I'm thinking of getting my legs cut off

They're boring me, any advice?

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yoyo
Anyone have advice?

They're boring me.
bonydebbie
all 3?
Hazza
Use anasthetic - or at least get really pissed beforehand, because it will hurt a lot otherwise.

If you end up getting pissed, then I'd suggest you get someone else to do it for you, as performing any kind of major surgery drunk is not a good idea.

Good Luck!!
yoyo
Matthew 18:8

Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot bore thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting ennui.

I went to church on Sunday.
Inflatablewoman
Getting your legs cut off is a dumb idea. If you really want to go ahead and do it, I think it would be a good idea to also remove your head.
brokenm
Hey you shouldn't use TT for this type of medical advice..in fact read this TT is not a replacement for your physician to learn more.
Crawlie
Don't use a chainsaw. Some bloke in Austria tried it and died from the subsequent bleeding. He got a Darwin award for it though. Bloody Austrians
Hazza
Also, check with your employer to make sure you can take sick leave, as you'll be bedridden for a while recovering. Remember to contact the Arbeitsamt about subsequent disability pensions. Having no legs is considered a disability here in Germany...
Andrew
if you do go ahead, take some pictures and post them for us
yoyo
I was thinking about getting stuck somewhere in the woods so the only way I can survive is to slowly cut my legs off with a blunt pen knife...

Then I can drag myself back to civilization and get on Larry King.
arshoo
run along now and do it. why you standing there for advice, chop them off and if you feel like you didnt do the right thing later dont come back running to TT for more advice. we wont be able to stand it.
32D
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and 3) would be good in bed.

Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

"Yes, but are you good in bed?"

"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
By chance happen to see this ad?
Hazza
If you're going to do it out in the woods, then you'll need some kind of tourniquet. Otherwise you will probably bleed to death. Make sure you sterilise your blunt penknife too, to avoid subsequent complications arising from possible infections.
Kza
@yoyo Heh forget church, if you want to interpret the scriptures as an extemist and damage yourself, you should become a jew, they only have to chop the end of their dick off. Most of the crazy extremists do take it literally and actually do it I have heard, well not to themselves that might hurt, the spineless extremists do it to their kids!!

Nah scrap that. At least you have the balls to do it to yourself voluntarily, which has to be better!
brokenm
If you decide to do an arm as well, make certain you do your legs first, otherwise make certain you don't cut your stronger arm off. I had a terrible time trying to cut my legs off. The right one went almost perfect, but I could not get the angloe right on my left, leaving a pretty ugly looking stump. Now I am a bit embarrassed going to my stump fetish supprot group sessions.
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