers a redemption for us all, not only those that think that they are smarter than everyone else, but one that allows us bricklayers, joiners and plasters , who are obviously of much higher intelligence than the average programmer, to assert our influence on a dead sexist medium that is Toytown and will now forever be known as BRITBOARD.

well a post like that will certainly help.

Thanks , you are now part of the revolution...

I find intregration a 2 way street. I have been to many TT events, an just went in and joined the party. There are many others that stand outside, and expect people to bring them in and approach them. You are an adult, God gave you a mouth, use it to talk to someone.
I have met alot of people at TT events, that it was like talking to a dead person. I understand that some are not as outgoing as some of TTers, but the effort must go both ways.
When I attended Curry nights, I usually tried to talk to most people that were there, or at least find out their names. I know its hard going to an event alone, and everyone knowing everyone else, but lets be honest, everyone here is friendly, and open to newbies.
I also find ones attitude online makes a difference too. (there are alot of Online people, I could care less to meet).

What Carm said.

Why not disclose both? Are you a completely different person online? If so, why? I have no qualms about people knowing both of my names. Indeed, the picture in my profile has always been a picture of me simply so that I cannot hide behind a fictitious electronic identity*. I should hope that I don't say anything in the online world that I wouldn't want to own up to in the real one.
Are we certain that this is the sole reason why there's been zero interaction? I would find it peculiar and a a bit suspect if someone was too embarassed to admit their online name, but it wouldn't preclude me from talking with them. Mind, there are loads of other reasons why I might not want to talk with them.

Again, no.
I can't tell if this is meant to be serious. If so, I have to assume that you're aware of the unusually high number of programmers who hang out on Toytown and that they might be apt to feel insulted**. You're not likely to win friends with comments like that.

Good luck to you. I suppose the non-British English speaking ex-pats will start their own board?

* No qualms about the people who use the funny pictures in their profile, those are nice, too.
** No disrespect whatsoever intended to bricklayers, et al. I'm not trying to make the opposite point that the average programmer is obviously of much higher intelligence.

What UpQuark said.

one word ... attitude... TT is what you make of it... there are loads of friendly people out there - both on line and in person... but it takes all sorts to make up the world

Why are you trying to hide your screen name is the question you should ask your Self. Obviously you have some issues and it sounds to me that you are getting exactly what you believed you would get. Life works that way in general.
take care,
space

Has somebody actually slighted you or do you just perceive that "the programmers" look down on you? You never know some of them may have parents that are bricklayers, joiners and plasters, who they know are as intelligent as anybody else.

Look at the time of post - 5.30am. This might have been a drunken rant.

What event was last night? Oh yeah, Curry Night - what did you people do to the poor fella to make him react like that?

Nah! Can't be Curry Night we went to an Irish bar afterwards and had "working class" drinks with "working class" people.

Nearly took the advice of a friend who said "Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave".

It's not worth your time trying to analyse what Topcat means in his post. It was written purely to provoke and with the intention of getting some negative responses so that he can say something along the lines of "Ha, I got you, I knew you'd respond like that". Yawn. The "dead sexist medium" is a particular gem in this inane diatribe. What are you on lad and where can we get it wholesale? So be nice to him, Topcat needs your sympathy. What was that song from that other northern lad, oh yeah, "Scorn not his simplicity"

where do Coffee Barristas fit into your hierachy?

To be honest, whether you disclose your online name or not, it wouldn't have said much to me either way. With so many posters it's hard to stand out and make any sort of impression. Nothing that really stands out in my memory anyway.

hmmm - i was always looking forward to meeting TopCat, I thought his posts were quite cool, really...

Now I know that I might have actually met you but you were hiding your identity it's a bit disappointing, really.

I always introduce myself with my real name, but if peeps ask me who I am online then of course I tell them.

this whole thread strikes me as a bit bizarre, tbh.

EDIT - oh, and what exile said... some of us have family who are in working class professions (some of us even have family who've had extended holidays at her majesty's pleasure ). There might be some snooty-nosed peeps in our midst but i wouldn't say they are in the majority by any stretch. maybe you've just met the wrong people or summat

I have never attended a TT event, but I have sent another person in my place who does not have internet access. So we really are separate people.

Funny as hell... and deserved.

Although I spent my first TT even (Watching F1) sitting alone as I was too shy to join in. Only person i spoke to was Sin... and that was just a 1 minute chat before everybody seemed to wander off. Just get in there... if they don't like you for that then it's there loss

When you first enter play it looks as though everyone at the event has known eachother forever and that can be a tad daunting. I feel a bit of a spare part at times but every machine needs spare parts. Won't stop me grabbing the mike on Friday nights and bothering complete strangers

i have spoken to some very nice people who didn't want to disclose their online persona. TBH, if some is friendly and seems like a nice person, one or two names, who cares?
i find it interesting that topcat1 felt that he was being treated differently because he didn't give his online name... i wonder if anyone else had a similar expererience.

but why would you refuse to reveal your online name?
i don't understand, really

So you can start topics like this

If you want to be seen as the nice person that you really are when you meet people but carry on being a twat on the forums. Not that I am calling Topcat a twat by any means but that is certainly one reason someone might do such a thing.

there are some people I can think of (naming no names ) where I could maybe understand that being a strategy...
but topcat isn't a twat on the forums, so in this case that explanation doesn't really make sense

me neither Topsy. When i meet a random new person and they say "I'm so and so online" then i tend to remember them better, if it is an online ID i recognise. I meet so many new people, the ones that stick are the ones i can put names to faces (and since i am not very good at remembering names in the first place, it helps it i am already familiar with the online ID)

Name tags. We need TT Name tags which we all must wear when out and about. I like name tags

I think a key here could be the expression "trying to get to know people" in the first post, backed up by others later. Depending on the thread topic, time of day, other posters, mood etc. you get to know a side of people on Toytown (these opinions given as a lurker and occasional poster, by the way) that corresponds to the way they are in a certain situation at a certain time. Same when you meet them in real life, plus extra added body language. All of these impressions add up to knowing a complete person - eventually. But a forum like Toytown can give you an initial illusion of "knowing" someone that might be completely overturned when you meet them in real life. And all of this as Carm said is a two-way street - they go through the same process when they meet you. Getting to know people in any meaningful sense (oo-er missus) is a pretty gradual thing, and Toytown can speed up a few initial stages, but you still have to put in many and various kinds of legwork. I do find it hard to understand the "zero interaction". There must have been SOME, unless you just stood there and waited for people to talk to you? You presumably showed interest in finding out about them (online or real personas, whatever)? Did you find people hard to talk to, uninterested, offhand? What kind of events did you go to?

what aload of bolloxs. if you dont reveal your online jobbie me whatsit at an "event" (always makes them sound exclusive and official which they are not) then your losing the ice breaking moment. people know you from online, so say who you are and have it done and dusted, and after the first five minutes you'll know they are ignoring you because of your working class manual labour job and not because of your name. anyway programmers are the new plasteres.

I agree with Gideon. If you're not going to to reveal your top secret TT identity at a TT event it's a bit like going to a office party dressed up as a somebody else. What's the point of interacting with people and then compartmentalising your life so you have no background when you actually met them face to face ?

Totally agreed. I mean, what have you got to hide? Are you worried that you may have upset someone? Or do you just want that bit of mystery? How did you respond when somebody asked you what your screen name was? Was it "I am not going to tell you because that has nothing to do with things"?

That is what I like about Toytown. There is very little hiding behind nicknames and those that do are normally those that do, do not want to integrate at all on whole.

Funny, I met a guy at the TB one night, and he knew DDBug and I, from online, we were open about who we are, but he wouldn't tell us his online name, told us it was none of our business! So, I am thinking he is an ass (he just rubbed me the wrong way), but then Lupo told us his online name, and yep, he was an ass online too!

He probably doesn't want to get thumbed by someone he called a banker.

I never introduce myself as TBFB but if someone does asks I dont have any problem with telling them.

It can be a bit stupid at times though when your out and the people round the table start introducing themselves as Goldenrod, Love Sausage and SpunkyWankSock

EDIT: whoops that’s the other forum im on

The problem with revealing my identity in real life is that I never know which online persona to reveal myself as. I am 3 of the posters (Yeti, Owain Glyndwr and planenmoni) in this thread for example, Editor Bob pays me six McDonalds cheeseburgers a day to make the site look busy.

I don't understand this topic at all. Topcat, you're saying you don't wanna reveal your online identity because your "real identity" is more important? Okay, that's all well and good, but frankly when I'm chatting with someone and they don't wanna give me their online ID, I do find that a bit sketchy. Once people get to know you in real life, who you are online shouldn't make a lot of difference.

I do know most of the people round these here parts and they all know me. Those that meet me for the first time generally just say, "oh, snap, you're gg?" And then everybody has a good laugh and that's that.

As has been said a billion and one times on this forum, don't say anything online that you wouldn't say face-to-face and you should have nothing to hide.

You're not missing anything - we are all horrible people with nothing to say anyhoo.

I used to not reveal my online identity, simply because Im much taller and more charming online than off.

I would say that for some people, attending a TT event solo can indeed be a very daunting task. Based on his posts obviously TC1 doesn't have a problem meeting new people and socializing but isn't getting the level of social return and attention he expects from TTers or Irish Pubs, possibly not anywhere here in Munich really. While I can understand some of the venting, the comment about intelligence is simply uncalled for and insulting to the programmers on the board, to the construction laymen referenced, and to the people who *you seem to assume* think that ones position in life is an indication of intelligence. In short, questioning or degrading the level of intelligence it *does* take to do *any* of those jobs is assinine and insulting.

As far as I can see there really isn't a point in addressing TC1 concerns. Enough people have done so and I'm sure he'll bother replying to the collective questions and concerns at his leisure.

However, I will give some pointers to others who may be wary of "fitting" in with TT.

1. Come out and give us a try. There's various events: drinks, dinners, sports (badminton, rugby, tennis), clubbing, meetups etc etc etc. for various groups of people. Hell we now even have the "german - american you have to be married but seriously dating is probably ok as long as you are sort of ok not really under 50 and are willing to meet fortnightly but no more than 6 couples or 12 people max can attend" meetup. They *say* they're not swingers, really.

2. Host your own event: If you don't see an event that suits your fancy you are welcome to organise one. If you're not sure how to go about doing that post up and some people will help you. I personally have done brunches and those have gone over very well and I have met a lot of nice people. Granted i usually have a strategery in place: opt for shit weather on a sunday when everything will be closed and everyone will be bored, hungry and possibly lonely or fed up with whoever else is in their flat.

3. Don't give up on the first try: Others have pointed out that you have to put yourself "out there" at events, I know thats easier said than done so really, try not to be disappointed if your first TT event isnt everything you dreamed of and more. haha. I went to my first one and the people were nice enough, I just felt like an idiot. I also dont (normally) sit up til wee hours drinking and spinning yarns or what have you so many of the events weren't attractive. I didnt attend another TT event for *months* but I gave it a few more gos and it was, well nice. Definitely beat sitting home, alone, working and pretending to watch German telly and cursing my neighbor for his bad pick up moves. Though in case anyone cares, I think he got lucky last weekend. Go him.

My 2 cents as I have no wellies. Posh bastards.

jml

Well, but don't whinge afterwards that we don't talk to you. You might just end up starting a thread about how intolerant and unfriendly the TT ppl are, because you're not feeling included.
Ohh, hang on. I'm already posting on a thread re. this issue...

I suppose this was a bit of a late night drunken rant, which I am apt to now and again. However, there was a point to it. I am more the type of cat that hides under the bed when someone starts hoovering, than a topcat. It is difficult to fit in where everyone else seems to know each other and I do admit to feeling a little bit uncomfortable and ill at ease in these types of situations and I am sure that that makes it equally as difficult for people I am meeting for the first time. I suppose if you feel awkward and embarrassed, you communicate it to others and they then mirror it back to you.

The bricklayer, plasterer, programmer thing was a bit of a wind up more than anything but again there seems to be a lot of intelligent people on TT and that can be daunting when the only thing you are really good at is mediocrity.

I did not disclose my on line identity because I felt a little like a fish out of water and thought it was preferable to someone saying, "oh yeah that Topcat guy the one that acts like a rabbit caught in the headlights and cannot string two words together". I suppose I need to make more effort but it is a bit like your driving test: you drive brilliantly in the practice beforehand but as soon as the examiner gets into the car you cannot even start the engine. I am just a normal bloke, possibly a bit more sensitive and quiet than I appear online, where I tend to be a mouthy facetious arrogant cunt (thanks for the pm by the way ).

As long as everyone does not take every word I write seriously then I might not feel as intimidated as I did the first time.

tc i think we all realised it was an alcohohoh-hol induced post. hey i cant spell and dont use big letters and i still post. i even got voted the "wurst eva spella from toitoun" - bastards one and all. maybe try going to one of the sports things first

I have the feeling most people here don't take anything anybody writes too seriously - thank goodness! At least, I hope they don't take my stuff too seriously (and I've only been on TT two months).

I'm very good at mediocrity. Anyway, don't worry, if they haven't ripped you to shreds online, they must think you're OK.

(Hey, what happened to all those nice wellie pix that were in this thread earlier, BTW? )

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the pms, encouragement, advice and invitations and for all the posts critical and otherwise. I will try not to humiliate myself any further and I will leave the "inane diatribe" to those that are much better at it than I am.

Mate, don't be so negative about yourself. Your posts are pretty amusing and switched on so it's in there somewhere - just dive into a Curry Night, have a beer and you'll be alright.

I reckon these are probably best to get involved with first off as you can chat easily to the guys around you, then later in the evening when you're a bit more relaxed mingle a bit. Also the regulars are used to (and very skilled at) making newbies feel welcome - as they did with me in February when I first arrived (just get there early though otherwise you'll wait ages for the food!).

Good luck and hope to see you at Curry next week (sign up form is up and running from Monday)

Ignore what Lassie said TC1 - word on the street is that Lassie is Gooner scum and so no longer welcome in either Munich or London...

In all seriousness, just don't be coy - get out there and launch yourself into it. If you don't like it you never have to go out again - what have you got to lose? I did it, at a Curry Night, and was made welcome, and haven't looked back since (over two years ago now in fact).

TC1 - you gotta know something's good if both a 'Gooner' and 'Spurs knobjockey' agree on it!

The word on the street I've heard Jimbo is that you got sent back to London in disgrace once people realised you were a Spurs fan!

They were all removed in the dead of day. Far too seditious for the new TT!

Happens all the time when regimes need "Lebensraum".

Hey TC1 - being a 'newbie' myself, all I can say is, at least i ain't Niacron

brightened up a dark evening!

What a thought. I suppose, from the facial expressions I've seen after divulging my online ID in the past, I would end up getting hugs half the time and slaps the other half!


I'm going to have to steal that last one...

I used to be a fabulously rich millionare, house in Bermuda, another one in Grunwald. 2.3 kids, cars. yacht, skiing chalet in Swizerland, horse. Then I discovered Toytown. Now! I`m poor, homeless, yachtless, I stink of curry all the time, I drink too much, spend all my money on taxis ( cos the bleedin`U-Bahn stops at 24:00) am oversexed. And now work as a plumber. The horse hates me too. And talk to people I don`t know. BUT! Am I happy?...
Well, no not really.