Semantics, pedants, arguments & the muvver tongue

The English language is arguably the most alive language in existence. From its roots as a pidgin allowing invading Germanic tribes in the south to talk to Viking invaders in the North, through the drastic changes brought about by the Norman Invasion, to the creative explosion of the Elizabethan era, to the fragmentation brought about by dispersion both intentional and unintentional to the modern-day recombinant form as peoples from around the world find themselves able to instantly communicate with each other, English has grown, changed, diversified, and it survives. But what's English?

More words than any other language, grammar based on prepositions and word order, a stunning lack of declension and conjugation, the ability to create new words from Latin and Greek roots, an amazing ability to absorb foreign words, and constant bickering over what is and isn't the correct way to mix these elements together.

Most English-speakers agree on most words but we can't even agree on how to spell many of them. Worse, many people have trouble learning the rules and the exceptions (or just can't be bothered to do so). We're quite tied to our language and the representation of our lands through it. Out of this pride and the inherent confusion of the language itself due to so many subtleties come the inevitable arguments. That's where the pedants come in.

One may argue that most English-speakers learn British English and while this may no longer be the case due to the proliferation of American entertainment, I leave that argument and go right for the throat, discounting all non-native speakers. After all, the French, Germans, the whole rest of the world can say "sirty-sree" until they're all blue in the face and they'll still be wrong. The number is pronounced "thirty-three"; we like our voiced and unvoiced dental fricatives, thankyouverymuch. So to hell with non-native-speaking opinions; we have enough to argue over amongst ourselves.

And argue we do. Many of the semantic arguments are rather petty but that's what pedants argue over: small things which nevertheless have some perceived importance, at least to those who argue such things. And it will necessarily come down to a pissing match until either enough sources are cited that one side concedes or an agreement to disagree on a point occurs. That's pride fucking with us. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. But we have pride and so the arguing continues.

If you don't like arguments and pissing matches, stay away from threads where the language is discussed. Back in the early days of USENET, alt.usage.english was one of the highest traffic groups and still remains a force (discounting the binaries groups). There's non-stop bickering over the most inane ideas and usage. But even when insults are thrown, they're rarely personal attacks but rather a way to show utter exasperation with a particular topic or post. You can dress up a bulletin board, give it an easy-to-use interface, let lots of inexperienced people in, but the same thing will happen, moderators or no.

The difference with pedants is this: we argue just like this in public, too. For hours! We'll discuss the sad lack of gerund form in German and the implications of it as regards our own English usage. Sad, no? Half my class time in advanced linguistics courses was spent trying to piss higher up the wall than the prof. It's not a topic for the thin-skinned. It's also not necessarily for the overly pugnacious since the argument itself has a purpose and both sides have a lot of ammo. They are arguments of attrition and neither side takes prisoners.

Don't take the arguments personally. We all see English differently and all defend our version as the One True Language, though we will begrudginly allow that some heathen bordering the other side of a large body of water may have their own peculiarities which, while disdainful, still leave the language more or less unharmed and are therefore ever-so-slightly tolerable. In small doses.

So the bickering will continue over such differences as "colour" versus "color", alumin(i)um, "-ise" vs. "-ize" and thousands of other trivialities which, regardless of the speaker or writer's choice, will be understood by the audience. The pedants will then scream amongst themselves over the incorrect usages and on-lookers may be caught up in the ensuing battle. Wear battle dress (flame-proof underwear is mandatory) or find a different thread.

woof.

I just fixed the incorrect capitalisation on your topic title, BD.

Otherwise, good post.

I'm sure that should be 'pidgin'

Ed Bob - look in OED - it is capitaliZation.

Please un-fix it. It was written as a title or headline: all words other than prepositions and conjunctions are capitalised. Also, "Muvver Tongue" is a proper noun and therefore always capitalised.

woof.

Chicago manual of style - header capitalization ...

AP Style Guide and Libel Manual agrees.

woof.

Interesting weekly podcast about the English language. It's done by Americans, so if that offends you then look away now.

The Word Nerds

Finally! I've been misspelling that word all over the board today and no one bit. Corrected now.

woof.

Where I come from, de number is turty tree. An dat's no lie.

I also notice more non-native speakers are also using this pronunciation as it's easier for them too.
Or in the rhyme my babysitter used to teach me as a kid - " dis, dat, dese, dose, dat's the way the 'th' goes"

That's because some pedants have been busy biting into cakes and drinking cappuccino!

Just for kicks (saw this in someone's sig on a different group)

Beaut quote, that. Thanks.