i agree, being unaware of how offensive a word is to someone else does not justify using that word. I also think that "Neger" is outdated and reeks of racism.
However, I also understand that many Germans are simply unware of the connotations of the word (like i said above, this does not justify its use) and it might take a while and some education to politely point this out.
Yah, I was flat out shocked when I came back from my ski vacation very tan (I'm mocha color anyway, but I came back pretty much espresso), and a respectable German work colleague said, "Wow, you look like a Neger." To which I said, "
Say what?"... I know she wasn't trying to be racist, but I can't jelp that I have never looked at her the same again.