How are German kids brought up?

okay, so we went on Saturday to the musical Aida. Behind us there were two german ladies with three kids (around 7 years old..). In the middle of the musical one of the women started taking out drinks, brezel, and all sort of things and giving it to the kids, who were all excited about it. It was amazing (and pretty noisy: you know, the plastic that covers those mini juices..). I could not belive it and found it pretty rude, so I told them during the break my thoughts. They were very upset about me telling them and they say that I could not understand it because I don't have children (which is true, but what does it have to do??). So is this the way germans are being brought up? Have a picnic in the middle of a musical because you are a kid!!
And the best thing: when the musical was finished they left all the rubbish there!! Did not even pick it up and put it in the bin!!

Sounds like very bad behavior to me. Don't think it ever happened during a performance I attended. Maybe in a cinema, but not during a life performance. Hope you still enjoyed the musical, though.

Two specific women with three kids pissed you off, fine, rant away. But why do you feel the need to generalise about 85 million?

was just about to write the same, thanks Keydeck. I'm quite sure not all German children are like this.

Well, maybe her question was impliciting asking if they are all like this.

I had the opposite experience, my German mom is still appalled at the fact that in North America people eat popcorn during a movie. Same goes for concerts where I find people a lot more conscientious about stifling coughs and blowing noses here. Don't know what rock these people crawled out from under but that does not seem like German behaviour to me

very good points, except there are frequently threads, citing different incidents, questioning German parenting practices and the encouragement, if not outright reward, of rude behaviour. coincidence?

yep, devil's advocate hat firmly wedged on my head this morning.

Showem, you are right (thanks!) I just wanted to find out if that was a common thing here and is not considered rude!
Yes, I enjoyed the musical

I'd rather have someone next to meet eat popcorn than talk loudly throughout the movie.

still doesn't make a total generalization acceptable; you get rude children everywhere.

I didn't say it did, or that you don't.

My Ma calls such incidents a typical case of "slap the parents". The kids didn't ask for food or drink, did they? The way I understood your post the mothers just started unpacking the goodies and dishing them out.

Germans suck!!! And so do their kids!!! Waaaaaaaah!

What you are not allowed to eat during a musical? I am not german but I am an uncultured piece of swamp vermin that was never taken to a musical by my parents (thank fuck anyway, as they are pretty lame for kids), movies sure (but more likely bush bands at t&c club), and everyone knows you are allowed to eat there. So my upbringing would allow me to assume that I may take and eat food at a musical too, as I would see it as being like the movies.

Perhaps you should ask how are lower class kids brought up? As I am sure there are plenty of german kids who were raised with going to musicals as a part of life, and know all the rules and shit.

Yes, my point was the lady giving them the stuff. Not the kids. I have no kids, but if I had I would not give them anything to eat or drink during a show. (these kids were not babies...)I would wait until it is finished or there is a break...Then I thought that it could be something common in Germany...That is all. I found it rude. Others may not.

What?? Has she ever been to a German movie theatre? I am certain that they have stands selling food and drinks outside. Sounds like a complaint just to be heard rather than being based on reality.

If you attend the Opera in Verona, almost everyone briings their food and drinks with them. Or you can buy from the people who walk up and down the aisle. It is more a cross between a baseball game than how one would compose themselves at a theatre in the US. It might be that going to the Opera here is more common than in the US and the "specialness" of the experience is not the same. Therefore they would act more like N.A. would act in the movie theatre than at an Opera. You also see it with regard to the clothes people wear to the Opera here. About half of them are in jeans or what I would call street wear. While the other half are dressed to the nines. In N.A. I never attended an Opera and saw people not dressed up.

I see nothing wrong with it, I just think it depends on how much importance you place on the experience. If it's a one off, than I understand why you would be upset. but, if you attend every month. You realise this is how they are enjoying the experience.

Apart from the right or wrong of giving kids food during a musical (Kza makes a good point in relation to cinemas) what bothers me is the immediate generalisation you've made. You say you thought it could be something common in Germany because of one incident. That's weird.

Eating food is not the normal thing done at the theatre.

Its not the cinema where you can just chew chew chew, its a cultural experience (ok depending on what show you go and see). Tickets for AIDA arent cheap.

In the west end, they would ask you to leave.

I thought she asked if it was common, not that she thought it was.

Well, the lady made me think of it as a general thing here

This is what scares me away from going to the opera or the orchestra and all that flash shit. Not knowing the rules, and running the risk of making a dick of myself. Is there a thread of all the dos and donts of trendy shit like this?

Hmmm at the last movie I went to at The Cinema, I had a nachos with cheese, 2 beers, a large popcorn and a Häagen-Dazs - had to use the seat next to me to hold it all. Hmmmm, if I keep ingesting crap like that, I might need 2 seats in the future just for my fat ass...

anyone who uses this sentence shows they dont really have a clue about kids. all your good intentions get thrown out the window when the little buggers arrive. ;-)

i dont condone what these parents did( if your going to take food and drink make sure its in noiseless containers for a start), but we parents do things sometimes to prevent kids getting fractious (spellinK?), would you rather they would have waited untill the break and have the kids nagging for 20 mins? as always a parents tollerance level is higher than a non-parents, but i find it nice that they took them to a musical instead of hiding them untill they are 18.

and if your worried about the picknick -music combo, dont go to glydebourne.

I think i've spotted the problem here,,, this was Aida-THE MUSICAL!!! jeez, complete bastardisation of something resembling a decent opera. You deserve everything u got!
MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

She made the comparison when she first came over to Canada 25 years ago. At that time you were not allowed to eat in cinemas in Munich but the practice was common in NA.

Watching an outdoor Opera is a lot different than watching it in a concert hall. You go for the experience of seeing an Opera in an Arena not for the quality of the sound or music. I don't see how you can compare the two.


Fair enough but at the prices they charge it would certainly piss me off to no end to have to put up with someone chomping in my ear while I'm trying to listen to music. I'm very surprised that this is even allowed. Where was the venue?

edit: nonsense posted by me

On a similar thread: Two girls started talking on their mobile phones while we were all watching Harry Potter 2 (this was a while ago). I politely told them that I was trying to listen to what was being said in the movie and they immediately hung up. Some Germans are brought up decently.

It's nice that they stopped, but don't you think they shouldn't have been using their mobiles in the first place?

Some people are brought up decently.

Course, that's why I asked them to stop. I could have pulled a Keydeck and threathened to break their kneecaps if they don't turn them off but I decided to try the subtle method first.

I'd never do that. Although there was one incident where some teenage girls were playing loud ringtones on the u-bahn. I asked them to stop but they refused and as they were getting off the train one of them held the phone near my ear. I simply twatted the phone out of her hand and it hit the floor. I got some appreciative smiles from the other passengers for that one.

Despite what that woman led you to believe, thats not a German thing, thats just rudeness. Unless the kids have some form of health issue which requires them to eat at specific time, i.e. diabetes, theres no reason why this woman couldn't feed her kids before the show - they would've easily made it to the break.

@Kza the most important things to keep in mind for any of these cultural events is - dress nicely (note that doesn't always mean posh), leave your gigantic bags at home since the seats are usually narrow, be on time else they'll shut the doors and you'll have wasted your money, oh and be kind to your neighbors and don't eat anything to fragrant prior to the show.

@pirulero ...nice...

how do you know? sorry jml, but thats a very "i have no kids myself but i'll tell you where you go wrong with your parenting" sort of answer. they may have been rushed of their feet, and had to delay feeding till later. ans as germans turn everything be it bus or train or musical into a picknick, they wouldnt think twice about it. i just hope the ate with their mouths closed and didnt talk wth them full - the one reason why i hate the cinema. american eating habits

and that's a very "all parents are good parents" answer. lots of rude assholes (world over) breed and raise their kids accordingly.

when I went to see Madame Butterfly a few months back at the Staatsoper, I was about 30 seconds late (stoopid taxi) and they'd shut the doors! got led to a private room to the left of the stage (by a very dishy doorman) above the orchestra the second tier up. was an AMAZING view much better than the seat I'd missed! after the interval I joined my surprised mates...had to lob someone (who had a standing only ticket) out of my seat tho grr!

Changed Post: Not worth the comment

gideon, are you saying it's ok to bring your own food and eat wherever you like?

changed post because brokenm changed his first.

Sorry Butterbean,
I changed the post before I realised anyone commented on it. I just find it strange when people obsess over every problem as being America's fault.

true. best not to bite when the zealots comment. sigh.

get a room you two!

are you saying that because we're both open mouthed eating Americans??? (with lovely teeth)

@Gieon...ah I knew you'd go there...this is not IMHO a parenting issue, its just a manners issue. I think most people on this thread would agree that her behaviour was unusual, especially as the children weren't asking for food. You yourself don't condone what she did. And she didn't even have the good manners to dispose of their rubbish that they brought in with them. And please don't compare it to the cinema where they SELL you the food to eat during the show. I'm not saying this woman was a bad parent, I am saying that her behaviour was plain rude throughout - in the act itself, in her response, and in her departure. Seeing as I have plenty of manners -including occassionaly eating with me american mouth shut - I can say that now can't I.

They dont even sell food at musicals? Fuck that. Watching something and eating something are pretty much inseperable for me. What the hell am I supposed to do with my hands? I would just end up falling asleep.

Danger wank my man, danger wank.

you can say anything you want manners? what are those. we're in germany, they have signs not manners. seriously i hate cinemas because of the disgusting eating habits of all nationalities. i find it ill mannered when people next to me gorge themselves on popcorn with the eating habits of a very hungry animal. i was nudging jml on the anerican thang. brokenm you are soooo wayy off the mark, but is was a funny reply.

Actually it was meant to be tongue in cheek and to incite you a bit. Missed on the latter point though...must try harder next time.

First of all, I don't think rosa's generalizing German behaviour, and even if she was, don't get so sensitive because this is a forum about life in Germany.. is it not? I think complaining or asking questions about the people here is normal.
Second of all, I think it's hard to bring kids anywhere without some sort of activity or distraction to keep them from getting bored or irritable, which I'm sure would happen if you brought your kids to Aida. That was the women's mistake. Perhaps these women should've hired a babysitter and left the kids at home...

That being said I believe I CAN generalize about Germans about bringing the kids fcking everywhere. I'm sick of people being so pushy with their prams. I love kids and I want loads of them but I will never be so rude and pushy just because I have kids and "should" therefore have some sort of priveleges. Although, I guess in this society you have to be pushy with your pram because I could imagine that no one would ever let you through. FYI, There's another generalization... there are some pushy, ill-mannered & impatient MFs in this country

Rosa-you asked a fair question... no not all germans have picnics at musicals nor do americans, good thing you spoke up to them, just hope it was civil, maybe these ladies weren't trying to be rude-most likely they have forgotten that the rest of the population hasn't turned into their childs keeper's as well...and have given up on eating a warm meals or sit through a 'musical' without distraction. I know a few moms like that. (german, english and american) It is easy to fall into that mode...people can only understand this when/if you have your own kids... Just the same for those of us with kids-we should not forget what it was like before kids and go to these kind of functions and have to subjected to situations like this. At times, I have shoosed noisy kids of all nationalities, shoosed some childless adults as well... It's all in the approach.
I'm a parent, my daughter (11) and I go to theater/musicals sometimes and movies often, we dress nice to both, most of the time I turn of my cell phone, love (salted) popcorn at the movies, try to eat quietly-but it's popcorn . We always pick up after ourselves and I make the German kids that often tag along to do so as well, a few times I got, some backtalk from them...but no more . At the theater we wait until intermission to eat, if she sneaks something-she does so quietly-I see to that-because it's would be rude of me to allow my child to deliberately make a bunch of noise or run around at an affair as mentioned-she can do that at home or in playground.
Good thing there is the TT to bounce these kind of things like this off of...eh? I understood your initial post as sort of survey as well-and not a generalization of 85million people..or something like that... servus