Spiegel Magazine's survival guide for Germany

The English Spiegel Online is not known for good editing. I doubt they will catch it.

Well, if that's true then they'll look stupid.

how about I make you meet some really nice Germans? Maybe your opinion might change?

No matter why you are living here, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless, and btw I dont know any Germans who speak as badly about other nations as you speak about the Germans

yes, I am German too

Right. Ask your average German their opinion of the Turks.

Steph, just relax. If you want to be on Toytown, you have to be prepared for the Germans to get a certain about of complaints about them.

or the Americans ...

@Steph

Ask Gideon what nationality his wife is. I think you might be surprised. He's just another Englishman in denial. They just wish that England was as nice as Germany and then they could all go back. But sadly, England is not the home of great cars, great public transport system, functioning health care, 5 weeks' statutory leave, great beer, etc.

You are going to make us meet nice Germans. Just like you knew ways of making us talk? Ahem

well if Germans want to show the rest of the world what they're really like, why not invite visitors to stay with them instead of paying excessive hotel charges? I'll start by offering a couple of girls accommodation, even though I'm not German. Great PR excercise eh?

Crawlie, you lost me there Now what dreadful mistake did I make?

The devil's in the detail verb, Steph...

Thanks, Kay!

Showem, I do agree with you, I guess the list of nations with bad opinions about other nations is endless.
However, I would never have the guts to tell an Englishman e.g. that I met really rude Enlgish people in my life

Ok, if you ever want to meet nice Germans, just let me know then!

Steph - its just gideon's way , don't worry too much about it - he's gets you annoyed the first couple of times but then you just get accustomed to letting it sort of wash over you

Personally, I think there are lots of nice Germans (Bavarians too even )

This is actually a common problem on this site. Too many people see a rant about Germany, which is necessary to let off a bit of steam and survive in this country, as fundamental belief that all that is German is wrong and we know best and would prefer it done our way. Eventually you get the "Well if you do not like it here then eff off back to [insert country name]"

However, the people that defend the Germans are normally just looking to get laid as some poor innocent German woman is probably being hassled by the nasty English or something.

I used to get well wound up but I find humour helps ease the major stress I encounter living abroad. Some people just take comments far too seriously for their own good

true, although gids does have a rather 'special' style that is pretty confrontational . Sure, you get used to after a while, but it sounds pretty harsh and unfair when you first hear/see it


for some people it's perhaps necessary but it isn't an absolute must

Of course, but it is a case of getting used to it. New people obviously will not understand but you will eventually see that a lot of this is good old harmless fun.

Yes it is. It is the only way to survive anywhere. Otherwise you keep your frustrations bottled up and the situation gets worse and worse. Eventually you end up killing post office workers or something cos they are all out to get you

indeed - which is pretty much what I said too (about letting it wash over you). To an extent at least anyway - I'll still disagree if I think someone has said something that is unfair/untrue

British humour can be difficult to get even for some (Non British/Irish) native English speakers so its even harder for non-native speakers.

to be honest gideons original statement was hardly what I would classify as 'british humour'. Or if it is then I'm seriously lacking in it

I do understand that a lot of stuff is harmless fun, but I also think that some of the comments are not, e.g. comments that aim at Nazis, Gestapo etc. which I personally dont take seriously but still like to express my opinion

In any case, if any non-German should ever encounter problems in Germany, let us Germans know, maybe we can even help. BTW we also like to kill people at the Kreisverwaltungsreferat, certain bus drivers, surely most shop assistants etc

Nah. His statement was perfectly OK and could quite easily be used to describe people who shop at Harrods

We would love to but we have to fill out to many forms... ahem

it's tough enough for native brits! moaning, griping, whinging , etc. is very often in jest. don't ask why (but i'm sure someone has a theory or two) but we find it funny.

i'm sure there's a psychology/sociology thesis in analysing the content of this type of website.

Please don't get me started...

http://www.deutsche-in-london.net

plenty of good slagging off and sterotypical expat whinging from germans about brits. take it with large portions of saline solution injected directly into the brain, just as some of it here.


mmm... least i have a wife eh??? denial. not really, i have roots here, and im not going to fuck up my kids life just because i get pissed off about germans inability to be polite and nice to strangers. i cant be a selfish egoistic single guy anymore. my wife would love to live in england though. as too your silly list.

great cars? a car is a toaster with wheels, it has a function thats all. if it gets me and a family from a to b. good.

great public transport systems? yep its good, but its ruined by the natives trying to kill you when you get on and off.

functioning health care. just had to take out EXTRA health care so that i can afford decent dental and optical care for thw whole family. hardly the sign of a functioning health care system

5 weeks leave. what muppet company do you work for. i get six.

great beer? the "standard beer" is good, but the variety is sadly lacking. i much prefer warm fermented ales so i find england covers my taste buds quiet well.

Interesting for I understand English humor more than american humor...

well it would be hard for anyone to understand something that doesn't exist

Yes, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, Monty Python, etc. are all extremely difficult to understand. Gideon just wasn't funny.

ok, how about this: I invite you all to my place for a cup of English tea???

The only tea I drink by the way cos the teas you get here in Germany pretty much suck

The OOT splenetic rant about "something/someone" has a well worn place in British humour cf. Angry of Purley.

P.S. Why do people infer "Can be ... for some" is "always ... for everybody"?

Yes, but the English moan all the time so the German expats are only trying to fit in. Show me an Englishman who doesn't moan about London in anycase!


So, how would you be fucking up your kid's life? By sending him to live in the UK? Why am I being selfish and egoistic now because I disagree with your take on Germans?

Sounds like a Rover you talking about. That's why they're still in business?


London mate. Go to London.

Still way better than the NHS. Where would you be without all the antipodean doctors and nurses I wonder?


Statutory you muppet. I have 6 too! Yay!


That's where I realise I should just give up arguing with you if you really enjoy drinking urine regardless of the variety.

you want to try 'brass eye' or anything involving chris morris, ulysses.

actually gideon are you related to chris morris?

Tea=yuck ´

but thanks for the invite.

So your not going to subject them to the german educational system then?

rooibos (rotbusch) rocks!

yeah, german tea, blimey! since when could tea come from anything but the tea bush? a herbal infusion is one thing (and pretty nasty too) but tea is tea and should be drunk with a splosh of milk!

mate you lack in a lot of departments, humour being one sometimes i do seriously believe you make marvin look lick a jolly happy jump around energy android. but i type as i type. enough people know me here in real life - Ulysess - being one to know im actualy quiet a mild person. honest. sometimes.


wow i eid not make any of these...! but i can do if you want. steph for your info. i've been here 13 years, been visiting for over 16 married a munich girl, have two wonderful gifts from god called financial liabilities or children, depending on your view, speak german pretty fluently, and understand german culture and history. so believe me, my comments are based on a large amount of experience. (ok i forget smilies when i type which doesnt help). in fact alot of what i've written has been thouroughly discussed (in german) with other nice germans who i know. it seems there is a general "mistrust" between strangers here, once you manage to actualy get on with things people are as nice as pie, i find it quiet disturbing sometimes as much as many nice germans i know., but it comes down to the "germans have rules, others have manners", "kann and could" etc, etc, or a somebody once wrote in the süddie - "germans in an english speakinig enviroment should have three words tatooed on their mouths - please thank you. and then you've got the barvarians...

guys, come to my house, drink tea or whatever you like...
just lets be friendly to each other ok?

I love your genghis (your comparison) posting style now I've tuned to it gideon. Doesn't detract from the fact that it can sound abrupt when you first see it


i don't doubt that

yawn. lived in london mate while you were still accepting an arpatheid system. drive a volvo. sister is a top manager in the NHS in liverpool. new tons of expat germans in london too, thats how i became involved with münchen.

no but thanks for the compliment.


thats fine apart from the silly schreibschrift and getting up at 6 in the morning. no munich is a great place for kids to grow up, and as they allready have a bunch of friends and all their cousins and stuff here, i dont want them to lose that.


steph, its Toytown, things allways read worse than they are.

thats the yorkshire in me. or is it my 13 years in munich. mmmm?

Gideon, my comment about Gestapo etc was not aimed at you.

I can well understand some of your experiences here and I can add a list of bad experiences myself, shop assistants being number 1. I love it everytime time I go shopping in another country cos one doesnt seem to be the enemy of the shop assistant there.

Your idea of using smileys might help though, cos to be honest, some of your comments come across pretty cruelly if one doesnt know you.

good to know thanks

yep, tis the intention sometimes.

German tea is crap. Fact. Even that English Breakfast Tea bollocks is crap. You need to put 37 teabags into one cup and leave to stew for 2 1/2 weeks to get any kind of flavour out of them.

And those bloody infusion teas. Woohoo! They smell like strawberries or "Fruits of the Forest" but taste like, well, tea... Pointless

Totally agree, Crawlie! Hence, I am happy to have an English boyfriend who keeps me supplied with real tea
and I keep him supplied with Schweinbraten and Dumplings
so we combine both cultures well I would say!

i'm off down the tea shop in erding this afternoon to see if i can get some nice ceylon or darjeeling. let's see what i come back with. you can't beat real tea from a pot.

mind you, they know their coffee here compared to the rubbish that you usually get served back on the islands.

oooh, schweinebraten and dumplings. haven't had that in ages. and with schwarzbiersosse. yum!

yes thats how I do it, but not with Schwarzbeer, but with Helles and Onions...it is super I must say...we just had it on Sat

@Steph

Yes, Gideon and I actually get on well in real life. Well, everywhere except on a touch rugby field.

last time i saw you on one of them you could still get a maß for twelve reichspfennigs.

"Germans make the best americans, but the worst Germans"
-Henry Miller