My girlfriend is mental, innit

My gf really excelled herself this week. She decided, because we have a new wardrobe that she'd get ALL my shirts washed and ironed at the launderette to save herself time. (I told her I'd do my own washing and ironing but she insisted!). Once washed and ironed she'd be able to keep up with it all. It was only when she told me she took 59, yes fifty fuckin nine shirts to the dry cleaners that I began to wonder exactly what she'd taken. I know I have a lot of shirts but not 50fuckin9 surely. She picked them up yesterday (from the launderette), and last night I opened the wardrobe to see tatty old shits that I never wear (looking tatty but clean and ironed of course) in between decent shirts that I do wear. One shirt in particular caught my eye. . . . . not tatty or old but looking new and fresh. I know this shirt. I only ever wore it once and, after a particularly boisterous night out a year or so ago, it got ripped to fuck down the front. Ever since it's been lurking at the bottom of the washbin waiting to be thrown out. Little did it know it was gonna get dragged into a washing and ironing frenzy, cost another 1.90Euro and then get thrown in the bin. I can't imagine what the woman doing the ironing must have thought. Still, she did get a discount and it only cost 1.90 Euro per shirt instead of 3 or something! Mental innit.

that's 112 euros, ffs
good grief

so your girlfriend took you to the cleaners.

Man, I hate it when that happens.

Topsy you missed off the 10cents bit after the 112 bit. Good grief indeed. I've got more shirts than I can shake a stick at. Don't know where she found em all.

yeah maybe she's mental but she's cleaning your shirts (well, sort of . . .) I don't even clean my own shirts so consider yourself lucky.

she also aired ur dirty laundry in public...

Oh here we go.. Wont be long before this thread is all washed up...

I'm just wondering when the "you think your girlfriend is mental? Well, mine..." but will start.

and hungchickened out to dry

at least his reputation is whiter than white...

Here is a song for you!

“serious man,
you fucking missus is nuts.
My missus is nuts and all,
she rings me at least 40 times a day….
Serious!�

I seen you last night, you were drinkin' in the pub,
You were drinkin' with that bird you tried to chat up in the nightclub,
Can't say her name but she's got a gammy eye,
And I'm feeling near her violence when I have to walk on by,
You can't deny it, it's something you can't miss,
That bird thats hangin' out with you is mad like cats piss,
Like bread and jam or a knife drawn with butter,
Face it son, your missus is a nutter!

[Chorus]
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Leave her at home! Your missus is a nutter!

I never seen a woman make a fuckin' skinhead cry,
And I never seen a woman tryin' to snap an arm with a thigh,
Now I have and its just across the pub,
And the worst thing is,
she's taking you out for a rub,
You don’t deserve it, you know it’s a fact,
But mix her up with booze you gotta suicide pact,
2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules,
She's a wrecking ball and her fists are the tools.

Binge drinking, binge drinking tried keeping up with your missus,
What was I thinking?
She looks like Caprice,
But it’s a shock to see her wrestling 2 police,
With one in a headlock!
Fighting with bouncers and flashing her bits,
After too flamin’ sambucas she dont care who she hits,
Waking up on Sunday morning with bruises and cuts,
Face it son, your missus is nuts!

[Repeat Chorus]

Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,
Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,

It was last week, what really got me thinking,
About how your missus goes nuts when we go drinking,
Last week, she ended up on a binge, she got off her tits,
And showed the bouncers her minge,
And it’s the threat of grievous bodily harm,
She needs to keep calm,
And use her charm,
I used to think it was funny,
It made me laugh,
When she threw the ash trays at the bar staff.

Stabbed a man with a comb, just to get a drink,
Theres no logic,
just start a Drink, fight, drink, fight, drink

She grabs your throat, and stares into your eyes,
Have you ever seen a woman kill a man with her thighs?

Oh son, your missus is trouble,
Everytime you have a drink she has a double,
Is she on pukkas?
I think shes tripping?
Stop lookin' at me love it's water what I'm sippin'.

“I seen her get on a mountain bike,
and drove into timbland's and did ‘em all in…. wikkid�

At least he's not lost his shirt with this girl. Even the torn one.

Mental is this. Yesterday I went out and spent 131 Euros on beer, snacks and beer glasses because her (the gf's) family were coming round. She told me I'd wasted my money and moaned like f**k at me. Glad was I then this morning when she had to call in sick and yaked up 3 times before lunch. Now that's no waste, that's justice!

Why are you talking in Yoda Speak?

That's the way normal Brits speak, Rus, innit?
We're not all posh tory boys like you, you know...

Does one need a reason to speak Yoda speak?

Meckle & Jeckel? Weren't they crows or somesuch from some comic?

I dont think I ever spoke like that

Clearcut case. extreme ironing even at one remove. Check her into Betty Ford now.

Wow, that is crazy! She took a shirt in your washbinand got it washed. I suggest you have her committed.

Christ, I'd have her stuffed and mounted. She can't be real!

22 superfluous posts. All you had to do was post the heading.

Reckon I've written too many Police statements. "Walking down the road I was when all of a sudden. . . . "

google "yoda speak" and this is what you get . . .

Yoda Speak
Very ill I am. Small feeling am I. Bed me calls. Wake me up when I'm human again.

Google ? There is no google. Keydeck you must !

so anything new on the GF front???

or is everything A OK???

I get my shirts cleaned and iron for .99€ a peice. They do a great job. But, then again, I live in Ludwigsburg.

(there has to be some advantages to living here...apart from Oma and Opa, 1.50€ doners...

My mother-in-law comes round and does our ironing at a cost of 0.00c per shirt. Only payment is getting our ears bent about house being scruffy, kids being neglected etc etc.

Then again we do live in Klosterlechfeld which is between nowhere and nowhere special.

I'de rather pay 5 euro a shirt than have to listen to my mother in law!!!

Ha, I live in Schwabing and my mother-in-law comes round every wednesday, does the ironing, takes the children's laundry (if I forget to hide it) does the dishes and brings a meal.

I do tend to be in the office late on Wednesdays so I don't have to pay the price Johnny English does