How to tell a shy guy that you like him

When you are shy yourself

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verliebt
Don't really want to give a lot of details as never know who reads this - so here are basics

1. I am EXTREMEELY shy
2. Am totally and hopelessly in love with the soulmate of my life
3. He is German
4. He is just as shy
5. Neither of us have had relationships within the last 5-8 years
6. I dont know him well enough to know what to do - I dont know if we are even "friends" right now or just a couple people who get together with a mutual friend often.
7. He is average looking (gorgeous to me of course, but average to everyone else) while I am on the less than average side (not the thin european type person people expect here)
8. I am afraid of both acception and rejection
9. Have no idea if he would even be interested in being friends let alone more.
10. Have no idea what so ever at all what to do???

Can someone offer some serious good advice. I know I need to find a way to tell him, but I just dont know how that wont embarrass both of us if there are no feelings on his side. I can not go on like this (has been months now) as cant focus, sleep, etc...

Help!
brokenm
Every man would be flattered. But he still may not be interested. Ask him out for a couple of beers, movie or a dinner. He will get the hint.
Rus
Is valentine day on Tuesday that is usually a good way to at least let him know he has an admirer.
If he feels the same about you he will instinctively know it is you that has sent him a card
sk8rgrl
Well, if I were you...

I'd ask him to go and do something "non-date-like". Something you know that interests him...

It would probably help if you asked while in the company of your mutual friend...but invite them both when you know the mutual friend will most likely be unavailable for the event.

I'm no expert though...

Btw, does the mutual friend know you like this guy???
Katrina
Awww
Of course until point 5, I thought you were about to ask out the former Herr Indoors!
In any case, you're not in love, you're infatuated. Love is something different entirely (and usually involves some kind of reciprication).
Ask him out! It surely must be better than sleepless nights? Ask if he's going to a certain party that you'll also be at. Get talking to him, see what you have in common (both like football? Go to a match together. Talked about a new film? Make a date to see it, that sort of thing).
Good luck!

NOTE: of course I never took this advice personally, I would go the beer route everytime
Carm
do you have his email? if so, then you could email asking him to a movie (like Brokenm said) or to meet for a glass wine in a nice wine bar. Just the two of you, he will understand and either say yes or no... he may have an excuse ( a real good one), but then you haven't had to do it face to face and take the rejection face to face. I always find that hurts more. If he says no, you can still go on being 'friends' with no complications.
Kza
Sounds like your not ready for it. From my experience, if somethings meant to happen, it will. When two people are really meant to be together theres usually a spark that pulls them together and its actually hard to avoid. If you have to struggle or work for it, rather than just let things happen then that spark probably isnt there. These fears you have, are probably warranted. Thats not to say you shouldnt try and spend as much time with him as possible, with your mutual friend, cos maybe something will happen in the future.
Jenny L
I've never really understood the whole being shy thing. But this might be an excellent opportunity to become a bit more outgoing. Call him up, ask him out for coffee or a movie or dinner or iceskating or bowling or something.

Go get 'em, tiger.
Inflatablewoman
Sounds like your not ready for it. From my experience, if somethings meant to happen, it will.
Couldn't agree more. That said, you could maybe force the issue by sticking your testicles on the line and telling him how you feel.
boomtown_rat
and is the mutual friend male or female by the way.

Oh this is tricky, brings back lots of memories from teenage years! Its difficult when you are both so shy. Need some background facts - do you rely on the mutual friend being around in order to do stuff together or do you think you could have a good and (reasonably) relaxed time with just the two of you together? In that case maybe I'd try and do something just the two of you. Do you have any indication of if he likes you or not? Can you 'engineer' a situation where you can be close to him and a bit intimate (no excessively over the top stuff - start by holding his hand or something)

Somehow you have to overcome your nerves of rejection (and acceptance) and just go for it.

I'm excited for you on your behalf if that helps!
Small Town Boy
My advice would be ignore Kza's and accept Carm's. Email to ask if he fancies meeting up and doing something. Trust me, he will take the hint. If he's interested, he'll say yes. Even if he's already seen the film or otherwise hates the suggested idea itself. If he says no, you've lost no face.

Good luck!!
Johnny English
or getting your baps out? should get the hint then.
Inflatablewoman
From the sound of it they are large baps too.
bluedave
Go out and get drunk with the guy and then later after a good night send them a drunken loving text or mail telling them how you feel

Not saying it will work but i know a few that have tried this method
Rus
From the sound of it, they are large baps too.
Perhaps she should post a pic here and we can judge whether they are worth getting out before we go and hand out this kind of advice.
It would be wrong for us to make the suggestion and possibly add to the poor girls humiliation if her baps are not very impressive
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