Our story begins sometime this summer, when the better half and I discovered that, although never to be found in any of the sites providing "information" (to laugh or to cry here?) about driving license regulations, our Israeli driving licenses (yes, I know, we're terrorists, let's get on with it) can be simply converted to German ones after being translated to German and a small fee paid. Wonderful, we said. No hassle with taking annoying driving courses, paying a minimum of €1.5K for each course, results sould come relatively fast and no chance of failure. German efficiency at it's best, thought we. Hip hip hurray.
So we happily go and get the documents translated. A plain old translator would of course not suffice, so we wen't on to find a "vereinigte" one, which has the magic stamp that fixes it all. Now, since finding a vereinigte translator that does Hebrew to German isn't the easiest thing in this troubled part of the world, we settled for translating the English part of the drivers license, which is valid in Germany as an international driving license, at least for people who are just visiting the country. We departed from some €15 for each, and happily marched to the KVR offices that deals with driving licenses.
We wait our turn, hand over the documents, the girl at the desk looks through them, and blankly points to the translation and tells us: "This is not a classification", showing us the classification part that says "B". "Whadaya mean?", say we, confounded and perplexed. "It means I don't know what this 'B' classification is in German classification terms". "And besides, there's no indication as to when the license was issued". Here my train of thoughts starts to go multi-threaded and overheated.
Granted, the Israeli authorities didn't put the date of issue on the international side. Stupidity? Probably. Is it necessary to have it on an international license? Probably not, because otherwise it wouldn't be accepted in other countries. But, on the other side of the license, there were a few dates written (actually, only the years): 1976, 2010, and 1994. Clearly, the first one can't be the date I issued it, as it corresponds suspiciously to the year I was born in. Against the second one there is that relatively strong evidence of linearity of time. Next to the last one there was one word in Hebrew which means "of the year", but Jeez, what could that be? I tried to explain, I tried to convince her that that is actually the date of issue, but the lady stood her ground. Nope. We have to go translate the whole Hebrew document from scratch. Shell out another 20€ for each license.
Then there was the classification issue. I try to explain to her that this is an international document, it can't mean anything else than "B", and being such a document, we assumed that it's translation would be sufficient. To this she answers that she doesn't know that for sure, and that (GRRRR...) the fact that we assumed something doesn't make it true. I try to explain to her that holding this document, I could drive around Germany during the first 6 months of my stay here. What if a policeman stopped me then? What, he couldn't know if I'm allowed to drive a car, a motorbike or a helicopter? To this she answers that he doesn't know either, he "would have had to believe whatever you say". "So can't you believe me now?", I ask? She issues a bland smile and says no. Then I think (I didn't actually say this out loud, I didn't want to insult her), isn't it her job, being a clerk sitting in a position to accept or reject driving license conversions from other countries, to know what kind of classification an international "B" is in Germany?
Nope. With a smile saying - I've seen 200 like you before, you stupid twirp, don't you ever learn, she kindly refers us to ADAC office nearby, to go and get the driving licenses' classification verified. Grumpy and feeling cheated, we pedal over to ADAC, wait again for our turn, and get the lady to classify our documents. "16 Euro for each, please", says the kind lady there.
And what did we find out? You guessed it. International "B" is also German "B". For two times sixteen bucks.
Long live beaurocracy.
