Prizes for a corporate "bonding" day out

You know when companies decide that it'd be a really great idea for everybody to go and partake in some pathetic "team building" exercise or other?
Well, my friend has been asked by her boss to buy some "prizes" for the day.
What he wants is some sort of crap that the winners can keep on their desk at work. The whole thing quite frankly sickens me, but I'll start a different thread on that.

Anyhoo, the point it, she has no idea what to get, and I cannot even begin to think of anything, so its being thrown open to TT.

What sort of crap can be given for a bent corporate team building day out prize that you can be kept on a desk??

A talking fish/lobster/crocodile/squid...

One of those crappy momentum toys, the one with the swinging balls.

How about 60 minutes in a mastabatorium?

Get a lolly company, like Haribo, to make corporate lollies, like your corporate logo or something. Like those corny ones mobile phone companies give away when you walk in their shop doors.

realte to the theme of the day. maybe a little poster with "i beat the boss at ..."

they have those gizmos, a full size plug-in handset (circa 1950) for mobile phones...
http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=1044

we have to do crap like that, i effing hate it
we usually end up with a certificate (that some idiots actually do hang up on their ego walls ), or a trophy (e.g. the time we went go-karting, which was at least good fun)

Yep, that was my first suggestion Totally unfunny, never been funny, never will be funny. Then everyone can use their fake office laugh a bit.

Firebox.com and the like have loads of stuff - but there is no time for internet orders, it has to be purchased in Munich. Pretty much every city I have ever lived in would present no problem here, but Munich has no shops atall of the gadgety nature. Heathrow airport alone is better for ALL shopping than the entire of Munihc IMO. Unless you wanna buy a shit ,massive, wooden, nutcracker.

Make a Traveller's Pack of airport conveniences, like the blow-up neck pillow, ear plugs, clippy book lamp and some of the other shit they have hanging on the racks. There's some good stuff there, it's cheap, very useful, and everyone can use it or knows someone else who'd love to have it.

That's if you like your office mates. If you don't, stick with the fish.

woof.

It's simple man. Get the 14" Black Mamba mounted on a plaque with a little gold plate where the name can be inscribed. Turn your 'team' into a bunch of losers in an instant.

A fish tank for their desk. And maybe a dancing flower thingee.

Rotastack.

theres a gadget/crap shop at the Giselastrasse underground...

On second thoughts, there is nothing that makes me quite want to kill myself so badly as a corporate organised team bonding event filled with nausea inducing inspirational quotes and getting-to-know-each-other-better touchy feely sentiments dreamt up by aging office nerds who have no fucking idea and are going home afterwards to eat a TV dinner and then masturbate in a congratulatory manner to reward themselves for a job well done.

So I'm thinking vouchers for a counselling sessions would be appropriate prizes.
The staff can tape their appointment times up on their cubicle walls for everyone to admire and management will be chuffed to have another excuse for a new health & safety blitz afterwards where they can come and confiscate any sharp objects. (staples, etc).

How about a copy of the jobs vacant part of the Suddeutsche?

Phallic shaped cacti to show what pricks they were for taking part in the event in the first place

A customised dartboard with the company name/logo on it (where on the dartboard it would be is a debatable matter).

Just above the picture of the CEO's face?

Make that an inflatable dartboard.

I think we're onto something here people...

Well there are variants:
Positive - names of competitors as low scoring numbers, your company in all the trebles or maybe logo or buzzword such as "quality" in the bullseye and company name at top
Negative - normal dartboard with boss' face in middle and team members around it
Neutral - just a dartboard with a little brass name plate at the bottom as everyone likes a bit of chucking sharp objects to chill out

A gift voucher for another team bonding day.